[bbyrd009]

Amen. You might check your diet, too,
as that feeling sounds familiar, and has largely disappeared in me with
proper diet. BAM, get high if you gotta,
it's better than suicide.

I will say that there is a sense in which one
has to burn their personal house down,
to live with God, but you seem to be experiencing it pretty early.
Most...25? year olds just don't carry that much responsibility.
Ask for a week off and go camping. You are in my prayers.