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  #1  
Old 02-27-2008, 01:35 PM
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Blubayou Blubayou is offline
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You might be Pentecostal if ....

These are too Cute and sooooo true......

You Are Pentecostal If...


1. The amount of money you spend on hairspray exceeds your gas bill.
2. Your Pastor announces midweek services EVERY Sunday night.
3. You (or the ladies you know) can swim in a denim skirt and still have fun.
4. Your brother or sister in the Lord hugs you right in the middle of Wal-Mart.
5. The musicians at your church can tear it up, but none of them can read sheet music.
6. You have 50 pair of church shoes.
7. You are adept at stopping runs in stockings with just about anything.
8. You are considered an old maid if you are not married by the age 25.
9. You consider bible college as higher education.
10. Running the aisle and jumping up and down is part of your exercise program.
11. A birthday party is a night on the town.
12. You could be an Olympic volleyball/softball player with all the practice from church functions. .
13. The pastor says, "With this thought, I close," or And I'm closing now." more than 3 times each service.
14. Your church choir moves like Kirk Franklin's group.
15. You have adequate respect for the power of flying hairpins.
16. Your feet have been stomped on at least 3 times during a service.
17. A run in your last pair of stocking is a national disaster.
18. You judge a church service by swollen eyes, rumpled clothes, and disheveled hair.
19. Your kids know how to eat any crunchy food quietly.
20. When shopping for shirts, you always run it through the "Praise the Lord", test.
21. Sunday means no cooking and no dish washing.
22. You can maneuver into a vehicle without messing up your hairdo.
23. Celebrating your 18th or 21st birthday doesn't mean much.
24. The employees at the restaurant near your church know you by name.
25. You can always find hairpins on the floor after a good service.
26. You can pronounce, Habakkuk.
27. Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays are the hardest days to wake up in the morning.
28. Your day of rest include 2 church services, choir practice, and Golden Corral.
29. Growing up you baptize your cousin and siblings several times in the swimming pool.
30. When your kids have baptized their dolls, cats and the dog.
31. You hear singing, shouting and preaching from your child's bedroom to their stuff animals and/or dolls.
32. Your 4 year old runs through Wal-Mart shouting, "Praise the Lord! *clap, clap* Yes, Lord! Yes, Lord! Thank you Jesus! Hallelujah!!"
33. Your tan line is below your knees.
34. You have made, eaten or sold more than your fair share of peanut brittle.
35. When camp meeting is your family's yearly planned vacation.
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  #2  
Old 02-27-2008, 01:39 PM
DividedThigh DividedThigh is offline
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Re: You might be Pentecostal if ....

wow, a whole new class of pentecostal red necks, so true, lol,dt
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  #3  
Old 02-27-2008, 01:47 PM
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dizzyde dizzyde is offline
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Re: You might be Pentecostal if ....

That there is cute!!
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  #4  
Old 02-27-2008, 02:09 PM
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OneAccord OneAccord is offline
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Re: You might be Pentecostal if ....

That is so funny! And, amazingly true!

One more-

You are called to the principals office for the deaded "talk" when your kids, while playing church at recess, is standing on a bench, laying hands on the "sick"!

True story. It was suggested that I "curb" our childrens exposure to church services!


Why is it, after you read, re-read, and proof-read, your posts, but you never see that one big mistake until you hit the "Submit" button?
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  #5  
Old 02-28-2008, 04:21 AM
OP_Carl OP_Carl is offline
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Re: You might be Pentecostal if ....

This is my favorite:

Quote:
33. Your tan line is below your knees




Quote:
Originally Posted by OneAccord View Post
Why is it, after you read, re-read, and proof-read, your posts, but you never see that one big mistake until you hit the "Submit" button?
Because life gives you the test before the lesson. Because wisdom is granted retroactively. And mostly - pay attention now, this one's important - because you're a goober. And I mean that in the nicest way possible!
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  #6  
Old 02-27-2008, 04:13 PM
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COOPER COOPER is offline
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Re: You might be Pentecostal if ....

Quote:
The musicians at your church can tear it up, but none of them can read sheet music.



Amen!
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  #7  
Old 02-27-2008, 04:31 PM
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Blubayou Blubayou is offline
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Re: You might be Pentecostal if ....

bump
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  #8  
Old 02-27-2008, 04:47 PM
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Neck Neck is offline
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Re: You might be Pentecostal if ....

If you are still watching the "Walton's" on TV reruns with the entire family. You are most likely Pentecostal.
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  #9  
Old 02-27-2008, 05:14 PM
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BrotherEastman BrotherEastman is offline
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Re: You might be Pentecostal if ....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Neckstadt View Post
If you are still watching the "Walton's" on TV reruns with the entire family. You are most likely Pentecostal.
Maybe a lukewarm pentecostal. LOL!
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  #10  
Old 02-27-2008, 06:26 PM
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Sam Sam is offline
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Re: You might be Pentecostal if ....

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherEastman View Post
Maybe a lukewarm pentecostal. LOL!
OK, rephrase that to use the word "monitor" instead of "TV."
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