Some thoughts:
"Christ tells us, “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (
Mark 10:9; Matt. 19:6). Sounds rather straightforward.
This is a divine request, much like “do not kill”. However, note that Christ’s teaching that marriage may not be dissolved does not mean He’s saying it cannot occur. Mankind has always been free to obey or disobey God’s commandments. Man can dissolve his marriage if he chooses to. He can kill his fellow man, if he chooses to. In either case, he commits grievous sin and must seek repentance.
Put another way, this command from Christ is not a magical glue that holds the marriage together despite the unwillingness of one or both spouses."
"Regardless of their reasons (i.e. ignorance, despondency), many of those who choose not to obey this command from Christ resort to divorce, which essentially kills the marriage. In the eyes of the Church, this is obviously not a positive action or intervention. Rather, it dissolves the mini-Church formed through the marriage relationship and severs a bond that was meant to be indissoluble. Yet the Church can permit divorce and remarriage, per our Lord’s words in the Gospel of Matthew:
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.
Matthew 19:9
We see here that grievous sinful behavior can taint the completeness of the marriage relationship.
In other words, it is the offence that breaks the bond, not the divorce itself. According to the spirit of Orthodoxy, juridical obligation alone cannot maintain the unity of the married couple. Formal unity must be consistent with internal symphony between husband and wife.
When the couple can no longer salvage anything of this internal symphony, the bond that was originally considered indissoluble has already dissolved. Further, the Church recognizes there are cases in which marriage life has no content or may even lead to loss of the soul.
Saint John Chrysostom says in this regard: “better to break the covenant than to lose one’s soul”. Nevertheless, the divorce is a tragedy, the result of human weakness and sin."
"Oikonomia is based on Christ’s command to his apostles in
John 20: 22-23. The human marriage experience becomes impossible after the spiritual death of love. It is then that the Church – as the Body of Christ – with understanding and compassion and out of personal concern, can apply oikonomia by accepting the divorce and not rejecting the sinful believers, or depriving them of God’s mercy and further grace. Oikonomia exists for this express reason: that the weak sinner not be irrevocably banned from the Church communion. This is in accordance with Christ’s example, who came to save the lost.
Before the church authorities acknowledge the divorce via oikonomia, the couple should pursue pastoral counselling and attempt to reconcile. Only when this is no longer possible should oikonomia be exercised."
https://www.saintjohnchurch.org/rema...after-divorce/