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-   -   Ogatt is my Favorite poster (https://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com/showthread.php?t=12331)

pelathais 02-09-2008 10:11 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeyman (Post 385295)
here is another Ogattian:

sundays healing service will be puttoff till i get better

This guy kills me!!!!
I repeated that one to my wife. The goat story I just kept to myself.

Rev 02-09-2008 10:12 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pelathais (Post 385339)
I repeated that one to my wife. The goat story I just kept to myself.
Scared uh?

pelathais 02-09-2008 10:13 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev (Post 385340)
Scared uh?
No, wise. http://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com...ons/icon10.gif

ogatt 02-09-2008 10:16 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pelathais (Post 385342)
like i said the other day
im dealing with this very thing in my church. I got up to preach the other nite and i ask all of the henpecked men to stand up. They all stood up but one. I said "brother how come you didnt stand up like the rest of the men" He said "my wife wouldnt let me"

Pressing-On 02-09-2008 10:16 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ogatt (Post 385345)
like i said the other day
im dealing with this very thing in my church. I got up to preach the other nite and i ask all of the henpecked men to stand up. They all stood up but one. I said "brother how come you didnt stand up like the rest of the men" He said "my wife wouldnt let me"
:toofunny:toofunny

grace_seeker 02-09-2008 10:17 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pelathais (Post 385339)
I repeated that one to my wife. The goat story I just kept to myself.
I don't have your wisdom...I read it for the first time and cracked up.....my wife said it was bad but funny.....so I think I got away with it.

Rev 02-09-2008 10:22 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ogatt (Post 385345)
like i said the other day
im dealing with this very thing in my church. I got up to preach the other nite and i ask all of the henpecked men to stand up. They all stood up but one. I said "brother how come you didnt stand up like the rest of the men" He said "my wife wouldnt let me"
:toofunny

StMark 02-09-2008 10:43 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
ogatt is crrrrazzy!

A great guy to be around with and hangout in person

ogatt 02-09-2008 10:44 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praxeas (Post 385269)
I hear tell Ogatt is 3ft tall...can anyone confirm this? :toofunny
being 3 feet tall has its problems. The other day i came in and told sister ogatt i was sore and chafed up around my straddle.

She said hop up here on the table and i will look. She took some scissors and begin to cut.

She said how does that feel. I said that feels great what did you do?

She said "i cut 3 inches off the top of your cowboy boots"

Rev 02-09-2008 10:45 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by StMark (Post 385361)
ogatt is crrrrazzy!

A great guy to be around with and hangout in person
We already knew that part. :toofunny

Fiyahstarter 02-09-2008 11:58 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Here's one for Ogatt.

A burglar had just broken into a house to rob it. The lights were off in the house, and as the burglar proceeded around the room with his flashlight, scoping out the place, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you. Jesus is watching you." This startled the burglar, who quickly flipped on the light, ready to shoot the person. To his surprise, he came face to face with a parrot in a cage. "Rrrooockkkk.... Jesus is watching you...Jesus is watching you!" said the parrot.

The burglar begin to chuckle. "Hmmm, well look what we have here. A stupid parrot. What is your name, stupid parrot?"

"Rrrocckkk... my name is Moses...Rrrocckkk" said the parrot.

"Moses?" said the burglar. "What kind of an idiot names their parrot Moses?"

"Rrrocckk... the same kind of an idiot who names their Rotweiller Jesus!" said the parrot.

Monkeyman 02-10-2008 11:58 AM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiyahstarter (Post 385453)
Here's one for Ogatt.

A burglar had just broken into a house to rob it. The lights were off in the house, and as the burglar proceeded around the room with his flashlight, scoping out the place, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you. Jesus is watching you." This startled the burglar, who quickly flipped on the light, ready to shoot the person. To his surprise, he came face to face with a parrot in a cage. "Rrrooockkkk.... Jesus is watching you...Jesus is watching you!" said the parrot.

The burglar begin to chuckle. "Hmmm, well look what we have here. A stupid parrot. What is your name, stupid parrot?"

"Rrrocckkk... my name is Moses...Rrrocckkk" said the parrot.

"Moses?" said the burglar. "What kind of an idiot names their parrot Moses?"

"Rrrocckk... the same kind of an idiot who names their Rotweiller Jesus!" said the parrot.
:toofunny:toofunny:toofunny

Mrs. LPW 02-10-2008 12:29 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiyahstarter (Post 385453)
Here's one for Ogatt.

A burglar had just broken into a house to rob it. The lights were off in the house, and as the burglar proceeded around the room with his flashlight, scoping out the place, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you. Jesus is watching you." This startled the burglar, who quickly flipped on the light, ready to shoot the person. To his surprise, he came face to face with a parrot in a cage. "Rrrooockkkk.... Jesus is watching you...Jesus is watching you!" said the parrot.

The burglar begin to chuckle. "Hmmm, well look what we have here. A stupid parrot. What is your name, stupid parrot?"

"Rrrocckkk... my name is Moses...Rrrocckkk" said the parrot.

"Moses?" said the burglar. "What kind of an idiot names their parrot Moses?"

"Rrrocckk... the same kind of an idiot who names their Rotweiller Jesus!" said the parrot.

The parrot sounds are a nice effect... "rrroooccckkkk"

OP_Carl 02-10-2008 02:35 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeyman (Post 385247)
Ogatt is my Favorite poster
That's Reverend Ogatt to YOU! Show some respect, you simian miscreant! :scripture :grumpy

Quote:
I have enjoyed his many posts! Even though he is too conservative for me, I think he would be great to hear preach...once!
While I too enjoy his posts I have heard some unnerving rumors that he is a closet liberal. What I was actually told is that he has a short-sleeved shirt in his closet.
Quote:
I couldn't have him speak at our church though, he probably would be offended by our video screens and guitars!!!!!!
It's unlikely he'd take offense at that. I doubt he'd even notice. He's a genuine, caring person who can tell EXACTLY which people are going straight to hell.

Harmony 02-10-2008 03:06 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by OP_Carl (Post 385687)
It's unlikely he'd take offense at that. I doubt he'd even notice. He's a genuine, caring person who can tell EXACTLY which people are going straight to hell.


He can? Wow!! Just remarkable!!

Rev 02-10-2008 05:20 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
The reason Ogatt hasn't posted today is that on Sunday he preaches eight different sermons. Eight in the morning and then eight again that night.

That's one sermon for each of his saints. If you go to hear him you better take your lunch.

Mrs. LPW 02-10-2008 05:24 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev (Post 385749)
The reason Ogatt hasn't posted today is that on Sunday he preaches eight different sermons. Eight in the morning and then eight again that night.

That's one sermon for each of his saints. If you go to hear him you better take your lunch.

:toofunny

Pressing-On 02-10-2008 05:25 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev (Post 385749)
The reason Ogatt hasn't posted today is that on Sunday he preaches eight different sermons. Eight in the morning and then eight again that night.

That's one sermon for each of his saints. If you go to hear him you better take your lunch.
:toofunny:toofunny

Rev,
I have a feeling he's going to have something to say about your post. :toofunny

Rev 02-10-2008 05:52 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pressing-On (Post 385753)
:toofunny:toofunny

Rev,
I have a feeling he's going to have something to say about your post. :toofunny
If he does I'm sure it won't be today. By the time he gets to that last message and the anointment has been on him so long, he looks like he has been through a hurricane, and he smells like that goat.

And he wonders why no one wants to fellowship after church!

StMark 02-10-2008 05:53 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Stop PMing me asking me who ogatt is I'm not telling anyone

Cindy 02-10-2008 06:50 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by StMark (Post 385765)
Stop PMing me asking me who ogatt is I'm not telling anyone
Nobody cares he is just so funny, if we knew who it was it would spoil the fun.............:crazyluv:TulsaTime:

grace_seeker 02-10-2008 07:37 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by StMark (Post 385765)
Stop PMing me asking me who ogatt is I'm not telling anyone
If he is from California I have one guess who he is....but you know what....it's best not to know at this time because he is WAY too much fun and just what this forum needs! :tvhappy I'm still laughing about the church board one!!!

Rev 02-11-2008 12:56 AM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Bump for Ogatt.

ogatt 02-11-2008 01:20 AM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
just got in from preachin. Long trip home in the 72 ltd wagon.

Had a good day. First of all i noticed 2 fellers in the service who didnt put any money in the offrin plate.

When the pastor turned it to me. I pointed out those to fellers and said "you two heatherns that didnt put any money in the plate. When im on my deathbed i want one of you on each side of me so i can die like Jesus...between two thieves!!!! That got the service off to a good start.

Then i sung a praise and worship song call there's a great day coming by an by. Are you ready for the judgement day.

I began my message with a scripture about mans wisdom being foolishness to God. I told them what this means is that if your brain was rolling down the edge of a razorblade it would look like a bb on a 4 lane hiway.

They seemed to respond to that.

Then i went straight into that scripture about clothes that pertain to a man. I preached about skirts with zippers in the front. 1 stich and a pair of scissors and you got pants!!!! Then i preached about bell bottoms.

After church the pastor told me that no one wears bell bottoms. i told him"i guess my preachin is workin"

I then went to the preacher house for fried chicken dinner. I was finishing up and wipin my mouth when i saw a rooster outside crowin. I told the pastor. Thats one proud rooster!!!

He said yes he is his son just entered into the ministry

ogatt 02-11-2008 01:30 AM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiyahstarter (Post 385453)
Here's one for Ogatt.

A burglar had just broken into a house to rob it. The lights were off in the house, and as the burglar proceeded around the room with his flashlight, scoping out the place, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you. Jesus is watching you." This startled the burglar, who quickly flipped on the light, ready to shoot the person. To his surprise, he came face to face with a parrot in a cage. "Rrrooockkkk.... Jesus is watching you...Jesus is watching you!" said the parrot.

The burglar begin to chuckle. "Hmmm, well look what we have here. A stupid parrot. What is your name, stupid parrot?"

"Rrrocckkk... my name is Moses...Rrrocckkk" said the parrot.

"Moses?" said the burglar. "What kind of an idiot names their parrot Moses?"

"Rrrocckk... the same kind of an idiot who names their Rotweiller Jesus!" said the parrot.
Thats a good one there.

I did go and buy a parrot the other day. I wen to the pet shop and told the owner i want a religious parrot and one that dont curse.

He said i got one right here. The parrott was sittin on his perch and had a string tied to each leg.
The owner said if you pull the left string he will quote the lords prayer. If you pull the right string he will quote the 23 psalm. I asked "what happens if i pull both strings at once??

I will fall off the stinkin perch said the parrott

Rev 02-11-2008 01:16 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ogatt (Post 386015)
just got in from preachin. Long trip home in the 72 ltd wagon.

Had a good day. First of all i noticed 2 fellers in the service who didnt put any money in the offrin plate.

When the pastor turned it to me. I pointed out those to fellers and said "you two heatherns that didnt put any money in the plate. When im on my deathbed i want one of you on each side of me so i can die like Jesus...between two thieves!!!! That got the service off to a good start.

Then i sung a praise and worship song call there's a great day coming by an by. Are you ready for the judgement day.

I began my message with a scripture about mans wisdom being foolishness to God. I told them what this means is that if your brain was rolling down the edge of a razorblade it would look like a bb on a 4 lane hiway.

They seemed to respond to that.

Then i went straight into that scripture about clothes that pertain to a man. I preached about skirts with zippers in the front. 1 stich and a pair of scissors and you got pants!!!! Then i preached about bell bottoms.

After church the pastor told me that no one wears bell bottoms. i told him"i guess my preachin is workin"

I then went to the preacher house for fried chicken dinner. I was finishing up and wipin my mouth when i saw a rooster outside crowin. I told the pastor. Thats one proud rooster!!!

He said yes he is his son just entered into the ministry
"When the pastor turned it to me. I pointed out those to fellers and said "you two heatherns that didnt put any money in the plate. When im on my deathbed i want one of you on each side of me so i can die like Jesus...between two thieves!!!! That got the service off to a good start."

I think you've got the anointment back now! Preach!

Pressing-On 02-11-2008 01:22 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev (Post 386519)
"When the pastor turned it to me. I pointed out those to fellers and said "you two heatherns that didnt put any money in the plate. When im on my deathbed i want one of you on each side of me so i can die like Jesus...between two thieves!!!! That got the service off to a good start."

I think you've got the anointment back now! Preach!
:toofunny:toofunny

Fiyahstarter 02-11-2008 04:28 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
Knee-Slapping Funny Stuff!!!

Monkeyman 02-12-2008 04:49 PM
Re: Ogatt is my Favorite poster
 
bump


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