Originally Posted by The Matt (Post 1170651)

Thank you for the prayers everyone, I'm feeling a bit better today. I have a feeling it's because I have two days off work. I'm sorta feeling a bit like a leach, living off the prayers of others and worrying everyone, it's just tough holding in and holding in what you're feeling and no one knowing what's wrong. But I've managed to put back on my false smile, and my mind is made up, I'm going to prayer meeting tonight. No doubt everyone's going to want to know where I've been and what I've been doing, and I can't very well say, "Oh you know, manic depression, drug binge, losing faith, same old same old." So...meh. You know, you guys know a lot more about me and my mind than anyone I really KNOW. *Enter witty and clever closing statement here*

Originally Posted by CC1 (Post 1170660)

I will continue praying for you as I know many on here will do as well. I hope you have a good Christian counselor / therapist you can talk to.

Originally Posted by The Matt (Post 1170647)

I'd guesstimate about 2:30-2:45 am central, but I fail to see the connection?

Originally Posted by The Matt (Post 1170491)

Thanks for the advice and the encouragement everyone. I will not be changing my meds. For the simple reason that I don't trust having my own life in my own hands without them. I will be going back to church for prayer meeting tomorrow, and I will not be church hopping. And I have gotten one concerned call from one of the sweetest ladies on the planet, not long after this thread was started. And I also got a home visit today from my best friend in church. I know where I messed up to get myself into this current depression. I missed church, because I wanted to get high, and then I couldn't stop, and now I'm realizing 7 months of sobriety are suddenly down the drain. Let's see what else....oh I will not be smoking any pot. The only thing pot does is numb me to the point where I'm void of emotion and feelings, good or bad, and the most recent few times I've smoked 7 months ago, panic attacks. I'm off to work in T minus two minutes, so if I can get through tonight, and get to prayer meeting tomorrow, I think I'll be ok. I hope. The Matt...out.

Originally Posted by Amanah (Post 1170711)

we are a wierd lot, but we do love you Matt, it's nice to have a place where you can come and be yourself, isnt it? :nod

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin (Post 1170714)

Matt, why don't you talk to God like you talked to us in the original post? Tell Him how you feel. He'll listen to you and He will help you if you'll be honest with Him and let him. And don't you ever fear, He'll listen.

Praying for you!

Been Thinkin

Originally Posted by The Matt (Post 1170743)

I dunno, lately its been like there's been a brick wall between me and God. I set myself down, get ready to pray, and just nothing comes to mind. It's like...I dunno a mental block when I actually prepare myself to pray. I'm going to go get anointed at prayer meeting tonight, and ask a few of my brothers to pray for me. And hopefully just being at church will help ease my mind.

Originally Posted by The Matt (Post 1170671)

I've been trying to look for a free one or one that works with your income, I've been unable to find one in my area. Right now, my brothers and sisters in church, and this place is my therapy.