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  #1391  
Old 10-14-2014, 09:07 AM
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Timmy Timmy is offline
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Re: Timmy Talk

Here are some things that Christianity teaches. (At least your version of it does, AFF. ) You should own it! Be proud of it! Christianity is the best religion in the world!

1. Every one of us is a sinner.

2. Every sinner deserves punishment. Really horrible punishment. Eternal torment. Yes. That's what we deserve for sinning. And we can't not sin, no matter how hard we try. It's pointless to try to be good: we can't. Even if we think we're good, we're not. Our righteousness is filthy rags.

3. Number 2 is because God is so holy and perfect, that He can't not punish sin, and punish it severely. You know, because we aren't perfect. And God is. That's why.

4. There's a way to get out of our derseved punishment. Turns out, if someone else is punished for us, we don't have to be punished. Isn't that awesome? Oh, but it can't be anyone. It has to be someone who doesn't deserve to be punished. Namely, God Himself. If God dies instead of us, and stays dead for three days, we're off the hook. And of course, God did this. He died and stayed dead for three days. So we could escape our just punishment. Isn't that cool?

5. Oh, but not everyone is issued that Get Out Of Hell Free card. Only some of us. A small part of us, actually. There is a "way" to get it, but that "way" is "narrow". Only a few of us will find it.

6. God gave us a book. An instruction manual. One that some people claim isn't very clear, but all anyone has to do is ask God to explain it, and He will. And anyone who says they did that, but understands it incorrectly, well, I guess they weren't sincere. Or something. And this book tells us how to get the card mentioned in 5. So you better understand it!

7. God does miracles. He'll do them for you. You just have to ask. Oh, but don't ask "amiss". Then He won't. Oh, and you have to ask something that's in accordance with His will. If He doesn't want to do something, He won't. Oh, and have faith. Believe you will get what you ask for, and, well, if all the other requirements are met, you will get it.

So. Any argument? Did I get anything wrong? I'm kinda prone to doing that, it seems.

Oh, and Mike, go ahead and point to this post as an example of me casting doubt. It is exactly what you believe. But I'm not allowed to list these things, exactly as you believe them, because, well, uh, I guess that's "mockery". If I got something wrong, be sure and let me know. And stating something accurately but "mockingly", if that's what you would say, doesn't count. Accurate is accurate.
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  #1392  
Old 10-14-2014, 09:38 AM
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Re: Timmy Talk

Oh, I expect some will not like how I worded the "God died" item. Replace God with Jesus, then. Better? (Never mind that Jesus is God, as item 8 might have said. )
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Hebrews 13:23 Know ye that our brother Timothy is set at liberty

More New Stuff in Timmy Talk!
My Countdown Counting down to: Rapture. Again.
Why am I not surprised?
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  #1393  
Old 10-14-2014, 04:19 PM
MarcBee MarcBee is offline
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Re: Timmy Talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timmy View Post
Here are some things that Christianity teaches. (At least your version of it does, AFF. ) You should own it! Be proud of it! Christianity is the best religion in the world!

1. Every one of us is a sinner.

2. Every sinner deserves punishment. Really horrible punishment. Eternal torment. Yes. That's what we deserve for sinning. And we can't not sin, no matter how hard we try. It's pointless to try to be good: we can't. Even if we think we're good, we're not. Our righteousness is filthy rags.

3. Number 2 is because God is so holy and perfect, that He can't not punish sin, and punish it severely. You know, because we aren't perfect. And God is. That's why.

4. There's a way to get out of our derseved punishment. Turns out, if someone else is punished for us, we don't have to be punished. Isn't that awesome? Oh, but it can't be anyone. It has to be someone who doesn't deserve to be punished. Namely, God Himself. If God dies instead of us, and stays dead for three days, we're off the hook. And of course, God did this. He died and stayed dead for three days. So we could escape our just punishment. Isn't that cool?

5. Oh, but not everyone is issued that Get Out Of Hell Free card. Only some of us. A small part of us, actually. There is a "way" to get it, but that "way" is "narrow". Only a few of us will find it.

6. God gave us a book. An instruction manual. One that some people claim isn't very clear, but all anyone has to do is ask God to explain it, and He will. And anyone who says they did that, but understands it incorrectly, well, I guess they weren't sincere. Or something. And this book tells us how to get the card mentioned in 5. So you better understand it!

7. God does miracles. He'll do them for you. You just have to ask. Oh, but don't ask "amiss". Then He won't. Oh, and you have to ask something that's in accordance with His will. If He doesn't want to do something, He won't. Oh, and have faith. Believe you will get what you ask for, and, well, if all the other requirements are met, you will get it.

So. Any argument? Did I get anything wrong? I'm kinda prone to doing that, it seems.

Oh, and Mike, go ahead and point to this post as an example of me casting doubt. It is exactly what you believe. But I'm not allowed to list these things, exactly as you believe them, because, well, uh, I guess that's "mockery". If I got something wrong, be sure and let me know. And stating something accurately but "mockingly", if that's what you would say, doesn't count. Accurate is accurate.
And there you go again, Timmy, being all BITTER and stuff. How dare you express in non-theological words what 1 billion people believe to be true, based on faith alone.

I like how you say #4. I would willingly go along with being crucified while fully informed that my superpowers were guaranteed to bring me back in (less than) 3 days, and after that to know I'd go on and live forever as a god. And then influential men would write and preach about what a great sacrifice I (or my Father) made to let me be dead for three days? And only had to live a nice, miraculous earthly life for 30 years without even having the same kind of sin nature than those poor humans did have to wrestle with? Yet, the Ultimate Sacrifice, really? Maybe it's a bigger miracle to get so many folks to call that admirable.

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Deeply JN Apostolic: 1978-1999.
Happily agnostic/atheist 2011 to present.

Good news! The gospel boils down to, "Love me
or I will destroy you." --A god.

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  #1394  
Old 10-14-2014, 04:25 PM
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Timmy Timmy is offline
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Re: Timmy Talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarcBee View Post
And there you go again, Timmy, being all BITTER and stuff. How dare you express in non-theological words what 1 billion people believe to be true, based on faith alone.

I like how you say #4. I would willingly go along with being crucified while fully informed that my superpowers were guaranteed to bring me back in (less than) 3 days, and after that to know I'd go on and live forever as a god. And then influential men would write and preach about what a great sacrifice I (or my Father) made to let me be dead for three days? And only had to live a nice, miraculous earthly life for 30 years without even having the same kind of sin nature than those poor humans did have to wrestle with? Yet, the Ultimate Sacrifice, really? Maybe it's a bigger miracle to get so many folks to call that admirable.

Still waiting for corrections.
__________________
Hebrews 13:23 Know ye that our brother Timothy is set at liberty

More New Stuff in Timmy Talk!
My Countdown Counting down to: Rapture. Again.
Why am I not surprised?
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  #1395  
Old 10-15-2014, 11:41 AM
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Timmy Timmy is offline
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Re: Timmy Talk

__________________
Hebrews 13:23 Know ye that our brother Timothy is set at liberty

More New Stuff in Timmy Talk!
My Countdown Counting down to: Rapture. Again.
Why am I not surprised?
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  #1396  
Old 10-15-2014, 12:02 PM
MarcBee MarcBee is offline
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Re: Timmy Talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timmy View Post
I shall correct you then, in my former Christian voice.

In point #4, you spelled "deserved" as "derseved." The book of James (2:10) teaches that in God's economy, an offense in even the smallest point of law is essentially the same as if you had offended in every point. So even the very text of your question proves beyond doubt that you do deserve damnation, you misspeller you! Also, since you are obviously unrepentant about your error, it's probable that god himself has additionally sent you a strong delusion in order to make you continue to sinfully misspell more words. (IIThes. 2:11)

__________________
_______________________________________

Deeply JN Apostolic: 1978-1999.
Happily agnostic/atheist 2011 to present.

Good news! The gospel boils down to, "Love me
or I will destroy you." --A god.


Last edited by MarcBee; 10-15-2014 at 12:05 PM.
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  #1397  
Old 10-15-2014, 12:08 PM
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Timmy Timmy is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2007
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Re: Timmy Talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarcBee View Post
I shall correct you then, in my former Christian voice.

In point #4, you spelled "deserved" as "derseved." The book of James (2:10) teaches that in God's economy, an offense in even the smallest point of law is essentially the same as if you had offended in every point. So even the very text of your question proves beyond doubt that you do deserve damnation, you misspeller you! Also, since you are obviously unrepentant about your error, it's probable that god himself has additionally sent you a strong delusion in order to make you continue to sinfully misspell more words. (IIThes. 2:11)

Thakn you!
__________________
Hebrews 13:23 Know ye that our brother Timothy is set at liberty

More New Stuff in Timmy Talk!
My Countdown Counting down to: Rapture. Again.
Why am I not surprised?
Reply With Quote
  #1398  
Old 10-15-2014, 01:17 PM
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MawMaw MawMaw is offline
of 8!! :)


 
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Re: Timmy Talk

Shame on you Timmy and MarcBee for making such a mockery
of my Saviour and Lord Jesus Christ! And for the mockery of those
of us who call ourselves followers of Christ. Shame on you!!
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  #1399  
Old 10-15-2014, 07:26 PM
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FlamingZword FlamingZword is offline
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Re: Timmy Talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by MawMaw View Post
Shame on you Timmy and MarcBee for making such a mockery
of my Saviour and Lord Jesus Christ! And for the mockery of those
of us who call ourselves followers of Christ. Shame on you!!
But these speak evil of those things which they know not: but what they know naturally, as brute beasts, in those things they corrupt themselves

clouds they are without water, carried about of winds; trees whose fruit withereth, without fruit, twice dead, plucked up by the roots; Raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame; wandering stars, to whom is reserved the blackness of darkness for ever.

the Lord cometh...to execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are ungodly among them of ..all their hard speeches which ungodly sinners have spoken against him. These are murmurers, complainers, walking after their own lusts; and their mouth speaketh great swelling words.
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  #1400  
Old 10-15-2014, 07:32 PM
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mfblume mfblume is offline
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Re: Timmy Talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by MawMaw View Post
Shame on you Timmy and MarcBee for making such a mockery
of my Saviour and Lord Jesus Christ! And for the mockery of those
of us who call ourselves followers of Christ. Shame on you!!
It's a serious case of bitterness compounded by an extreme sort of personality.
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