[Rico]

Ok. I'm going to make a confession on this thread. About 20 years ago, when I was still single, and prior to my conversion, I became friends with a couple that I met through another friend of mine. At first I was only friends with the male in the couple. We'd get together and drink, smoke some weed, and generally party while listening to Johnny Cash records. I didn't like his wife much because all she did was complain and yell at him all the time. She didn't like me much I would tell him he needed to learn how to tell her to shut her big mouth while we were partying. Nothing ruins a good buzz like a loud mouthed nagging wife.

Anyway, somehow I ended up becoming friends with her too. Over the course of about a year and half we started getting closer and closer. So much so that we'd talk on the phone a lot and even visit each other when he wasn't around. Eventually, she opened up to me about her feelings regarding her marriage and how unhappy she was with him. The closer we got as friends, the more we shared our feelings with each other. I had had a bad relationship with my first wife, so I understood how she was feeling about her marriage.

Well, the day finally came when our talking turned into passion and I found myself having an affair with this lady. We made up any excuse we could think of to get her out of the house so we could carry on this love affair we were having.

Things ended between us when I finally told her she had to make a choice between me or her husband. She didn't have the heart to leave him because she had a baby girl with him and she knew that her leaving him would devastate him, and he'd most likely end up on drugs or killing himself.

Fast forward to after my conversion. As I studied the Bible and learned about the different things it had to say concerning marital relations, I realized that even if I wouldn't have taken things to an actual physical level with this woman that I would still have been guilt of committing adultery. My affair with her was happening on an emotional level long before we decided to get into bed with each other.

Realizing this helped me to put some standards in place. I know. I know. Standards can sometimes be a four letter word for some of us. What I decided was that I would never allow myself to fall into that kind of trap with another woman again. So, there are certain things I won't do. I will not do anything more than shake a woman's hand. Occasionally I have been known to give an elder sister a hug, though. I won't come into a man's home when he is not there. I will not ride in a car with a woman alone, except for immediate family members. I avoid getting into too many details with another woman if she is talking about any problems in her marriage. I also am very careful about what I talk about with the women around here in pms. I also make a point of letting my wife know about the things I talk with other women about on the phone.

I don't have to read this book to know what the author is talking about. I've lived it. My advice to all men and women is that you be careful in your friendships with people of the opposite sex. I did not start out with an affair on my mind when I became friends with this woman. It developed over time. As Christians, we have a huge target on our backs, and the enemy of our souls would love nothing better than to see any one of us ruined through ending up in a love affair. He's out to steal, kill, and destroy all that he can. Thank God for His forgiving power.