We live in a codependent society, and this model is emerging as a powerful one for identifying areas for personal growth. "Religious" people often become codependent thinking that this serves God.
See that we are all
Interdependent, and that this is not Codependency. May this broaden your understanding of human interpersonal relationships, and lead you to a better understanding of human nature.
"How can you tell if you are a Codependent -- with all the differing definitions out there? This may be difficult to realize, despite 40 years of public documentation and support on the subject; but it is quite prevalent, especially in more developed countries, and among certain (caregiving) professions, or developed as a result of religious affiliation. Children are more codependent, of necessity; but adult Codependency is simply unpleasant -- mostly for you, but also everyone around you.
Although an understanding of Codependence is difficult to condense into a definition, a good working definition of Codependence might be, "Underdeveloped self esteem (no boundaries) combined with an inappropriate caring for others (invading a boundary), and an inappropriate reliance on another's response (invading a boundary), in a negatively reinforcing loop". You are a caring person, and there is nothing wrong with nurturing; we are all interdependent. Just a little self-examination, and redirection, may have you on a more fulfilling path.
You could be said to be largely over your Codependency when you recognize just how good you are! Codependents are usually highly capable and self~motivated people. The only affirmation you really need is your own; recognizing that kudos from a respected peer are always nice. If "love yourself" makes you uncomfortable, don't expect others to magically love you. Unfortunately, Codependency is difficult to see in yourself; if a friend has directed you here, or sent you this, take heed, as such a friend may be your best mirror. Awareness is a major first step to a new concept, and awareness alone often alleviates many symptoms.
It is important to note that most people exhibit codependent behaviors in certain situations, and a snapshot of most anyone might be seen below; this is different from being a Codependent (capital C), who may be hard to find below! (don't worry, you're surely in here somewhere) This article is to help you find your Codependency, and it is not recommended that you confront or attempt an "intervention" for someone else, even if you know for a fact that they are a Codependent--while a very few may respond well to a book (such as: Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie) being placed on their desk, or a link to this article in their email, for most, especially those who identify very strongly or completely with their ego (your ego is not who you are), it will feel like an attack; we are dealing with the human condition here.
Understand that if you come from a Codependent family, you have been practicing a form of "violent communication" for probably your whole life. Look into "Non-Violent Communication", and give it a chance; this is how mature people talk to each other. Practice-Nonviolent-Communication..."
Introduction; body at
http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-if-You-Are-Codependent
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