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  #1  
Old 01-19-2013, 11:18 PM
supertone supertone is offline
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Long Lost Uncle

My Grandmother passed away about two years ago. On her deathbed, she told her oldest son (my uncle) that her husband had cheated on her many years ago with a married woman; that affair resulted in a child. My uncle was given this man's name and was asked not to tell anybody else.

Well after my grand mother passed on, the story was told to my father and all of his siblings, which was then passed on to me. I've tracked down this man through the internet and my family knows his details but none of them have contacted him. They are worried about how this news may affect him.

I have recently moved inter-state and now live about half an hours drive away from my long-lost uncle. He is in his mid-fifties and I am unsure if he knows that his biological father isn't the man that raised him. I have the opportunity to try and meet with this man and organise a discussion with him or I could leave it be. What would you do in this situation?
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Old 01-19-2013, 11:45 PM
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trialedbyfire trialedbyfire is offline
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Re: Long Lost Uncle

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Originally Posted by supertone View Post
My Grandmother passed away about two years ago. On her deathbed, she told her oldest son (my uncle) that her husband had cheated on her many years ago with a married woman; that affair resulted in a child. My uncle was given this man's name and was asked not to tell anybody else.

Well after my grand mother passed on, the story was told to my father and all of his siblings, which was then passed on to me. I've tracked down this man through the internet and my family knows his details but none of them have contacted him. They are worried about how this news may affect him.

I have recently moved inter-state and now live about half an hours drive away from my long-lost uncle. He is in his mid-fifties and I am unsure if he knows that his biological father isn't the man that raised him. I have the opportunity to try and meet with this man and organise a discussion with him or I could leave it be. What would you do in this situation?
Never hurts to attempt to reach out. My father, his father, and their brothers all had numerous children with numerous different women up and down the east coast. There have been a lot of "discoveries" that have been made in my immediate family alone over my life.

You never know where someone may be in their life as well. Maybe connecting with his long life family maybe what he needs. God reveals things in due time for a reason. I'd say go for it, just don't go into it with any expectations regarding exactly how it will turn out. Do what you can to reunite, and pray that all goes well, and ultimately everything will be okay, regardless of the response.
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Old 01-20-2013, 12:16 AM
AreYouReady? AreYouReady? is offline
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Re: Long Lost Uncle

Too bad you did not have some sort of "proof" to back up what she said.

On the other hand, deathbed confessions are quite reliable.
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Old 01-20-2013, 12:16 AM
AreYouReady? AreYouReady? is offline
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Re: Long Lost Uncle

And...there is always DNA testing.
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Old 01-20-2013, 08:58 AM
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ILG ILG is offline
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Re: Long Lost Uncle

I think this man has a right to know the truth. And then let him decide if he wants to meet. Also, keep in mind he may not at all be the kind of person you want to meet.
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Old 01-20-2013, 01:00 PM
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Old Paths Old Paths is offline
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Re: Long Lost Uncle

Leave the man alone, after all these years, why destroy his life now....

It will do him ZERO good to find out that his mother had an affair and that he is illegitimate.



JMHO
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Last edited by Old Paths; 01-20-2013 at 01:08 PM.
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Old 01-20-2013, 01:34 PM
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Margies3 Margies3 is offline
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Re: Long Lost Uncle

Do you have any info on this man's parents who raised him? Can you contact them FIRST to see if they've even told him what happened - especially the mother? (maybe NOT the father, in fact!).

If you can't do that, I'm not sure I would make this contact. Imagine how many lives would be affected if the mother had never told her husband that this man is not his son. or never told the man that his father is not his biological father? You need to know a whole lot more about what HE knows before you become the one to open that particular can of worms.

Just my opinion
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Old 01-20-2013, 02:24 PM
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Steve Epley Steve Epley is offline
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Re: Long Lost Uncle

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Originally Posted by Old Paths View Post
Leave the man alone, after all these years, why destroy his life now....

It will do him ZERO good to find out that his mother had an affair and that he is illegitimate.



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My feelings exactly.
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Old 01-20-2013, 03:11 PM
RandyWayne RandyWayne is offline
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Re: Long Lost Uncle

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Paths View Post
Leave the man alone, after all these years, why destroy his life now....

It will do him ZERO good to find out that his mother had an affair and that he is illegitimate.



JMHO
For once, we agree (actually we have agreed, or rather "I" have agreed with you on more than once occasion without mentioning it).
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Old 01-20-2013, 03:13 PM
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Godzchild Godzchild is offline
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Re: Long Lost Uncle

I believe that contacting him would not hurt. I do think he would have joy in meeting you and finding out he had other family. About telling him "everything".....that is something that I would really pray about, and let God guide you. Just my take on it bc it was asked~ Well wishes on whatever you do decide to do.
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