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  #121  
Old 05-09-2007, 06:26 PM
Rico Rico is offline
Shaking the dust off my shoes.


 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Epley View Post
It did because I nursed and fed the stupid thing. I hope someone would learn from my stupidity.
Quit feeding the thing, refuse to discuss it, refuse to meditate on it, get up and go on with life it is too short to waste on folks who could care less they hurt you. The ones who hurt you are enjoying life they are not worrying how they hurt you.
Go get a banana split or chocolate sundae and find someone to laugh with.

Some said "life is to short to dance with an ugly woman."

Enjoy the people who love you and forget those who could care less.
If your arm gets cut off are you going to just ignore it and move on? Think about what you are saying here, Bro. Epley. When you give someone your trust, not just ordinary trust, but a deeper spiritual kind of trust, and they abuse that trust, don't tell me you can just brush it off and get over it. If you can then I seriously doubt that you ever gave that person any real trust to begin with.
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  #122  
Old 05-09-2007, 06:28 PM
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ILG ILG is offline
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Originally Posted by Steve Epley View Post
Rico some folks are preacher haters I have no idea if that fits you or not but it is a fact. Just like there are merciless preachers there are so-called saints that are rengades and vandals. But you have NOT seen me deal with saints that have been abused all you have seen is my reaction to whiny, folks filled with self pity that love the badge of victim and blame everything from the price of gas to the 911 episode on Apostolic preachers and saints. People that have been abused need to stop abusing themselves wallowing in their past miseries and get on with life.
SE, I have been abused by both preachers and saints. But, I agree with Rico. Your balance is FAR to the side of killing the wounded IMO.
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  #123  
Old 05-09-2007, 06:32 PM
Rico Rico is offline
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Originally Posted by Ronzo View Post
So are you saying your saints are your children? lol
Dat's what I was thinkin. LOL
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  #124  
Old 05-09-2007, 06:42 PM
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Subdued Subdued is offline
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Originally Posted by ILG View Post
SE, I have been abused by both preachers and saints. But, I agree with Rico. Your balance is FAR to the side of killing the wounded IMO.
It definitely seems that way, sadly. However, I don't know how he deals with real life situations. Hopefully, much differently.

I'll tell ya, I spent YEARS stuck because of being told to just "let it go." I needed INSTRUCTION on how to do that. Thankfully, I never gave up - I just kept pressing on until I found someone(s) who gave caring, consistent guidance. I'm a blessed person, that's for sure!!!!!!!
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  #125  
Old 05-09-2007, 06:43 PM
berkeley berkeley is offline
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I never met a spiritually abusive pastor... have met spiritually abusive saints...
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  #126  
Old 05-09-2007, 06:45 PM
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ILG ILG is offline
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Originally Posted by Subdued View Post
It definitely seems that way, sadly. However, I don't know how he deals with real life situations. Hopefully, much differently.

I'll tell ya, I spent YEARS stuck because of being told to just "let it go." I needed INSTRUCTION on how to do that. Thankfully, I never gave up - I just kept pressing on until I found someone(s) who gave caring, consistent guidance. I'm a blessed person, that's for sure!!!!!!!
Right. Unfortunalely being told constantly to just "let it go" actually makes it harder because then there is pressure on top of the hurt.
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  #127  
Old 05-09-2007, 06:52 PM
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Subdued Subdued is offline
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Originally Posted by ILG View Post
Right. Unfortunalely being told constantly to just "let it go" actually makes it harder because then there is pressure on top of the hurt.
Exactly. What I found was that there were times I thought I had "let it go," but then it would all seem to sneak back up on me. I'm sure you know the process/cycle - the guilt, the self-condemnation, etc. I thought, "What is WRONG with me?!" What was actually happening was that I was going through a process - I was HEALING; and that took time, attention, energy, prayer, on and on. Healing doesn't typically happen instantly. Spiritual, emotional, and physical wounds need treatment and time to HEAL properly.
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  #128  
Old 05-09-2007, 07:56 PM
Rico Rico is offline
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What has been the most difficult for me is that I had already let some things go that happened with one pastor, only to have other things happen with another pastor. When you finally get to that point of being able to trust again, just to have something else happen, it has to be one of the most discouraging things someone can face. At least it has been for me.
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  #129  
Old 05-09-2007, 08:24 PM
Michlow Michlow is offline
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Originally Posted by Rico View Post
What has been the most difficult for me is that I had already let some things go that happened with one pastor, only to have other things happen with another pastor. When you finally get to that point of being able to trust again, just to have something else happen, it has to be one of the most discouraging things someone can face. At least it has been for me.
I agree! That makes it 10 times as difficult!
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  #130  
Old 05-09-2007, 08:35 PM
TalkLady TalkLady is offline
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Originally Posted by originalsecretplace View Post
Is there such a thing as systemic spiritual abuse rather than one-on-one spiritual abuse?

What I see as a problem is not exactly what pastors do to saints and vice-versa but the system that allows or even promotes it. There is a culture of abuse. For example, the pharisees had a culture of making rules and then those rules being made into "commandments". Thus someone breaking the rules (for instance a jew) and someone allowing a rule to be broken (a pharisee but not of the ilk that loved the rules more than the people) both would be put in a potential position to be abused by the system.

The system being the culture and those that loved it more than God or people.

There were pharisees in Jesus' day that believed in Jesus but weren't allowed freedom to believe in Him because of their place in the system.

I read that book quite a while ago. The author mentions abuse against pastors as well as against saints.

Definition I found on-line:

Spiritual abuse is the misuse of a position of power, leadership, or influence to further the selfish interests of someone other than the individual who needs help. Sometimes abuse arises out of a doctrinal position. At other times it occurs because of legitimate personal needs of a leader that are being met by illegitimate means. Spiritually abusive religious systems are sometimes described as legalistic, mind controlling, religiously addictive, and authoritarian.

© Copyright 2000 Watchman Fellowship, Inc.. All rights reserved.
EXCELLENT POST........and I agree that corrupt organizations are the end result...A culture of abuse.
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