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07-15-2011, 06:44 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 11,467
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My BIL and Nephew
Hello!
Please pray for my BIL and (adult) nephew. They got kicked out of where they were living and showed up at my husband's work broke and homeless. Since my husband and I both have a brother who is like this, we have discussed these issues a lot over the years. My husband gave him $25.00 and told him he was sorry but they were going to have to fend for themselves. His brother wanted us to take in the nephew but the weather is nice out right now and we'll save our sanity for winter if need be. But there is a homeless shelter that we will probably direct them to. My BIL has been this way for years and years. It is hard to turn him away and then of course we worry about him and how he will do. It is a stressor. So, please pray for them and us too. This is never easy.
Thanks!
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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07-15-2011, 08:59 AM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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Re: My BIL and Nephew
I let an alcoholic in law and son live with us three different times totaling several years trying to help them get on their feet but they would never go to rehab and never quit drinking. This person will never live in my home again we are only enabling them when we bail them out of being homeless. They got very upset recently when they supposedly had a job back in our state and I would not let them stay in our home for a "few weeks". I have told them I would love to have them come visit for a weekend but 3 days max. Oh, did I mention the son had 2 DUI's at age 18? The same son that has never been held accountable for any behaviour. Got suspended from school 3 times in six months in HS and parent did not do one thing. No grounding, no punishment, etc. Arghhhh
__________________
"I think some people love spiritual bondage just the way some people love physical bondage. It makes them feel secure. In the end though it is not healthy for the one who is lost over it or the one who is lives under the oppression even if by their own choice"
Titus2woman on AFF
"We did not wear uniforms. The lady workers dressed in the current fashions of the day, ...silks...satins...jewels or whatever they happened to possess. They were very smartly turned out, so that they made an impressive appearance on the streets where a large part of our work was conducted in the early years.
"It was not until long after, when former Holiness preachers had become part of us, that strict plainness of dress began to be taught.
"Although Entire Sanctification was preached at the beginning of the Movement, it was from a Wesleyan viewpoint, and had in it very little of the later Holiness Movement characteristics. Nothing was ever said about apparel, for everyone was so taken up with the Lord that mode of dress seemingly never occurred to any of us."
Quote from Ethel Goss (widow of 1st UPC Gen Supt. Howard Goss) book "The Winds of God"
Last edited by CC1; 07-15-2011 at 09:03 AM.
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07-15-2011, 11:35 AM
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Supercalifragilisticexpiali...
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 19,197
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Re: My BIL and Nephew
CC1, can you clarify who this is please? Not your son and daughter in law, right? That's the way I thought it read until the end of the post...
__________________
"It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity." Dave Barry 2005
I am a firm believer in the Old Paths
Articles on such subjects as "The New Birth," will be accepted, whether they teach that the new birth takes place before baptism in water and Spirit, or that the new birth consists of baptism of water and Spirit. - THE PENTECOSTAL HERALD Dec. 1945
"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves
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07-15-2011, 11:39 AM
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Supercalifragilisticexpiali...
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 19,197
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Re: My BIL and Nephew
Quote:
Originally Posted by ILG
Hello!
Please pray for my BIL and (adult) nephew. They got kicked out of where they were living and showed up at my husband's work broke and homeless. Since my husband and I both have a brother who is like this, we have discussed these issues a lot over the years. My husband gave him $25.00 and told him he was sorry but they were going to have to fend for themselves. His brother wanted us to take in the nephew but the weather is nice out right now and we'll save our sanity for winter if need be. But there is a homeless shelter that we will probably direct them to. My BIL has been this way for years and years. It is hard to turn him away and then of course we worry about him and how he will do. It is a stressor. So, please pray for them and us too. This is never easy.
Thanks!
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ILG, I think you are on the right track. Stay removed from the situation a bit to save your privacy and sanity.
You can still give them a few dollars, take them to the shelters that are in the area, locate the food pantries and gov assistance etc.
__________________
"It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity." Dave Barry 2005
I am a firm believer in the Old Paths
Articles on such subjects as "The New Birth," will be accepted, whether they teach that the new birth takes place before baptism in water and Spirit, or that the new birth consists of baptism of water and Spirit. - THE PENTECOSTAL HERALD Dec. 1945
"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves
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07-15-2011, 11:45 AM
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My Family!
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Collierville, TN
Posts: 31,786
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Re: My BIL and Nephew
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoovie
CC1, can you clarify who this is please? Not your son and daughter in law, right? That's the way I thought it read until the end of the post...
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No - - In-law and her son.
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Master of Science in Applied Disgruntled Religious Theorist Wrangling
PhD in Petulant Tantrum Quelling
Dean of the School of Hard Knocks
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07-15-2011, 02:58 PM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 16,840
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Re: My BIL and Nephew
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoovie
CC1, can you clarify who this is please? Not your son and daughter in law, right? That's the way I thought it read until the end of the post...
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LOL!!! No. I said an "in law" and that the person had a son. Definitely not any of my children or my son in law.
__________________
"I think some people love spiritual bondage just the way some people love physical bondage. It makes them feel secure. In the end though it is not healthy for the one who is lost over it or the one who is lives under the oppression even if by their own choice"
Titus2woman on AFF
"We did not wear uniforms. The lady workers dressed in the current fashions of the day, ...silks...satins...jewels or whatever they happened to possess. They were very smartly turned out, so that they made an impressive appearance on the streets where a large part of our work was conducted in the early years.
"It was not until long after, when former Holiness preachers had become part of us, that strict plainness of dress began to be taught.
"Although Entire Sanctification was preached at the beginning of the Movement, it was from a Wesleyan viewpoint, and had in it very little of the later Holiness Movement characteristics. Nothing was ever said about apparel, for everyone was so taken up with the Lord that mode of dress seemingly never occurred to any of us."
Quote from Ethel Goss (widow of 1st UPC Gen Supt. Howard Goss) book "The Winds of God"
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07-16-2011, 08:55 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 11,467
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Re: My BIL and Nephew
Thanks for the support, guys. This is always hard but the other choice is to give and give and they take and take and I know it never ends. I think you are making the right choice too, CC1. It is amazing how entitled they feel. I can never understand that.
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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07-16-2011, 11:37 PM
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crakjak
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: dallas area
Posts: 7,605
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Re: My BIL and Nephew
Quote:
Originally Posted by ILG
Hello!
Please pray for my BIL and (adult) nephew. They got kicked out of where they were living and showed up at my husband's work broke and homeless. Since my husband and I both have a brother who is like this, we have discussed these issues a lot over the years. My husband gave him $25.00 and told him he was sorry but they were going to have to fend for themselves. His brother wanted us to take in the nephew but the weather is nice out right now and we'll save our sanity for winter if need be. But there is a homeless shelter that we will probably direct them to. My BIL has been this way for years and years. It is hard to turn him away and then of course we worry about him and how he will do. It is a stressor. So, please pray for them and us too. This is never easy.
Thanks!
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I'm sorry but choices and behavior have consequences, there comes a time to be relieved of the messiah complex and let even our loved ones experience these consequences. "I love you, but I cannot be responsible for your livelihood nor wellbeing". If the consequences are too uncomfortable folks generally do something to change the situation.
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07-17-2011, 10:40 AM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 11,467
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Re: My BIL and Nephew
Yeah, the messiah complex seems to make one put a big target on your own head. Then, they shoot you right on the target. Bad system. We love them, but they would use us up.
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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07-23-2011, 04:31 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 11,467
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Re: My BIL and Nephew
I just got off the phone with my brother (who lives with my parents). My brother has never been to the house I live in now (lived here two years). He was calling wanting to know the names of some campgrounds around here since he is working in the area. I haven't gotten a phone call from him in years. I got off the phone and told my husband and we discussed the issue. I called my brother back and gave him the names of some campgrounds in the area and it seemed that is actually what he wanted. We thought maybe he was hinting to stay here.
My whole nervous system is through the roof. Good grief.
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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