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  #101  
Old 05-19-2017, 12:03 PM
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Re: Trumpcare: Pre-existing Conditions Not Covered

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Originally Posted by n david View Post
I met and married my wife within a few months. I followed Paul's advice.

I'm not going to claim that I wasn't sexually attracted to her, obviously I was and still am or we wouldn't have 3 kids.

But the marriage bed is undefiled, and that requires me bringing my flesh and physical desires under control. I'm not a prude, but I'm not lascivious either.
It's a tight line to walk.

I never want to assign the GUILT and SHAME to normal-occurring sexual stuff and things that are bound to happen.

I felt like that particular Pastor was giving me a license to masturbate as long as it was not too often and as long as the thoughts were within the normal range of acceptable sexual limits.

I think that is wrong and, based on scripture, I would rather clearly identify sin, and identify the Grace that is sufficient for us-- that Grace that saved us, knowing and covering all of our sins we have already committed and the sins that we will commit.

NOTHING catches God off guard.
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  #102  
Old 05-19-2017, 12:06 PM
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Re: Trumpcare: Pre-existing Conditions Not Covered

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Not at all. Again, not everything "normal and healthy" is holy. You (or your pastor) cannot claim that fantasizing about sex with a woman in your mind is okay because it's not lust. Fantasizing is lust is sin. Sorrynotsorry.
While stationed in Okinawa (aged 19 - 21), there were married UPCI men, brothers of mine older than me in age and maturity, who told me in those days that it was ok for them to masturbate because they were married and their wives were back home waiting on them.

It was not ok for me to masturbate because I didn't have a wife to legally fantasize about.

I didn't buy that then and I don't buy that now.

Still respected those brothers though. We were all trying to please the Lord the best ways we knew.
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Last edited by Jermyn Davidson; 05-19-2017 at 12:15 PM.
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  #103  
Old 05-19-2017, 12:11 PM
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Re: Trumpcare: Pre-existing Conditions Not Covered

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Originally Posted by Aquila View Post
You have kids don't you n david? Did you tell your kids that sexual thoughts, desires, etc. are sin?

What happens when a boy has completely associated the desire for a woman with being sinful? He's sworn to God that he'll never think it again for the 10,000th time and now he's on his knees feeling like he's failed God to the point wherein there's no hope. The psychological ramifications can open the door to an abomination. I'm lovingly warning you. If it becomes obvious that your son digs girls... he stares a bit too long... or daydreams after a woman walks by. Don't rebuke him. Don't tell him he's a monster for being a man. Assure him that his feelings and desires are normal and healthy. They indicate he's becoming a man. Encourage him to have the courage to introduce himself and get to know girls. And assure him that on some random day he'll unexpectedly meet... "the one" who will capture his thoughts, dreams, and fantasies for the rest of his life.

Help him embrace being a man.
It. Can. Happen. And. When. It. Does. The. Father. Son. Relationship. Is. Already. Dysfunctional.


Sometimes, strangely, fathers have a hard time relating to their sons or the sons they are raising.


The Bible talks about how we are not to be deceived about satan's abilities to be conniving and destructive especially when a person is ensnared in a sin and especially when that person is immature in age and in Christ.


I've seen this with my own eyes.
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Last edited by Jermyn Davidson; 05-19-2017 at 12:19 PM.
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  #104  
Old 05-19-2017, 12:56 PM
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Re: Trumpcare: Pre-existing Conditions Not Covered

I know a brother whose father caught him. His father began screaming at him, calling him a pervert. His father proceeded to call him an "animal". The father then told the pastor, and scheduled counseling, with the dad sitting in. In the counseling, the pastor and the father said the sin was a form of sodomy, homosexual, because by stimulating himself, he was being stimulated and stimulating his own male self. Eventually word got around because the dad shared it with other dads.

The boy fought it and fought it. When he'd go to the altar, the church acted like it was the battle of his life. He continued to struggle with it, and began thinking that maybe he was gay. His church taught that gays are reprobate. So, when old enough to leave home, he left the church and found the social scene. He began drinking and eventually began having sex with other men. But he kept going back to straight porn. So, he tried dating women. He thought he might be straight, but kept going back to men after falling into self stimulation. He was deeply confused. His dad tried to get him to come back to church, but the young man has a deep hatred for the church.

I only know this because his father told me about it with tears streaming down his face. He no longer goes to that church. He said how he handled his son is one of the things he regrets most.

Guys, we need to be more secure in our manhood. We should celebrate it, thank God for it, and realize our design is something God himself called... good.
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Last edited by Aquila; 05-19-2017 at 01:07 PM.
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  #105  
Old 05-19-2017, 01:09 PM
n david n david is offline
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Re: Trumpcare: Pre-existing Conditions Not Covered

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Originally Posted by Aquila View Post
Guys, we need to be more secure in our manhood. We should celebrate it, thank God for it, and realize our design is something God himself. called good.
Sorry to have to state this again, but being secured in manhood is a far cry from fantasizing about sex with women to pleasure yourself.
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  #106  
Old 05-19-2017, 01:21 PM
n david n david is offline
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Re: Trumpcare: Pre-existing Conditions Not Covered

I know of boy's who were good kids, then a youth pastor/assistant pastor told them the lie your pastor told you. "It's okay. It's healthy and normal. Better to do that than to have sex with a girl." They became addicted to it. A couple of them didn't stop at fantasizing in their mind and became addicted to porn. A few told me they tried praying and reading their Bibles but felt too convicted. All but one left the church completely and are living in sin and sexual perversion.

Don't tell me it's okay to live a holy life while still fantasizing about having sex with women in your mind. It's lust. It's sin.
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  #107  
Old 05-19-2017, 01:45 PM
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Re: Trumpcare: Pre-existing Conditions Not Covered

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Sorry to have to state this again, but being secured in manhood is a far cry from fantasizing about sex with women to pleasure yourself.
You're right. However, desiring a woman and thinking about being with a woman is normal and reasonable. Masturbation too is normal, typically it's a stage that dies down in time and becomes something that occurs occasionally. When men become engaged, they typically think about their bride to be. And after marriage thoughts become focused on their mates. It's all perfectly normal, not sinful.

Now, if you gaze upon porn or another woman, with the intention of exploiting them, that's a sin. And the problem is the heart.

Some ask the difference between porn and fantasy. First, men typically would never act on a fantasy. Second, a fantasy is more like a fictional story or circumstance, there is no reality attached. Third, it's deeply personal, and is typically about someone one is truly interested in. However, porn is the image of a real woman who is being exploited for millions of men to feverishly desire. Her image and humanity is used and thrown away. Those women are often selling their bodies to support a drug habit. They are often abused and harassed. It's also an industry, profiting off the exploitation of women. Real women suffer from porn. It also distracts from the normal thoughts one should have about their mate or mate to be. And, it distorts expectations, leaving relations with a real woman less exciting. It also objectifies women, leaving one incapable of having a normal friendship with a woman without undressing her in the heat. It's sexual crack. It's a Satanic distortion of what a healthy desire for a mate should be.
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Last edited by Aquila; 05-19-2017 at 01:58 PM.
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  #108  
Old 05-19-2017, 01:47 PM
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Re: Trumpcare: Pre-existing Conditions Not Covered

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Originally Posted by n david View Post
I know of boy's who were good kids, then a youth pastor/assistant pastor told them the lie your pastor told you. "It's okay. It's healthy and normal. Better to do that than to have sex with a girl." They became addicted to it. A couple of them didn't stop at fantasizing in their mind and became addicted to porn. A few told me they tried praying and reading their Bibles but felt too convicted. All but one left the church completely and are living in sin and sexual perversion.

Don't tell me it's okay to live a holy life while still fantasizing about having sex with women in your mind. It's lust. It's sin.
If you really read what I'm saying, I said nothing that would approve of any of that. I think you're projecting.
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  #109  
Old 05-19-2017, 04:32 PM
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Re: Trumpcare: Pre-existing Conditions Not Covered

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If you really read what I'm saying, I said nothing that would approve of any of that. I think you're projecting.
Probably not projecting...

Sexual sin is dangerous. We all know of horror stories of what can happen to the immature when it's not addressed properly. On our best days, on our worst days, it is the Grace of God ONLY that sustains us.

Ultimately, you have to know the Word of God and know the child / young adult / or person you are advising.
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  #110  
Old 05-19-2017, 05:01 PM
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Re: Trumpcare: Pre-existing Conditions Not Covered

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Probably not projecting...

Sexual sin is dangerous. We all know of horror stories of what can happen to the immature when it's not addressed properly. On our best days, on our worst days, it is the Grace of God ONLY that sustains us.

Ultimately, you have to know the Word of God and know the child / young adult / or person you are advising.
Amen.
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