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04-22-2017, 08:31 PM
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Funny But True Church Stories
Today my pastor told a funny story I thought I would share and start a thread where you can share your funny but true story as well.
My pastor is in his mid 30's and pastors in the town where he went to College before he was a Christian.
He said that not long ago a woman who is a church member and around his age came to him with this story. She said she had invited a friend with her to church who knew nothing about our church. When they arrived my pastor happened to walk by not too far away and the guest pointed to him and said "ughhh!!! I went to college with him and he is a horrible person!!". The church member who invited her didn't tell her he was the pastor so she only found out after the praise and worship portion of the service was over and the pastor came to the platform to preach. She said the woman's face went white when she saw who was pastor. LOL!!!
By his own admission he was a horrible person when that woman knew him in college and thankfully she was very excited and pleased with what God has done in his life and now actually is a member of our church.
__________________
"I think some people love spiritual bondage just the way some people love physical bondage. It makes them feel secure. In the end though it is not healthy for the one who is lost over it or the one who is lives under the oppression even if by their own choice"
Titus2woman on AFF
"We did not wear uniforms. The lady workers dressed in the current fashions of the day, ...silks...satins...jewels or whatever they happened to possess. They were very smartly turned out, so that they made an impressive appearance on the streets where a large part of our work was conducted in the early years.
"It was not until long after, when former Holiness preachers had become part of us, that strict plainness of dress began to be taught.
"Although Entire Sanctification was preached at the beginning of the Movement, it was from a Wesleyan viewpoint, and had in it very little of the later Holiness Movement characteristics. Nothing was ever said about apparel, for everyone was so taken up with the Lord that mode of dress seemingly never occurred to any of us."
Quote from Ethel Goss (widow of 1st UPC Gen Supt. Howard Goss) book "The Winds of God"
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04-23-2017, 01:59 AM
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This is still that!
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Sebastian, FL
Posts: 9,756
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Re: Funny But True Church Stories
I have one, something a preacher said from the pulpit by accident, but I'm afraid its too risqué so I hesistate
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04-23-2017, 09:38 AM
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Administrator
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Re: Funny But True Church Stories
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amanah
I have one, something a preacher said from the pulpit by accident, but I'm afraid its too risqué so I hesistate
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I have at least one of those stories myself and not just a story. I witnessed it first hand. However we need to keep things G rated on here so lets pass on anything some might take offense at.
__________________
"I think some people love spiritual bondage just the way some people love physical bondage. It makes them feel secure. In the end though it is not healthy for the one who is lost over it or the one who is lives under the oppression even if by their own choice"
Titus2woman on AFF
"We did not wear uniforms. The lady workers dressed in the current fashions of the day, ...silks...satins...jewels or whatever they happened to possess. They were very smartly turned out, so that they made an impressive appearance on the streets where a large part of our work was conducted in the early years.
"It was not until long after, when former Holiness preachers had become part of us, that strict plainness of dress began to be taught.
"Although Entire Sanctification was preached at the beginning of the Movement, it was from a Wesleyan viewpoint, and had in it very little of the later Holiness Movement characteristics. Nothing was ever said about apparel, for everyone was so taken up with the Lord that mode of dress seemingly never occurred to any of us."
Quote from Ethel Goss (widow of 1st UPC Gen Supt. Howard Goss) book "The Winds of God"
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04-23-2017, 04:57 PM
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Believe, Obey, Declare
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Tupelo Ms.
Posts: 3,968
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Re: Funny But True Church Stories
I was like 3 and acting up in church during the sermon so my mother was taking me down the aisle to the foyer. I went limp... total dead weight. My mother was hissing in a whisper,"Don't you do this to me!!!"
My grandmother saw what was going on and jumped up and ran to the back, scooping me up along the way.
*Cue flailing wildly screaming "PRAY CHURCH PRAY" as she exited out the back.*
__________________
Blessed are the merciful for they SHALL obtain mercy.
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04-23-2017, 05:10 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 17,807
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Re: Funny But True Church Stories
Quote:
Originally Posted by CC1
I have at least one of those stories myself and not just a story. I witnessed it first hand. However we need to keep things G rated on here so lets pass on anything some might take offense at.
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Too late! I'm already offended at you people joking around and having fun in church! For shame!
J/K 
We had a "professional" dancer for Jesus when I was growing up. He was, forgive me if I don't use the correct term, mentally challenged. Once service got going and if someone started dancing in the front, he walk up next to them and have a dance off. He'd watch them dance, then he would dance for a minute; stop and watched them dance, then start dancing again. He also came to church once with a Barbie doll stuck in his pants.
My brother used to roll on the floor. Once a man was doing laps around the church and my brother felt something, jumped off the platform and started rolling on the floor. Dude didn't know what hit him when he came around the corner. My brother rolled his ankles and BAM! Dude hit the floor, hard.
Last edited by n david; 04-23-2017 at 05:13 PM.
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04-23-2017, 09:27 PM
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Re: Funny But True Church Stories
LOL!!!! Those are great and exactly the kind of stories I was hoping for.
__________________
"I think some people love spiritual bondage just the way some people love physical bondage. It makes them feel secure. In the end though it is not healthy for the one who is lost over it or the one who is lives under the oppression even if by their own choice"
Titus2woman on AFF
"We did not wear uniforms. The lady workers dressed in the current fashions of the day, ...silks...satins...jewels or whatever they happened to possess. They were very smartly turned out, so that they made an impressive appearance on the streets where a large part of our work was conducted in the early years.
"It was not until long after, when former Holiness preachers had become part of us, that strict plainness of dress began to be taught.
"Although Entire Sanctification was preached at the beginning of the Movement, it was from a Wesleyan viewpoint, and had in it very little of the later Holiness Movement characteristics. Nothing was ever said about apparel, for everyone was so taken up with the Lord that mode of dress seemingly never occurred to any of us."
Quote from Ethel Goss (widow of 1st UPC Gen Supt. Howard Goss) book "The Winds of God"
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04-24-2017, 08:39 AM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: North of the Rio Grande
Posts: 2,815
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Re: Funny But True Church Stories
I remember when i was an assistant pastor, I was sitting up on the platform while the Pastor was preaching. There was a young man who was sitting up on the front row who habitually had, uh, gastric problems.
Like bad problems. He was so bad they accused him of being able to knock maggots off of a garbage truck.
Well, he all of a sudden started scrunching down in the front seat like he had done something really really bad.
I watched as he cleared three complete pews out as people started moving. It was bad, but funny.
__________________
WHO IS BREXIT AND IS HE A TRINITARIAN?- James LeDeay 10/30/16
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04-24-2017, 08:41 AM
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Loren Adkins
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Kennewick Wa
Posts: 4,669
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Re: Funny But True Church Stories
Been around church my whole life, and seen and heard some good ones.
We always greeted visitors by name on Sunday mornings. The assistant pastor was greeting the visitors when he said this, "we want to welcome the Harry Butts, and the whole Damm family."
I always said God has a sense of humor. Only God would see fit that both these families were in attendance that day.
__________________
Study the word with and open heart For if you do, Truth Will Prevail
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04-24-2017, 08:42 AM
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Registered Member
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Location: North of the Rio Grande
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Re: Funny But True Church Stories
Another time I remember an elder retired pastor who was preaching a smaller conference in a midwest state.
He was getting with it, the people were preaching with him.
So he decided to all of a sudden roll in the floor. Gotta hand it to him, he did a great front roll! But..... as he went over he split his drawers!
His wife was mortified!!!
She just shook her head and said "He does stuff like this all the time!"
It turned out quite funny!
__________________
WHO IS BREXIT AND IS HE A TRINITARIAN?- James LeDeay 10/30/16
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04-24-2017, 09:47 AM
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Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 31,124
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Re: Funny But True Church Stories
This didn't happen in an Apostolic church but my uncle-in-law who is an Episcopal bishop tells a story of something funny that happened to him.
They have a tradition wherein the priest will take to the microphone and say, "Peace be with you.", and the congregation will respond, "And also with you."
Well, one day David spoke into the microphone and it wasn't working. So he raised his voice just a little towards the sound man and said, "There's something wrong with the microphone.", and the congregation responded, "And also with you." LOL!
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