Is this true about Canada? (Joke)

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

All Time Dumbest Questions Asked By Banff Park Tourists

Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information kiosks
manned by Parks Canada staff!

1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk
Crossing" signs?

2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?

3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?"
Park Information Staff: "'Elk.'"
Tourist: "Oh."

4. Are the bears with collars tame?

5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?

6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic
table, or should I store it in my tent?

7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?

8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today -- could you
tell me what it was?

9. Are there birds in Canada?

10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?

11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?

12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?

13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is
that Saskatchewan?

14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?

15. Which is the way to the Columbia Rice fields?

16. How far is Banff from Canada?

17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?

18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?

19. When we enter B.C., do we have to convert our money to
British pounds?

20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one,
don't they?

21. Are there phones in Banff?

22. So it's eight kilometers away... is that in miles?

23. We're on the decibel system, you know.

24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??

25. Is that two kilometers by foot or by car?

26. Don't you Canadians know anything?

27. Where do you put the animals at night?

28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?"
Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint
the bottom."
Tourist: "Oh!"

[Broken]

Is this suppose to be joke?

Just wondering?

For sure it is not true about Canada

[Ron]

All Time Dumbest Questions Asked By Banff Park Tourists

Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information kiosks
manned by Parks Canada staff!

1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk
Crossing" signs?

2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?

3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?"
Park Information Staff: "'Elk.'"
Tourist: "Oh."

4. Are the bears with collars tame?

5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?

6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic
table, or should I store it in my tent?

7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?

8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today -- could you
tell me what it was?

9. Are there birds in Canada?

10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?

11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?

12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?

13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is
that Saskatchewan?

14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?

15. Which is the way to the Columbia Rice fields?

16. How far is Banff from Canada?

17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?

18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?

19. When we enter B.C., do we have to convert our money to
British pounds?


20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one,
don't they?

21. Are there phones in Banff?

22. So it's eight kilometers away... is that in miles?

23. We're on the decibel system, you know.

24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??

25. Is that two kilometers by foot or by car?

26. Don't you Canadians know anything?

27. Where do you put the animals at night?

28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?"
Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint
the bottom."
Tourist: "Oh!"

Actually it is true (comments heard by Parks Staff) the funny thing is-it's tourists saying them!

Yes, Americans are our biggest group of tourists!!:hypercoffee

[Truly Blessed]

These are certainly the typical questions that one would expect from an American tourist! :)

[TRIPLE E]

Don't you just love it when an American says they have a friend in Toronta and they wonder if you might know them.lol

[D&J]

Don't you just love it when an American says they have a friend in Toronta and they wonder if you might know them.lol

I LOVE it!!

Had it happen numbers of times at General Conference

[Monkeyman]

Do you live in igloos is another one! Or, what state do you live in???!!!!

[Ronzo]

Don't you just love it when an American says they have a friend in Toronta and they wonder if you might know them.lol
Whenever I say I live in Austin, Americans ask me if I know so-and-so too... they also ask me that when I say I work for my employer... "Oh, my cousin's sister-in-law's uncle works there. You know him?"

:Nhl_check

[Thumper]

Don't you just love it when an American says they have a friend in Toronta and they wonder if you might know them.lol

When faced with this question myself I usually just respond with the question "Do you know my friend Elmer from Paducah, KY"

:)

[Pressing-On]

Actually it is true (comments heard by Parks Staff) the funny thing is-it's tourists saying them!

Yes, Americans are our biggest group of tourists!!:hypercoffee

:club

[Felicity]

I always thought it was pretty funny when our State side neighbors would put Hong Kong in Japan. :heeheehee

[Ron]

:club

Did I hit a nerve?:hypercoffee

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

CITIZENSHIP TEST FLUMMOXES CANADIANS

By Mark Kennedy
Southam News
as in The Daily News (Halifax), November 12, 1997

OTTAWA - Put down this page for a moment, pretend you're at a hockey game. Rise to your feet for the national anthem and sing.

If you can get through the whole song, consider yourself a patriot.

If you can't even remember the first two lines, you're not alone. A new survey has found one-third of Canadians can't recall even the seven words that begin the anthem.

It gets worse.

The survey, marking the 50th anniversary of the Citizenship Act, was designed by an expert panel to resemble the kind of exam immigrants must pass to become a Canadian citizen. Conducted Oct. 28 to Nov. 4 by the Angus Reid Group, the survey tested more than 1,350 Canadian adults on civics and history.

Overall, 45 per cent flunked the test. A pass mark was at least 12 correct answers.

The Dominion Institute, formed earlier this year to foster awareness of the links between history, civil traditions and Canadian identity, sponsored the survey.

Institute director Rudyard Griffiths said Canada needs an informed public to debate current issues ranging from economic management to national unity.

"The engine of any successful democracy is an active and informed citizenry. And I think these survey findings show that our democratic culture here in Canada is firing on anything but all cylinders."

Consider, again, the national anthem. Ninety-five per cent could name the title, but only 63 per cent could correctly remember the first two lines. In an intriguing twist, Quebecers fared better than other Canadians with 82 per cent successfully reciting the lines compared with only 56 per cent of the Canadians outside Quebec.

Move over the the geography class. Only 65 per cent of Canadians can name the three oceans bordering our country.

On history, the results are mixed. Eighty-seven per cent knew the main trade controlled by the Hudson Bay Company.

But only 48 per cent could name the event when the first provinces joined to form Canada. Think about it. It's a one-word answer.

On politics, Canadian know the big names - 93 per cent could name the current prime minister, and 72 per cent named four of the five parties in the House of Commons.

But what do you call a law before it's passed by the federal Parliment? Only 55 per cent knew the answer.

As well, 57 per cent think the prime minister is Canada's head of state. He's not.

Which part of the Constitution legally protects the basic "rights and freedoms" of all Canadians? Despite the clue, one in three failed to clue in.

Griffiths, whose institute is funded by the Donner Canadian Foundation, says the survey proves the need for a national framework that sets out, grade by grade, what kinds of civics information should be taught in school.

The Questions

1. Name three requirements that a person must meet in order to vote in a federal election.

2. Name three responsibilities that Canadian citizens hold.

3. What was the main trade controlled by the Hudson Bay Company?

4. When the first provinces joined to form Canada, what with the event called?

5. Which four provinces joined together in Confederation?

6. What is the part of the Constitution which legally protects the basic rights and freedoms of all Canadians?

7. Name four rights and/or freedoms protected by the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms?

8. Which province has the most bilingual Canadians?

9. What song is Canada's national anthem?

10. And can you site the first two lines of the anthem?

11. What three oceans border Canada?

12. How many provinces and territories are there in Canada?

13. Name four of the five Great Lakes?

14. Which province in Canada is the smallest in land size?

15. What country is Canada's largest trading partner?

16. Who is Canada's head of state?

17. What are the three levels of government called in Canada?

18. Name four of the federal political parties represented in the House of Commons.

19. What is the name of the prime minister of Canada?

20. In the federal Parliment, what is a law called before it is passed?

21. Which political party is in power in your province or territory?

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

Answers to Canadian Citizenship Quiz (http://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com/showthread.php?t=1413)

Press CTRL to open in new window and compare your answers.

(be fair and read the questions FIRST)

[tbpew]

Actually it is true (comments heard by Parks Staff) the funny thing is-it's tourists saying them!

Yes, Americans are our biggest group of tourists!!:hypercoffee

You know, I'm guessing when Canada's economy is 13 times greater than the "folks in the states", we'll get a lot more of the answers right (except maybe the metric system stuff).

Hey, any of you folks with a bloodline that streches back to Great Britian (sorry Quebec) know how to get your quarts to dry and once dried, how many are in a bushel?

Come on, make your constitutional monarch proud!:Nhl_check

(Note: all this is TIC, ever since BQ tourney's in the SRBQ NE Extravaganza, I have come to really appreciate getting to know my brothers and sisters to the north.....and besides all that....my daughter and I LOVE Anne of Green Gables...how's that for proof of goodwill!

[Felicity]

American Yankees! :rolleyes: Here ya go......



Two mouthfuls are a jigger;


two jiggers are a jack;


two jacks are a jill;


two jills are a cup;


two cups are a pint;


two pints are a quart;


two quarts are a pottle;


two pottles are gallon;


two gallons are a pail;


two pails are a peck;


two pecks are a bushel;


two bushels are a strike;


two strikes are a coomb;


two coombs are a cask;


two casks are a barrel;


two barrels are a hogshead;


two hoghead are a pipe;


and two pipes are a tun.

Got that? ;) :D

[Barb]

American Yankees! :rolleyes: Here ya go......



Two mouthfuls are a jigger;


two jiggers are a jack;


two jacks are a jill;


two jills are a cup;


two cups are a pint;


two pints are a quart;


two quarts are a pottle;


two pottles are gallon;


two gallons are a pail;


two pails are a peck;


two pecks are a bushel;


two bushels are a strike;


two strikes are a coomb;


two coombs are a cask;


two casks are a barrel;


two barrels are a hogshead;


two hoghead are a pipe;


and two pipes are a tun.

Got that? ;) :DUmmm...nope!! Can you repeat that please?! :sos

[tbpew]

American Yankees! :rolleyes: Here ya go......



Two mouthfuls are a jigger;


two jiggers are a jack;


two jacks are a jill;


two jills are a cup;


two cups are a pint;


two pints are a quart;


two quarts are a pottle;


two pottles are gallon;


two gallons are a pail;


two pails are a peck;


two pecks are a bushel;


two bushels are a strike;


two strikes are a coomb;


two coombs are a cask;


two casks are a barrel;


two barrels are a hogshead;


two hoghead are a pipe;


and two pipes are a tun.

Got that? ;) :D
yo felisilly,
you better be telling me straight 'cause I can wait to have two jacks and then demand a fair exchange for one jill.

I had no idea that a hogshead was only two barrels. It seems like it would have to more than that:noidea

...and I will not even ask how you knew that two mouthfuls was a jigger (I'm sure it was using plain 'ol fruit juice:killinme)

btw,
the folks from Savanna, Ga and Kosciusko, Ms just love the whole "American Yankees" moniker. They told me to ask you if you would use it with all your posts.:nah

[Felicity]

yo felisilly,
you better be telling me straight 'cause I can wait to have two jacks and then demand a fair exchange for one jill.

I had no idea that a hogshead was only two barrels. It seems like it would have to more than that:noidea

...and I will not even ask how you knew that two mouthfuls was a jigger (I'm sure it was using plain 'ol fruit juice:killinme)

btw,
the folks from Savanna, Ga and Kosciusko, Ms just love the whole "American Yankees" moniker. They told me to ask you if you would use it with all your posts.:nahI'm glad to have contributed to your knowledge of the Imperial Measures system. I'm sure the ol' brain cells can handle it. ;)

Those folks in Ga. and Ms. will just have to deal with it is all I can say. Ha! :)