Apostolic Friends Forum - Just Some Things I've Been Holding In

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Re: Just Some Things I've Been Holding In

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barb (Post 1172023)

There are going to be folks all the time who don't understand, so what?

Opinions are like noses...we all have one and some are uglier than others, but I refuse to let the ugliness of someone's attitude define who I am or keep me in a constant state of I don't know what.

Your post reminds me of a story my former pastor used to love to tell...

When he was growing up, there was a Mother in the church who constantly told folks with a sickness or problem, "Child, just tell the devil he's a liar!"

She said this for years, until one day, Mother got sick.

One of the young'uns in the church said, "Mother, just tell the devil he's a liar!"

And Mother replied, "Yes, but honey, he ain't lying this time!"

That's the way many do...they simply can't see a sorrowful day until they are in a sorrowful state.

But bemoaning their lack of comprehension doesn't make life sweeter...

IMO, none of this proves that the problems should just be ignored, or those who want to talk about it should be hushed and shooed away. If nobody is allowed to get things like this out in the open, then everyone that it happens to will think they're alone. That there's something wrong with them. That the abusers are right!

I guarantee you there are lurkers on this very thread, and many others, who may never post, but who draw some strength and encouragement from finding out that they are not alone. That others have been through what they have been through. That maybe they're not wrong!

The very nature of the kind of abuse we are talking about is such that the victims very often feel that they have no option other than to "take it". By definition, it blames the victim. Pounds it home! This takes a toll. Sometimes the message "takes", and very well.

Re: Just Some Things I've Been Holding In

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timmy (Post 1172027)

No, no, no! Perhaps I am not making myself plain...

I never said anyone should keep silent. Today I have written a 13 page letter to not only be sent TO the elder involved in our family deal, but also TO the outside board members.

So no, I don't believe in holding it in.

My posts were in reference to ILG not liking that PO disagreed with her analogy, thinking that disagreement denotes unconcern.

Then I responded to you...others may not want to know about your pain, and my response to that...

Rain on 'em! Why bemoan their inability to get it? So my point...get over it. Not everyone is going to agree with us.

Yes, I understand her her pain and have for years.

Re: Just Some Things I've Been Holding In

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barb (Post 1172032)

Good luck with that letter.

Re: Just Some Things I've Been Holding In

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Most folks are self made victims. They don't love church because they don't love God. It is that simple. Who hadn't been hurt in church-job-family-neighborhood-school-friends? That is a cop out for folks who are unruly and love to be miserable.

The original person who posted this little "jewel" most likely came from someone who is an abuser himself. They just want someone to stand still and take the abuse without saying anything to expose him.

How dare he judge someone's heart that they do not love God. He totally ignores that it is not loving church that people not love, but it is that they do not love the abuse taking place in that church and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with God.

GOD DOES NOT ABUSE people.

Re: Just Some Things I've Been Holding In

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILG (Post 1172033)

Good luck with that letter.

Thank you! It is an unbelievable tale (not UPCI), but God is in control... :thumbsup

Re: Just Some Things I've Been Holding In

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Originally Posted by The Matt (Post 1170396)

Sorry I haven't been around, I've just lost my taste for arguing my point and being disproven, being told I'm wrong about everything I believe and think. I just have feelings that I need to put out to other people,

Now that you've gotten that off your chest, Amanah gave you some great advice. :thumbsup

Re: Just Some Things I've Been Holding In

...and let us know how the rat poison thing works out for you, k?

Re: Just Some Things I've Been Holding In

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barb (Post 1172032)

I still think it is right not only to share experiences and expose these things, but also to "bemoan" the lack of understanding and empathy in some people -- that itself is part of the problem. In fact, it's a crucial part of the problem, since many of those same people are abusers themselves, and they would like nothing more than to continue spewing their poison, without challenge.

Their poison works toward the goal of keeping the victims down, keep them wondering if the problem is in them, if they really are faulty somehow -- since they can't just "get over it", and maybe they really don't love God as much as they think they do, maybe they are being selfish. Yep, there is a reason for that poison, and it will keep working if it isn't exposed for what it is.

Re: Just Some Things I've Been Holding In

Oh, and about that analogy and its critiques, not all stories end like the story of Job ended. Not everyone gets back what they've lost. I don't blame the victim for that, either. More faith wouldn't have helped.

Re: Just Some Things I've Been Holding In

"Not everyone gets back what they've lost...More faith wouldn't have helped."

How do you know?