Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhoni
The reason for this thread is because I have been in close communication in the past couple of years with many single's [never been married] between the ages of 40-55 years old.
The feeling I get from talking to them is one of hopelessness, an unbelief in the existence of romantic love, and a helplessness as to them finding the right mate, therefore they are willing to settle for people and things they would never have settled for in the past.
My question for those who really care to answer is this: Do you think this is a sign or our times? Is it unrealistic expectations? Is it that we really don't believe in true romantic...one in a million love? Do we even know how to begin our search for love, does it exist, is it a fallacy? Do you really think you could marry a number of people and be happy or is there one 'soulmate' that you should/could find?
What do you tell these who have never been married who feel that going into their late adulthood that there is hope?
Sincerely, Rhoni
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Not knowing the people you know I can't say anything definite about their situation but I can say a few things in general.
1. This is a selfish generation and those who even really know what love is and how to love are few and far between. Not non-existent... just few and far between.
2. I think sometimes people who are out looking for "romantic love" are looking for some googly eyed relationship where they float around on cloud nine. That isn't romantic love. That is a dream world handed to us by books, tv etc. Romantic love is a day by day, feet on the ground, through good times & bad love for someone you are glad to have by your side. Romantic love is a friendship first and a friendship last. All the rest is just sandwiched inside the fact that, when the day is done, these 2 people just love to be with each other. THAT... my friend... after 16 years of marriage you are still excited when your best friend comes home from work... is as romantic as it gets.
3. Taking point 1 & 2 into mind I think people are looking for a forest and the trees keep getting in the way. I see so many people who are looking their soul mate in the face but just can't see it because their friend is standing there.
As I said... I can't say anything definitive for the people you speak of because I don't know them. But all too often a search for some dreamy definition of romantic love cheats people out of a life time of romance.
Romantic love is a choice you make when you find that friend (of the opposite sex, of course
) who is always by your side and you couldn't dream of doing without.