Apostolic Friends Forum
Tab Menu 1
Go Back   Apostolic Friends Forum > The Sanctuary > Prayer Closet > Testimonies
Facebook

Notices


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-08-2015, 09:02 PM
Heavenatlast Heavenatlast is offline
Registered Member


 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 7
Smile Second Chance

This is the testimony about how God gave me the opportunity to come back to Him and how He delivered me from depression. I feel the need to give that testimony because I believe that it may help somebody come to Christ and be free from the chains of depression or any other difficulties they may be going through. God is able to use anything to deliver. The Bible say that He is mighty to save and that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Jesus haven't change. If He was healing people 2000 years ago, He can still heal people today. it doesn't matter what it is.
I gave my life to Jesus when I was about 14 years old. Unfortunately when I was about 18 I abandoned the way of the Lord and started living my life just how I wanted to live it. I felt awful but it was hard for me to stop. I was living in fornication, adultery, prostitution, envy, fear and many other things. At one point I became really depressed, I was always sad, sometimes I will cry for 2 to 4 hours, I was crying like I had lost my whole family at once. During those crying time I felt like I was in a very dark hole and I was going deeper and deeper in that hole. I felt like I needed to kill myself in order to end the torments because there was no other way out. Every day I was meditating on the best way to kill myself. I felt like I was dead inside and that my physical body needed to follow my soul in hell. That verse in Deuteronomy 28:66-67 reflect how I felt about my life " And thy life shall hang in doubt before thee; and thou shalt fear day and night, and shalt have none assurance of thy life: In the morning thou shalt say, Would God it were even! and at even thou shalt say, Would God it were morning! for the fear of thine heart wherewith thou shalt fear, and for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see." I always thanks God for not letting me kill myself.
During that period of my life, I felt very much alone. I didn't want to spend time with my friends or family because I felt like I was a burden and they wouldn't know what to do with me especially because of how sad I was.When I shared my feelings with my boyfriend at the time, he told me that I was manic depressive and that I needed to see a specialist. I didn't believe him because in my head it was impossible for a young woman like me to be depressed. I thought I was just sad because things were not working the way I wanted. However I change my mind when I watched a documentary on depression. I knew then that I was depressed and I knew that something needed to be done because I hated the way I was. I went ahead and googled how to get rid of depression. They gave me several advises that I followed. It was working a little but I was still depressed. My boyfriend at the time introduced me to marijuana saying that it will help me with the depression. I was so desperate that I started using it hoping that it will help stop my sorrows. But it didn't help.
One day I was in my bedroom trying to figure out when I became a sad person ( I used to believe that it was part of my character to be sad and pessimist; my argument was that since there was happy people, it should also exist sad people) . While I was thinking, I find out that it all started when I stop walking according to the will of God. So I took the decision to go back to church because I was really looking for happiness. That's how I end up in my now church.
The first service I attended I Glad Tidings was Underground, a young adult gathering. During worship I was just standing there and staring at people. I made fun of them but at the same time I was envying them. I thought it was crazy that there where believing that God was with them and that He cares about them and was hearing their prayer. In fact during all those years being a backslider (more than 10 years), I stop believing in the God of the Bible. I had made up a "god" in my mind who even though he created heaven and earth and everything that is in it, had abandon us. And it was only the consequences of our actions that determined the outcome of our life. So I was making fun of them because I thought that it was crazy to put their hope in a "god" that was not active in their life. At the same time I was envying them because I wanted to have their hope and trust that somebody other than myself care about me.
During that time of my life I felt alone and abandon I didn't feel like I could trust anybody for my safety, I felt like people were with me because they wanted something from me. Even my own parents I didn't trust them. I hated God, I was blaming Him for the life that I had, I was blaming Him for all the things that went wrong in my life. I felt like my life was the way it was because He had abandon me.
So I was standing there, I couldn't sing, I couldn't pray because I didn't believe that God will listen to me, also because I felt like I was too much of a sinner to talk to Him. In spite of all the confusion inside me, I still felt a form of joy and peace like it was the right place to be. So I kept on going to church.
The more I was going to church, the more I became sensitive to the Gospel. The more I was exposed to the Gospel, the more it became clear that I was the one who was rebellious to God not God who had abandoned me. Even with that revelation it was hard for me to quite all the bad things that I was doing. I was afraid to surrender all to God because I wasn't sure how my life will turn out.
When Underground stop, I wasn't consistent about going to church anymore. So during the fall 2012 I decided to join the choir to kind of force me to be at church every Sunday. I started being really convicted of my sins because I was exposed to the Gospel every Sunday and was around people who have a zeal for God. I was feeling bad for being a double minded Christian.
Toward the end of the year 2012, one of the pastor at church said that verse in Matthew 6:33 " seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." For some reason that spoke to me because it was almost like the answer that I needed from God. I was always giving excuses why I couldn't take my walk with Christ seriously. When I heard that verse, I took the decision to become a "good" Christian.
So when 2013 started, I stop everything I knew was a sin in my life. And I started this Christian life. It was very hard at the beginning because I wasn't used to it, I had to adjust myself. Thanks God at that time we were doing the one year chronological Bible reading. The more I was reading that Bible the more I wanted to know God. So I decided to fast until God give me what I needed. I wanted to know God on a deeper level, and I wanted to have zeal and fire for His work.
On February 2nd, I received a bill from the hospital. At the time I wasn't working and my parents were not able to help me because they were already paying for my tuition. and I was very upset about it because I thought God was going to take care of the bill like He said. I felt like I was seeking the Kingdom of God and His righteousness but He was not doing His part. I was so upset I said all sort of none sense to God. I told Him that He didn't love me because He wouldn't talk to me. I asked him to take my life because I didn't want to see the day when I will be poor and in debt. I cry almost all night because I was so upset. I even decided not to go to church anymore because it wasn't working. But the next day I went to church anyway. That Sunday it was a pastor from New York who was preaching. He talked about chains, how Christians learn how to serve God with chains, They learn how to sing in the choir with chains. I was convicted by the sermon and I repented for being mad at God, for not trusting Him, for being depress and many other sin in my life. And I ask God to help me in my walk with Him and my struggle with depression.
The following Wednesday, I was still fasting. It was in afternoon around 3 pm, I was reading my Bible, then I decided to pray and I started speaking in tongue and I notice that my speaking in tongue was different and I receive a message from God saying : "For a long time you walk on thorny paths far from me. For a long time you chose difficult ways to live your live but those days are over. When you go come back to me. I am the Lord I am talking to you listen to me. I am the living God I am talking to you listen to me. I am Emmanuel I am with you: walk according to my commandments, walk according to my statutes, I am with you. Change your life into a life of prayer, for the prayer is your strength, it's your shield. Change your life into a life of prayer don't be lazy"
I received a joy that I can't even explain. I was so happy. I started dancing and singing in my living room. I had so much peace I felt like I could do everything nothing could stop me. I believe that's when God deliver me from depression. Because after that I didn't have any episode where I would cry and cry for no reason and wish I was dead. That night I couldn't sleep because I was too happy, I sang praises all night I had so much energy. After that my hunger for God grow even more. I was thirsty for the word of God. I was reading the Bible sometime until 3 in morning.
My life have never been the same again. I am so thankful to God for giving me a second chance, for giving me life, I was so dead before. All I want to do is to consecrate my whole life to Him. It is not easy but it is worth it.
The Lord Jesus Christ delivered me and He can do the same for you. All you have to do is to trust Him and believe in Him. Ask Him to deliver you and He will.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-09-2015, 05:08 AM
Lafon's Avatar
Lafon Lafon is offline
Registered Member


 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,258
Re: Second Chance

Great testimony to God's faithfulness (although difficult to read because of the way it is written - breaking it down into many different paragraphs or one-liners would have made it much easier to read).

I pray others will take the time to read & be encouraged by your testimony.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-09-2015, 08:09 AM
Sean Sean is offline
Banned


 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 23,543
Re: Second Chance

........I received a joy that I can't even explain. I was so happy. I started dancing and singing in my living room. I had so much peace I felt like I could do everything nothing could stop me. I believe that's when God deliver me from depression. Because after that I didn't have any episode where I would cry and cry for no reason and wish I was dead. That night I couldn't sleep because I was too happy, I sang praises all night I had so much energy. After that my hunger for God grow even more. I was thirsty for the word of God. I was reading the Bible sometime until 3 in morning.
My life have never been the same again. I am so thankful to God for giving me a second chance, for giving me life, I was so dead before. All I want to do is to consecrate my whole life to Him. It is not easy but it is worth it.
The Lord Jesus Christ delivered me and He can do the same for you. All you have to do is to trust Him and believe in Him. Ask Him to deliver you and He will.






Awesome testimony sis......
Now, if you want to stay victorious......

#1 Realize(make up your mind) that this life is NOT about you anymore, but about the Kingdom of your Lord Jesus(your new priority).

#2 Never fall back into sin again(this is where it all began),

#3 And spend your days walking in the power of the Holy Ghost.

Nothing, and I mean nothing can overcome you with this mindset!!!

Last edited by Sean; 04-09-2015 at 08:16 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 04-09-2015, 12:03 PM
KeptByTheWord's Avatar
KeptByTheWord KeptByTheWord is offline
On the road less traveled


 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: On a mountain... somewhere
Posts: 8,369
Re: Second Chance

Wonderful testimony sister! Sean also gave you some great advice and I it! May the Lord Jesus continue to be the front, foremost and center part of all that you do!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 04-09-2015, 08:41 PM
Heavenatlast Heavenatlast is offline
Registered Member


 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 7
Re: Second Chance

Thank you guys!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sean View Post
Awesome testimony sis......
Now, if you want to stay victorious......

#1 Realize(make up your mind) that this life is NOT about you anymore, but about the Kingdom of your Lord Jesus(your new priority).

#2 Never fall back into sin again(this is where it all began),

#3 And spend your days walking in the power of the Holy Ghost.

Nothing, and I mean nothing can overcome you with this mindset!!!
This is indeed a very good advise and I pray the Lord will give me the strength to make Him my priority and continue on he narrow way.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 04-12-2015, 04:26 PM
Livelystone's Avatar
Livelystone Livelystone is offline
Registered Member


 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 171
Re: Second Chance

Nice testimony,

Thanks for sharing
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Does Santorum Have A Chance? Dedicated Mind Political Talk 7 03-14-2012 01:03 PM
Does He Stand A Chance ? Scott Hutchinson Political Talk 5 04-27-2011 12:52 PM
After Death, do we have a second chance? MrsMcD Deep Waters 9 05-23-2008 10:10 AM
Chance Of A Lifetime!!!!! NLYP Fellowship Hall 58 06-29-2007 06:32 AM

 
User Infomation
Your Avatar

Latest Threads
- by Salome

Help Support AFF!

Advertisement




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:31 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.