Matt - may I make a suggestion?
I went thru a very bad time when I lost my Son in a motorcycle accident, then was diagnosed with cancer.
One thing that I found very helpfull was passage meditation.
Passage meditation is where you memorize a passage, and when your thoughts are out of control, you repeat the passage slowly over and over again for 30 minutes until your mind is flooded with the passage and you have control over your mind.
Being able to control your mind and your thoughts is a way to find peace. If you can control your thoughts, you can choose your thoughts. If you can choose your thoughts, you can choose peace.
https://www.easwaran.org/learn-how-to-meditate.html
below is the passage I memorized to meditate on to help me bring my thoughts under my control:
The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.