[good samaritan]

Originally Posted by votivesoul

I thought it best to let this thread rest for a bit before responding, since, at least as it seems to me, things were getting perhaps a little too personal, and emotions and tensions were high. But I do not think that the conversation should be over, at least not yet, so I am writing all of this to say, that I intend to pick up where things left off, and at least, say my piece, even if no one else responds.

Good Samaritan,

Instead of bullet pointing, quid pro quo style, as we have been doing, I want to break from that formula, and just point out something that I sincerely hope you will take to heart.

You mentioned how you felt like you were being made to feel stupid. I asked you about it, and you responded as follows:




You then shared something personal from your own life, here:



More than anything, the thing I am trying to get across, and please tell me if the message was received (because it seems like it has not been), is that we have to be super careful about the kinds of things we communicate about others, especially people with autism.

Look what has transpired in this thread. One member called you a "nincompoop" and you conflated his response to you with mine, and assumed my initial question was a condemnation against you (which is wasn't). You confused my responses with Evangelist Benincasa's, towards Nicodemus' posts about the missionary and various OTC meds.

I am thinking that, because of what you share above, you have, perhaps unconsciously, internalized a harmful view of yourself that then gets triggered when you feel like people are treating you as if you are stupid.

I think you have formulated and incorrect opinion of me. I shared some personal things in order to make a point. I wasn't seeking sympathy nor was I being triggered by past hurts. I guess Jito just has a complex too. Your opinions have been posted as if you are the authority on the subject and anyone who disagrees is not only wrong, but abusive to children. You may try a different approach. Personally I don't mind the heat, I actually get alot out of the conversation. I can pick the bones out of my fish. I know you speak with some truth, but contrary to your posts, you don't have the authority on the subject.

Your mom and one of her exes thought you were mentally retarded. Do you suppose they treated you that way? Do you suppose you ever picked up on that treatment, even subconsciously, especially if it wasn't overt? Maybe you heard comments that you can't quite remember now, but that you know were about you, growing up?

The x that I spoke to you about, after 30years, he shows up visiting our church. He has some physical disabilities and last summer I mowed his yard for free most of the summer. I bear no ill will toward him and I cannot say of anything he said to me when I was a kid to make me feel stupid. Although, I feel like I could write a 1,000 page book on offenses and hardships. That has made me into the person I am today.

I admit, I am only speculating, and being somewhat rhetorical. You don't have to answer anything.

But for the sake of argument, let's just say that some of what I just wrote above is true. Do you see how damaging even the slightest hint from parents and family members and other adults in one's life can seriously psychologically injure a child?

So, put yourself in the shoes of an autistic. Try to understand how it would feel if you knew that people around you think you're broken, damaged, afflicted, possessed.

It might feel very much like how you felt when your mom's ex told you they thought you were retarded. It might feel how you felt when seguirdojesus called you a nincompoop. It might feel how you felt when I challenged your assumptions. Because you became seriously triggered, defensive, and I would dare say, irrational.

Do you even realize your choice of words are insulting? Next time your advising someone, be sure to suggest that they are being irrational and triggered and see how that works for the conversation. If our conversation seems to have been heated it is because you have kept it going.

As far as autistic kids go I have been much more careful with my words then you have been on this forum. You really don't have to explain to me that we need to be careful what we say in front of kids. If I could give an example: kid comes up and says, "watch me throw the football". I say, "wow you can throw really good, you have a strong arm". Most of the autistism that I am dealing with is like a kids stuck at about 9 or 10yrs old. I try to treat them appropiately for their level of comprehension. I don't talk about their disabilities in front of them. If or when I pray for them, I try to obey what I feel to be the Holy Ghost. I have never experienced it to not be well recieved by the child. I don't know if you are aware, but lots of young chidren want prayer. Praying for them is not going to hurt them.

For the autistic, such things not only just hurt emotionally, they can bring about an endless torment of feelings that they may never be free of. Autistics can and often are, hyper-focused and hyper-fixated. Suicide rates among autistics are 3X higher than that of their non-autistic peers:

https://www.healthline.com/health-ne...utistic-people

2021 World's Strongest Man Tom Stoltman, a man with autism, was once told by a teacher in high school that there are no certainties in life and that thought alone drove him to suicidal ideation. You can go to youtube and look him up and hear it for yourself.

I don't know about accuracy of all these online statistcs, but this all the more reason to pray for them.

So, yes, I realize what I wrote is a lot to put on you, or anyone. But please understand why I wrote what I wrote to you. You are so busy looking at this through your own eyes, that you fail to see how all this could look through the eyes of the autistic.

the title of this thread is not the title of a sunday school lesson or a sermon I would preach. It was just a quick title to attract people to comment on the thread. So we can have dialogue. We all learn that way. Somewhere early in this thread I think you have perceived me to be cruel to autistic kids and you needed to set me free from my archaic way of thinking. It may not give you any peace at night, but I promise you that I am not going to be discussing demonic possession over these kids, nor will I try to scream and yell a devil out of them. I don't see Bible for having to do all of that anyway.

I am glad that you want to help and reach out to and be a healer for those autistics in your life. But the healer must at all times follow this creed:

First, do no harm.

And, at least by this thread, it very much seems that the approach you are taking is an approach that could very well end up violating that creed.

If prayer hurts people, then I guess I am a cruel person.

Please go back and reread what you wrote. You wrote that if KIDS become bitter and resentful and backslide, they have no one to blame for themselves. You weren't talking adults who made free choices to choose unforgiveness and anger. Kids don't have the luxury. If mom or dad or someone else is abusing them and ruining their life, and that ruination turns toward unbelief and anger and pain and hatred and self-loathing and you name it, did that child really have a choice?

So, yes, once a person is an adult, they are accountable for all their decisions, but you didn't say adult. You said kids. That one's on you, brother

.

Kids become grown ups. No matter what happened in your childhood it is not an excuse for you to repeat those mistakes. Jesus died on the cross for the curse of sin. I don't have to let those sins against me be a hangup in my future. It doesn't matter who you are, if you don't forgive and move forward, you won't receive forgiveness. that is the Bible. No matter how much you tippy toe around things, people are going to get hurt. If Autism makes people more susceptable to hurt and heartache, then that is all the more reason to pray for them.

You didn't misunderstand. Autistics do not need to be healed or delivered from their autism. They need to be healed and delivered from trauma, psychological and physical. There is a difference. So, if an autistic repents and receives the Holy Spirit and remission of sins, they do not stop being neuro-divergent. You may see marked improvements in behavior and ability and etc., but that is a result of the spiritual healing that comes with the atonement, from the many ways that autistic children suffer (even when it's unintentional) at the hands of various people, from their parents and family, from their schools, their medical professionals, and their clergy.

I disagree. You choose to believe that autism is not an infirmity, but that it is just a different way of how people think. The whole course of this dialogue you have demonstrated some of the reasons why they need healing.

It is sad, and I hope you understand better where I am coming from. If you do not take away anything else from this post or my coents in the entirety of this thread, please consider the possibility that I am not just speaking from some theoretical position of study, but from many lived experiences.

Take care, brother, and I hope everything works out for you.

If I have offended you because of someone that is close to you I am truly sorry. Sometimes we have the freedom to say what we think on an online forum like this because we have no personal connections to one another. In a way it is good because we are more likely to get peoples true opinions in this fashion. I don't want to forget that we are real people and that we must be careful to not causes offences. Thank you for the conversation.