In preparing for Valentine's Day

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it
logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the
address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle
identification number of every car I've ever owned... but I
forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS -- I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed
to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so
I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said
and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so
that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize
it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm
starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."

[rgcraig]

Good reminder.....

I better get my order in for flowers for me......lol!

[MrsMcD]

Good reminder.....

I better get my order in for flowers for me......lol!

:killinme :killinme :killinme

[Ferd]

a woman wrote this.

[Esther]

a woman wrote this.

You think? :bliss

[Ferd]

I edited a few for accuracy

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: Talking is not required. We don’t need a
Big long word bash to understand it…go away.

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: What you need to understand it that it works.

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the
address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle
identification number of every car I've ever owned... but I
forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS -- I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed
to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated: :”Even if I explain it, you will act like I am an idiot so
Lets just cut to the chase. You go ahead and think I am an idiot
And I wont have to do a bunch of talking”

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "I put my stuff right here, but once again it appears you ‘put
It where it belongs’”

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "Oh boy another 20 minute beat down because I did something
Horrible enough for the UN to get involved, like leaving a cabinet door open.?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "Stop talking after the 18th time you said it, I still didn’t agree!"

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize
the adjustment period of having some new woman yell at me would be too
Traumatic."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm
starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "Watching you gloat and tell me ‘I told you so’ AGAIN is too much so
I am going to drive around until I figure out where I am so I wont have to hear it."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated: "You do the work and I listen to you complain"

[Ferd]

I guess all the girls stormed off in a huff over my revision.

[rgcraig]

a woman wrote this.

I think Theresa did!

[Ferd]

I think Theresa did!

what she took some time off from beating her husband?

[rgcraig]

I guess all the girls stormed off in a huff over my revision.

Ferd, yours are just as accurate!

[rgcraig]

what she took some time off from beating her husband?

She's going to beat you when she reads this.

Now, I need to run out at lunch and buy me some of those little heart candies and leave them around the house and on my desk.

I mean, really...if we can't love ourselves, who can we expect to love us!

[Sister Truth Seeker]

Men are from MARS....and therefore totally alien to this world...:killinme

[Ferd]

Men are from MARS....and therefore totally alien to this world...:killinme

women are insane.

[Felicity]

women are insane.Women are wonderful!! :girlnails





















(So are men! ;) :))

[Ferd]

...and think socs belong in the hamper.

[Ferd]

Women are wonderful!! :girlnails


(So are men! ;) :))

...sanity isnt a requirement to being wonderful. the two most wonderful people in the world are my mother and my wife. the next 3 are my sisters....


all five are completly nuts!

[LadyRev]

...sanity isnt a requirement to being wonderful. the two most wonderful people in the world are my mother and my wife. the next 3 are my sisters....


all five are completly nuts!

And you are an expert because???

Takes one to know one is how the saying goes! :tease

[Ronzo]

Just in Time for V-day!!!!


Git'R Done Chocolates (http://www.junkfoodblog.com/2006/07/larry-cable-guy-valentine-chocolates.html)

[Carpenter]

She's going to beat you when she reads this.

Now, I need to run out at lunch and buy me some of those little heart candies and leave them around the house and on my desk.

I mean, really...if we can't love ourselves, who can we expect to love us!

Uh oh, are you promoting self love?....NARCISSISM! God FOrbid! Where's Chancellor!!!

:killinme :killinme :killinme

[StillStanding]

Uh oh, are you promoting self love?....NARCISSISM! God FOrbid! Where's Chancellor!!!

:killinme :killinme :killinme

Chan no like that word! :heeheehee

[Ferd]

And you are an expert because???

Takes one to know one is how the saying goes! :tease

typical female going crazy over nuthen....


Sister I am an expert because I am an only boy in a family of 4. I know more about women than any man I know. I have sat in on so many "girl talks" than you can shake a stick at. As much as any man can, I understand how women think.....and my sisters will vouch for this.

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

Hopefully Tomorrow I can post some for the Ladies

:bouquet

I better install some love smileys too!

[Theresa]

I think Theresa did!

ROFL!

me?

it sounds like me, but I wasnt smart enough to put it all into words LOL!!!!!!!!

[Sister Truth Seeker]

women are insane.

Men make us that way!!!:beatdeadhorse

[Theresa]

what she took some time off from beating her husband?

hey......he's now employed, full time, and loving it :)

And I'm not beating him up, any longer...

Ask Renda, I've taken her advise. It, along with his new job, has solved EVERYTHING..

*sigh*

Life is good again

[rgcraig]

hey......he's now employed, full time, and loving it :)

And I'm not beating him up, any longer...

Ask Renda, I've taken her advise. It, along with his new job, has solved EVERYTHING..

*sigh*

Life is good againCan you believe that's been a year ago!!!!!!

[Theresa]

Can you believe that's been a year ago!!!!!!

NO!!

Can you believe it took a YEAR??

but your advise is still the best advise EVER!!! It works every time. My friend and I went shopping Saturday after a ladies breakfast (church ladies) and her husband is having a crabby moment or two in his life - much like my husband has had for the past year...Well, we both are/were dealing with husbands who KNEW we were going to a ladies thing, KNEW we were going shopping afterwards, but still managed to call us and POUT and otherwise attempt to make us feel guilty for being gone, while we were out. ((they called several times))

My dh wasnt nearly as bad as hers...hers was downright MEAN, mine just pouted b/c since I was gone, he was lost and had no clue how to pass the time....((he got over that before I got home)) Anyway, I gave her your advise and took it for myself

Sunday morning, she walked into the ss teacher meeting and flashed me a thumbs up. I flashed her back TWO thumbs up...it was a RIOT. I had to praise sing Sunday morning and she was on the front row with her class, I lost it during "standing on the promises" b/c I made eye contact with her....

she couldnt see both of our husbands out there in the audience looking like cats that ate the canary!! Both of them


suckers :D

[rgcraig]

NO!!

Can you believe it took a YEAR??

but your advise is still the best advise EVER!!! It works every time. My friend and I went shopping Saturday after a ladies breakfast (church ladies) and her husband is having a crabby moment or two in his life - much like my husband has had for the past year...Well, we both are/were dealing with husbands who KNEW we were going to a ladies thing, KNEW we were going shopping afterwards, but still managed to call us and POUT and otherwise attempt to make us feel guilty for being gone, while we were out. ((they called several times))

My dh wasnt nearly as bad as hers...hers was downright MEAN, mine just pouted b/c since I was gone, he was lost and had no clue how to pass the time....((he got over that before I got home)) Anyway, I gave her your advise and took it for myself

Sunday morning, she walked into the ss teacher meeting and flashed me a thumbs up. I flashed her back TWO thumbs up...it was a RIOT. I had to praise sing Sunday morning and she was on the front row with her class, I lost it during "standing on the promises" b/c I made eye contact with her....

she couldnt see both of our husbands out there in the audience looking like cats that ate the canary!! Both of them


suckers :D
LOL! That's so funny!

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

Ok, for those who forgot the advise, what was it?

(our archives for 1 yr ago are temporary unavailable)

[rgcraig]

Ok, for those who forgot the advise, what was it?

(our archives for 1 yr ago are temporary unavailable)
It was NEVER made public.....and probably won't be - :highfive

[Theresa]

if you are talking about the advise Renda gave me - nope it was not public knowledge - but it should be told to every young wife

or not so young wife

and the very old

well maybe not them


ROFL

[Theresa]

:killinme


I totally cracked myself up on that one

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

It was NEVER made public.....and probably won't be - :highfive

Ohhhhh Sorry.
:thad

(BTW can this evolve into *THAT* Thread?)

[Theresa]

you should all pause for a moment and thank God that you are not privy to the thoughts and voices in my head

[Theresa]

Ohhhhh Sorry.
:thad

(BTW can this evolve into *THAT* Thread?)

no, food is never mentioned

[Theresa]

I'm killing me!!!!!!!!!



I'm on a serious sugar high I think, I'm laughing at myself

[rgcraig]

No, Boom hair spray is never mentioned either.

No, this thread couldn't evolve into "that" thread because it's not for public knowledge (just the ladies).

[rgcraig]

you should all pause for a moment and thank God that you are not privy to the thoughts and voices in my head

"old"......:ranting shame on you!

Mature, experienced is a much better term.

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

No, Boom hair spray is never mentioned either.

No, this thread couldn't evolve into "that" thread because it's not for public knowledge (just the ladies).

Ok, so how do we hijack This and create That?

That was a great thread except the risque title.

http://a1468.g.akamai.net/f/1468/580/1d/pics.drugstore.com/prodimg/76873/100.jpg

[Drama Queen]

typical female going crazy over nuthen....


Sister I am an expert because I am an only boy in a family of 4. I know more about women than any man I know. I have sat in on so many "girl talks" than you can shake a stick at. As much as any man can, I understand how women think.....and my sisters will vouch for this.

Do you think you could give some pointers to NLYP? :begging

[rgcraig]

Ok, so how do we hijack This and create That?

That was a great thread except the risque title.

http://a1468.g.akamai.net/f/1468/580/1d/pics.drugstore.com/prodimg/76873/100.jpg

I'll get with Carp and let him start it, but with a better title.

I really thought it was a good thread and an area that needs to be discussed.

[AmazingGrace]

And the new thread name will be.... the Not Sexy thread... that way it will not offend anyone LOL


Or how about the HAIRSPRAY thread!!! (yea yea I know cheesy but its a thought lol)

[rgcraig]

And the new thread name will be.... the Not Sexy thread... that way it will not offend anyone LOL


Or how about the HAIRSPRAY thread!!! (yea yea I know cheesy but its a thought lol)

That's exactly what I told Carp to name it

[AmazingGrace]

That's exactly what I told Carp to name it



lol:highfive

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

I'll get with Carp and let him start it, but with a better title.

I really thought it was a good thread and an area that needs to be discussed.

Ok, I will pipe down,

[Chewy]

I hope that Carpenter does bring back that thread because I believe pertinent information was posted there.

It is much easier to talk about something like that as an unknown instead of trying to discuss in your SS class.

[1stLady]

:heart Valentine's Day in Alabama !

Kudzu is green,
my dog's name is Blue
And I am so so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
A-flapping in the breeze,
Softer than Blue's
And without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
Which excites me in May.
You ain't got no scales
But I luv you anyway.

You have all yore teeth,
For which I am proud;
I hold my head high
When we're in a crowd.

Still them fellers at work
They all want to know,
What I did to deserve
Such a purty young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
Yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles
And stick 'em in the can.

Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler
Racing through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger
Named Naomi Judd.

When you hold me real tight
Like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete;
Aint nuttin I lack.

Yore complexion, its perfection,
Like the best vinyl sidin',
Despite all the years,
Yore age keeps on hidin'.

And when you get old
Like a 57 Chevy,
Won't put you up on blocks
And let grass grow up heavy.

Me n' you's like a Moon Pie
With a RC cold drank,
We go together
Like skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
For Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
It's romantic that way.

Some men buy fine diamonds
From a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
They explain, suave and couth.

But...I got you a gift,
Without taste or odor,
Better than diamonds...
It's a new trollin' motor !!:kiss

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

To my darling husband,

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.

I am enclosing a picture for you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.

P.S. Your girlfriend called.

Note- Arkansas Plates...
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/138/383043588_3c97eb84c9.jpg?v=0

[JaneEyre]

*****BUMP*****

In Honor of the newly proclaimed "National Bump An Old Thread Day" and Valentine's Day. (I hope there's nothing controversial here. I did not read the entire thread...lol)

[tbpew]

*****BUMP*****

In Honor of the newly proclaimed "National Bump An Old Thread Day" and Valentine's Day. (I hope there's nothing controversial here. I did not read the entire thread...lol)
It certainly does prompt a wake-up call when we get to see a "BOOMM" thread on the top page.

[JaneEyre]

It certainly does prompt a wake-up call when we get to see a "BOOMM" thread on the top page.

What happened to BOOMM? Is he here using another nic?

[RandyWayne]

For this years Valentines we plan on going out to the Melting Pot restaurant in Scottsdale.

[tbpew]

What happened to BOOMM? Is he here using another nic?
I doubt it.

When he attempted to communicate through a surrogate posting his open letter, the little AFF fishbowl experienced a feeding frenzy.

I'm thinking its particularly hard on outspoken, former owners, to just come back and be regular home boys.

[rgcraig]

I love chocolate and flowers.....

[rgcraig]

Oh, wait....this isn't a wish list?

[dizzyde]

For this years Valentines we plan on going out to the Melting Pot restaurant in Scottsdale.

Jealous!

[rgcraig]

Jealous!

Expensive!

[Ron]

I am in a bind & wondering if you could help me out?
This year for Valentines should I get my wife a B&D Cordless Screwdriver, or perhaps a Laser Level?:hmmm

[dizzyde]

Expensive!

You aint kidding!

[rgcraig]

I am in a bind & wondering if you could help me out?
This year for Valentines should I get my wife a B&D Cordless Screwdriver, or perhaps a Laser Level?:hmmm

Both - both she might need them to make your coffin.

[tbpew]

Expensive!

DINK :bemine:bemineloving







:killinme

[Ron]

Both - both she might need them to make your coffin.

On second thought, Roses seem like a better choice!:thumbsup