FINAL PAGE.................
Throughout the two days, many appeals were made to “fill out an application.” I looked at one. It is
indeed shorter and simpler than that of the UPCI. Now lest you think I didn’t see any good in this affair,
let me assure that I saw a LOT of good. Perhaps I’ll deal with that another day. One area, as an
example, is their view on World Missions. I happen to agree with them that the only way to fulfill the
Great Commission is to IDENTIFY and ASSIST native ministries. I think those are the terms they used.
There was a lot of other great stuff too.
Friday evening was set apart for the prince of their preachers to rally the troops and send everyone
home with a rousing message. I really wanted to hear Bro. Johnny Godair. My mother had told me
often that she admired him, thought he was a great man, and enjoyed his preaching. Although I was in
the UPCI for most of my life (Indeed, I was born at Apostolic Bible Institute), I don’t know if I ever heard
Bro. Johnny. I was pumped and excited to get this opportunity. After I ate supper by my lonesome,
missing my sweet, little wife, I got to church and was about the fifth person there. I found my seat,
started reading my little book and waited.
The master of ceremonies was one of Bro. Johnny’s preacher boys, I think. He had been instructed, so
he said, to keep the preliminaries short. He did. In fact, he asked Bro. Godair if he’d kept them short
enough. Once he got his approving nod from Bro. Godair, he launched into one of the most wicked
pastimes of Oneness Pentecostals, and that is the person-worship they are addicted to. Perhaps it isn’t
just Oneness Pentecostals, but I’m afraid it’s a fatal mark of Cain for all religious bodies which indulge it.
For the next twenty minutes we were regaled with how wonderful Bro. Johnny is, was, and will be. This
boy filled the place with such excessive accolades that one of the truly faithful which was sitting next to
me started huffing about the excess of it all.
Now I’ve been to a lot of district conferences and general conferences and I’ve been exposed to some of
the most extreme forms of this ego-stroking when the crowd is asked to stand, to clap, and almost to
bow before the august personages of the superintendent. Yep, this from a narcissistic people who
proclaim themselves to be exalters of Jesus Christ above all else. I can’t recall, however, being exposed
to anything as excessive as this, and it wasn’t even that eloquent. To his credit, Bro. Johnny joked about
it, but he really should have run down into the audience, rending his clothing like Paul and Silas. I really
think he chose the young man because he knew this might happen.
Bro. Godair chose
Obadiah 11 as his text and then proceed to disregard it until the very last part of his
message when he referred very briefly to it. What happened next was a very fiery defense of the
proposition to which the Tulsa conference was dedicated – the apostolic life-style chosen by these men.
That’s the bottom line. They wish to preserve a lifestyle. To this end, Bro. Johnny hammered on
everything that is a familiar part of this creed – dresses below the knees on women, sleeves below the
elbows on men and women, uncut hair on women, cut hair (off the collar) on men (he didn’t mention
off the ears), uncolored hair on women (what about men?), no jewelry for women (saves money for that
new bass boat to go fishing with your preacher buddies), no makeup for women, no mixed swimming,
no television, no Hollywood, no movies, to DVDs, AND….AND….AND, he finally got around to ME! NO
FACIAL HAIR. I was watching the poor little photographer who was dutifully taking pictures of all these
events. He stopped stock still, looked a little confused and frightened. FOR ME…I felt every eye in the
place turning toward me, even the eyes in the backs of people’s heads.
There I stood. Naked before God and men. With my goatee. My chest started heaving. My pulse
raced. I fought and fought and fought the impulse to race to the alter and proclaim before one and all
that I repented of my sin for being a heretic. No matter that Jesus gave His back to the smiters and his
cheeks to those who plucked off the hair. No matter that I was actually a model for their assertion that
a man should look as different from a woman as possible. Don’t you think that beards are distinctively
male? And perhaps a “clean shaven” face is more like a woman’s? Oh well, I know I’m probably in deep
trouble for even suggesting this.
I will conclude by making two observations. First of all, I wanted to be a part of history in the making
and attending this. I’ve been around long enough to remember the formation of the Angry Man’s
Fellowship (AMF). Where are they today? The average age of the SIX is 63, I think. I would suspect that
is pretty close to the average age of the entire crowd. If they don’t propagate and/or attract a LOT of
youth, this group is going to be extinct in 10-12 years. For the most part, this crowd is beyond the years
of child-bearing. Better hope that God’s promise to Abraham and Sarah works well for these brethren.
Secondly, I’ve been out of the UPCI on the OTHER side of this equation and learned that crowd isn’t all
that desirable either. I was really longing for something profound, something that would stir me,
something that would arouse, once again, the experiences I knew as a young man, the kind of
experiences I have in my church, but am failing to find among the people of my heritage. I was looking
the sort of commitment PLUS worship and praise which has been a chief characteristic of my heritage. I
found the worship and praise STALE! It was, pardon me, Pavlovic. I’m going to choose a line from dear
Bro. Coon and tell you, if you can’t understand that, then I can’t help you.
I have to observe that the brethren on the other side, the GNCM, have far better music and far better
worship and praise than I found in Tulsa. I’ve concluded that the answer isn’t in the GNCM, the UPCI, or
in the WPF. My trip to Tulsa wasn’t a waste of time. I was able to renew my connection with a great
number of brethren. I would suspect that out of the crowd of 1,000, there were probably 2/3 there who
were observers, like myself. If the WPF is able to sign up a third or even half of this group, this is a
significant statement to Bro. Haney and his honchos at WEC. At the end of the Friday night service, they
raised almost $100,000.00, a hefty accomplishment by any stretch of the imagination. I’m pondering
attending the next meeting in the Spring, in Branson, MO. If a copy of this gets out, I’m sure I’ll not just
be DETAINED, I’ll be ARRESTED by the goons who are only too willing to suck up to the powers that be.