[chosenbyone]

I have so much enjoyed reading what all of you have shared on this thread. I have read every story and have wept reading about what your mothers have meant to you.

There is something that happens to a person when you face your own mortality. Life seems so much precious to me at this point. For many years, I was estranged from my mother and it was the major source of sadness that blanketed my life. I looked at holidays as nothing but a sad reminder of my loses. I dreaded each and every one for I would spiral into a depression time and time again.

Mother's Day in particular was very painful for it only reminded me of my mother's rejection. As a child, being rejected by your mother, I would say is one of the most damaging things that could happen. I had some great women in my life that helped raise me, but they weren't my momma.

In late 1990, I moved back to Texas determined to find my momma. She had remarried and didn't have anything to do with her family, which made the search that more difficult. But God was good and faithful to me and after nearly a year of searching for my momma, I found myself face to face with her. It was something I always wanted, but reality brought a different reunion than I had dreamed.

There were many hurdles that made it difficult for us, but we persevered and the walls that prevented us from sharing our lives slowly began to crumble.

I can't say that we ever got to the point of the mother-son bond that I've witnessed in others, but we were friends and I was her confidant. The cruel twist of fate was the day my mother confirmed to me that she had early onset of dementia. I was there for her and watched as she slowly became just a shell of a person. I remember as the disease progressed that I got so angry with God that after all those years of not having my momma that He would allow this to happen.

It was one of the most difficult things to go through...losing my momma once again. I haven't seen my momma in almost two years now. The last time I saw her it broke my heart for there wasn't anytime during that visit that she recognized me. Before during my visits, I always would hold her and talk to her waiting for just that small space in time that I could see the fog lift from her eyes long enough for her to know that her son was loving her. What I want most while I'm living is for my momma to once again know me and to know that I love her.

Tomorrow, my momma will turn 67 years old and I plan on driving up to Trinity to see my momma. There is a sense that I may not see my momma again for my health is failing. I know that God can heal me on this earth, but if by chance He doesn't, I need to see her.

My desire is to see my momma and for her to see me one more time. Momma never excepted the plan of salvation though I tried many times to win her to Christ. I don't know where my momma will spend eternity, but tomorrow I just want one minute to hear her tell me she loves me.

Thank you all for sharing such beautiful reflections and stories about your mothers for it has given me the strength and determination to see my momma again. I can say that I had several good years with my momma and for that I am so thankful.

I love you all and appreciate each and every one of you. Enjoy and treasure your mothers this Mother's Day.


chosen.