You might be Pentecostal if ....

[Kay B]

32. Your 4 year old runs through Wal-Mart shouting, "Praise the Lord! *clap, clap* Yes, Lord! Yes, Lord! Thank you Jesus! Hallelujah!!"

[Sam]

Originally Posted by BrotherEastman

Maybe a lukewarm pentecostal. LOL!

OK, rephrase that to use the word "monitor" instead of "TV."

[Sam]

You left off all these.

You might be Pentecostal if......

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering", five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of,"

The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."

Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

Baptism is referred to as "branding."

There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.

Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

High notes on the organ set the dogs to howling.

People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized livestock watering trough.

The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.

[Monkeyman]

The only split you think is ok is the Tulsa split!

[OneAccord]

Churches are the only landmarks you can remember-

as in...
"You go down Higway 75, you'll pass a white church on yer left, go past it, go to the 2nd church you see, turn left, go a mile past big brick Church of God, turn right....

[OP_Carl]

This is my favorite:

33. Your tan line is below your knees

Originally Posted by OneAccord

Why is it, after you read, re-read, and proof-read, your posts, but you never see that one big mistake until you hit the "Submit" button?

Because life gives you the test before the lesson. Because wisdom is granted retroactively. And mostly - pay attention now, this one's important - because you're a goober. And I mean that in the nicest way possible!

[Brother Price]

Ryan's Steakhouse knows your church's name, how many members, and where they like to sit, all by heart!

[OP_Carl]

Originally Posted by Neckstadt

If you are still watching the "Walton's" on TV reruns with the entire family. You are most likely Pentecostal.

How about, you might be Pentecostal if . . . you wouldn't let your kids finish watching an old "Waltons" DVD because of the moral relativism and anti-hunting propaganda.

[OP_Carl]

Originally Posted by Sam

You left off all these.

You might be Pentecostal if......

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

You might be Pentecostal if . . . .

You've ever had to "float" the light bill because of a special offering!

You are virtually ignorant of the field of science, yet you can convincingly refute the theory of evolution.