Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

I found out yesterday that over 4 years ago the wonderful UPC church we attended taught a lesson to the 12 years about sex education. This was done without parental knowledge. Also found out that their Biblical teachings on sex was not accurate. Go figure.

Just curious what others may have to say about such activities by churches. Do you think it should be taught at church? If so at what age? Do you believe they should do so without parental knowledge? Have you had a similar experience?

Needless to say, this is info that we have discussed with our kids on an on going basis. Our son knows that the info they gave him is not correct. I still wish he had told us at that time about the class. If I had known then I would not have allowed him to sit in on the class. I am just thankful that we were ahead of the game and that he was not messed up with their ideas and thinking.

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

Explain what you mean by "sex education." Was it a passing comment by the teacher within a lesson, or a group of lessons devoted to that topic? What exactly was taught, and which parts were inaccurate?

Satisfy my curiosity, and then I'll answer. :D

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

It was a series of classes they taught to the kids. I have no idea why my son never spoke about it at the time. They were telling the kids what positions were Biblical. I had no idea the Bible told us that information.
From the things he has been telling me it was pretty graphic. Stuff best not talked about.

Probably should have thought of that before I started this. I was just a little annoyed. A little late in time for that but still annoyed.

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

Wow, Thats crazy!
I teach at a Christian School, and we had a "Purity Lock-in" for the girls. We had the parents permission and we had a staff of very qualified teachers. The classes were "Hygeine", "Purity", "Forgiveness", and "Modesty". We had girls that were in 6th grade (these were focused on hygeine, menstruation, purity, and modesty) all the way to 12th. The older (high school) girls were spoken to a little more plainly.
All of the parents very specific knowledge as to what was being discussed. We also had a Christian recording artist give a concert, her message was purity.
The girls loved it and said that no one had ever talked to them about these things before so plainly, not parents, or youth pastors. This broke my heart.
Most of these "Christian kids" had learned about sex was from their friends and the world, other than --Don't do it-- which is what they were told by pastors and parents.
I have a real heart for teenagers, and I want to see them live holy, pure lives. But if the world is so plain spoken with their lies, we must counter with the Truth.
We told the girls to go home and talk about all of this with their parents, we got letters and phone calls from parents saying that this was the most their teen had ever communicated with them in some time... (no negative response whatsoever). Paul talked about it plainly, why shouldn't the church?
BTW there was no discussion of 'biblical positions'!

On another note, my son only went to public school for 2 years. In his last year, they were teaching a sex education class. it stated very specifically that parents could come in and reveiw the material. My husband went to the school and when he asked to reveiw it, he was told that he was the only parent EVER to ask to reveiw the material!!! CRAZY! After reveiwing it, we opted out, thank you very much!

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

:aaa

Well. LOL!!! If our church did something similar (which they wouldn't), we would be having a meeting with the pastor immediately to address it. WAY out of line.

And "which positions are biblical?" I didn't know the Bible discussed that. :whistle

However...(and I know you believe your son), its always a good idea to ask a few adults about it, and get their take on the events before you go for the jugular. Children can misunderstand, or mistake one thing for another. I'm not saying he did...but its best to have your ducks in a row and have indisputable facts before you go into attack mode. :)

(I would go so far as to ask in a very friendly and non-confrontational tone..."Hey, my son told me you guys taught a biblically based sex ed curriculum last year--is there any way for me to get a copy of that?"

Anyway, if the facts are accurate as your son has presented them, there would be a very serious meeting with the pastor about the Sunday School department. (or youth dept.) Sometimes things are done without pastoral approval, so you can't assume the pastor knew or approved. But if he did....tsk tsk tsk.

Like I said--make sure you get the facts first from several reliable sources, and if you had a copy of the curriculum in hand (assuming there was any), it will be much better.

I had to educate Hannah on specifics a couple of years earlier than I had planned because her cousin gave her misinformation--such terrible misinformation, that leaving her with that info would have been more traumatic than setting it straight in great detail. I was NOT happy about it. :club And when I was done, I called my sister up and told her she needed to inform HER daughter of the birds and bees, since obviously my niece didn't have a CLUE...LOL!

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

At this point it is over 4 years since this took place. I left FL because of bad feelings I had while there. Knowing the church and how many divorces and remarriages inside the church that have gone on I have no doubt what he told me is true. This particular son has a way of down playing things to sound better than what they really are.

I am just very thankful that we are not there anymore. I would have had me a holy fit if I had known this back then. The fit may have included a sort of re-enactment of Jesus driving out the money changers from the temple. Would have been my version.

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

That is the way it should be done. If this is how it was handled I think most would be satisfied. I am still just flabbergasted that they talked about such stuff to kids who were so young. He has been telling me some of the questions the kids asked and what the teachers had said and it was NOT things that should have been discussed. The teachers sound like perverts to me.

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

What a shame

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

I have no trouble with the church teaching on sex or about sex to the youth, say 15 and older. However discussion on positions and 'how-to's' and how-not-to's' should not be the topic that should be covered in a premarital class, IMO. Teaching that sex and sex acts are great things, BUT in the confines of marriage is important.

This topic has been too taboo in the church. If it is taught on the only thing you hear is how bad it is. I think it can hurt our kids. They have this false sense that sex is bad, but yet their bodies are telling them it is ok to do so there is this disconnect. I believe that if the church approached sex from a proactive view instead a reactive view that the youths of our church might have a better understanding and might actually stay away from it. My parents taught me about the benefits of sexual expressions, but also taught it was specifically for marriage. It actually helped me. I think that if we taught it to the youth in a straight honest way and not pervert it to be some bad thing, but show them the actual benefits and purpose it might be a different situation with them experimenting with it, IMO.

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

And This sister gives you a loud "AMEN"!!! :highfive

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

Thanks. I just think that it could cut down on a lot of the premarital pregnancies and other things. No one is perfect and kids will make mistakes, but at least if they make mistakes with the right teachings they will be mature enough to deal with the mistakes and move on. I am not looking forward to when my daughter dates. She is only 2 so I got a while, but my wife and I have made a deal to teach her right about the topic of sex and to not cast her away for her mistakes. But if we are proactive instead or reactive then I feel that it betters our chances of my daughter being pure until marriage and being mature enough to handle that part of the relationship once she is married.

I set it all the time with friends of mine and others that didn't have the correct teaching on this topic unitl right before marriage and you expect them to change their minds on the subject of sex? After they are taught all their lives how wrong it is and then in a short time have to unlearn that is very unhealthy to the mental state and physcial state of a boy and a girl. You don't send troopers into battle with out the correct training first do you? No way.

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

It is so true. If God put a whole book in the Bible about it, I think we need to talk about it... Hey he didn't put a whole book about hair, and yet that topic has seen alot threads... LOL :ursofunny
But seriously, the enemy is taking our kids through ignorance, and we refuse to give them the tools to fight. We have had discussions with our kids (our own children) and one of them was about STD's. Later on they asked a question about genTILE herpes, I just about lost it! I explained the answer to the original question, then I said "I guess the ones you were talking about were the ones that Jews don't get"....:tease

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

that is funny

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

I agree that it shouldn't be taboo, BUT if a child is a minor (under 18), their parents should have a say in what they're taught, IF at all. Secondly, there are a LOT of church Sunday School teachers whose views on sexuality I would NOT want taught to my children, even from the point of their interpretation on an approved curriculum.

So even if I thought the curriculum was okay, I still might not want my child to hear it from certain people, because the curriculum will always have the slant of the teacher.

Bottom line, though, the church staff does not have the right to teach on sensitive topics (to minors) without the permission of the parents. Period.

I do agree that these things need to be discussed, and from a biblical perspective. But parents are NOT the enemy, and should never be left out of the equation.

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

I absolutely agree, and no, parents are not the enemy. If it was taught properly in the home I doubt we would have a problem with it in the church, yet we do.
One solution to the problem would be for teens (with their) parents to go through a curriculum (maybe during sunday school, or mid-week service)-- with the boys and girls separated-- and let the teacher guide the discussion. My fear is that many parents wouldn't want to miss their own service, or sit there and be uncomfortable in a room where sex is being discussed.But I would be that alot of parents might get some questions answered!
I think alot of parents would rather have someone else teach their kids about sex.

Just a thought

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

Amen
Amen
Amen
and AMEN

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

Exactly. I think parental approval is needed for 18 and up as well if they're still in the youth dept. As a SS teacher, I would never think of doing this! I am shocked and appalled that they would teach a series on this a) for WHAT purpose?! SS is for teaching Biblical principles and b) with no parental or pastor approval. Those teachers should have been reprimanded and banned for every teaching SS again! I agree that there needs to be more of a discussion on this in the church from a positive point of view (w/in marriage)for the older youth. But it should all be done very cautiously, with parental and pastor consent and probably taught with a married lady teaching to the girls, a man to the guys, etc. But not in Sunday School....think about the visitors! And someone taught positions?! That sounds very, VERY perverted and suspicious! That is totally inappropriate converation for teenagers.

I get nervous at Christmas when we teach on Mary giving birth to Jesus before she was married. I teach the younger ones and I don't want any questions! Thankfully our SS literature omits the word "virgin" from the books for the little ones.

I know I had sex ed in high school in a co-ed setting but it was not explicit...more factual with lots of emphasis on what STD's do to you. And we had to watch a video of a woman giving birth. :)

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

First off.... I agree that it does not belong in Sunday school class for the most part.

Second, when I was in Sunday school I cannot imagine any of my teachers bringing it up. To them SEX was a four letter word. Something done behind multiple closed doors, in the dark, silently, and never EVER admitted to -with the assumption that all the kids running around just spontaneously came to be.
Now things may have changed since the early 80's but my fear of such a topic in SS is that the teachers would be too "prudish" with the "sex is for procreation only" doctrine being taught.

Re: Sunday School classes teaching sex education
 

That reminds me of a funny story. We have always been extremely open with our children about sex. This is what it is, the time is after you're married, and the place is well... that's your business. We have always called anatomy what it is (no nicknnames) and we have always explained to our kids that they are not to share ANY information about sex with their friends. L
Last Christmas my daughter who was in 5th grade was in class, and the subject of circumcision came up. She made a face and at recess some of the girls asked her about it, she explained it, then she came home and proudly told me what she had done. I looked at her and said, "why did you do that? we told you not to talk about sex with your friends" she responded, "Mom it's not sex, it's circumcision". I laughed and said ok, "NO DISCUSSIONS with friends about anything that the bathing suit covers!