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Deep Waters 'Deep Calleth Unto Deep ' -The place to go for Ministry discussions. Please keep it civil. Remember to discuss the issues, not each other.


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  #11  
Old 03-03-2012, 08:56 PM
seekerman seekerman is offline
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Re: left upci yr ago and still messed up

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Originally Posted by live4him View Post
just courious what part of the doctrine u have a disagreement with?
Godhead, baptism, standards, church system.
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  #12  
Old 03-03-2012, 09:02 PM
AreYouReady? AreYouReady? is offline
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Re: left upci yr ago and still messed up

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Originally Posted by live4him View Post
well I have been UPCI for years and was dissappointed about what was going on in the church. what i am talking about is like example i started seeing shorter skirts, and makeup and cut hair and television etc. well it started bothering me. i dont wanna judge anyone but i was raised with all these standards and really didnt have a problem with any of this. i lived it hard. well what broke the camels back was there was a minister here in town who went and told other ministers that we had a television and we didnt. ths minister was a friend of ours and he was in our home. and second of all why would I lie, well another minister called my hubby and said someone called him. now why would a minister of the faith cause so much discord. it bothered me. i started getting angry and came to a point of not even wanting to go back to church. i ended up backsliding but not for long. i cut my hair and started wearing pants. etc. i came to a point where I didnt care, it tore my family up for what i did. and conviction fell on me so hard. our desire is to be in the ministry. i knew i have failed but God brought me out of this, it was a tough situation. and i know things are gonna come my way. I started thinking that i didnt need to abide to the obeying of the pastor. but my spirit was wrong. i wanna live this hard. i do not beleive in television. now if someone wants to have a television thats fine. im not condemning, i beleive in holiness but because of one mans discord I almost lost my faith. I am thankful for Gods changing power. I love the Lord with all my heart and i am striving to become of another organization. I dont care to much for UPCI but i will not condemn. there are good people but i have changed my organizion in the future but God is working it out.
live4him, none of this negates the blood of Christ. Not television, not makeup, not shorter skirts. None of this will save you...only the applied blood of Christ. I am still a oneness believer and I love my trinitarian brothers and sisters too. It is not for me to say someone else is not saved.

People lied on Jesus. Offenses will come but we do not have to stay in a place where we become bitter at somebody else's lie or mistreatment.
Listen to what Christ said:

11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. Matthew 5:11,12.

Hey...I think I am talking to myself more than I am talking to you.
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Last edited by AreYouReady?; 03-03-2012 at 09:05 PM.
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  #13  
Old 03-04-2012, 08:52 AM
bbyrd009 bbyrd009 is offline
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Re: left upci yr ago and still messed up

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Originally Posted by Krt View Post
Not sure where to post this and what to say! Can anyone help me thru this, I tried to search other threads of people going thru this, please leave links if I missed some. Was in UPCI 10 yrs and always felt funny about the "holiness stds" and how strict somethings were. and felt I became so judgemental of others. I felt my other non UPCI friends were more christian like than we were. Alot of things bothered me but yet in UPCI the worship and presence of God and the life changing experiences at the altar are hard to find in other churches. My husband and I haven't been to church for over a yr. I just don't know how to explain how I feel. I am so turned off by church itself now. I have so many mixed feelings inside. I am trying to heal and not have a wall up with God either. and He seems so quiet thru all of this I know He doesn't leave us but I wish He would give my husband and I more guidance and answers... and healing... any advice? does it just take time? can you share what you have been thru if you have gone thru something like this? thank you....
Well, I think you're in the right place. God backs off so we can grow, although knowing that seems little comfort at the time. You are not alone, and see that anything you do to demonstrate life, more abundantly to your circle is planting seeds.

http://www.wikihow.com/Lose-Your-Religion
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  #14  
Old 03-04-2012, 10:12 AM
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Michael Phelps Michael Phelps is offline
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Re: left upci yr ago and still messed up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Krt View Post
Not sure where to post this and what to say! Can anyone help me thru this, I tried to search other threads of people going thru this, please leave links if I missed some. Was in UPCI 10 yrs and always felt funny about the "holiness stds" and how strict somethings were. and felt I became so judgemental of others. I felt my other non UPCI friends were more christian like than we were. Alot of things bothered me but yet in UPCI the worship and presence of God and the life changing experiences at the altar are hard to find in other churches. My husband and I haven't been to church for over a yr. I just don't know how to explain how I feel. I am so turned off by church itself now. I have so many mixed feelings inside. I am trying to heal and not have a wall up with God either. and He seems so quiet thru all of this I know He doesn't leave us but I wish He would give my husband and I more guidance and answers... and healing... any advice? does it just take time? can you share what you have been thru if you have gone thru something like this? thank you....
I left about 7 years ago, after having been raised in it, attending a UPC Bible College, being a licensed minister, and even pastoring a UPC church. It takes a while to get your mind straight. I have no bitterness against the UPC or anyone in it, and I wasn't wronged - have just struggled with most of the standards and doctrine of the UPC all of my life. I stayed in it because it was familiar, and because of the peer pressure. When we finally broke free, of course we had to deal with the unfamiliarity and newness of where we were, and the natural urge is to return to the familiar. This is what many people refer to as "conviction", but it's nothing more than sentimentalism, in my book....like missing a house you've lived in for a long time when you move to a new one.......you will eventually find your balance, but just picture a pendulum....when it's let go, it never goes immediately to the center, it swings back and forth a few times........but, each time it swings a bit less to the extreme, and begins to find it's balance. Hang in there, develop a personal relationship with God that doesn't involve anyone else's idea of what makes God happy and what makes Him mad...........you'll get there!
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  #15  
Old 03-04-2012, 10:14 AM
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KeptByTheWord KeptByTheWord is offline
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Re: left upci yr ago and still messed up

KRT: I understand your pain, and the things you are going through. You will find many similar stories here on AFF. But don't give up on the Lord Jesus. These things too shall pass. There has been some good advice already given.

Finding some other people to home bible study with may help.

But you will have to find that your times of greatest blessing from the Lord may be when you have your own personal prayer time with the Lord. This will strengthen you more than anything else. Read the Bible like it is a lifeline, reading entire books at a time, and asking the Lord to open your understanding.

This is a time of growth and pruning for you. Pruning hurts. But the new growth that will come because of the pruning is worth it.

Will be praying for you. Our family has also been in the situation you describe. But God is faithful. Our relationship with the Lord now is much stronger, and based on a personal relationship with Jesus himself each and EVERY DAY, and not just the 2-3 weekly "pit stops" at church....
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  #16  
Old 03-05-2012, 06:32 AM
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Godsdrummer Godsdrummer is offline
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Re: left upci yr ago and still messed up

If only there were groups like this years ago many that have left performance based religions would not have lost hope because of those still in thier old way judgeing them as lost. I only want to add to what Michael Phelps has said, don't go back, and don't let those that would bring condemnation on you affect you, they are still binded by the traditions of men and not the true word of God. I too was a UPCI pastor, raised in UPCI from the time I was two or three. I too left not over what was done to me but because I did not agree with the doctrines. Take this time to build a deep personal relationship with God by deeper study of his word with your husband asking God to continue to show you what is truly his word not the traditions you were told were his word. I recomend a good book to start you on the way called neo-phariseism.
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  #17  
Old 03-05-2012, 07:44 AM
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Amanah Amanah is offline
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Re: left upci yr ago and still messed up

Philippians 4 is a great comfort to me.

God is promising that if we will take our concerns to him in prayer that he will guard our hearts and minds and give us peace.

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
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  #18  
Old 03-05-2012, 08:22 AM
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ILG ILG is offline
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Re: left upci yr ago and still messed up

We left about 7 years ago over doctrine. (Has it been that long already??) We were wronged, very wronged and yet, that isn't why we left. We left because we no longer agreed. Since we were pastoring we needed to make a choice whether we could continue to lead people into what we no longer believed. Feeling it would be wrong to do that, we left.

At the time, I thought a couple of months out and all issues would be resolved. Was I ever wrong! I found out that the UPC is in my DNA and will be forever. And I'm okay with that now. There is both good and bad about that.

We haven't attended church regularly in a couple of years. I'm okay with that too. I'm happier now than I ever was when I was in the UPC. It takes time to sort things out in your mind.

Take comfort in the idea that it takes time and you will slowly mend. If you make choices based in logic and in your own mind (what you know to be right), I believe you (and I) will be led the right way.

Peace.
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  #19  
Old 03-05-2012, 08:47 AM
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Michael Phelps Michael Phelps is offline
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Re: left upci yr ago and still messed up

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Originally Posted by ILG View Post
We left about 7 years ago over doctrine. (Has it been that long already??) We were wronged, very wronged and yet, that isn't why we left. We left because we no longer agreed. Since we were pastoring we needed to make a choice whether we could continue to lead people into what we no longer believed. Feeling it would be wrong to do that, we left.

At the time, I thought a couple of months out and all issues would be resolved. Was I ever wrong! I found out that the UPC is in my DNA and will be forever. And I'm okay with that now. There is both good and bad about that.

We haven't attended church regularly in a couple of years. I'm okay with that too. I'm happier now than I ever was when I was in the UPC. It takes time to sort things out in your mind.

Take comfort in the idea that it takes time and you will slowly mend. If you make choices based in logic and in your own mind (what you know to be right), I believe you (and I) will be led the right way.

Peace.
__________________
"Many people view their relationship with God like a "color by number" picture. It's easier to let someone else define the boundaries, tell them which blanks to fill in, and what color to use than it is for them to take a blank canvas and seek inspiration from the Source in order to paint their own masterpiece"
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  #20  
Old 03-05-2012, 08:55 AM
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ILG ILG is offline
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Re: left upci yr ago and still messed up

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Originally Posted by Michael Phelps View Post
I see you've been gone 7 years too. I completely agree with what you say about sentimentalism. I do get sentimental and then I remember that my feelings are more based on what I wished the UPC had been rather than on what it really is. If it was the things I had wanted it to be, I never would have left!

I do miss some of it. But mostly, I am glad to be gone. I remember that I can have all those things and be out too.

I think what I miss most of all is knowing what people's belief systems were....it was kind of comforting (in some ways) to know what to expect from people's behavior. However, people often broke the codes and it was highly confusing when they did. I wish people were honorable in the church and out, but mostly, I find it makes no difference. People inside and outside the church can be either honorable or not.
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