Originally Posted by Rhoni (Post 356267)

Dear Jane,

Rebuilding trust takes time. Have you went to those who offended you and discussed the situation with them to fully understand? If you have, with no resolution, then the best thing you can do is to detach from the assembly, make a conscious effort to forgive them, and then look for another place of worship.

What you must be careful about is placing blame on God for the humanness of individual saints or pastors. God has always loved you and forgiven you. God does not control other people's actions to make our lives more 'pleasant'. What he does is sustain us when we feel alone, mistreated, misunderstood, and abandoned.

You can choose to stay 'hurt' or you can take control back from them and live your life to the fullest. We are not in control of other's behaviors and feeling, but we must be of our own.

Trusting God is a given. Trusting man is as much our responsibility as the other person. You should learn healthy boundaries and who it is and isn't safe to trust. Just because a person has a place of authority or a title does not mean they are trustworthy...

Make a list of attributes you look for in a close friend and see how you can apply this to other relationships as a measure. Don't forget to look inward and see what you did or have done to contribute to the problem and resolve your own issues before making judgements about others.

Blessings, Rhoni

Originally Posted by Rhoni (Post 356267)

Dear Jane,

Rebuilding trust takes time. Have you went to those who offended you and discussed the situation with them to fully understand? If you have, with no resolution, then the best thing you can do is to detach from the assembly, make a conscious effort to forgive them, and then look for another place of worship.

What you must be careful about is placing blame on God for the humanness of individual saints or pastors. God has always loved you and forgiven you. God does not control other people's actions to make our lives more 'pleasant'. What he does is sustain us when we feel alone, mistreated, misunderstood, and abandoned.

You can choose to stay 'hurt' or you can take control back from them and live your life to the fullest. We are not in control of other's behaviors and feeling, but we must be of our own.

Trusting God is a given. Trusting man is as much our responsibility as the other person. You should learn healthy boundaries and who it is and isn't safe to trust. Just because a person has a place of authority or a title does not mean they are trustworthy...

Make a list of attributes you look for in a close friend and see how you can apply this to other relationships as a measure. Don't forget to look inward and see what you did or have done to contribute to the problem and resolve your own issues before making judgements about others.

Blessings, Rhoni

Originally Posted by JaneEyre (Post 356029)

There are those who would tell me I am backslidden. I no longer attend church regularly. My last experience in church ended in my trust being violated by preachers. Don't ask for details. I'm not looking for pity or even empathy. I don't want to be viewed as a victim and I'm not wanting to discredit anyone. I would never relate specifics on a forum.

My desire for God and church is not gone. I still believe I have a relationship with God but I am afraid and reluctant to try to begin again with a group of believers.

Do I know Christ? Yes. Do I love Him? Yes. Do I want to serve Him? Yes.
This has continued for months. The only road home is back to Calvary - to look at the sacrifice and know it was personally for me but I can't live at the foot of Calvary. I am told I need to go back to church. Back to where the knives were placed into my back. Will someone please tell me that the wounds will someday heal?

Originally Posted by Coonskinner (Post 356323)

Good post Sister.

A lot of truth here.

Originally Posted by JaneEyre (Post 356523)

Rhoni, I've read your posts many times and identified with some of your pain. Thanks for taking time to give of your experience and knowledge.

I'm not here to rehash anything over and over. I come here for encouragement and the hope that maybe someone will actually see my need and pray for me. In a church service, when a person goes up for prayer over and over for physical needs, rarely does anyone condemn that person...But have someone have a spiritual wound that is still a need and it's a totally different story. Often it's something like: Don't bother me. Get a life. Get over it. Please realize it's not that easy.

Until you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes, you have no idea how much that person's feet can hurt from the obstacles that have been put in the pathway. With spiritual miles, it's not the feet but the heart that is aching.

As I said, I am trying to stay away from this board lately. God bless.

Originally Posted by JaneEyre (Post 356029)

There are those who would tell me I am backslidden. I no longer attend church regularly. My last experience in church ended in my trust being violated by preachers. Don't ask for details. I'm not looking for pity or even empathy. I don't want to be viewed as a victim and I'm not wanting to discredit anyone. I would never relate specifics on a forum.

My desire for God and church is not gone. I still believe I have a relationship with God but I am afraid and reluctant to try to begin again with a group of believers.

Do I know Christ? Yes. Do I love Him? Yes. Do I want to serve Him? Yes.
This has continued for months. The only road home is back to Calvary - to look at the sacrifice and know it was personally for me but I can't live at the foot of Calvary. I am told I need to go back to church. Back to where the knives were placed into my back. Will someone please tell me that the wounds will someday heal?