View Full Version : Ron's Cafe!
This little spot in the forum is where I usually post what things I have been sent by email, or what I have dredged up off of the internet.
It may be humourus, inspirational, or thought provoking, but it is always (hopefully) of an encouragement to others.
This isn't just my place but is open to all.
Feel free to come in, sit down, sip some Coffee (only Tim Horton's) and contribute if you can & feel inclined to do so.
Post numero one.
Weee Doggy!
==========
Weee Doggy!
That's an old saying from the TV show, "The Beverly Hillbillies."
Jed Clampett used to say that whenever he was excited or when
something overwhelming came up.
It was Jed's old-fashioned way from the city of Bug Tussle.
No, I don't exactly know where Bug Tussle is located, but I
doubt if they have a Wal-Mart.
I sit here at the office during one of these days.
After dealing with this and that.
After signing checks then checking the bank balance.
After dealing with personnel issues and technical issues.
After handling several emails.
After making adjustments on the website.
After checking with a supplier to make sure we would be able to
meet a promised delivery date.
After looking at the pile of mail on my desk.
I hit my toe this morning on an exercise machine, it hurts.
I've got to go meet with my wife in a few minutes, and I still
have loads to do.
Somehow it just came out.
Weee Doggy!
I don't know where it came from.
I just thought of old Jed and it came out, ...weee doggy!
It's not sophisticated I know.
It's not spiritual, I know.
Maybe an inspirational writer should have said something more
elegant, something more appropriate than a saying from
Bug Tussle.
Maybe
Weee doggy!
Elizabeth
02-09-2007, 10:30 PM
Ron
good to see you have your own thread, I used to watch ole Jed quite often when I was a kid, I remember him saying weee doggie a lot.
Sister Truth Seeker
02-10-2007, 05:43 AM
Love that Tim's coffee! Do you have any cookies to go with it? Over at Gabby's we have coffee, tea, and goodies galore........
Love ya Brother you are such an awesome person!!
Mayor of Bug Tussle
02-10-2007, 09:40 AM
No, I don't exactly know where Bug Tussle is located, but I
doubt if they have a Wal-Mart.I am glad you asked! As Mayor of Bug Tussle I would like to extend an invitation for y'all to visit our fine community!
(Sorry, we don't have a WalMart.)
To answer your question of where Bug Tussle is, check out this link:
Mapquest: Bug Tussle (http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?searchtype=address&country=US&addtohistory=&searchtab=home&formtype=address&popflag=0&latitude=&longitude=&name=&phone=&level=&cat=&address=&city=BUG+TUSSLE&state=&zipcode=)
Now, I know y'all r wonderin' how there can possibly be TWO Bug Tussles in the world
================================================== ========
So... let me tell you a little story 'bout a man named Bug
A rich oil baron but not the brightest spark plug
when one day he heard someone shootin'at his head
it turned out to be his ol' neighbor named Jed
Clampett that is, white trash, redneck.
Well the next thing you know ol' Bug's a dead dad
Bug Junior said "Bug's will was ironclad"
But Jed thought ahead and blew up Bug's house
Now the will's gone and so is Bug's spouse
Mrs. Tussle that is, sweet lady, salt o' the earth.
With ma and pa gone, there was nothing we could do
Jed stole all our land and the mineral rights too
As mayor of this town I renamed it to honor Bug
And we chased Jed out for he was nothing but a thug
Criminal that is, murderer, deadbeat.
================================================== ========
You see, our town used to be called "Wee Doggy"
And that is why Jed still says that.
He is rubbing our noses in what he did to us!
After all that happened, we fired our sheriff, Barney Fife.
Yep! we sent him packin'!
We figured if he can't bring Jed to justice then what good is he!
A few years later, my brother (Skeeter Tussle) moved north to Oklahoma, started another town near McAlester and named it Bug Tussle as well.
I still live in Bug Tussle, Texas.
You may have noticed in the show that Jed never visited Bug Tussle
-- that's because I won't let him in.
Y'all come visit us now, y'hear!
regards,
Bug Tussle Jr.
Mayor
***Call Before Digging********************************
The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep.
After the job was completed the boss returned and explained
an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed.
"Fill the hole back up," he ordered.
The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem.
He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole
without leaving a mound on top.
He went to the office and explained his problem.
The boss snorted, "Honestly! The kind of help you get these days!
There's obviously only one thing to do.
You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"
Have you ever tried to un-ring a bell?
Once rung, it's rung. You can't call the sound back into the bell.
That is true with a bell.
That is true with words.
Once rung or said, it can be un-rung or un-said.
There are many things in life that once it's done,
it just can't be put back exactly like it was.
When we dig up and spread dirt, we can't just put the dirt back in
and make everything like it was before.
Even when we try to repair the damage, we leave marks.
Before we say an unkind word, humiliate someone, or spread gossip, remember,
it's like the boss that tried to fill in the hole and make it like it was.
You can't just dig it deeper.
There is a sign that you will often see on property where underground power,
water or gas lines run.
It says, "call this number before digging".
Maybe we should always check with the main office before digging.
You can never get dirt put back in place quite right once it's been let loose.
Ron
good to see you have your own thread, I used to watch ole Jed quite often when I was a kid, I remember him saying weee doggie a lot.
Thanks, and thanks for stooping by.
I too have good memories from a kinder, gentler, era.
Love that Tim's coffee! Do you have any cookies to go with it? Over at Gabby's we have coffee, tea, and goodies galore........
Love ya Brother you are such an awesome person!!
Why thank ya STS! You are a fine neighbour to have!
Sister Truth Seeker
02-10-2007, 04:37 PM
Ture we can't undo...but we can repair...not to say we should go around being rude..speaking out of turn...but thankfully we have a chance to repair it!
"CELL PHONE vs. BIBLE"
I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go....hmm...where is my Bible? Makes you stop and think "where are my priorities?"
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill. And no dropped calls!
(author unknown)
Sister Truth Seeker
02-13-2007, 10:37 PM
OH my goodness had a nice thing typed out here and I just deleted it...lol....
I like this post Brother!!! I love my bibles..my cell phone is just a means to an end, my bible is one of my connections to God and no my calls to Him never get dropped.
****And God Said, "No!"****
I asked God to take away my pride, and God said, "No." God said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole, and God said, "No." God said her spirit is whole; her body is only temporary.
I asked God to give me patience, and God said, "No." God said that patience is a by-product of tribulation: It's not granted: it's earned.
I asked God to give me happiness, and God said, "No." God said he gives blessings, happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain, and God said "No." God said suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to Me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow, and God said "No." God said I must grow on my own, but God will prune me and make me fruitful.
I asked God if He loved me, and God said "YES." God said He gave His only Son who died for me and I will be in heaven some day because He died for me, if I believe.
So I asked God to help me love others, as much as He loves me, and God said, "Ah, finally you have the idea!"
The Problem
=========
Once we begin to place our faith
anywhere other than where it belongs,
we have become the problem.
No Need to Be Discouraged
====================
As I was driving home from work one day, I stopped to watch a
local Little League baseball game that was being played in a
park near my home.
As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked
one of the boys what the score was.
"We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile on his
face.
"Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very
discouraged."
"Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look.
"Why should we be discouraged?
We haven't even been up to bat yet."
I don't know who wrote the above joke but when life has you
down, when it appears you are losing, when you think the odds
are impossibly against you, remember this little boy.
Remember the Moment I had when I both laughed and
realized the truth of the jest.
...you haven't even been up to bat yet.
See It Through
===========
When you're up against a trouble,
Meet it squarely, face to face;
Lift your chin and set your shoulders,
Plant your feet and take a brace.
When it's vain to try to dodge it,
Do the best that you can do;
You may fail, but you may conquer,
See it through!
Black may be the clouds about you
And your future may seem grim,
But don't let your nerve desert you;
Keep yourself in fighting trim.
If the worst is bound to happen,
Spite of all that you can do,
Running from it will not save you,
See it through!
Even hope may seem but futile,
When with troubles you're beset,
But remember you are facing
Just what other men have met.
You may fail, but fall still fighting;
Don't give up, whate'er you do;
Eyes front, head high to the finish.
See it through!
~Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)~
Falla39
02-27-2007, 08:10 AM
The Problem
=========
Once we begin to place our faith
anywhere other than where it belongs,
we have become the problem.
Bro. Ron,
This is so true!
I am enjoying your thoughts, poems and place here!
Just wanted you to know that!!
Blessings,
Falla39
Sister Truth Seeker
02-27-2007, 08:30 AM
Thank you Ron for you constant encourgement to us all...
Thank you Sis Falla, STS. You both have been a great encouragement to myself.
Rufus and Clarence
==============
There were two old men living in the backwoods of the Ozarks
.... Rufus and Clarence.
They lived on opposite sides of the river, and they hated each
other. Every morning, just after sun-up, Rufus and Clarence
would go down to their respective sides of the river and yell at
each other.
"Rufus!!" Clarence would shout.
"You better thank yor lucky stars I cain't swim .... or I'd swim
this river and whup your behind!!"
"Clarence!!!" Rufus would holler back.
"You better thank YOUR lucky stars that I cain't swim ....
or I'd swim this river and whup your skinny behind!!!"
This happened every morning for twenty years.
One day the Army Corps of Engineers comes along and built a
bridge.
Still, every morning, every day for another five years this
yelling across the river goes on, even with the bridge.
Finally .... Mrs. Rufus had had enough.
"Rufus!" she squallers one day. "I cain't take no more!!
Every day for 25 years you've been threatenin' to whup Clarence.
Well, there's the bridge .... have a go at it."
Rufus thought for a moment.
Chewed his bottom lip for another moment.
"Woman!" he declared, snapping his suspenders into place,
"I'm gonna across that thar bridge and I'm gonna whup Clarence's
behind!!!"
He walked out the door, down to the river, along the riverbank,
came to the bridge, stepped up onto the bridge,
walked about halfway over the bridge, looked up .....
TURNED TAIL AND RAN SCREAMING BACK TO THE HOUSE, SLAMMED THE
DOOR, BOLTED THE WINDOWS, GRABBED THE SHOTGUN AND DOVE, PANTING
AND GASPING, UNDER THE BED!!!!!
"Rufus!" cried the misses.
"I thought you wuz gonna whup Clarence's behind!!!"
"I was, woman, I was!!" he whispered.
"Rufus!" cried the misses. "What in tarnation is the matter?"
"Well," muttered the terror-stricken Rufus, " I went to the
bridge .... I stepped up on the bridge .... walked halfway over
the bridge .... looked up ...."
"And?" asked Mrs. Rufus, breathless with suspense.
"And," continued Rufus, "I saw a sign that said ....
"Clearance, 13 feet, 6 inches" .... he ain't never looked that
big from the other side of the river" !!!:D
Malvaro
03-01-2007, 08:31 AM
Ron, I'd like a Carmel Apple Cider to go please.... busy day ahead....
Ron, I'd like a Carmel Apple Cider to go please.... busy day ahead....
Malvaro, I am sorry. What a lousy host. I will try to find some and have it ready for a next time visit!
How honest are we?
This is the way we would sing these well-known hymns–if we’re honest.
I Surrender Some
There Shall Be Sprinkles of Blessings
Fill My Spoon, Lord
Oh, How I Like Jesus
He’s Quite a Bit to Me
I Love to Talk About Telling the Story
Take My Life and Let Me Be
It is My Secret What God Can Do
There is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today
Onward, Christian Reserves
Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following
Just As I Pretend to Be
When the Saints Go Sneaking In
***Surendering Leadership***
Don’t surrender leadership to:
* outside forces
* faces
* farces
* fences
* frustrations
* fantasies
* fears
* fatigue
* faults
* facts
* frenzies
* fates
* forecasts
* foes
* friends
* fracturing experiences of life
* flattening out experiences of life
Do surrender leadership to faith.
–Robert Schuller-
Bryan
03-23-2007, 11:02 AM
http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l242/disorderlyprofusion/berksealofapproval.jpg
Falla39
03-23-2007, 10:11 PM
Thank you Sis Falla, STS. You both have been a great encouragement to myself.
Rufus and Clarence
==============
There were two old men living in the backwoods of the Ozarks
.... Rufus and Clarence.
They lived on opposite sides of the river, and they hated each
other. Every morning, just after sun-up, Rufus and Clarence
would go down to their respective sides of the river and yell at
each other.
"Rufus!!" Clarence would shout.
"You better thank yor lucky stars I cain't swim .... or I'd swim
this river and whup your behind!!"
"Clarence!!!" Rufus would holler back.
"You better thank YOUR lucky stars that I cain't swim ....
or I'd swim this river and whup your skinny behind!!!"
This happened every morning for twenty years.
One day the Army Corps of Engineers comes along and built a
bridge.
Still, every morning, every day for another five years this
yelling across the river goes on, even with the bridge.
Finally .... Mrs. Rufus had had enough.
"Rufus!" she squallers one day. "I cain't take no more!!
Every day for 25 years you've been threatenin' to whup Clarence.
Well, there's the bridge .... have a go at it."
Rufus thought for a moment.
Chewed his bottom lip for another moment.
"Woman!" he declared, snapping his suspenders into place,
"I'm gonna across that thar bridge and I'm gonna whup Clarence's
behind!!!"
He walked out the door, down to the river, along the riverbank,
came to the bridge, stepped up onto the bridge,
walked about halfway over the bridge, looked up .....
TURNED TAIL AND RAN SCREAMING BACK TO THE HOUSE, SLAMMED THE
DOOR, BOLTED THE WINDOWS, GRABBED THE SHOTGUN AND DOVE, PANTING
AND GASPING, UNDER THE BED!!!!!
"Rufus!" cried the misses.
"I thought you wuz gonna whup Clarence's behind!!!"
"I was, woman, I was!!" he whispered.
"Rufus!" cried the misses. "What in tarnation is the matter?"
"Well," muttered the terror-stricken Rufus, " I went to the
bridge .... I stepped up on the bridge .... walked halfway over
the bridge .... looked up ...."
"And?" asked Mrs. Rufus, breathless with suspense.
"And," continued Rufus, "I saw a sign that said ....
"Clearance, 13 feet, 6 inches" .... he ain't never looked that
big from the other side of the river" !!!:D
Bro. Ron,
Somehow I missed it but came across it tonight and it struck me
as so funny! Thanks for a good laugh!!:toofunny
Blessings,
Falla39
IBCrazier2
03-25-2007, 04:26 PM
Got any biscuits & gravy?
A Lesson From A Ketchup Bottle
=======================
Isn't it amazing the things God uses to teach us a lesson?
I learned to BE STILL from someone, no something:
a bottle of ketchup.
I banged on the top and the sides. It wasn't plastic so I
couldn't squeeze it or rush it short of poking a knife into the
bottle.
I waited and waited for the slow drip of the red stuff on my
fries. My plate had a lot of fries for that ketchup to cover
and to wait would've taken all day.
I banged on the sides again and the top and shook it for all it
was worth.
I didn't have all day.
Suddenly, it came to me, this is how I
am when I ask God for something.
I have a lot to cover and very little time and even less
patience. God, on the other hand, has all the time in the world
and does things in HIS own time and when HE is ready.
I can shake, squeeze, and bang all I want, but the blessing won't
be poured on in my time but in HIS time.
~ by Jessi Marsiglia, Jenison, MI~
Cough, Hack, Sputter!
I found this in File 13 at the back of the forum.
I think I will dust it off!
Did You Call Me?
=============
God: Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No... Who is this?
God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers.
So, I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good.
I am actually busy now.
God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don't know. But, I can't find free time.
Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God: Sure. Activity gets you busy.
Productivity gets you results.
Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. Yet, I still can't figure out. By the way,
I was not expecting YOU to call me on instant messaging chat
God: I wanted to solve your fight for time, by giving you some
clarity. In this internet era, I wanted to reach you
through the way in which you would understand.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis makes it
complicated.
Me: Why are we constantly unhappy?
God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about
yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing.
Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not
happy.
Me: How can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable. Worrying is optional.
Me: There is so much pain due to uncertainty.
God: Pain is inevitable - it will come. Suffering is optional,
you can choose.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people also suffer?
God: Diamonds cannot be polished without friction.
Gold cannot be purified without fire.
Good people go through trials, but, don't suffer.
With that experience, their life becomes better,
not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God: Yes. Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: Still, why should we go through such tests?
Why can't we be free from problems?
God: Problems are purposeful roadblocks offering beneficial
lessons to develop strength.
Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance,
not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly, in the midst of so many problems,
we don't know where we are heading ...
God: If you look outside, you will not know where you are going.
Look inside.
Looking outside, you dream.
Looking inside, you awaken.
Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than
moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success is a measurement decided by others.
Satisfaction is a measurement decided by you.
Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying.
You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far
you have to go.
Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God: When they suffer they ask, "Why me?"
When they prosper, they never ask "Why me?"
Everyone wishes to have truth on their side.
Few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes, I ask, "Who am I? Why am I here?"
I can't get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but, to determine who you
want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are
here. Create it.
Life is not a process of discovery.
It's a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes, I feel my prayers are not
answered.
God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times, the answer is
"NO."
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
God: Well, keep the faith and drop the fear.
Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve.
Trust me.
Getting Into Heaven
===============
I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if
they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage
sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me
into Heaven?"
"NO!" the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept
everything neat and tidy,
would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "NO!"
By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all
the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into
Heaven?"
I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, "NO!"
I was just bursting with pride for them. "Well," I continued,
"then how can I get into Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out,
"YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"
Cherokee Legend
=============
Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of
passage?
His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and
leaves him alone.
He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not
remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine
through it.
He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the
night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each
lad must come into manhood on his own.
The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of
noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even
some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and
earth and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never
removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could
become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he
removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his
father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch
the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, our
Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump
beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out
to Him.
~Author Unknown~
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