Re: Things "Another Jesus" Might Say
 

Or......


For as the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west; so shall also the coming of the Roman armies be.




LOLOLOLOL

Re: Things "Another Jesus" Might Say
 

Another Jesus, high school yearbook edition:

Always stay the same and just believe in yourself because the kingdom of God is like, really, really far away, okay?

Re: Things "Another Jesus" Might Say
 

"Obey Acts 2:38 and speak in tongues, or you are lost."

Re: Things "Another Jesus" Might Say
 

Then Peter said unto them just receive Christ as lord and savior, and your sins will be forgiven and washed away and you will have the Holy Spirit.

Re: Things "Another Jesus" Might Say
 

It's really sad when a post like this, which was intended to edify and bring some stark clarity to the words of the Messiah, is used as a whipping post to try and string up some of the members here for a lashing.

Re: Things "Another Jesus" Might Say
 

I don't recall there being any Scripture remotely close to this one anywhere in the Bible. Chapter and verse please?

Re: Things "Another Jesus" Might Say
 

Then Peter said unto them, Repent with true tearful and loathesome angst, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ being fully immersed by a Oneness preacher for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost with initial evidence of speaking in other tongues, living an overcoming life free from all jewelry, make-up, pants on women, with hair on women uncut, no facial hair on men, devoid of bowling, movie theaters, organized sports and professional sporting events, amusement parks, carnivals, or county fairs, no wedding rings, sleeves long enough to cover the elbow, no card games, games with dice, Old Maid, or Monopoly, no television, rented movies from Red Box, nor any Hollywood produced entertainment, and then maybe just maybe if you call on the name of the Lord you might be saved.

Re: Things "Another Jesus" Might Say
 

If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, but you're still going to hell in a hand basket because you haven't spoken in tongues.

Re: Things "Another Jesus" Might Say
 

Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth even though that sinner is still as lost as two boys kissing. Angels just love to have an excuse to party.

Re: Things "Another Jesus" Might Say
 

They won't be in heaven anyway because they never spoke in tongues goofy!