Help Me Help My Uncle

Fiyahstarter · #1 01-25-2009, 10:18 PM

I've been caring for my 75-year old uncle now for about 6 months. He has a semi-mild case of Parkinsons disease. He also has a manageable case of prostate cancer (more pills). He also drinks heavily. BUT NOW, over the past month, he has developed some serious dementia.

In the beginning, I felt SURE the Lord wanted me here to help my uncle, to witness to my uncle... but day by day, he becomes more unruly and more unmanageable. He has bursts of ANGER and although I pray, and come up against spirits in his home, I feel helpless.

My grandmother (his mother) was a mighty woman of God... so I know my uncle has roots in the Lord ... but the more the days go by, the less and less he understands. I feel like I'm running out of time with him.

I am at my wits end and would love to hear any advice and would particularly welcome your prayers!

Thanks in advance!

Cindy · #2 01-25-2009, 10:21 PM

Will be in prayer for y'all. Does he have medical care?

Fiyahstarter · #3 01-25-2009, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cindy

Will be in prayer for y'all. Does he have medical care?

Doctors galore, yes. No live-in help, tho. I am his connection to the world (and to the Lord).

I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job, tho.

TalkLady · #4 01-25-2009, 10:49 PM

Will he listen to music?...Classical, inspiration, relaxation tapes, easy listening, gospel, etc.? Can you take him outside to view nature and have discussions? Does he like to work puzzles?...Are there any people his age in the church or community who might be willing to visit and offer him some friendship?...Is there a senior citizens group that you might encourage him to be involved in at all - if not in the church, in the community? What about your pastor? Will he come to visit?

Prayer is the best thing that any of us can do .....Try to get him involved in some type of project to give him something to wake up for besides drinking.

I know this sounds overly simplistic. Sometimes the more simple, the better for the elderly. Ask his doctors for suggestions..I know you probably already have.

I will be praying for you and your uncle.

Fiyahstarter · #5 01-25-2009, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TalkLady

Will he listen to music?...Classical, inspiration, relaxation tapes, easy listening, gospel, etc.? Can you take him outside to view nature and have discussions? Does he like to work puzzles?...Are there any people his age in the church or community who might be willing to visit and offer him some friendship?...Is there a senior citizens group that you might encourage him to be involved in at all - if not in the church, in the community? What about your pastor? Will he come to visit?

Prayer is the best thing that any of us can do .....Try to get him involved in some type of project to help him something to wake up for besides drinking.

I know this sounds overly simplistic. Sometimes the more simple, the better for the elderly. Ask his doctors for suggestions..I know you probably already have.

I will be praying for you and your uncle.

Thanks, and yes. He loves country music. Gene Autry is his favorite ... (gag... LOL) ... "Gene Autry was the original singing cowbilly" (my unlce tells me this 20 times a day!!!) He watches westerns all day long. I found a Gospel Tape that Gene Autry put out. And when I take Uncle for rides in the truck, I put that in. It DOES seem to soothe him. I would DIE to ask my pastor out. I mean, my uncle comes out with the most random cussing and remarks you'd never believe. (But I guess pastors are used to that, huh???) I think my uncle would FREAK.

We have our next Dr. appointment coming up in a week. This dementia has set in with suddenness and with a vengeance. It's very scary to see someone go from being fairly self-sufficient one week, to having forgotten how to dress himself 4 weeks later. That's why I say, I feel like my time is running out to make a difference.

Thanks for the prayer!

bishoph · #6 01-26-2009, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fiyahstarter

Doctors galore, yes. No live-in help, tho. I am his connection to the world (and to the Lord).

I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job, tho.

check his meds...........the likelihood of this rapid onset dementia is not usually a normal occurrence, was there a change in his medication within the last couple of months, change in medical care etc? I have been down this road before and while he may have some issues developing, my first response would be to look at the meds.

We will be praying for him and you!

BTW Please ask your pastor to come, he would probably love the opportunity to minister to the need.

Kay B · #7 01-26-2009, 03:02 AM

Praying for your uncle and for you.
I agree with bishoph about the meds and about inviting your pastor to visit.

MrsMcD · #8 01-26-2009, 07:51 AM

What a sad situation. Praying for you and your uncle.

MissBrattified · #9 01-26-2009, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fiyahstarter

I've been caring for my 75-year old uncle now for about 6 months. He has a semi-mild case of Parkinsons disease. He also has a manageable case of prostate cancer (more pills). He also drinks heavily. BUT NOW, over the past month, he has developed some serious dementia.

In the beginning, I felt SURE the Lord wanted me here to help my uncle, to witness to my uncle... but day by day, he becomes more unruly and more unmanageable. He has bursts of ANGER and although I pray, and come up against spirits in his home, I feel helpless.

My grandmother (his mother) was a mighty woman of God... so I know my uncle has roots in the Lord ... but the more the days go by, the less and less he understands. I feel like I'm running out of time with him.

I am at my wits end and would love to hear any advice and would particularly welcome your prayers!

Thanks in advance!

My father suffered some dementia (progressively within his last year) before he passed away. It's like dealing with a child, many times. You can't hold him responsible for what he says or does--he doesn't know what he's doing. Just be patient, and let the Lord be your comfort.

As for his salvation--I can't answer those questions, but God is a merciful God. You need to put your uncle in His hands, and just focus on helping your aunt and taking good care of him.

I truly understand...one time I went into my father's hospital room, and it seemed that he was lucid, that I had him "back" for a few minutes, so I started talking to him about my day, things that worried me, etc. Within a couple of minutes I realized that he didn't understand anything I was saying. All I could do at that point was put my head on the edge of the bed and cry my eyes out.

However, with all the struggle, I am happy that I had the opportunity to be right with him in the last few months of his life, whether he knew I was there or not. It may be hard now, but it's one of those things you won't regret later.

Fiyahstarter · #10 01-26-2009, 08:02 AM

Thanks for help and prayers. My uncle has no wife; has no children. His brother (my father) has also passed. So its just me and my sister. It's hard.

No change on the meds, but he takes like 19 pills a day... so who knows. Thanks for the clue that "sudden dementia" is not normal. I will talk with his doctor.

Please pray for my uncle to be open/receptive to God's spirit... which is dancing all over this place right now!!! Praise God.

Thanks guys. This IS what we are all about, huh?