Husband leaving the church. Very sad n stressed

[good samaritan]

Originally Posted by Esphes45

@GS - Since I am currently going through a similar situation with my wife, I think being honest about her feelings would at least help him know that he is not totally crazy about his thoughts. She is his helpmate, they are one. She can pray but being deceitful is not being honest. Trying to encourage someone when you have negative thoughts is not being truthful.

Also faithfulness to God is not the same as faithfulness to a church. Her husband comes before a church.

Negativism breeds more negativism. Maybe we are meaning two different things, but sitting down reflecting how bad people and things are will not help anyone. For example:

If my wife has a continual problem with a lady and it has become a spiritual battle for her, and that lady does something I see bad then it is probably not wisdom to go home and stir up the bitterness by telling all that I have seen.

I am not meaning they shouldn't sit down and have a honest family discussion with a solution. Nor did I mean for her to make him think he was crazy and act oblivious to things that she knows are real. For her to agree with someone who appears to have a wrong attitude is probably counterproductive. If I am mad at the world I don't need sympathy. I need God's deliverance of the attitude and a solution.

[Esphes45]

Originally Posted by good samaritan

Negativism breeds more negativism. Maybe we are meaning two different things, but sitting down reflecting how bad people and things are will not help anyone. For example:

If my wife has a continual problem with a lady and it has become a spiritual battle for her, and that lady does something I see bad then it is probably not wisdom to go home and stir up the bitterness by telling all that I have seen.

I am not meaning they shouldn't sit down and have a honest family discussion with a solution. Nor did I mean for her to make him think he was crazy and act oblivious to things that she knows are real. For her to agree with someone who appears to have a wrong attitude is probably counterproductive. If I am mad at the world I don't need sympathy. I need God's deliverance of the attitude and a solution.

I think we are talking about two different things.

But the line I highlighted above - How can you assume he has the wrong attitude? Maybe his feelings are justified and she is just plain blind as to what is going on? Like I said, I am going through a similar thing. My wife knows the church is wrong but refuses to stop going because she does not want the feeling of being "lost". Me on the other hand feels it is a waste of time, effort and gas money to go to a place you feel in your heart is not right. The church is in you, not a building.

[StillStanding]

Originally Posted by Originalist

Amen. This couple can still have a powerful walk with God and ministry outside of the institutionalized church. I hope they discipline themselves to have church at home. But of course there will be those who will tell them they are now under the condemnation of the Almighty for "rebelling against the man of God" and such nonsense.

Sadly there are also many pastors who would basically tell this woman she has to now choose between her husband and God and that if he does not repent she should allow the marraige to basically go.

While this is true, it is still much better to be part of a group of believers. There is strength in numbers. We all do a little better when we make ourselves accountable to others we trust.

[good samaritan]

Originally Posted by Esphes45

I think we are talking about two different things.

But the line I highlighted above - How can you assume he has the wrong attitude? Maybe his feelings are justified and she is just plain blind as to what is going on? Like I said, I am going through a similar thing. My wife knows the church is wrong but refuses to stop going because she does not want the feeling of being "lost". Me on the other hand feels it is a waste of time, effort and gas money to go to a place you feel in your heart is not right. The church is in you, not a building.

Correct the church is not a building, but incorrect it is not in you. You must be in it. The church is the body of Christ and you may become part of that body, but it is the Holy Spirit which will dwell inside us. The people who make up the assembly are the church. If you neglect the assembling then you are in essence neglecting the church. Which if you profess to be a part of, then how can you feel it is not unnecessary to assemble.

The particularly located assembly in which we attend I believe should be God's will. If a person feels that it is God's will for them to be a part of that assembly then they won't be easily shaken over the trials they will face in any family relationship. The problem is that too many view the church as just religious practice rather than the family of God. The church is your brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, etc.....

You surely wouldn't turn your back on your family. It is a fact that most people never connect to the body. They are independent and never lean on anyone and over time that independence becomes dangerous. Without the iron sharpening iron, are views become one sided and we can easily drift in heresy. Also my church family challenges me to live a good life. When we are isolated it is easier to fall into sin because no one is close enough to see. It is easy to justify things to ourselves, but not so easy to justify to others.

I assume his attitude is wrong by not leading his family spiritually. By this attitude, "I'll quit" he is teaching his children that the body of Christ is not valuable. The building you attend is not the body of Christ, but the people you gather with are. Sure some may be hypocrites and fakes, but you should know them that labor among you. Seek out godly relationships among your local fellowship and then use church service's as an opportunity in which you can minister in the body.

We look to the pastor as the only minister figure in the church.Wrong understanding. We are supposed to minister to one another. Elders (pastors) are there for their wisdom and leadership. I hope that God reveals to you the church as it actually is. These traditional services most have on Sundays and Wednesday are man made, but that doesn't mean that we aren't to utilize them. We aren't to be rebels in the body causing disunity. Instead if we have deeper revelation about something we should help steer others in that right direction.

If it is not God's will for you at a church then find where He would have you be. Labor there until he comes.

[Abiding Now]

Jer. 29:13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart

[commonsense]

In retail there are lots of complaints from customers and supposedly only 10% of the disgruntled actually send the letter or place the call.''

Now to the subject at hand. This is not a unique situation in the church world. I know of several families with similar dilemmas.
Blame it on the world or domineering pastors or sin but it's still a very real issue.

Where do you go? Do you settle? Many questions ........Lots of good answers given but this isn't an isolated family. We do need solutions.

While the individual is in charge of their soul_________ there is responsibility upon the church/pastor to be sensitive to the needs in the congregation. No one wants to be ignored or brushed off as unworthy or unnecessary.

[Abiding Now]

Not everything is as it appears. I just imagine if the pastor or some of the church folks logged on AFF, there would probably be a much different story.

[allstate1]

Originally Posted by good samaritan

Correct the church is not a building, but incorrect it is not in you. You must be in it. The church is the body of Christ and you may become part of that body, but it is the Holy Spirit which will dwell inside us. The people who make up the assembly are the church. If you neglect the assembling then you are in essence neglecting the church. Which if you profess to be a part of, then how can you feel it is not unnecessary to assemble.

The particularly located assembly in which we attend I believe should be God's will. If a person feels that it is God's will for them to be a part of that assembly then they won't be easily shaken over the trials they will face in any family relationship. The problem is that too many view the church as just religious practice rather than the family of God. The church is your brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, etc.....

You surely wouldn't turn your back on your family. It is a fact that most people never connect to the body. They are independent and never lean on anyone and over time that independence becomes dangerous. Without the iron sharpening iron, are views become one sided and we can easily drift in heresy. Also my church family challenges me to live a good life. When we are isolated it is easier to fall into sin because no one is close enough to see. It is easy to justify things to ourselves, but not so easy to justify to others.

I assume his attitude is wrong by not leading his family spiritually. By this attitude, "I'll quit" he is teaching his children that the body of Christ is not valuable. The building you attend is not the body of Christ, but the people you gather with are. Sure some may be hypocrites and fakes, but you should know them that labor among you. Seek out godly relationships among your local fellowship and then use church service's as an opportunity in which you can minister in the body.

We look to the pastor as the only minister figure in the church.Wrong understanding. We are supposed to minister to one another. Elders (pastors) are there for their wisdom and leadership. I hope that God reveals to you the church as it actually is. These traditional services most have on Sundays and Wednesday are man made, but that doesn't mean that we aren't to utilize them. We aren't to be rebels in the body causing disunity. Instead if we have deeper revelation about something we should help steer others in that right direction.

If it is not God's will for you at a church then find where He would have you be. Labor there until he comes.

I want to address the first two paragraphs as a person who no longer attends a church. It's my opinion that the forsake not the assembling scripture is abused and used on saints. It is used as a measuring device on perceived spirituality and dedication by other saints and the ministry. Don't believe me, try attending once a week or bimonthly and see what your told. And usually no matter the reason. When I was an insurance agent I would see hundreds of people a week and the last thing I wanted on weekends or weeknight services was to be around people. But there is never an "excuse" . I believe in assembly and I believe in being a part. But I don't believe there us a "quota" on attendance or participation. Does this make me less Christ like or less "holy"? I still believe !! I still pray. I still study! But the typical reaction of ministry on my attendance beliefs is 80% of the reason I don't attend anywhere now.

Secondly, if you are one of those people who just has to have two or three services a week just to get by I don't believe that you have anything inside you at all. Instead of falling in love with Jesus you are in love with the emotionalism of church. What would happen to you in a third world or communist country???

[good samaritan]

Originally Posted by allstate1

I want to address the first two paragraphs as a person who no longer attends a church. It's my opinion that the forsake not the assembling scripture is abused and used on saints. It is used as a measuring device on perceived spirituality and dedication by other saints and the ministry. Don't believe me, try attending once a week or bimonthly and see what your told. And usually no matter the reason. When I was an insurance agent I would see hundreds of people a week and the last thing I wanted on weekends or weeknight services was to be around people. But there is never an "excuse" . I believe in assembly and I believe in being a part. But I don't believe there us a "quota" on attendance or participation. Does this make me less Christ like or less "holy"? I still believe !! I still pray. I still study! But the typical reaction of ministry on my attendance beliefs is 80% of the reason I don't attend anywhere now.

Secondly, if you are one of those people who just has to have two or three services a week just to get by I don't believe that you have anything inside you at all. Instead of falling in love with Jesus you are in love with the emotionalism of church. What would happen to you in a third world or communist country???

I am glad you are so spiritual to judge me. My church schedule is like this. Tuesday night prayer meeting bible study, Wednesday night bible study, Thursday night children's church, Saturday's we rotate between men and ladies breakfast or brunch, and yes we have a traditional 2 services. Not to mention I am bi-vocational. I am a pastor so yes it is expected of me to be there, but I have always been involved in the local church. I do it because it is my heart I am the church. You basically said you get tired of being around people. That is where we differ, I love to be around people.

My question is this. How frequent do you think the early church gathered? I don't depend on the church giving me an emotional high and I feel that comment borders blasphemy against the Holy Ghost. We come together to operate in the gifts of the Spirit which were are for the church. I have never known anyone used in the gifts sitting home on their couch engulfed in their self.

[good samaritan]

Originally Posted by allstate1

I want to address the first two paragraphs as a person who no longer attends a church. It's my opinion that the forsake not the assembling scripture is abused and used on saints. It is used as a measuring device on perceived spirituality and dedication by other saints and the ministry. Don't believe me, try attending once a week or bimonthly and see what your told. And usually no matter the reason. When I was an insurance agent I would see hundreds of people a week and the last thing I wanted on weekends or weeknight services was to be around people. But there is never an "excuse" . I believe in assembly and I believe in being a part. But I don't believe there us a "quota" on attendance or participation. Does this make me less Christ like or less "holy"? I still believe !! I still pray. I still study! But the typical reaction of ministry on my attendance beliefs is 80% of the reason I don't attend anywhere now.

Secondly, if you are one of those people who just has to have two or three services a week just to get by I don't believe that you have anything inside you at all. Instead of falling in love with Jesus you are in love with the emotionalism of church. What would happen to you in a third world or communist country???

The issue on the scripture in Hebrews concerning not forsaking the assembling is abused? How do preachers abuse the scripture concerning this. How would you interpret the scripture "not forsaking the assembling". There is no quota it just says don't forsake. I don't condemn people if they miss church, but I worry for them. I must ask though how do you find the connection for the body now that you don't go?