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Old 04-24-2019, 09:29 PM
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diakonos diakonos is offline
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Spanking of children


What is your opinion on spanking children?

My opinion is that if spanking worked you wouldn’t have to do it again. Inflicting pain confuses a child. I wouldn’t want my child to have an unhealthy fear of me. I’m probably biased because growing up I was hit as the first option. Sometimes yelled and cussed at came first. Sometimes.

I’ll share an experience with you. I did something that required punishment. I was told to get into the shower. I did. After I was nice and wet my mother’s live-in came into the bathroom. He untwisted the wooden plunger stick from the rubber piece. He then proceeded to hit me probably 15-20 times on my bum. I recall the difficulty and pain while sitting at my school desk for maybe a week. I was 7 years old. No big deal. Many have experienced worse.

I don’t think I could spank my child. I don’t grasp this concept of inflicting physical pain on a precious child that I am supposed to love and protect.

If some people hit their spouse like they hit their child they would go to jail.

Your thoughts?
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Old 04-24-2019, 10:12 PM
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Re: Spanking of children

We were spanked all the time for a variety of reasons. That was child rearing 101 back in the 1960's.

I spanked our daughter twice. Just enough swats to draw a tear. She is all grown up and gone now.

I think she was easier to raise than 3 rambunctious boys.
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Old 04-24-2019, 11:28 PM
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Re: Spanking of children

It’s the biblical way to deal with children. I spank them because I love them. I was spanked and it worked. My kids were spanked and it has worked so far. My kids are 18 and 14 and seem to be pretty good. Now hitting someone with a plunger 15-20 times and making them feel it for a week is called child abuse.
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Old 04-25-2019, 08:54 AM
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Re: Spanking of children

Correcting your children, whether it be verbal or physical, is beneficial for their well-being. They should know when they've done wrong, and if spanking is necessary, then that act should take place. I'm not talking about abusing your children, but the Bible itself speaks of not spoiling them.
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Old 04-25-2019, 09:00 AM
Ehud Ehud is offline
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Re: Spanking of children

I have spanked both of my children. My oldest is 6 and hasn't required one in years. My youngest is 3 and the number of times could likely be counted on one hand.

Regardless of how you discipline your children, I would suggest three things: warning, timeliness, and consistency. I have never spanked my child without at least warning them if they did X, the consequence is Y. (How can we expect a child to know something is wrong if they haven't been told?) The punishment should always be immediately following the misbehavior so the punishment is connected to the behavior. (I think it is unfair to expect a child to make a connection between misbehaving in the morning and being punished in the afternoon; e.g. wait until your father gets home.) And if you say 'no', mean 'no'. It is difficult to teach a child any sort of lesson if sometimes 'no' is 'no' but other times 'no' is 'okay, whatever'.

And for what it is worth, I am with hometown guy. What you have described isn't a mere spanking, it's child abuse. That sort of behavior should never be condoned.
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Old 04-25-2019, 09:02 AM
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Re: Spanking of children

Quote:
And for what it is worth, I am with hometown guy. What you have described isn't a mere spanking, it's child abuse. That sort of behavior should never be condoned.
Yes, I know. But it feeds into my bias against spanking.
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Old 04-25-2019, 09:07 AM
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Re: Spanking of children

Quote:
Originally Posted by diakonos View Post

What is your opinion on spanking children?

My opinion is that if spanking worked you wouldn’t have to do it again. Inflicting pain confuses a child. I wouldn’t want my child to have an unhealthy fear of me. I’m probably biased because growing up I was hit as the first option. Sometimes yelled and cussed at came first. Sometimes.

I’ll share an experience with you. I did something that required punishment. I was told to get into the shower. I did. After I was nice and wet my mother’s live-in came into the bathroom. He untwisted the wooden plunger stick from the rubber piece. He then proceeded to hit me probably 15-20 times on my bum. I recall the difficulty and pain while sitting at my school desk for maybe a week. I was 7 years old. No big deal. Many have experienced worse.

I don’t think I could spank my child. I don’t grasp this concept of inflicting physical pain on a precious child that I am supposed to love and protect.

If some people hit their spouse like they hit their child they would go to jail.

Your thoughts?
What happened to you here wasn't correction, it was abuse. Beating a child with a wooden plunger rod perhaps twenty times is severe and cruel. Popping your child on the rear, striking their legs with a switch, popping them in the mouth, or getting a hold of their butt with a belt a couple of times isn't abuse. That's correction.

There's a difference.
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I am Apostolic
I believe in One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism.
I believe in water baptism by immersion in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ for the remission of sins.
I believe in the baptism of the Holy Ghost, evidenced by speaking in tongues as the Spirit gives utterance.
I believe in living a holiness lifestyle, inwardly and outwardly, without which no man shall see the Lord.
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Old 04-25-2019, 09:12 AM
Ehud Ehud is offline
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Re: Spanking of children

Quote:
Originally Posted by diakonos View Post
Yes, I know. But it feeds into my bias against spanking.
I understand, but I don't believe it should. Someone misapplying the concept shouldn't affect whether or not spanking is proper. That would be like saying because so-and-so abused pain pills, I'm not going to take any after having my wisdom teeth removed.

=============================================

Just to clarify, much like no one is required to take those pain pills after having wisdom teeth removed, I am certainly not telling you that you should definitely spank your child. I'm simply saying don't let a previous bad experience be the deciding factor.

Last edited by Ehud; 04-25-2019 at 09:21 AM.
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Old 04-25-2019, 09:58 AM
Tithesmeister Tithesmeister is offline
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Re: Spanking of children

This is a needful conversation to have.

My thoughts:

Spanking is needful to proper rearing of children. It should ALWAYS be done out of love for the child and concern for their safety and well-being. It may be done in anger, but it should not be in rage. They should always know unquestionably that they are loved. Don’t worry they are plenty smart enough to understand the difference.

Spanking is not a substitute for a relationship with your children. Sometimes spanking can become a substitute (in the parents mind) for a relationship that is lacking. It can become a lazy way of raising children. If and when you spank it should be after you have a clear understanding with your child that your expectation is for this certain behavior, and that the behavior that they exhibited is unacceptable.

If you think of the tool chest of a carpenter, (to use an analogy) it should be one of the tools of many that are available for use, but it should be used judiciously and only when the situation calls for it. Just as a carpenter may have need of a sledgehammer, parents will have need of corporal punishment. It should NOT be the first choice of the parent, nor should it be your last resort. A carpenter doesn’t use a sledgehammer to hang molding, neither should a parent spank to correct minor misbehavior. Sometimes raising an eyebrow is more effective than a whip. NO AMOUNT OF SPANKING CAN TAKE THE PLACE OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILD.

Scott mentioned that girls seem to require less spanking. This has been my experience as well.

I was spanked as a child and I believe it was justified. I probably got some I didn’t deserve, but there is no doubt I deserved many more that I didn’t get.

The respect of your own children should be the product of proper rearing, which will occasionally include the proper use of corporal punishment. That respect may not happen overnight (especially with teenagers) but it should be the end result.
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Old 04-25-2019, 11:13 AM
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Re: Spanking of children

Quote:
Originally Posted by Holy Roller View Post
What happened to you here wasn't correction, it was abuse. Beating a child with a wooden plunger rod perhaps twenty times is severe and cruel. Popping your child on the rear, striking their legs with a switch, popping them in the mouth, or getting a hold of their butt with a belt a couple of times isn't abuse. That's correction.

There's a difference.
Yes, I know. But why inflict physical pain? People don’t hit their pets to train them, but spanking a child to get the desired result is acceptable? I don’t get it.
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