Ronzo's Broken Road...

[Ronzo]

Can I start my own little blog?

I had meant to do this a few weeks ago, but didn't get to it then... I feel I'm ready now... maybe...

[Ronzo]

I'm moving on with my life and somedays are better than others... today I need his touch more than I have in a couple weeks... and meditating as I sang this song this morning has helped me...

~~


Praise You in This Storm
Casting Crowns

I was sure by now, God, You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus


~~






I'll praise You in this storm, God. You are with me and I am with you. I will bind myself to you as the cords of a rope are bound together as one. I will praise You in this storm.


You are my God and I love you. I thank you for all the blessings that are in my life and all the great things you are doing in my life.

I love you Jesus.

Thank you... for being with me. For not leaving me alone in this. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for not letting me slip... Thank you for holding me up when I didn't think I could take another step... when I didn't feel like going on...

You're my friend. You're my Father. You're my help. You're my comfort. You're my counsellor. You're my strength. You're the one who carries me when I'm weak.

I'm grateful.

Thank you.

[Tina]

uHdcyue0bSw

[Ronzo]

Thanks for the thought, Tina.


I wish I could see it.

The Proxy here at work blocks You Tube

[Tina]

Thanks for the thought, Tina.


I wish I could see it.

The Proxy here at work blocks You Tube

Sorry. :(

It's a great video. It'll be there whenever you want to see it at home.. :)

[rgcraig]

Great idea Ron!

[Ronzo]

Sorry. :(

It's a great video. It'll be there whenever you want to see it at home.. :)
Definitely going to watch it then.

[Ronzo]

Sorry. :(

It's a great video. It'll be there whenever you want to see it at home.. :)
I got to go home early. Got here a little less than an hour ago.

Just watched it.

Good stuff. Might add it to my MySpace

[seguidordejesus]

Thanks for the thought, Tina.


I wish I could see it.

The Proxy here at work blocks You Tube

Ronzo, if I take off the "www" in front of youtube, my work lets it go through. Might work for you, too. I have to click on the title of the embedded player, then go from there.

[mfblume]

Ronzo, what happened? I noted on reymah you remarked similarly, and I have no idea what happened. God bless and strengthen you, whatever it is.

[Ronzo]

Ronzo, what happened? I noted on reymah you remarked similarly, and I have no idea what happened. God bless and strengthen you, whatever it is.
PM sent...

[CC1]

Ronzo,

I have never ventured beyond the main fellowship hall except to the prayer closet area but I saw your name on a blog under this area so I came to check it out.

Sorry you are having a bad day. I am having one to but not near as bad as yours I imagine. I am praying for you daily.

[Ronzo]

Ronzo,

I have never ventured beyond the main fellowship hall except to the prayer closet area but I saw your name on a blog under this area so I came to check it out.

Sorry you are having a bad day. I am having one to but not near as bad as yours I imagine. I am praying for you daily.
No, CC, it was a good day.

A really good day.

The devotional time made it so much better!

[rgcraig]

Praise You in this Storm.....awesome!!!!

[Ronzo]

Stress has a way of weakening your body...


I woke up Tuesday at 3 in the morning to grumblings that cannot be uttered (within my belly) and running to the facilities... I got violently ill to put it 'lightly'. I couldn't even keep water down... my head was pounding... heavy fever...


It was horrible... and I was alone... that was hard for me to deal with. I had to do it all on my own... and I had to take care of myself again when I was sick for the first time in a long time.

I was so sick it took all the energy I had just to drive myself to the doctor's 5 miles away, then to the pharmacy another 3 miles away... and then back home... and back to the doctor for more tests the next day...

I was miserable for two days... I was asleep more than I was awake for two days... I laid down so much my back was giving me fits... I could barely move...

I felt like I was semi human again yesterday but still had a fever and nausea. So I stayed home again so I didn't get my coworkers sick (one has a weakened immune system from her bout with breast cancer 3 years ago and one has a child)...

It was very difficult... I had many mental battles in my weakened state and high fever and I had a very tough time dealing with it alone...


BUT... God brought me through it. I'm doing good today, although the meds make me a little loopy...


God's faithful. He's carrying me and giving me strength to carry on.

I want to give him praise for his goodness... his mercy... and his kindness.

Thank you, Jesus.

[rgcraig]

Yep, the enemy will try to attack when you are weak - so thankful to see you recognized that and are keeping your faith strong, even though it's being tested.

[Ronzo]

My video editing skills are getting a little better...


Something I put together last night as a way of keeping myself occupied. Took one of my favorite "set the mood for worship" songs and threw some royalty free pics I have together to make this...





4gs0jUh5yPA

[Falla39]

My video editing skills are getting a little better...


Something I put together last night as a way of keeping myself occupied. Took one of my favorite "set the mood for worship" songs and threw some royalty free pics I have together to make this...





4gs0jUh5yPA


Bro. Ronzo,

That is awesome!

Blessings,

Falla39

[Tina]

That was awesome Bro Ron...

[Ronzo]

Although I didn't actually take the pics, each one of them represented an emotion that I feel when I let that song really move me... I wanted to bring that across...

I'm a visual person... and visual/written expression is really my best way of communicating...

[CupCake]

Stress has a way of weakening your body...


I woke up Tuesday at 3 in the morning to grumblings that cannot be uttered (within my belly) and running to the facilities... I got violently ill to put it 'lightly'. I couldn't even keep water down... my head was pounding... heavy fever...


It was horrible... and I was alone... that was hard for me to deal with. I had to do it all on my own... and I had to take care of myself again when I was sick for the first time in a long time.

I was so sick it took all the energy I had just to drive myself to the doctor's 5 miles away, then to the pharmacy another 3 miles away... and then back home... and back to the doctor for more tests the next day...

I was miserable for two days... I was asleep more than I was awake for two days... I laid down so much my back was giving me fits... I could barely move...

I felt like I was semi human again yesterday but still had a fever and nausea. So I stayed home again so I didn't get my coworkers sick (one has a weakened immune system from her bout with breast cancer 3 years ago and one has a child)...

It was very difficult... I had many mental battles in my weakened state and high fever and I had a very tough time dealing with it alone...


BUT... God brought me through it. I'm doing good today, although the meds make me a little loopy...


God's faithful. He's carrying me and giving me strength to carry on.

I want to give him praise for his goodness... his mercy... and his kindness.

Thank you, Jesus.

Yeah it kind of the same feeling you get as a kid, when you realize for the first time your parents can't keep from all harms in this life.... Praying for you dude~

[Rhoni]

Stress has a way of weakening your body...


I woke up Tuesday at 3 in the morning to grumblings that cannot be uttered (within my belly) and running to the facilities... I got violently ill to put it 'lightly'. I couldn't even keep water down... my head was pounding... heavy fever...


It was horrible... and I was alone... that was hard for me to deal with. I had to do it all on my own... and I had to take care of myself again when I was sick for the first time in a long time.

I was so sick it took all the energy I had just to drive myself to the doctor's 5 miles away, then to the pharmacy another 3 miles away... and then back home... and back to the doctor for more tests the next day...

I was miserable for two days... I was asleep more than I was awake for two days... I laid down so much my back was giving me fits... I could barely move...

I felt like I was semi human again yesterday but still had a fever and nausea. So I stayed home again so I didn't get my coworkers sick (one has a weakened immune system from her bout with breast cancer 3 years ago and one has a child)...

It was very difficult... I had many mental battles in my weakened state and high fever and I had a very tough time dealing with it alone...


BUT... God brought me through it. I'm doing good today, although the meds make me a little loopy...


God's faithful. He's carrying me and giving me strength to carry on.

I want to give him praise for his goodness... his mercy... and his kindness.

Thank you, Jesus.

Ronzo,
Praying for you. I remember the feeling the first time my legs were hurt [they go out on me in severe pain every now and then] and I had no one to help me. I did call a girl friend who called the guy I was dating. They came over and carried me to the car and into the ER but they left me there. I had to get home alone....I never felt so alone. It was then that God carried me.

Blessings, Rhoni

[Bryan]

I love it... send me the pic at 2:39 on the clock.

Praying for you...


-berk

[Ronzo]

Thanks for prayin'.

I'm in a good place today.



Glad you liked it.

[Ronzo]

Talked to her again today... She ordered something from a catalog and they delivered it here for some reason. I had to call her to find out how she wanted to handle picking it up.


The conversation was stressful and I'm not doing too well right now. Not that there was any conflict in it... rather it was just rough on me emotionally.

She's gotten on with life... and she's happy on her own... and I'm not doing such a great job of it...

Talking with her didn't help me move forward... I need some time with God...

[RevDWW]

Talked to her again today... She ordered something from a catalog and they delivered it here for some reason. I had to call her to find out how she wanted to handle picking it up.


The conversation was stressful and I'm not doing too well right now. Not that there was any conflict in it... rather it was just rough on me emotionally.

She's gotten on with life... and she's happy on her own... and I'm not doing such a great job of it...

Talking with her didn't help me move forward... I need some time with God...

You will get through this with the Lord's help!

Pray'n for you my friend!

[LaGirl]

Talked to her again today... She ordered something from a catalog and they delivered it here for some reason. I had to call her to find out how she wanted to handle picking it up.


The conversation was stressful and I'm not doing too well right now. Not that there was any conflict in it... rather it was just rough on me emotionally.

She's gotten on with life... and she's happy on her own... and I'm not doing such a great job of it...

Talking with her didn't help me move forward... I need some time with God...

praying for you Ronzo. i know you dont want to hear it, but in time you will feel better.

[Ronzo]

http://www.divorcecare.org (http://www.divorcecare.org/)

I'm going to start going to this class begining on Sunday evening.

CLC used to offer this class and they had a good result from it. Some other folks I know have gone through it as well and have good things to say about it.

I need to get out and do this...




http://www.divorcecare.org/dailyemails/preview/ (http://www.divorcecare.org/dailyemails/preview/)


Day 1 - What's Happening?

Divorce is like a tornado—ripping through your life, threatening to destroy everything in its path. The emotional whirlwinds bring fear, confusion, and despair, affecting you, your children, family members, and friends. You will likely wonder Why did this storm hit my life and why does it hurt so much?

Dr. Jim A. Talley says, “The reality is that divorce is the most painful thing you can go through because it impacts so much of your life. There’s no way around or easy way out. And everybody is looking for a painless way out of this whole situation.”

It is easier to clean up the physical damage of a tornado than the emotional damage caused by divorce.

“I hated life,” says Ginny. “I woke up every morning, and I absolutely hated it. I hated the pain that I woke up with and the pain that I went to sleep with.”

You may wish you could get through the pain quicker, but healing is a process, a day-by-day, moment-by-moment process. In order to experience any level of recovery, you must see it through. There are no shortcuts. But take heart, in the coming days and weeks you will see it is possible to heal and to look to the future with hope.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).


~~~~~

I know how this feels... I hate all of this. ALL of it.

Sometimes all I want to do is sleep through the rest of my life, or at least through this process....

I know better... but I still want to.

[mizpeh]

If this class will help you to sort out your feelings and get closer to God. You should do it.

[revrandy]

Ronzo...

I couldn't begin to understand where your at right now....being that I've never travelled there... what I do know is that many folks make it thru and come out victorius regarless of situations.. I think your faith in God is your strength from what I've read and seen... Keep holding on.. You'll make it thru...

I applaud your decision for the class....

[Trouvere]

Brother Ron the depression is horrible at first but it does get better.If not Divorce care then find something that occupies your mind.It always helps me to get outdoors.Its a great stress reliever.If you focus on your problem alot it will
weight you down.There is more to life.It also helps to look around you and
find someone who you can lift up.The bible says God delivered Job when
he prayed for his friends.I always found going over to help some old lady
clean her house did me alot of good.

[rgcraig]

Great choice to attend the class!

You will gain a lot by making this step.......

[trent4]

Ronzo-
I'm glad you are going to do the classes....I have a friend who is taking them and they are helping her.
I'm praying for you.
trent4

[SDG]

Ron ... I'm still thinking of coming over .... I'll call.

[Ronzo]

Ok, I got my butt kicked today.

Went back to working out since enough time has passed since I got sick, and I'm at the tail end of my medicine (anitbiotics).

I switched my gym membership to the local Y, because Lifetime Fitness was much more expensive, and their family membership was WAY too much for my friend Bryke and his family. Bryke goes to the Y and has agreed to be my 'personal trainer' since he used to be heavy into working out and needs to get back in shape himself.

He put me through my paces today... my arms and chest are sore (worked on chest, biceps and triceps today, along with a warm up walk). Worked out for over an hour.

I'm a little sore and a little tired. But I feel good knowing I'm doing something to make myself get healthier again.

We're planning on going again Monday night. I'm actually looking forward to it.


I'm flying solo tonight in setting up the sound equipment for church tomorrow (pick it up from the storage shed, then drive it over to the facility, and set up the equipment, the chairs, etc). Robert and Donna are in Uvalde teaching the Fire on the Altar Seminar. Being as sore as I am, it's going to be rough tonight. I'll manage though.


Thanks for your time and attention. Love y'all. Thanks for being there for me.

[Bryan]

Ok, I got my butt kicked today.

Went back to working out since enough time has passed since I got sick, and I'm at the tail end of my medicine (anitbiotics).

I switched my gym membership to the local Y, because Lifetime Fitness was much more expensive, and their family membership was WAY too much for my friend Bryke and his family. Bryke goes to the Y and has agreed to be my 'personal trainer' since he used to be heavy into working out and needs to get back in shape himself.

He put me through my paces today... my arms and chest are sore (worked on chest, biceps and triceps today, along with a warm up walk). Worked out for over an hour.

I'm a little sore and a little tired. But I feel good knowing I'm doing something to make myself get healthier again.

We're planning on going again Monday night. I'm actually looking forward to it.


I'm flying solo tonight in setting up the sound equipment for church tomorrow (pick it up from the storage shed, then drive it over to the facility, and set up the equipment, the chairs, etc). Robert and Donna are in Uvalde teaching the Fire on the Altar Seminar. Being as sore as I am, it's going to be rough tonight. I'll manage though.


Thanks for your time and attention. Love y'all. Thanks for being there for me.

I'm thinking of starting a small workout routine. I no longer have my weight set, and I am not a public kinda guy. :)
So, I am thinking of doing pushups and cardio... *shrugs*

[J-Roc]

Excellent workout, Bro....keep up the great work! :rooting:rooting :rooting

[Ronzo]

Just got a call from "THE PUNISHER" (my buddy Bryke).

He's going to call me back in a little while to let me know if I get to be tortured some more tonight. He's got some scheduling things to work through. Not sure if he can tonight or not yet.
I'm sorta looking forward to it...

My chest and biceps are so sore that I could barely put my deoderant on this morning (although I did accomplish the task with some painful effort involved - I'm not stinking!)

[Ronzo]

Rescheduled for Wednesday.

[Trouvere]

Rescheduled for Wednesday.

good cause the deodorant issue was way too funny:killinme

[J-Roc]

Just got a call from "THE PUNISHER" (my buddy Bryke).

He's going to call me back in a little while to let me know if I get to be tortured some more tonight. He's got some scheduling things to work through. Not sure if he can tonight or not yet.
I'm sorta looking forward to it...

My chest and biceps are so sore that I could barely put my deoderant on this morning (although I did accomplish the task with some painful effort involved - I'm not stinking!)



NO PAIN, NO GAIN.....they say.

[Ronzo]

I'm going to go for a walk tonight instead

[Ronzo]

NO PAIN, NO GAIN.....they say."They" need to get clocked in the noggin. :club

[Ronzo]

Worked out again last night.

Worked more on just the movements and kept the weights low. I'm barely sore... almost no soreness at all. While I'm not fond of feeling half dead for days, I'm not exactly ok with this either.

We're trying to find a good balance between getting my butt kicked then being sore for 4 days, and no impact whatsoever. I'm sure it'll take a little while since it's been so long since I was really active.

Going back Saturday sometime. This time we'll step it a little with the weights.

I thank God for Bryke. I couldn't do this on my own yet...

[Trouvere]

Thank you Jesus.You are getting back out into life.Great!

[Ronzo]

Thank you Jesus.You are getting back out into life.Great!
Bit by bit, yes.

I can't curl up and die.

I'm growing used to being alone again... and I'm dealing with the fact that there is no way that reconciliation is going to happen. This is causing me to become more single minded in getting on with my life.

She's not coming back.

I must move forward. I must live. I must continue without her.

I'm being strengthened and God is doing it.




....and now is as good of a time as any to get back into shape again.

It'll probably take a year or more... maybe two... to get to where I want to be, but I'm going to do this in a healthy way and without surgery.

[sola gratia]

I admire you Bro..... You're doing great

[Ronzo]

I've lost 5 pounds in two weeks... that's with a semi-full belly. (I ate before I worked out tonight) Not bad for not being exactly as faithful to the regimine as I shoud be.

I'm going to weigh myself in the morning with an empty belly and see if it makes any difference.



Worked out for an hour... added some ab work in tonight, but honestly, I think I"m going to keep the ab work for homework. Why? I was embarrassed because after doing my leg lifts while lying flat on the ground, I had a really, really hard time getting up off the floor.

I got dizzy from the head rush and nearly fell over on the way up... Yeah, we'll keep those for homework for awhile..

[Bryan]

I gained 4 lbs last night..

[J-Roc]

Bit by bit, yes.

I can't curl up and die.

I'm growing used to being alone again... and I'm dealing with the fact that there is no way that reconciliation is going to happen. This is causing me to become more single minded in getting on with my life.

She's not coming back.

I must move forward. I must live. I must continue without her.

I'm being strengthened and God is doing it.




....and now is as good of a time as any to get back into shape again.

It'll probably take a year or more... maybe two... to get to where I want to be, but I'm going to do this in a healthy way and without surgery.


This is inspiring, dude! You're a rock star!

[J-Roc]

I gained 4 lbs last night..

I lost 3 pounds last week....

[Ronzo]

I gained 4 lbs last night..
Mmmm.... chili dogs.... doritos.... big gulps.... *drool*


http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c136/Christing/I%20need%20more/RastaWoman/homer-drool.jpg

[rgcraig]

I've lost 5 - now I need a trainer to help me tone up and lose some more!

[J-Roc]

I've lost 5 pounds in two weeks... that's with a semi-full belly. (I ate before I worked out tonight) Not bad for not being exactly as faithful to the regimine as I shoud be.

I'm going to weigh myself in the morning with an empty belly and see if it makes any difference.



Worked out for an hour... added some ab work in tonight, but honestly, I think I"m going to keep the ab work for homework. Why? I was embarrassed because after doing my leg lifts while lying flat on the ground, I had a really, really hard time getting up off the floor.

I got dizzy from the head rush and nearly fell over on the way up... Yeah, we'll keep those for homework for awhile..


Please keep sharing these progress reports....not only inspiring but it's beginning to get my competitive juices flowing...care for a friendly wager? :lol

[Ronzo]

Please keep sharing these progress reports....not only inspiring but it's beginning to get my competitive juices flowing...care for a friendly wager? :lol
Not really no... I'm not competitive. Competition does nothing for me.

I'm doing this for me. Not as a competition.

[Bryan]

Mmmm.... chili dogs.... doritos.... big gulps.... *drool*


http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c136/Christing/I%20need%20more/RastaWoman/homer-drool.jpg

INsult to injury... was on the phone today and the gal says "You have a Texas accent..."

I was so upset, I rent my garments :macho

[Ronzo]

INsult to injury... was on the phone today and the gal says "You have a Texas accent..."

I was so upset, I rent my garments :macho
Koowd be wois, bro... shee koowda sait'u haff a Nu Yawhk aksent and dat u sount layk J-rawk and dat Danny Alushseeah guy ova'deeah

[Ronzo]

Ugh............... I'm a year older today... I feel 10 years older... :IAM

[Bryan]

Ugh............... I'm a year older today... I feel 10 years older... :IAM

Happy Birthday, grandpa :lol

[J-Roc]

Not really no... I'm not competitive. Competition does nothing for me.

I'm doing this for me. Not as a competition.



Well here I was 40 pounds ago about 2 years ago.... :sad


Went on a one week cruise to the Bahamas with my wife last spring (2006) and gained around 20 pounds and went down hill from there... :sad


http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u6/Mstrshalom/JeffinDC.jpg

[Ronzo]

I gotta tell ya... I am really beginning to love the feeling after I work out...

I am really beginning to feel a lot better... this is doing a great deal for me therapeutically...

[Pressing-On]

I gotta tell ya... I am really beginning to love the feeling after I work out...

I am really beginning to feel a lot better... this is doing a great deal for me therapeutically...
I'm glad for you Ron!

[rgcraig]

I gotta tell ya... I am really beginning to love the feeling after I work out...

I am really beginning to feel a lot better... this is doing a great deal for me therapeutically...

I've heard it's a natural anti-depressant because the endorphines kick in and causes you to feel happy.

Just got to get to the point where I work out enough to feel that!

Sounds like you've gotten there Ron - that's great!

[Ronzo]

I've heard it's a natural anti-depressant because the endorphines kick in and causes you to feel happy.

Just got to get to the point where I work out enough to feel that!

Sounds like you've gotten there Ron - that's great!


Yeah, I'm actually at the point where I WANT to do it...


I've begun to go to the small gym at my apartment complex to use the treadmill and the bike for about a half hour every night on my off nights of working out.
It's making a tremendous difference...

If it wasn't so stinking hot and humid here I'd go for a walk at night... If I did walk out in those conditions, I'd overheat. I really don't need that.

Anyway, I feel so stupid for not doing this sooner... Oh well. Can't cry over spilled milk right?

Pick yourself up and move on. At least I'm making positive changes NOW!

[HeavenlyOne]

I'm proud of you, Ron.

[Ronzo]

Last night, I left the "I won't bother you anymore" voicemail for mom-in-law.

Have left a couple messages over the past few weeks for her just trying to say hi and see how they are... and to let them know I'm ok.

No return calls.

I'm guessing that they probably feel like they're being put in the middle by talking to me. I suppose I can understand that.

I told her I was not trying to make them feel like that and if I did cause them to feel that way... I was extremely sorry.

I let them know I still love them and am praying for them... and that I won't call them anymore because I don't want to be a nuisance.


If this is the way it is, I'm hurt a little... because she told me that I was still her son regardless of how this turns out.

I would have just expected a return call to tell me what they're feeling...






Haven't heard from Bryke in two weeks too... no return calls...

I'm concerned about that as well.




I had a breakthrough last night... I was finally able to get past the hurt, or to wade through it enough... however you look at it... And actually pray sincerely for my estranged wife.

I cried the whole time I prayed for her... so that's why I said maybe I was just able to wade through the hurt instead of truly getting past it.

It was a milestone for me. I think I'm going to live through this after all...

[Pressing-On]

Last night, I left the "I won't bother you anymore" voicemail for mom-in-law.

Have left a couple messages over the past few weeks for her just trying to say hi and see how they are... and to let them know I'm ok.

No return calls.

I'm guessing that they probably feel like they're being put in the middle by talking to me. I suppose I can understand that.

I told her I was not trying to make them feel like that and if I did cause them to feel that way... I was extremely sorry.

I let them know I still love them and am praying for them... and that I won't call them anymore because I don't want to be a nuisance.


If this is the way it is, I'm hurt a little... because she told me that I was still her son regardless of how this turns out.

I would have just expected a return call to tell me what they're feeling...






Haven't heard from Bryke in two weeks too... no return calls...

I'm concerned about that as well.




I had a breakthrough last night... I was finally able to get past the hurt, or to wade through it enough... however you look at it... And actually pray sincerely for my estranged wife.

I cried the whole time I prayed for her... so that's why I said maybe I was just able to wade through the hurt instead of truly getting past it.

It was a milestone for me. I think I'm going to live through this after all...
Ron,
I'm sure it's hard for your in-laws to talk with you. It hurts terribly. I don't know how I could tell our SIL goodbye. He feels like my own son! It would be easier to not talk at all than to feel the pain after hanging up.

One of my sisters divorced her husband years ago. I happened to be at her house when he came by for something. It broke my heart because I loved him too! He and I are the same age and went to school together. It's just hard, but you are seeing that time heals all things.

I'm glad you got to that place in prayer! It does show you are mending in a wonderful healthy way!

You are still in my prayers!

[Felicity]

You'll have milestones like this along the way. It takes time.

[Rico]

Last night, I left the "I won't bother you anymore" voicemail for mom-in-law.

Have left a couple messages over the past few weeks for her just trying to say hi and see how they are... and to let them know I'm ok.

No return calls.

I'm guessing that they probably feel like they're being put in the middle by talking to me. I suppose I can understand that.

I told her I was not trying to make them feel like that and if I did cause them to feel that way... I was extremely sorry.

I let them know I still love them and am praying for them... and that I won't call them anymore because I don't want to be a nuisance.


If this is the way it is, I'm hurt a little... because she told me that I was still her son regardless of how this turns out.

I would have just expected a return call to tell me what they're feeling...






Haven't heard from Bryke in two weeks too... no return calls...

I'm concerned about that as well.




I had a breakthrough last night... I was finally able to get past the hurt, or to wade through it enough... however you look at it... And actually pray sincerely for my estranged wife.

I cried the whole time I prayed for her... so that's why I said maybe I was just able to wade through the hurt instead of truly getting past it.

It was a milestone for me. I think I'm going to live through this after all...


Brother, you are gonna make it.

[revrandy]

Brother, you are gonna make it.

Whether it's a pebble, a rock, or stepping stone, take it one Milestone at a time...

[Felicity]

Takes Time

It takes a little time sometimes
To get your feet back on the ground
It takes a little time sometimes
To get the titanic turned back around
It takes a little time sometimes
But baby you're not going down
It takes more than you've got right now
Give it time

Whats this walking thru my door
I know Ive seen the look before
Sometimes in faces on the street
Sometimes in the mirror looking back at me
You cant fix this pain with money
You cant rush a weary soul
You cant sweep it under the rug, now honey
It dont take a lot to know

(chorus)

Now it may not be over by morning
But rome wasnt built in a day
You can name this thing a thousand times
But it wont make it go away
Let me put my arms around you
And hold you while you weep
Weve been talking and talking
Im sick of this talk
And its nothing that wont keep

(chorus)

No you cant fix this pain with money
You cant rush a weary soul
You cant sweep it under the rug now honey
It dont take a lot to know

(chorus)

[Trouvere]

Things will get better.Hang in there.

[Ronzo]

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement

[Ronzo]

Well... last week, I e-mailed her to see if she was planning on filing any time soon, as I'm really looking forward to getting some closure and moving on with my life.

She replied that she was planning on doing it Friday (I e-mailed her Wednesday).

I sent her a note Monday asking her if she had done it or not. She replied yesterday morning saying she was leaving early to do it that day.

I got an e-mail this morning stating that it's dropped in the mail as of this morning.

In a few short weeks, I will be divorced.

I can't believe I'm even typing that... It seems so surreal to me. Four years and four and a half months ago, I had thought I would never have to say that. Ever. My beautiful blushing bride beamed with radiance as she smiled through the happy tears and said "I do".

How does this type of thing happen? What causes it? How does one person simply give up like that on a relationship? Like it was worth nothing... it meant nothing.

Maybe that's not how it happened, but right now, it feels like that's the way it went down.

In about two months from now, maybe less, I'll be divorced... nope. Still doesn't register. Still doesn't make sense. Still hurts... kills me... stabs me in the heart repeatedly...

Like it never even happened?

[Trouvere]

I'm sorry for your loss Brother.Words cannot help when a person is bleeding
but I know Jesus will help you.He helped me when all of my dreams were
flushed down the drain.

[sola gratia]

Well... last week, I e-mailed her to see if she was planning on filing any time soon, as I'm really looking forward to getting some closure and moving on with my life.

She replied that she was planning on doing it Friday (I e-mailed her Wednesday).

I sent her a note Monday asking her if she had done it or not. She replied yesterday morning saying she was leaving early to do it that day.

I got an e-mail this morning stating that it's dropped in the mail as of this morning.

In a few short weeks, I will be divorced.

I can't believe I'm even typing that... It seems so surreal to me. Four years and four and a half months ago, I had thought I would never have to say that. Ever. My beautiful blushing bride beamed with radiance as she smiled through the happy tears and said "I do".

How does this type of thing happen? What causes it? How does one person simply give up like that on a relationship? Like it was worth nothing... it meant nothing.

Maybe that's not how it happened, but right now, it feels like that's the way it went down.

In about two months from now, maybe less, I'll be divorced... nope. Still doesn't register. Still doesn't make sense. Still hurts... kills me... stabs me in the heart repeatedly...

Like it never even happened?

I am so sorry pal. I ache for you. I know it hurts… I know it hurts so deeply and badly… I really do. Light still shines Ronzo, and it will get better….

Life will be fun again, beautiful again… Hang on

[revrandy]

Life is NOT fair at times... but God is Just...

[RevDWW]

God created the day, evening and morning.......the sun will rise again my friend.

Hold onto the Lord's promise that He'll never leave nor fosake you....no matter who else will.......


Love Yah!

[jwharv]

Praying for you Bro........................

[Ronzo]

'It' came today... *sigh*

I wept a little as I read through it. Just a little. I expected to have more emotion when it finally did arrive...

Maybe I'm just a little numb, or maybe I've finally accepted the reality of the situation and prepared myself for it.

Either way... it's nearly over... and there's not a thing I can do about it.



Ironically, a friend's official wedding invitation came in the mail with it. About the time he begins his new life with his very lovely bride, I'll be finalizing the end of my life with my lovely bride...

May they be blessed beyond measure, Lord, and may they never ever have to experience what I'm going through. Keep them ekhad, Lord. Keep them ekhad.

[Felicity]

'It' came today... *sigh*

I wept a little as I read through it. Just a little. I expected to have more emotion when it finally did arrive...

Maybe I'm just a little numb, or maybe I've finally accepted the reality of the situaiton and prepared myself for it.

Either way... it's nearly over... and there's not a thing I can do about it.



Ironically, a friend's official wedding invitation came in the mail with it. About the time he begins his new life with his very lovely bride, I'll be finalizing the end of my life with my lovely bride...

May they be blessed beyond mesaure, Lord, and may they never ever have to experience what I'm going through. Keep them ekhad, Lord. Keep them ekhad.Step by step bro ..... day by day ......

God is faithful!

[RevDWW]

Hang on my brother. Better days are a coming. Time will heal the wounds, and may Jesus make you whole!

[mizpeh]

Let this sadness and heartache draw you closer to Jesus. Pour your heart out to Him because He cares for you.

Though it's darkness all around you, trust in Him, you will find there is a large place of light ahead and Jesus will lead you there.

[rgcraig]

:friend

[Trouvere]

'It' came today... *sigh*

I wept a little as I read through it. Just a little. I expected to have more emotion when it finally did arrive...

Maybe I'm just a little numb, or maybe I've finally accepted the reality of the situation and prepared myself for it.

Either way... it's nearly over... and there's not a thing I can do about it.



Ironically, a friend's official wedding invitation came in the mail with it. About the time he begins his new life with his very lovely bride, I'll be finalizing the end of my life with my lovely bride...

May they be blessed beyond measure, Lord, and may they never ever have to experience what I'm going through. Keep them ekhad, Lord. Keep them ekhad.

now you know why God hates divorce.Its because He loves us.Its not a nice
thing to go through but as the song that the title of your blog says
They were all Northern stars..........leading to where you were.
Hang on there is a better day for you.

[Ronzo]

I've always known why God hates divorce, sis.

This situation has not been a new revelation for me in that respect.

[J-Roc]

hey, bro...can you translate the word "ekhad" for me....tks.

[mizpeh]

hey, bro...can you translate the word "ekhad" for me....tks.

Do you recognize it better as 'echad' in Deuteronomy 6:4?

[J-Roc]

Do you recognize it better as 'echad' in Deuteronomy 6:4?


ahh...thanks, Mizpeh! :poloroid

[Ronzo]

Do you recognize it better as 'echad' in Deuteronomy 6:4?


We use the spelling "ekhad" because so many people see "echad" and say "eh-CHAD" as in 'hanging CHADS' from the 2000 election, instead of the the 'clearing the throat' sound it's supposed to be.

[mizpeh]

We use the spelling "ekhad" because so many people see "echad" and say "eh-CHAD" as in 'hanging CHADS' from the 2000 election, instead of the the 'clearing the throat' sound it's supposed to be.

Are you studying Hebrew?

[Ronzo]

Are you studying Hebrew?
Yes, I'm studying Hebrew & also Middle Eastern History.

[Ronzo]

Just got the documents notarized. We have a free notary service here at work.

[rgcraig]

Just got the documents notarized. We have a free notary service here at work.

It will get better - - in a couple of years those documents will be in a boxed marked "storage."

Just touched my box while moving last week.

[Ronzo]

I put them in the mail this morning.




I guess that's all I really want to say about that right now...

[Ronzo]

Just going over my finances...

I don't have enough to cover all the expenses I have each month and now it's time to cut things...

I've dropped my cell bill down to the next lowest level.

Gonna have to eliminate the gym... $30 a month can go a long way... I'll use the apartment gym and I'll have to motivate myself from now on...

There are a few other things I'm going to have to eliminate as well.

[Esther]

I put them in the mail this morning.




I guess that's all I really want to say about that right now...

Good luck to you Ronzo!

[mizpeh]

Just going over my finances...

I don't have enough to cover all the expenses I have each month and now it's time to cut things...

I've dropped my cell bill down to the next lowest level.

Gonna have to eliminate the gym... $30 a month can go a long way... I'll use the apartment gym and I'll have to motivate myself from now on...

There are a few other things I'm going to have to eliminate as well.

Ronzo,

Your situation will get better. The Lord will deliver you out of all of your troubles. Stay faithful.

When my marriage broke up and I had to leave....I had no where to go with three small children. I didn't have a college degree. There wasn't much from our marriage I could take because it had been spent wastefully by my husband. I don't have rich relatives and my parents were divorced. Within a year I had to move out from those we had moved in with into public housing. God made a way through all the struggles. He never failed me. Somehow my car kept running. He gave me grace to remain faithful even on welfare. He is ever merciful and kind. I went back to school and I've been working as a registered nurse for the last 12 years. I came through the hard times with His help. It hasn't been easy as a single mom. If it had not been for the Lord on my side, I'm not sure how I would have survived with the peace of mind I have. Going through the fire and flood isn't fun but I've learned to trust and wait on Him. Jesus will be with you and help you as well. Hang in there and if you can, count it all joy.

[MrsBOOMM]

Ronzo,

Your situation will get better. The Lord will deliver you out of all of your troubles. Stay faithful.

When my marriage broke up and I had to leave....I had no where to go with three small children. I didn't have a college degree. There wasn't much from our marriage I could take because it had been spent wastefully by my husband. I don't have rich relatives and my parents were divorced. Within a year I had to move out from those we had moved in with into public housing. God made a way through all the struggles. He never failed me. Somehow my car kept running. He gave me grace to remain faithful even on welfare. He is ever merciful and kind. I went back to school and I've been working as a registered nurse for the last 12 years. I came through the hard times with His help. It hasn't been easy as a single mom. If it had not been for the Lord on my side, I'm not sure how I would have survived with the peace of mind I have. Going through the fire and flood isn't fun but I've learned to trust and wait on Him. Jesus will be with you and help you as well. Hang in there and if you can, count it all joy.
Beautiful testimony! God is faithful!

[Pressing-On]

Just going over my finances...

I don't have enough to cover all the expenses I have each month and now it's time to cut things...

I've dropped my cell bill down to the next lowest level.

Gonna have to eliminate the gym... $30 a month can go a long way... I'll use the apartment gym and I'll have to motivate myself from now on...

There are a few other things I'm going to have to eliminate as well.
Ron,
You are reminding me of the time we lived in Austin and everythang (lol) was falling apart. Church split, my husband's job, my job and a baby on the way!

I was on William Cannon and I saw a guy selling flowers. You know how they do? lol

The thought came to me, "Well, I've been in sales. If it gets much worse I could sell flowers."

The Lord spoke to me right then - "I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread." He emphasized "begging".

I've never had to work and we are blessed today. It's going to happen!

Prayin' for ya!!!! But, like this thread you started - It's your road. We can pray and care about you, but we can't walk the day to day. It's your road.

You're gonna make, just as long as you and Jesus stay friends! :musicnotes I like that song, especially when Murell Ewing sings it.

[Ronzo]

O Gracious admins, please feel free to delete this thread and all of my posts...

C-ya... I'm done here.


I think I've had enough of the junk...

You banned Dan for using a word in PROPER context that the Bible uses, IN PROPER context.



Goodbye cruel world... :tissue:sad

[mizpeh]

O Gracious admins, please feel free to delete this thread and all of my posts...

C-ya... I'm done here.


I think I've had enough of the junk...

You banned Dan for using a word in PROPER context that the Bible uses, IN PROPER context.



Goodbye cruel world... :tissue:sad

Dan will be back.

[J-Roc]

Dan will be back.

with a vengeance and dropping in like gangbustas... :killinme

[Darcie]

O Gracious admins, please feel free to delete this thread and all of my posts...

C-ya... I'm done here.


I think I've had enough of the junk...

You banned Dan for using a word in PROPER context that the Bible uses, IN PROPER context.



Goodbye cruel world... :tissue:sad


:bump:bump:bump

[rgcraig]

with a vengeance and dropping in like gangbustas... :killinme

Well, he shouldn't return with a vengeance, but I believe he'll be fine.

[Lost]

O Gracious admins, please feel free to delete this thread and all of my posts...

C-ya... I'm done here.

I think I've had enough of the junk...

You banned Dan for using a word in PROPER context that the Bible uses, IN PROPER context.

Goodbye cruel world... :tissue:sad

I assume that his banning was warranted. Let me assure you, this too shall pass. :hypercoffee

[Ronzo]

Well...

Just popping in to let those of you who are concerned know that the divorce is now final.

The judge signed the paperwork last Monday and I got a notice from the County Clerk that the decree is on file in the records.

I can finally move on with my life... this chapter is closed, and as the song says, The rest is still unwritten.

I'm looking forward to what God has in store for me in the future.


If anyone is interested in corresponding, feel free to e-mail me at rlennex at austin.rr.com


Later. :winkgrin

[HeavenlyOne]

Well...

Just popping in to let those of you who are concerned know that the divorce is now final.

The judge signed the paperwork last Monday and I got a notice from the County Clerk that the decree is on file in the records.

I can finally move on with my life... this chapter is closed, and as the song says, The rest is still unwritten.

I'm looking forward to what God has in store for me in the future.


If anyone is interested in corresponding, feel free to e-mail me at rlennex at austin.rr.com


Later. :winkgrin

Ron, I've been wondering how you've been doing. I know that while you make it sound easy above, that it's really not, but you will get through this and 'get on with your life'. I know God is in control and that you have been and will continue seeking Him and His will in your life.

I love you bunches, my friend. You mean a lot to me.

[ILG]

Well...

Just popping in to let those of you who are concerned know that the divorce is now final.

The judge signed the paperwork last Monday and I got a notice from the County Clerk that the decree is on file in the records.

I can finally move on with my life... this chapter is closed, and as the song says, The rest is still unwritten.

I'm looking forward to what God has in store for me in the future.


If anyone is interested in corresponding, feel free to e-mail me at rlennex at austin.rr.com


Later. :winkgrin

Ouch, Ron. I pray for the best for your future.

[Ronzo]

I'm so thankful for renewal...

God has carried me faithfully throughout this process. No, it wasn't easy to live through, but He was with me. Cheek to cheek. When I cried (which I did an awful lot during this time), my tears fell down His cheek as they fell down mine.

He's good. And He truly is "The Comforter" and "The Counsellor".

[nicolejoy]

Hey Ron,

I've been thinking of you!!

[Ronzo]

Hey Ron,

I've been thinking of you!!
Long time no talk.

Thanks for the thoughts.

[Ronzo]

I think I can officially say that I'm through most of the storm of divorce...

That's not to say there will be no further storms ahead, but as far as the emotional rollercoaster, I think I'm at the end of this ride. I have the closure I needed... this chapter of my life is closed.

Time for me to rebuild my life and move on as a WHOLE person, who is single, in God. He completes me. He fills in the gaps of my life where I'm weak or fall short. He is my better half.

"I feel revived again. I am alive again"

The depression is receeding day by day.

I'm thankful to all of you who prayed for me... who encouraged me... who befriended me... Thank you.

I'm going to end my posting updates in this thread.

I have a 'real' blog now... If you're interested, you can visit it by clicking this link:

http://theliquidcell.com/fireproof/


Thanks AFF for giving me a place to express my thoughts and feelings.

[HeavenlyOne]

Ron, you are a terrific person. I wish I were half the person you are.

[Ronzo]

Ron, you are a terrific person. I wish I were half the person you are.
We're equals, sis. We're both on the journey, following Him. We're covered.

[rgcraig]

Too cool Ron!

"I am live again"......I know exactly what you are saying and Praise God!!!