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Prayer Closet The place to post prayer requests & testimonies. All new requests will auto-stick in Fellowship Hall for 48 hours. |
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04-19-2014, 01:25 AM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 5,440
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Re: Prayer and help for marriage
I believe that whenever a married couple has backslid, as you say you have, the Lord first desires a restored relationship with Him. If you will seek repentance and reconciliation with God, then I believe God will help you restore your marriage.
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04-19-2014, 09:42 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 23,543
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Re: Prayer and help for marriage
A double amen to that
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04-24-2014, 10:12 PM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 16,840
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Re: Prayer and help for marriage
Praying.
__________________
"I think some people love spiritual bondage just the way some people love physical bondage. It makes them feel secure. In the end though it is not healthy for the one who is lost over it or the one who is lives under the oppression even if by their own choice"
Titus2woman on AFF
"We did not wear uniforms. The lady workers dressed in the current fashions of the day, ...silks...satins...jewels or whatever they happened to possess. They were very smartly turned out, so that they made an impressive appearance on the streets where a large part of our work was conducted in the early years.
"It was not until long after, when former Holiness preachers had become part of us, that strict plainness of dress began to be taught.
"Although Entire Sanctification was preached at the beginning of the Movement, it was from a Wesleyan viewpoint, and had in it very little of the later Holiness Movement characteristics. Nothing was ever said about apparel, for everyone was so taken up with the Lord that mode of dress seemingly never occurred to any of us."
Quote from Ethel Goss (widow of 1st UPC Gen Supt. Howard Goss) book "The Winds of God"
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04-25-2014, 11:51 AM
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You used to call me Michlow
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 281
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Re: Prayer and help for marriage
Quote:
Originally Posted by ANG
My husband and I recently got married and had a baby who is now a little over a month old. Needless to say it's a toll on our marriage, he hasn't helped me with the baby at all, even when I ask for it and for the most part comes and goes as he pleases, when we fight the suggestion of separation always comes up. We both grew up in the church, although both of us are currently backslid. I've tried everything and I'm tired of fighting every single day. I don't believe in divorce, but these are just small details of what's going on. I've been praying and praying for something to change, but we all know God has his own timing and way of doing things. I love my husband dearly, but with all that's going on, I'm losing hope and faith in our marriage, I feel like I don't know how much longer I can fight for it. Prayer would be greatly appreciated more than you know. As would some advice.
God bless.
Might I add, I generally don't talk about my marital issues, but please understand I'm to my breaking point.
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You poor thing! As joyful as having a newborn is, it is also an exhausting, emotional and extremely hormonal time! It is stressful on a marriage relationship, no matter what the circumstances.
When I was pregnant, I read something that really scared me at the time, but ended up helping me immensely during the first year of my daughters life (she's almost 3 now). It basically said that contrary to popular opinions having children makes 80% of marital relationships worse, and that it basically comes down to 4 areas:
#1 is sleep deprivation, it makes people tired and cranky and unhappy, and physically worn down.
#2 is unequal distribution of labor. This is usually the Mom's, you feel like you are doing 90% of the work, and you are only one person and you can't even remember what it's like to have 5 minutes to yourself, and can't he see that you are working yourself to death???
#3 is Feeling Replaced. This is usually mostly the Dad's. He used to be the object of your affection, now most of your time and attention is focused on the little one. He feels left out. He misses the old days.
#4 is sex. (that's always in there). He misses it and wants it, your exhausted and emotionally drained, and it's the last thing on your mind. It affects your intimacy...etc...
And my own #5...you are on an emotional hormonal roller-coaster right now, that he can't really understand. And from my own personal experience I will tell you, that though all your emotions feel very real and strong, you might find in hindsight that they were a bit overblown. (this is normal, and he needs to understand that and give you some slack).
Anyway, knowing that, helped me during what can be a difficult time for all couples.
Keep Praying for your marriage, and maybe prayerfully consider marriage counseling. It might help to have someone lead you in a discussion about expectations in your relationship.
__________________
“There's such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn't be half so interesting.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
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04-27-2014, 02:06 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: West
Posts: 1,285
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Re: Prayer and help for marriage
Dichotomy Girl gave great advice.
When I had my first baby it was HARD. Really, really, really hard. I say her first 3 months were the longest 3 months of my life. My DH was not the most helpful either.
Big hugs to you. It will get easier. I wouldn't make any big decisions right now.
Do you have anyone you can trust to give you a break from the baby sometimes?
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04-27-2014, 02:10 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 11,467
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Re: Prayer and help for marriage
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dichotomy Girl
You poor thing! As joyful as having a newborn is, it is also an exhausting, emotional and extremely hormonal time! It is stressful on a marriage relationship, no matter what the circumstances.
When I was pregnant, I read something that really scared me at the time, but ended up helping me immensely during the first year of my daughters life (she's almost 3 now). It basically said that contrary to popular opinions having children makes 80% of marital relationships worse, and that it basically comes down to 4 areas:
#1 is sleep deprivation, it makes people tired and cranky and unhappy, and physically worn down.
#2 is unequal distribution of labor. This is usually the Mom's, you feel like you are doing 90% of the work, and you are only one person and you can't even remember what it's like to have 5 minutes to yourself, and can't he see that you are working yourself to death???
#3 is Feeling Replaced. This is usually mostly the Dad's. He used to be the object of your affection, now most of your time and attention is focused on the little one. He feels left out. He misses the old days.
#4 is sex. (that's always in there). He misses it and wants it, your exhausted and emotionally drained, and it's the last thing on your mind. It affects your intimacy...etc...
And my own #5...you are on an emotional hormonal roller-coaster right now, that he can't really understand. And from my own personal experience I will tell you, that though all your emotions feel very real and strong, you might find in hindsight that they were a bit overblown. (this is normal, and he needs to understand that and give you some slack).
Anyway, knowing that, helped me during what can be a difficult time for all couples.
Keep Praying for your marriage, and maybe prayerfully consider marriage counseling. It might help to have someone lead you in a discussion about expectations in your relationship.
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Very good, DG. My kids are grown but I remember it as a very difficult time.
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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04-27-2014, 02:10 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 11,467
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Re: Prayer and help for marriage
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dichotomy Girl
You poor thing! As joyful as having a newborn is, it is also an exhausting, emotional and extremely hormonal time! It is stressful on a marriage relationship, no matter what the circumstances.
When I was pregnant, I read something that really scared me at the time, but ended up helping me immensely during the first year of my daughters life (she's almost 3 now). It basically said that contrary to popular opinions having children makes 80% of marital relationships worse, and that it basically comes down to 4 areas:
#1 is sleep deprivation, it makes people tired and cranky and unhappy, and physically worn down.
#2 is unequal distribution of labor. This is usually the Mom's, you feel like you are doing 90% of the work, and you are only one person and you can't even remember what it's like to have 5 minutes to yourself, and can't he see that you are working yourself to death???
#3 is Feeling Replaced. This is usually mostly the Dad's. He used to be the object of your affection, now most of your time and attention is focused on the little one. He feels left out. He misses the old days.
#4 is sex. (that's always in there). He misses it and wants it, your exhausted and emotionally drained, and it's the last thing on your mind. It affects your intimacy...etc...
And my own #5...you are on an emotional hormonal roller-coaster right now, that he can't really understand. And from my own personal experience I will tell you, that though all your emotions feel very real and strong, you might find in hindsight that they were a bit overblown. (this is normal, and he needs to understand that and give you some slack).
Anyway, knowing that, helped me during what can be a difficult time for all couples.
Keep Praying for your marriage, and maybe prayerfully consider marriage counseling. It might help to have someone lead you in a discussion about expectations in your relationship.
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Very good, DG. My kids are grown but I remember it as a very difficult time.
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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04-27-2014, 04:19 PM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 16,840
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Re: Prayer and help for marriage
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Sanders
Who are you to judge me, much less what gives you the right
to say anything about what I do...
anywhere but in your home?
God said to me to tell you that He See's everything I do.
because He told me to do them.
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Although I am not logged in as ADMIN I am writing this post as an admin and giving you fair warning you need to think long and hard before you proceed with what you have started here.
You know what is acceptable and unacceptable for posting here and I trust you will post within those guidelines if you are the christian person you claim to be.
__________________
"I think some people love spiritual bondage just the way some people love physical bondage. It makes them feel secure. In the end though it is not healthy for the one who is lost over it or the one who is lives under the oppression even if by their own choice"
Titus2woman on AFF
"We did not wear uniforms. The lady workers dressed in the current fashions of the day, ...silks...satins...jewels or whatever they happened to possess. They were very smartly turned out, so that they made an impressive appearance on the streets where a large part of our work was conducted in the early years.
"It was not until long after, when former Holiness preachers had become part of us, that strict plainness of dress began to be taught.
"Although Entire Sanctification was preached at the beginning of the Movement, it was from a Wesleyan viewpoint, and had in it very little of the later Holiness Movement characteristics. Nothing was ever said about apparel, for everyone was so taken up with the Lord that mode of dress seemingly never occurred to any of us."
Quote from Ethel Goss (widow of 1st UPC Gen Supt. Howard Goss) book "The Winds of God"
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