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Prayer Closet The place to post prayer requests & testimonies. All new requests will auto-stick in Fellowship Hall for 48 hours.


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  #1  
Old 11-11-2014, 07:34 AM
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MarkBelosa MarkBelosa is offline
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Wisdom and Guidance

I have been trying to "help" someone get back on his feet but it seems that his situation is not getting better. I have prayed for him and have tried my best to be patient and kind and understanding but he's not being cooperative.

I apologize if the request is vague but this is important for me. I want to do what is right in the sight of God. He knows that I have a sincere desire to help him but I'm not sure if what I am doing is really helping him or not.

He also needs salvation. I believe he is suffering from depression. He also might be struggling with substance abuse.
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Old 11-11-2014, 07:55 PM
shazeep shazeep is offline
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Re: Wisdom and Guidance

Not being cooperative? Did this person ask you for help?
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Old 11-11-2014, 09:08 PM
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MarkBelosa MarkBelosa is offline
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Re: Wisdom and Guidance

Quote:
Originally Posted by shazeep View Post
Not being cooperative? Did this person ask you for help?
Yes.

Here's an update. A church brother who knows this guy warned me to be careful because he has heard him speak negative things about me - kind of threatening, because I told him yesterday that I can no longer help him the way he wanted me to. He is blaming me for not being able to go to work the past couple of days because I didn't lend him money.

A few weeks ago, we agreed on a plan of action but he is not doing his part. He has lied to me several times but I tried to be understanding and forgiving, because, who knows, God may be using his situation to lead him to salvation. I helped him get a job and we agreed that I will help him budget his money so he can pay off his debts, etc. He received enough money last week to sustain him until his next pay but he never showed up after he got it. And then the other night he knocked on my door asking for money again.

I spoke to him directly that night, and God knows I tried my best to be nice. But I may have said a couple of things that hurt him.
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Old 11-12-2014, 12:58 AM
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MarkBelosa MarkBelosa is offline
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Re: Wisdom and Guidance

By cooperative, I guess what I'm saying is, he's not doing his part. He knows that he needs help and he knows that I am willing to help him but he's not being true to his commitment - he's often absent/late and he has failed his assessments a couple of times despite the fact that he is an experienced worker in his field (he was even a trainer at some point).

I was his supervisor from our previous job. He once told me, not too long ago, that if it were not for me, he would have committed a crime (robbery or something) because of his situation. He got a nice job when he left our previous company, but he got depressed when his partner left him and things went downhill from there. He lost his job due to excessive absenteeism.


We live in the same apartment (with two other church brothers) and our neighbors have long suspected that he's a drug addict but I really don't have any evidence to prove that. It could be true, though, based on his seeming lack of judgment, his countenance and his money problems. Or it could just be lack of sleep and excessive time on computer games. He could also be hooked on gambling (based on some stuff that he told me long ago)

He hasn't paid his rent since June and I have been lending him money for his daily allowance. He received his pay on the 5th. His next pay is on the 20th. Our agreement was that I'm going to manage his finances until he can manage on his own. We were supposed to study a Life Coaching module and I'm going to teach him stuff so he can earn extra income, etc.

He never talked to me after he got his first pay from his new job. If he had any sense of responsibility left in him, he would have made sure not to spend all his money so he wouldn't have to borrow from me.

I told him last night that I can no longer lend him money. He's free to stay until the 20th (supposedly his next pay day) but after that I can no longer make him stay. I told him that I can still give him advise or lend my ears if he feels depressed or needs counsel but that's it. I reached out to his sister via facebook but I haven't gotten any response. I also told him that whether he decides to pay me back or not, it's up to him.

I hope I am doing the right thing. If not, Lord, forgive me and please show me the way.

Last edited by MarkBelosa; 11-12-2014 at 01:06 AM.
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Old 11-12-2014, 05:55 AM
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MarkBelosa MarkBelosa is offline
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Re: Wisdom and Guidance

I know this thread sounds more like a prayer request for me but really, I would like to ask that you help me pray for him. May Jesus have mercy on Him.
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Old 11-12-2014, 03:10 PM
shazeep shazeep is offline
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Re: Wisdom and Guidance

I pray that God's Will be done in the matter, and personally wish you the best. Sounds like you have a decent handle on any enabling. Those can be tough situations. As a former addict I can say that it was necessary to hit bottom before I could rise again, and anyone crazy enough to try to help me on the way down just ended up suffering with me.
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Old 11-12-2014, 03:18 PM
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KeptByTheWord KeptByTheWord is offline
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Re: Wisdom and Guidance

I would amen shazeep comments. It sounds as if this guy is using you as a crutch to enable a habit that he doesn't want to share with you -whether it be drugs, gambling, laziness, or all of those. I would be careful going forward if his work ethic doesn't change. If he has truly had a heart change, he will put forth the effort to work, and change will then be able to come for him.

Remember that even the Apostle Paul warned against those who could work and didn't, and used some strong words. Read II Thes. 3 to see how Paul felt about those who didn't have good work ethics.

I will pray that the Lord continues to give you wisdom. We have dealt with a similar situation with a family member, who we have tried to help time and time and time again, and sadly had to come to the realization that until he really began to try to help himself, there wasn't much we could do along the way... but to pray!
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Old 11-13-2014, 06:45 AM
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MarkBelosa MarkBelosa is offline
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Re: Wisdom and Guidance

Thank you for your prayers and insights.

I had an interesting conversation with him earlier when he "knocked" on my door again. There were tears - I think the first time I saw him break down like that. Must have been something I said or could be God working through our prayers.

I also took the opportunity to talk to him about the Lord and invited him to church. He didn't come with me tonight (Prayer Meeting) but he might be able to attend this Sunday.
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  #9  
Old 11-13-2014, 06:46 AM
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Re: Wisdom and Guidance

The Prayer Meeting tonight btw went awesome. What a mighty God we serve!
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  #10  
Old 11-21-2014, 09:57 AM
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Re: Wisdom and Guidance

Update: Today is his last day in our apartment. I thank God for His peace. I believe this is the right thing to do. Thank you for your prayers and advice.
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