Rhoni,
Thank you for answering questions that are very difficult to answer. The answers to those questions have changed as my walk with the Lord has changed. Prayer and fasting have been the essential elements of my growth in the Lord and helped me realize the fruit of the Spirit in my life.
I began to recite and meditate on
I Corinthians 13 every day. When I looked at the list of the fruit of the Spirit, I noticed that love was the first mentioned. It came to me that the reason it was first was I needed to put God first in my life for He was love. If I put Him (love) first than I would love others as He loved me.
It I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender by body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, the will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child . When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
It is necessary for us to surrender our lives in order to walk more deeply with Christ and to welcome in the fullness of His Spirit. The act of surrender involves our agendas and desires, which in turn allows us to surrender to others as God's servants on earth.
God tells us He wants us to turn from our evil ways. We should not be condemning one another; we should be evaluating our own lives and then serving others with a right spirit.
When we have His Spirit in us, we are guided by His love and the fruit of the Spirit. Those are a natural progression as we grow in our relationship with our Lord through prayer.