I seek prayer and counsel

Originalist · #1 02-13-2019, 08:20 PM

I truly seek the input of the AFF community on this issue. I apologize that this is not worded better.

My father passed away in June of last year at the age of 85. Several months before he died, I discovered my sister was secretly twisting his arm to cut me out of his will. Sources close to my father informed me that my sister had provided my father with papers to sign. I obtained a lawyer who counseled me to keep quiet for the time being. He suspected that my father was going to make the mistake of changing his will without changing the deed to the home, which would have made the new will void if he died. He and I checked the on-line county records regularly to see if there were any changes to the deed. Interestingly, my dad died suddenly in his sleep before he could file any of the papers my sister had given him, and I thus remained the executor. Not so surprisingly, she smuggled the papers out of his house before I could find them, which was illegal.

Due to the horrible circumstances in my life at the time, I chose not to confront my sister (Heavy load at graduate school, 8 weeks with shingles, knee surgery with 6 weeks on crutches, 1 week in the hospital over a tick bite reaction). Sadly, she lied about my wife as her means to convince my dad that changing the will was necessary. She invented a wild fantasy that my wife was going to divorce me after my dad was gone and give all of his possessions to her family in Mexico. I can no longer withhold expressing disapproval for what happened, especially since my wife and her family were so disrespected.

Our family was always unusual. It was like living in the Bizarro world where everything was opposite. The youngest child was ignored while the middle child was spoiled. In fact, a pastor once told my mom that my dad should not have had sons as having another male in the home seemed to make him feel threatened. He hardly spoke to me until I was a Sophmore in college.

My sister was always coddled. Dad supplemented at least 30% of her income her entire adult life (she’s 54). She has never married or gotten any serious college education. I took a total of 300 dollars from my dad in my entire adult life. Yet, he told friends that made me the executor of his estate because he knew my sister could never handle the responsibility. But I knew when he made the will 15 years ago that she would never settle for a 50-50 split.

I do not seek revenge. I have continued to exhibit a Christian attitude when she comes around. She has no clue that I am aware of any of this. But moving forward, especially as we enter into the phase of the final disposition of my dad’s home (both our names have been on the deed for many years), she needs to understand that treachery will not be tolerated. Unless God does a real work in her heart, I expect her to simply refuse to discuss the matter, much less show remorse. I've often wondered if she realizes that God took my dad to prevent him from making a horrible mistake on her behalf.

Your prayers and counsel are appreciated.

votivesoul · #2 02-14-2019, 11:09 AM

Let justice be served. If she is a criminal, she needs to answer for her crimes. Micah 6:8 reads "love mercy", but then says "do justice". Sometimes suffering the justice of the law IS mercy. It sounds like that's what she needs: mercy through justice.

Originalist · #3 02-14-2019, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by votivesoul

Let justice be served. If she is a criminal, she needs to answer for her crimes. Micah 6:8 reads "love mercy", but then says "do justice". Sometimes suffering the justice of the law IS mercy. It sounds like that's what she needs: mercy through justice.

Thank you. At least one person on here cares.

Esaias · #4 02-14-2019, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Originalist

Thank you. At least one person on here cares.

Just because a person doesn't post a public response, doesn't mean they don't care and aren't praying, brother. Just saying.

CC1 · #5 02-14-2019, 09:22 PM

Since her plan did not succeed what is there to gain my trying to discuss this with her? From what you have said she has been like this her eintire so at age 50 why would she respond in the proper way to a discussion of this matter? My counsel would be to let it go and ask God to help you forigve and find peace about the matter. Unless I am missing something you should not have to deal with her in the future once the estate is disbursed.

Originalist · #6 02-15-2019, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CC1

Since her plan did not succeed what is there to gain my trying to discuss this with her? From what you have said she has been like this her eintire so at age 50 why would she respond in the proper way to a discussion of this matter? My counsel would be to let it go and ask God to help you forigve and find peace about the matter. Unless I am missing something you should not have to deal with her in the future once the estate is disbursed.

What I am facing now is her lack of willingness to even discuss the disposition of the house. About a month ago I diplomatically broached the subject of buying out her interest in the estate. She refused. She said she would not even consider selling to me or anyone else until she consulted with "experts". Right after my father's funeral she was going around asking people secretly, "Did my father ever mention anything to you about changing his will?" Included in all that were horrible statements about me and my wife. My lawyer thinks she was fishing for potential witnesses that could testify concerning dad's "intentions", hoping that a judge would grant her ownership based on that. Of course this would never hold up in court, but the fact that she was still attempting to undermine me when she should have been in mourning is very telling. Thus, I think her reference to wanting to consult "experts" points to her still believing there is a way to pull of her scheme. Thankfully, she does not have the financial resources to hire these "experts". Understand, we are talking about a home built in 1938 that is desperate need of upgrades. In fact, if a contractor were to be used, the cost of the repairs would be more than the value of the home and 10 acres of land combined.

When I offered to buy her out, she told me that she has no intention of ever paying rent or having a mortgage, or having a student loan. Thus it seems her plan was to live there as the place fell in around her, never having to worry about buying me out. She simply is out of touch with reality. So for these reasons, I feel I have little choice but to pull out the aces I've had up my sleeve. I respect her rights as half-owner and always have. I pray she will just take the money and go.

Another areas of concern is my children. She's been dropping hints about taking them places lately after ignoring them for months. But my wife is having none of that, and I cannot blame her. I can't get too excited either about sending my kids off with someone who despises their parents and has tried to undermine them, even if it is my sister. Apparently, it never occurred to her that one day her neices will understand what happened and might not feel so warmly towards her. She has given no thought concerning who's going to care for her in her old age.

UUUGGHH!!

Thanks for caring, sharing, and praying.