Nah, they don't even respond directly to me anymore... I am like that black guy in the movie, "Animal" with Rob Sneider. lol.

Is that why people don't respond to me as much anymore? I just thought it was because I've been getting mixed up with the wrong crowd :laffatu


:heeheehee

There are people who cry abuse whether it's there or not for sure and there are those pastors that are abusive I guess although I've never experienced anything that could anywhere near even resemble abuse. My pastors have all been loving and kind.

There are times when pastors have to make decisions that aren't popular and there are times when pastors have to declare unequivocally what the Word of God says and stand for Truth and not back down and not put up with foolishness.

But you're absolutely right. God's people should not be beaten. They should be led the same way the Good Shepherd leads us. He is our example in all things.

How did Jesus deal with those who He led? Even the ones who disobeyed and didn't understand or comprehend what He was saying to them or what the will of God was? Look at it, read the scripture and see how patient and kind and loving He was with His own followers. :)

Brother Epley,
I am working off of your post here which is excellently written!

I could have looked at everything that I have gone through and experienced in a negative way, but then I remember the scripture in Romans 8:28 "And we know that ALL things work together....."

We were in a service a number of years ago and the message was on Saul and David. Too much detail to include here. After the service my husband and I found out that the Lord had told us the same thing, "I have brought you through many things and am going to do a quick work. Through these things I will bring to your remembrance the things I don't want you to do."

Did I lose sight of that trapping along in life. Sure. I wish I could know exactly how Joseph felt through all his testing after his dreams and promises.

Nevertheless, at some point we have to understand that ALL things work together. We are being made ready. If you want patience, you have to suffer adversity. If you want to overcome, you have to be faced with temptation. If you want to win the prize, you have to keep running.

I Peter 5:10 "But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you."

Amen to that!

:thumbsup :thumbsup :thumbsup

Some folks wear abuse like a badge it gives them an excuse to live lawless lives not accountable to anyone. And some no doubt have been abused we were in an abusive situation but you get over it and go on with life. Hurt is a horrible thing especially given by someone we loved and trusted but it does not have to become terminal. ALL bitterness starts with a real or percieved hurt. How you deal with will determine your life HERE and in the world to come. If you have been abused my advise forgive and get over it quit feeding and nourishing it. Life is too short to live an embittered life blaming someone else for all your failures and disappointments. We live in a day of victims God has never intended us to be victims but victors. Give your hurts to Jesus he heals the wound spirits and go on with God and life.

I want to repost something that I shared in the "I Challenge Cooper" thread regarding spiritual abuse:

The truth is that those who have not experienced it, do not understand the depths of damage that can be done in the mind.

Though I long ago let of any bitterness or anger that I held and freely forgave those who injured me, even I did not completely understand the effect those past experiences had on my spiritual life.

Firstly, and most importantly, I was taught a distorted view of God. Secondly I was shown a distorted view of authority. This distortion continued to encompass the church/body. These were all tied together with a manipulation and distortion of the Word.

So what was I left with? A fear of the ministry, a lack of trust in other believers, a dislike, fear, mistrust and feelings of confusion towards God and His word.

How do you just "get over" something like that? What tools does one use? All the sources one would normally turn to, have in the past been sources of abuse.

Perhaps it is different when one has been taught and nuturted in a healthy spiritual environment and then has a "bad experience", but when one is "born" into an abusive church it is not that easy to overcome. Then you are equipped with a defective filter. Even when you hear "truth" it is filtered through the distorted and twisted foundation that was first built.

I have been out of the bad environment for over 3 years and it has only been in the past month that I have begun to make progress. Because I have only now gotten a clear picture of Jesus. My view of Him was so distorted that there was no peace or joy in my walk, for I was serving a God that I despised, feared and had so much anger towards. I found Him capricious, arbitrarily cruel, demanding, domineering and a spiritual blackmailer.

(Anyone interested in reading about how that change, it is posted here: http://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com...6&postcount=23 )

Now that I have rebuilt my foundation, I can begin to deal with the other things.

But to be honest, it's very much a two steps forward, one step back process. Especially when it comes to church, Pastors and the Bible. They were the things that were used to distort my image of God.

True enough; but you, yourself, said it took you "years" to get over abuse. You had to go through a process of healing, I assume.

I wonder, is allowing a child to indulge himself in eating all and everything he so desires without trying to guide him into a healthy diet an abuse? Is his obesity a sign of abuse? And is the child that is given his way in everything in life because of the risk of a temper traumatic display if not allowed to do as he pleases. Is his, later in life, prison uniform a sign of past abuse? One wonders, can abuse be not just dis-allowance but can it also be allowance?

It did because I nursed and fed the stupid thing. I hope someone would learn from my stupidity.
Quit feeding the thing, refuse to discuss it, refuse to meditate on it, get up and go on with life it is too short to waste on folks who could care less they hurt you. The ones who hurt you are enjoying life they are not worrying how they hurt you.
Go get a banana split or chocolate sundae and find someone to laugh with.

Some said "life is to short to dance with an ugly woman."

Enjoy the people who love you and forget those who could care less.