I've had this problem for years. But I'm quite open with it. It started as a licensed UPC preacher. I served as youth pastor, asst. pastor, and even pastored two UPC churches and never quite agreed with all the standard issues and also discovered myself to be what this forum calls a "one-stepper" but fully committed
Acts 2:38 believer. I finally turned in my UPC license in 2004 and joined the Global Network of Christian Ministries.
However, we had a huge problem finding an Apostolic church that would accept us without the outward standards. We went 8 months without going to church at all. I would preach upon invitation only and there were not very many of those. My uncle pastored a local Church of God of Prophecy, which is the church that I grew up in. I had converted to UPC while in the Marines. He kept trying to get me to be his youth pastor. I kept telling him that I was oneness and he truthfully didn't care and neither did the church. So we became his youth pastor. After a while I was asked to pastor a COGOP. I had to meet their board of Bishops. I told them that I was oneness...and they didn't care either...they ordained me. So I pastored a COGOP and currently serve as youth pastor at a local COGOP and I am very much oneness..but the church is part of an organization that would be considered Trinitarian. I'm about to baptize 10 of my youth group and I will definitly call the name of Jesus over them as they go in the water. So I remain in this category of being in a church where I don't agree or accept the doctrine that is listed as the "official" belief.