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Re: Double funeral service?
Hello Bro. EB
We did the local service here. I spoke.....
I feel I screwed it up. Wish I had someone there I trusted for honesty, rather than social kindness.
I overestimated my coping, underestimated the level of loss I feel. And broke down a bit getting started. The result of that was that I had to work to mentally hard to flow the words well. It was not as beautiful as it could have been. On the other hand my pastor could not hold it together either to close it out, and everyone said they loved it.
After the first 2 min, I suppressed the emotions by walking with the wireless Mike all over that church, but delivered with no further bobbles. Just not the delivery I wanted.
After our friends left on Sunday, I found myself back at day 2 or so _ reset to severe grief. This week was awful at work. Somebody said they wished I could get angry or something, so it would seem I still care about the job. I guess I was still suppressing and the result was a dead affect....if I do get angry _ it will be over the top _ so I just went dead.
Better by tonight, but ...this is going to be a longer road than I thought.
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