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  #1  
Old 09-15-2008, 11:18 AM
Rhoni Rhoni is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 8,086
Talking For Women Only

One for the ladies

One day my housework challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'


'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'


He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'


And they say blondes are dumb...


-----------------------------------------------------------


A couple is lying in bed. The man says,


'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'


The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'


---------------------------------------------


'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'


'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.


------------------------------------------


Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?


A: A rumour


--------------------------------------


A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.


The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.


Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.


The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...


Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!


Gotta love that fairy!


-----------------------------------------------------------


Dear Lord,


I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.


AMEN


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q: Why do little boys whine?


A: They are practising to be men.


---------------------------------------------


Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?


A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.


---------------------------------------------


Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?


A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.


-------------------------------------------


Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?


A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manuals'


---------------------------------------------










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  #2  
Old 09-15-2008, 11:37 AM
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Pressing-On Pressing-On is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 48,541
Re: For Women Only

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhoni View Post







'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'


'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.



Dear Lord,


I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
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Old 09-15-2008, 12:30 PM
jezebelslayer jezebelslayer is offline
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Location: southwest gulf coast
Posts: 248
Re: For Women Only

Those were tooooooooooooo funny!!!
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  #4  
Old 09-15-2008, 12:34 PM
Rhoni Rhoni is offline
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Re: For Women Only

I'm glad you all enjoyed these as much as i did
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Old 09-15-2008, 01:58 PM
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Pressing-On Pressing-On is offline
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Re: For Women Only

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Originally Posted by Rhoni View Post
I'm glad you all enjoyed these as much as i did
I only got to the second one, reading them aloud, when my husband walked out of the room.

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Old 09-15-2008, 02:30 PM
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Location: Brazil, SA
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Re: For Women Only

thanks for the laughs...love you .
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