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  #1  
Old 10-11-2020, 07:13 AM
shag shag is offline
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Self control

When things go bad...
When life’s negative circumstances try to get the better of us...
When everything we touch, breaks...
The “bad days”...
When someone mouths off something that just “sets us off”....


Here is my battle ground- Zipping my lip when I want to let it all out....give them the “what for”...set them straight...retaliate....speak sarcasm and/or mean words that only tear down or make matters worse. (Then regretting it later)



So-
Reaching a point in trying to conform into Him, where I can respond w kindness instead of angry or mean words. SELF CONTROL.


So how do we get there?

We are supposed to be just like Him according to 1 John 3 (etc)

So how do we attain that?

Daily prayer? Weekly fasting? Meditation on His words of life? Full of His Spirit..?


I can’t seem to get where I want to be, where I should be, w this.
I should be able to respond to practically anything, with kindness and truth.

Anyone had great success w this, to help someone like myself struggling to never be controlled by a bad situation, or when things don’t go “like I think they should”.

It’s like I can’t pray and fast enough...
Maybe my priorities in life aren’t as they should be?


I’m sure someone could say, “we all struggle w that, brother”...


But how do we actually build a bridge to overcoming it?
(No doubt it is a bigger battle for some than others...)


-Being like Christ, it’s attainable or we wouldn’t be told to do it.
__________________
If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart...
Abraham Lincoln


Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. - Eph. 4:29

Last edited by shag; 10-11-2020 at 07:50 AM.
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  #2  
Old 10-11-2020, 08:57 AM
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Evang.Benincasa Evang.Benincasa is offline
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Re: Self control

Well, like other things in life, itís just not meant for everybody.
Hence the reason why many religions have a default. Be ye perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect. Thatís right there in red letters. Yet, since religion is more focused on building a crowd, instead of true believers excuses are constructed to maintain the bare minimum. First thing that needs to be achieved is for a neophyte to make up their mind to give everything up for the journey. Unless we are ready and capable for that we canít be a faithful follower. We just constantly fall back.
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  #3  
Old 10-11-2020, 10:48 AM
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Amanah Amanah is offline
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Re: Self control

Along with the spiritual disciplines you mentioned, I find that to be a peaceful person I need to live a peaceful life. The less media I consume, the more peaceful and patient I am.
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  #4  
Old 10-11-2020, 03:56 PM
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Michael The Disciple Michael The Disciple is offline
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Re: Self control

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evang.Benincasa View Post
Well, like other things in life, itís just not meant for everybody.
Hence the reason why many religions have a default. Be ye perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect. Thatís right there in red letters. Yet, since religion is more focused on building a crowd, instead of true believers excuses are constructed to maintain the bare minimum. First thing that needs to be achieved is for a neophyte to make up their mind to give everything up for the journey. Unless we are ready and capable for that we canít be a faithful follower. We just constantly fall back.
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  #5  
Old 10-11-2020, 11:31 PM
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votivesoul votivesoul is offline
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Re: Self control

Shag,

Maybe you need a change in perspective?

Instead of a complete overhaul, you just need to tweak things a bit?

Consider Jesus. Did He ever shy away from speaking His mind? Telling the truth? Addressing the issues? Being blunt? Reproving or rebuking as needed? Or going off on hypocrites?

Sometimes, silence or restraint isn't the correct response. Rather, sometimes the correct response is truthful speech, but seasoned with salt, said in love, with humility, and without hypocrisy.
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  #6  
Old 10-12-2020, 06:29 AM
shag shag is offline
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Re: Self control

Jesus was addressing Spiritually related things...like rebuking the people that would not only kill Gods prophets but He Himself-per the parable of the vineyard.
I think He needed to show anger to them. But what I am more talking about is like day to day things in life like work related.
For instance when (if) Jesus was a carpenter working with his dad, and everything went bad in a day, he probably held his tongue. And we should be able to do the same. Like when you get outa bed get ready to leave for work, the tire is flat so you air it up, then go to start it and the battery is dead, you jump start it and hit a deer on the way to work, call your wife because your stranded on the side of the road, to pick you up in the other car, but she wonít answer the phone because she left it on silent mode.....and the rest of the day follows suit.

Not being controlled by our circumstances...and regarding how we react to the undesirables. The book of James kinda stuff w self control of the unruly tongue or even just a sarcastic attitude....

When you have an employee take your diesel truck to fill it up with fuel and he puts gas in it instead, because he wasnít paying attention, and blows the motor on the vehicle you need. You want to explode on him verbally. Yet he is the employee that youíve been praying for trying to be a good witness to to bring him to Christ. Self control of your words on a bad day. We should have it. I want it.
This is exactly the kind of thing Iím talking about.

1 John tells it like it is, we are to be like Christ, and I believe in these instances I gave of just bad days in life, he would hold his tongue and or respond in kindness, and so should we.

Itís not so hard to be a Christian when everything is right, but what about when everything goes wrongÖ
__________________
If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart...
Abraham Lincoln


Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. - Eph. 4:29
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  #7  
Old 10-12-2020, 09:25 AM
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Esaias Esaias is offline
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Re: Self control

I've known people who weren't Christians who act as described in the above post.
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  #8  
Old 10-12-2020, 09:39 AM
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Evang.Benincasa Evang.Benincasa is offline
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Re: Self control

Quote:
Originally Posted by shag View Post
Jesus was addressing Spiritually related things...like rebuking the people that would not only kill Gods prophets but He Himself-per the parable of the vineyard.
I think He needed to show anger to them. But what I am more talking about is like day to day things in life like work related.
For instance when (if) Jesus was a carpenter working with his dad, and everything went bad in a day, he probably held his tongue. And we should be able to do the same. Like when you get outa bed get ready to leave for work, the tire is flat so you air it up, then go to start it and the battery is dead, you jump start it and hit a deer on the way to work, call your wife because your stranded on the side of the road, to pick you up in the other car, but she wonít answer the phone because she left it on silent mode.....and the rest of the day follows suit.

Not being controlled by our circumstances...and regarding how we react to the undesirables. The book of James kinda stuff w self control of the unruly tongue or even just a sarcastic attitude....

When you have an employee take your diesel truck to fill it up with fuel and he puts gas in it instead, because he wasnít paying attention, and blows the motor on the vehicle you need. You want to explode on him verbally. Yet he is the employee that youíve been praying for trying to be a good witness to to bring him to Christ. Self control of your words on a bad day. We should have it. I want it.
This is exactly the kind of thing Iím talking about.

1 John tells it like it is, we are to be like Christ, and I believe in these instances I gave of just bad days in life, he would hold his tongue and or respond in kindness, and so should we.

Itís not so hard to be a Christian when everything is right, but what about when everything goes wrongÖ
Iím sorry bro, but I got to the diesel part and stopped. So, what should be done in that case? Was the employee young and inexperienced? Or a individual who got some problems with other things going on. Not every situation is put on blast as Jesus has shown us in the Bible. His followers were placed on full blast ( old Jimmy word ďupbraidedĒ ) for their lack of trust in Him Mark 16:14. Everything has a balance. All things are done in moderation. But if the only tool you have is a hammer every situation looks like a nail. Morning, wake up, tire is flat. Fix flat, drive down the road get attacked by a purple dinosaur. Fend off over friendly lizard. Then get pulled over by the cops for leaving the scene of an accident. These are things that just need to be dealt with and we move on. I know a lot of people who are in different religions, and arenít believers in anything spiritual. They deal with. They deal with it through their own human discipline, and the ethics found in their particular religion. But some people have issues no matter what they believe in. They go outside, see the flat tire, walk back into the house and burn the house to the ground. The term crime of passion, means a crime committed in the heat of high emotions. When I was 13, I witnessed a fight, where five guys attacked this old man at the old manís motorcycle shop. It was over a misunderstanding concerning the repairs. The old gentleman was calm as a cucumber. But the main individual of the four wasnít letting it go, and was be egged on by his bros. So they all decided to jump the old crusty dude all at once. Interestingly enough, all four were on the ground with varying degrees of injury. I said all that to say this. The old man never broke from his calmness. Not one second. Even when the police showed up and cuffed the injured dummies and toted them away. But maybe calm is the wrong word, because I donít want to tell this whole story like the old dude was sitting on a lotus. He just never showed that he was having a problem. He wasnít frazzled, he wasnít upset. Because he never showed it to me. But, Iíve seen him angry, hotter than a hornet coming out of a garden hose. But all situations have a plethora of different responses. Just donít burn the house down over a flat tire.
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  #9  
Old 10-12-2020, 09:30 PM
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Esaias Esaias is offline
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Re: Self control

Quote:
Originally Posted by shag View Post
When things go bad...
When lifeís negative circumstances try to get the better of us...
When everything we touch, breaks...
The ďbad daysĒ...
When someone mouths off something that just ďsets us offĒ....


Here is my battle ground- Zipping my lip when I want to let it all out....give them the ďwhat forĒ...set them straight...retaliate....speak sarcasm and/or mean words that only tear down or make matters worse. (Then regretting it later)



So-
Reaching a point in trying to conform into Him, where I can respond w kindness instead of angry or mean words. SELF CONTROL.


So how do we get there?

We are supposed to be just like Him according to 1 John 3 (etc)

So how do we attain that?

Daily prayer? Weekly fasting? Meditation on His words of life? Full of His Spirit..?


I canít seem to get where I want to be, where I should be, w this.
I should be able to respond to practically anything, with kindness and truth.

Anyone had great success w this, to help someone like myself struggling to never be controlled by a bad situation, or when things donít go ďlike I think they shouldĒ.

Itís like I canít pray and fast enough...
Maybe my priorities in life arenít as they should be?


Iím sure someone could say, ďwe all struggle w that, brotherĒ...


But how do we actually build a bridge to overcoming it?
(No doubt it is a bigger battle for some than others...)


-Being like Christ, itís attainable or we wouldnít be told to do it.
Usually, a quick temper is caused by an underlying issue that only finds opportunity to vent when some minor thing occurs. Find that issue, and things will start to fall into place.

I speak as one who used to fly off at the slightest thing. And I come from a long line of known hotheads. The eruptions of anger are a symptom of something else, almost certainly some kind of frustration about something.
__________________
Visit the Apostolic House Church YouTube Channel!


Biblical Worship - free pdf http://www.pdf-archive.com/2016/02/21/biblicalworship4/

Conditional immortality proven - http://www.robertwr.com/

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  #10  
Old 10-12-2020, 10:24 PM
shag shag is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,312
Re: Self control

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evang.Benincasa View Post
I’m sorry bro, but I got to the diesel part and stopped. So, what should be done in that case? Was the employee young and inexperienced? Or a individual who got some problems with other things going on. Not every situation is put on blast as Jesus has shown us in the Bible. His followers were placed on full blast ( old Jimmy word “upbraided” ) for their lack of trust in Him Mark 16:14. Everything has a balance. All things are done in moderation. But if the only tool you have is a hammer every situation looks like a nail. Morning, wake up, tire is flat. Fix flat, drive down the road get attacked by a purple dinosaur. Fend off over friendly lizard. Then get pulled over by the cops for leaving the scene of an accident. These are things that just need to be dealt with and we move on. I know a lot of people who are in different religions, and aren’t believers in anything spiritual. They deal with. They deal with it through their own human discipline, and the ethics found in their particular religion. But some people have issues no matter what they believe in. They go outside, see the flat tire, walk back into the house and burn the house to the ground. The term crime of passion, means a crime committed in the heat of high emotions. When I was 13, I witnessed a fight, where five guys attacked this old man at the old man’s motorcycle shop. It was over a misunderstanding concerning the repairs. The old gentleman was calm as a cucumber. But the main individual of the four wasn’t letting it go, and was be egged on by his bros. So they all decided to jump the old crusty dude all at once. Interestingly enough, all four were on the ground with varying degrees of injury. I said all that to say this. The old man never broke from his calmness. Not one second. Even when the police showed up and cuffed the injured dummies and toted them away. But maybe calm is the wrong word, because I don’t want to tell this whole story like the old dude was sitting on a lotus. He just never showed that he was having a problem. He wasn’t frazzled, he wasn’t upset. Because he never showed it to me. But, I’ve seen him angry, hotter than a hornet coming out of a garden hose. But all situations have a plethora of different responses. Just don’t burn the house down over a flat tire.





Quote:
Originally Posted by Esaias View Post
Usually, a quick temper is caused by an underlying issue that only finds opportunity to vent when some minor thing occurs. Find that issue, and things will start to fall into place.

I speak as one who used to fly off at the slightest thing. And I come from a long line of known hotheads. The eruptions of anger are a symptom of something else, almost certainly some kind of frustration about something.

I’ll think on, and pray and ask my Lord about exactly that.
Thanks.

May be related to being burnt out on commonly working long hours(11-14) every day and some Saturdays for months....I’m thinkin anyway.
__________________
If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart...
Abraham Lincoln


Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. - Eph. 4:29

Last edited by shag; 10-12-2020 at 10:29 PM.
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