Quote:
Originally Posted by *AQuietPlace*
I really disagree with this. People in the poster's situation can feel, and truly be, extremely isolated in their "real life". Do you honestly feel that most church leadership is going to be understanding of his questions? In a perfect world, yes, but in 'real life' it's usually not possible to truly have an unbiased discussion about these issues with your church leadership.
Battles like this very often have to be fought inside your own heart and head. You usually have to come to these decisions on your own, with much prayer, of course. And forums like these can be a great benefit as a sounding board.
It has been an INCREDIBLE benefit to me to know that I'm not the only one who faced these questions. And hearing other people's stories, hearing how they dealt with their own personal situations has been a great help, too.
That's just my perspective.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *AQuietPlace*
I really disagree with this. People in the poster's situation can feel, and truly be, extremely isolated in their "real life". Do you honestly feel that most church leadership is going to be understanding of his questions? In a perfect world, yes, but in 'real life' it's usually not possible to truly have an unbiased discussion about these issues with your church leadership.
Battles like this very often have to be fought inside your own heart and head. You usually have to come to these decisions on your own, with much prayer, of course. And forums like these can be a great benefit as a sounding board.
It has been an INCREDIBLE benefit to me to know that I'm not the only one who faced these questions. And hearing other people's stories, hearing how they dealt with their own personal situations has been a great help, too.
That's just my perspective.
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I misread the actual question, but in regards with dealing with leadership or membership standards ... it really doesn't matter anyone's opinion as to what they should/shouldn't be. Coming to a forum to ask questions about this will only cause more questions and division between the individual and church leadership. If in disagreement, the only solution is either to work with them to change or find another place.
Again, I do see that wasn't the question posed, though the question posed has no easy solution either.
If your wife is not willing to leave, for whatever reason, then you're in a tough spot. I haven't personally experienced this, but I've had close friends in this situation.
One guy I knew wanted to leave for a new church, his wife wanted to remain with family and friends. It was a church she grew up in and didn't want to leave. At first he tried pushing and pulling her to leave, which caused a lot of stress and friction. Finally, he decided that though he didn't agree, he would keep the family happy and together and stay instead of leaving.
You may find others who have been in a similar situation, and can share how they made their decision. The decision will be found with prayer and made between you and your wife.