Quote:
Originally Posted by Esaias
The tl;dr -
Government creates fake religion to keep the slaves from revolting, emasculating the men and making them weak. Read and believe your Bible and you are persona non grata because you took the red pill of all red pills.
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Thank you for being so steadfast and stable. You've been such a source of strength for me in a world and church culture gone mad and I need to honor you for your dedication to the pursuit of the unvarnished truth...neither deviating to the right nor the left.
Have you ever expereinced a sudden spiritual shift, where what you once walked in only in part, you suddenly walk in the whole?
Im not talking about a manic state or a hype....but a sudden clarity and a strength and stability?
Im not asking you this lightly, but there is so much gatekeeping with ministry and the callings that are placed on us.
I know we all have our different individual processes of development that we go through...but I just had the realization that after the breakthrough and victory I had with me and my wifes situation about a week ago...since then everything has been different.
There is a permanence to this....like something fully formed and established...a clarity to my thinking that Ive always reached for but never been able to fully engage and keep it.
I had an interaction with my neighbors boyfriend...we had just met...literally out of the gate manifesting...but it wasnt an aggression like Ive seen before in others when its happened to me....and I didnt realize it until afterwards...but it was the same kind of begging for help like the man in the tombs when Jesus showed up...just out of the gate confessing and revealing addictions and urges spilling his guts shaking and trembling.
I didn't know what to do with that...usually when Im dealing with a demonic manifestation Im usually on the defense and its aggressive...and Im realizing that Ive seen this behavior before when I used to do rideshare and work retail as well.
So thats something that Im realizing is new and also my brother in law was raised hardcore fundy Baptist.
Had him a Jesus encounter in his kitchen while he was washing his dishes and worshipping...just praising the Lord...he ended up on his face uncontrollably weeping and praying in the Spirit.
I can count on one hand the number of conversations Ive had with the guy....so hes out of his depth with this experience. Hes been going to a Spirit filled church North of Charlotte so his world view is blowing apart right now.
So hes come to himself and he's praying asking God, "Dude, what the heck?"
So the Lord tells him in a still small voice. "Call Will"
So I get a text suddenly from a number I don't even recognize asking if he can call. Lol he tells me who it is and I call, he starts tiptoing around not even knowing how to approach me.
Something activated inside...I stop him and say Chris I'm an open book just go ahead....I talked to and ministered to him for 2 hours.
Im watching old wounds in my wifes family come together and heal it is literally like watching a tree going from death and rotting to spring time in full strength and bloom.
Its not only healing their relationships with each other but also personal individual wounds.
Its like suddenly there is healing and life and all this chaos turmoil and mess has been a birthing process and not a death.
Im really sorry if this is weirding you out.
Last night...with your response to my post...that was the an answer to prayer...its something Ive been struggling with seeing what is coming...I knew that I had to decide where I stood and how far I would take it before that time came...I got my answer last night. The Lord just made it very simple and black and white.
Im confident now that I can act in the defense of my family in the right spirit without evil intent and be blameless before Him.
I know this is alot....and Im not trying to overwhelm you...not looking for attaboys or attention or preaching dates...but as of last night...after I got that clarity...I realized that the same annointing and intensity that I felt in that dream the Lord gave me at 14 where afterwards it felt like He grabbed me by the back of the neck...stood me up on my feet like only the tips of my toes were touching the floor and took control of my body and his voice boomed out of me like I had speakers in my chest...
I realized that what I have been experiencing in the ministry prayer and conversation....its that same hand upon me as was in the dream...and it doesnt leave.
I know we are different...different histories, different kife paths and experiences...but this wasnt placed upon me by receiving the mantle of another....it was all the little interactions with men and women of God....I never had a seat at the "Table"....I had a calling....I knew I had a purpose and all I had to glean from is those around me...nobody ever just took me under their wing in a way that felt stable and permanent except for Benicasa...Im weeping writing this.
Im just realizing that all the rejection and isolation was God's protection because He didnt want me learning falling into the current mindsets and habits of "How the sausage is made."
He had to develop me apart
Last night I went to go drop off Abby at my mom and grandmas...my grandmother started in again needling me about coming to their church...like in pity...
The annointing came over me and I spoke for an hour and a half quoting verses in context and at the same time giving them a glimpse into the struggles Ive always had in my mind with isolation, fear, anxiety, depression, rejection.
I was able to testify to how I have seen the hand of the Lord in my life and that I do not feel at liberty to attend at a place to where if I do not conform, Im seen as rebellious.
I kept repeating over and over...I cannot deviate to the right nor the left and I will not risk conflict and disunity.
When I started sharing my burden the Lord had placed on me....my grandmothers first response was one of disgust...like shed rather stay blind to what is happening...I doubled down...began to weep and began to bring out old testament warnings from prophets they slaughtered because they would not hear and I said, "Look at scripture! Look at what He hated! It wasnt just the judgements of God in chastisement, it was how society devolved as a result! How they mistreated one another and lost their love."
All this kicked off from her watching the Trump scandal that was playing on the tv...it was surface level stuff thats been out for months...just blind...I started telling her what I knew and the details and then straight preached for an hour and a half sitting in there living room and with all of us in tears.
After that...I realized my anger and resentment against my mom and grandmother are gone.....
Im seeing some amazing things....and I just wanted to thank you for the part you are playing in this.
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