Unusual Renditions Of Christmas Songs.

[Scott Hutchinson]

Ok let have some fun,and let's rack our brains a moment.
What are some of the most unusual renditions of Christmas songs that have you ever heard ?
Does something like a heavy-metal act doing Silent Night come to mind ?

[Scott Hutchinson]

Anybody thought of any yet ?

[MrsBOOMM]

Anybody thought of any yet ?


Here's one for ya. Years ago my brother had a lot of them. We laughed for
for hours as we sang them. I'll have to see if I can get them.

I'll be Cloned for Christmas
(To The Tune "I'll be Home for Christmas")


I'll be Cloned for Christmas,
There’ll be three of me;
One to Work, and One to Shop,
And One just for Parties.

Christmas Eve, I'm certain,
I won't be alone;
I'll be home for Christmas,
Or else I'll send a Clone!

[MrsBOOMM]

here's one that i think might be pertinent.....

Web Addiction Holiday Sing Along
(To The Tune of "Winter Wonderland")

Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',
From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',
I'm happy -- although
My boss let me go --
Happily addicted to the Web.

All night long, I sit clicking,
Unaware time is ticking,
There's beard on my cheek,
Same clothes for a week,
Happily addicted to the Web!

Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man!
Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"

With a listless shrug, I mutter "No, man;
I just discovered laugh-a-lot-dot-com!"

I don't phone, don't send faxes,
Don't go out, don't pay taxes,
Who cares if someday, they drag me away?
I’m happily addicted to the Web

I'm happily addicted to the Web!
Happ-ily, ad-dict-ed to the Web!!!

[MrsBOOMM]

Just one more.....then I'll leave you alone. This was too good to pass up.

Twelve Days Of Fast Food
(To The Tune “Twelve days of Christmas”)

On the first day of Christmas,
my drive through gave to me:
a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the second day of Christmas,
my drive through gave to me:
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the third day of Christmas,
my drive through gave to me:
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my drive through gave to me:
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my drive through gave to me:
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Twelve bags of Pepto,
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

[commonsense]

Ah, the true sounds of the season.
When I worked for the bank, one of the supervisors did one that applied to our department. We did it for the company Christmas party. I'll have to look for the words. It was verry funny but a bit too true.:christmasjig

[Adra]

One my children used to sing, it is old, so probably everyone has heard it


Randolph the red neck cowboy

Randolph the redneck cowbly
had a very shiny gun
and if you ever saw it
I am sure that you would run.

All of the other cowboys
(hee haw)
used to laugh and call him names
(like pinoccio)
They never let poor Randolph
(Randolph)
join in any cowboy games.

Then one foggy Christmas eve
The sheriff came to say
Randolph with your gun so bright
won't you shoot my wife tonight?

Then how the cowboys loved him
as they shouted out with glee
Randolph the redneck cowboy
You'll go down in history.

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

The Twelve Days of Christmas (Parody)
(Alan Sherman)

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
A Japanese transistor radio.

On the second day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
Green polka dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

(It's a Nakashuma.)

On the third day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.
(It's the Mark IV model. That's the one that's discontinued.)

On the fourth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
A simulated alligator wallet,
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

(And it comes in a Leatherette case with holes in it. So you could listen right
through the case.)

On the fifth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
A statue of a lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be,
A simulated alligator wallet,
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.
(And it has a wire with a thing on one end that you could stick in your ear, an
d a thing on the other end that you can't stick anywhere because it's bent.)

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
A hammered aluminum nutcracker,
And all that other stuff,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

[Continue until . . . ]

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
Although it may seem strange;
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
I'm going to exchange:
An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television but not w
hen you get it home,
A chromium combination manicure scissors and cigarette lighter,
A pair of teakwood shower clogs,
An indoor plastic birdbath,
A pink satin pillow that says ``San Diego'' with fringe all around it,
A hammered aluminum nutcracker,
A statue of a lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be,
A simulated alligator wallet,
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.

[Esther]

I used to have a tape from my sister called "Twisted Christmas" and had many of the songs twisted like some already posted.

[Esther]

You can still order it:

The really funny one I remember was "The Restroom door said Gentlemen". Something about finding the person who changed the signs.

Been years ago since I heard it.

[MrsBOOMM]

You can still order it:

The really funny one I remember was "The Restroom door said Gentlemen". Something about finding the person who changed the signs.

Been years ago since I heard it.

I found the words to that one and it is funny but there is a part of it that could be considered offensive so I didn't post it.

[rgcraig]

Mrs. Boom - these songs are great!

Thanks for taking time to post them. Someone might even want to use them at their Christmas parties!

[StillStanding]

12 Days of Christmas Correspondence
(clean version :D)
Dearest John:
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.

With dearest love and affection, Agnes

***

December 15th

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves.... I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

All my love, Agnes

***

December 16th

Dear John:

Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity. Three french hens. They are just darling but I must insist.... you're just too kind.

Love Agnes

***

December 17th

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really! They are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic.

Affectionately, Agnes

***

December 18th

Dearest John:

What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden rings. One for each finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, John, all those squawking birds were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love, Agnes

***

December 19th

Dear John:

When I opened the door there were actually six geese-a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. PLEASE STOP!

Cordially, Agnes

***

December 20th

John:

What's with you and those birds???? Seven swans-a-swimming. What kind of joke is this? There's bird do-do all over the house and they never stop the racket. I'm a nervous wreck and I can't sleep all night. IT'S NOT FUNNY.......So stop with those birds.

Sincerely, Agnes

***

December 21st

OK Buster:

I think I prefer the birds. What am I going to do with eight maids-a-milking? It's not enough with all those birds and eight maids-a-milking, but they had to bring their own cows. There is poop all over the lawn and I can't move into my own house. Just lay off me. .

Ag

***

December 22nd

Hey:

What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And do they play! They never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are upset and are stepping all over those screeching birds. No wonder they screech. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me. You'll get yours.

From Ag

***

December 23rd

You Creep!

Now there's ten ladies dancing - I don't know why I call them ladies. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of poop. The commissioner of buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned. I'm sicking the police on you.

One who means it, Ag

***

December 24th

Listen Idiot:

What's with the eleven lords a-leaping? All 234 of the birds are dead. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten swine.

Your sworn enemy, Miss Agnes McCallister

***

December 25th (From the law offices Taeker, Spedar, and Baegar)

Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling, which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McCallister. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McCallister at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

-Merry Christmas

[Elizabeth]

:heeheehee:heeheehee:heeheehee

[Margies3]

I love the 12 Days of Fastfood, Mrs.Boom!! That was one that absolutely had to be shared with our oldest son because he works at McDonald's :santathumb

[Esther]

I found the words to that one and it is funny but there is a part of it that could be considered offensive so I didn't post it.

You did?

How interesting. It has been years since I have heard it. You can play a sample of it, but not the whole thing on Amazon I believe is where I found it.

[HeavenlyOne]

You can still order it:

The really funny one I remember was "The Restroom door said Gentlemen". Something about finding the person who changed the signs.

Been years ago since I heard it.

'The restroom sign said 'Gentlemen' and so I went to find
The little creep who had the nerve to go and switch the sign...'

And when he got out he found...

'Two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse, what could be worse.....'

That's the only lines I remember, but that's an old song from about 20 years ago! LOL!

I'm gonna see if I can find the lyrics online now....LOL!

[HeavenlyOne]

Here we go.

Artist: Bob Rivers
Song: The restroom door said gentleman

The restroom door said gentleman so I just walked inside,
I took two steps and realized I've been taken for a ride.
I heard high voices, turned and found the place was occupied,
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.
What could be worse?
Than two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.

The restroom door said gentleman it must have been a gag,
As soon as I walked in there I ran into some old hag.
She sprayed me with a can of mase and smacked me with her bag,
I could tell, this wouldn't be my day.
What can I say?
It just wasn't turning out to be my day.

The restroom door said gentleman and I'd would like to find,
The crummy little CREEP who had the nerve to switch the signs.
'Cause I got two black eyes and one high heel up my behind,
Now I can't, sit with comfort and joy.
Boy oh boy.
Now I'll never sit with comfort and joy.

[Cookin-with-Stoneking]

To the tune of "little drummer boy":christmasjig

Get a job

you bum-bum-bum

Money dont grow on tress

you bum-bum-bum


To the Tune of "Come all Ye Faithful":bells

Come all ye illegal immigrants

Come and get those green cards

Learn some english and learn how to drive


To the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town":santaclaus

Better watch out

I think she's a guy

Im not quite sure

But something isnt right

Hillary Clinton is Coming to Town

[Esther]

Here we go.

Artist: Bob Rivers
Song: The restroom door said gentleman

The restroom door said gentleman so I just walked inside,
I took two steps and realized I've been taken for a ride.
I heard high voices, turned and found the place was occupied,
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.
What could be worse?
Than two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.

The restroom door said gentleman it must have been a gag,
As soon as I walked in there I ran into some old hag.
She sprayed me with a can of mase and smacked me with her bag,
I could tell, this wouldn't be my day.
What can I say?
It just wasn't turning out to be my day.

The restroom door said gentleman and I'd would like to find,
The crummy little CREEP who had the nerve to switch the signs.
'Cause I got two black eyes and one high heel up my behind,
Now I can't, sit with comfort and joy.
Boy oh boy.
Now I'll never sit with comfort and joy.


Yes, that is the one, to the tune of "God Rest you merry gentlemen" I think that is the title. :)

[MrsBOOMM]

Mrs. Boom - these songs are great!

Thanks for taking time to post them. Someone might even want to use them at their Christmas parties!

You are welcome. There are still some that I remember singing with my brother that were even funnier as I recall. Maybe I will email him and see if he still has them.
The different lyrics do take the boredom away of listening to the same ones over and over. Mr B is a Christmas song fanatic! But I like to listen to a variety and take a break from the Christmas thing and only do it a little at a time. Can't say too much cause he just called me to say he ordered me the new Legacy 5 Christmas CD I'd been wanting. Now, I know that doesn't excite most of you on here because it is Southern Gospel, but it did make MY day! Thanks, BOOMM!

[rgcraig]

You are welcome. There are still some that I remember singing with my brother that were even funnier as I recall. Maybe I will email him and see if he still has them.
The different lyrics do take the boredom away of listening to the same ones over and over. Mr B is a Christmas song fanatic! But I like to listen to a variety and take a break from the Christmas thing and only do it a little at a time. Can't say too much cause he just called me to say he ordered me the new legacy 5 Christmas CD I'd been wanting. Now, I know that doesn't excite most of you on here because it is Southern Gospel, but it did make MY day! Thanks, BOOMM!

Ah, that's sweet! Now he'll be 'pecting you to bake him a cake!

[Esther]

You are welcome. There are still some that I remember singing with my brother that were even funnier as I recall. Maybe I will email him and see if he still has them.
The different lyrics do take the boredom away of listening to the same ones over and over. Mr B is a Christmas song fanatic! But I like to listen to a variety and take a break from the Christmas thing and only do it a little at a time. Can't say too much cause he just called me to say he ordered me the new Legacy 5 Christmas CD I'd been wanting. Now, I know that doesn't excite most of you on here because it is Southern Gospel, but it did make MY day! Thanks, BOOMM!

I love Legacy Five and Greater Vision.

[MrsBOOMM]

I love Legacy Five and Greater Vision.

Yes, me too. I listened to some of Greater Vision while at my parents, I had not heard them much before but I really like them.

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

Here we go.

Artist: Bob Rivers
Song: The restroom door said gentleman

The restroom door said gentleman so I just walked inside,
I took two steps and realized I've been taken for a ride.
I heard high voices, turned and found the place was occupied,
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.
What could be worse?
Than two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.

The restroom door said gentleman it must have been a gag,
As soon as I walked in there I ran into some old hag.
She sprayed me with a can of mase and smacked me with her bag,
I could tell, this wouldn't be my day.
What can I say?
It just wasn't turning out to be my day.

The restroom door said gentleman and I'd would like to find,
The crummy little CREEP who had the nerve to switch the signs.
'Cause I got two black eyes and one high heel up my behind,
Now I can't, sit with comfort and joy.
Boy oh boy.
Now I'll never sit with comfort and joy.

Leave it to you and Thad if someone said it MAY offend to go on and post it anyway...

:smack

[RandyWayne]

Hey, who doesn't enjoy Mannheim Steamrollers Christmas CD's?

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

Hey, who doesn't enjoy Mannheim Steamrollers Christmas CD's?

MrsB said between MSO and TSO she is sick of Christmas Music already!

:bells

[HeavenlyOne]

Leave it to you and Thad if someone said it MAY offend to go on and post it anyway...

:smack

I haven't seen anyone say they were offended, have you?

;)

[John Atkinson]

Similarities Between Santa and Sysadmins


1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny.

2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are
infinitesimal.
3. Santa seldom answers your mail.
4. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he's got, he says, "Elves make it for me."
5. Santa doesn't care about your deadlines.
6. Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves.
7. Nobody knows who Santa has to answer to for his actions.
8. Santa laughs entirely too much.
9. Santa thinks nothing of breaking into your $HOME. 10. Only a lunatic says bad things about Santa in his presence.

[Scott Hutchinson]

Has anybody heard the version of Blue Christmas by Porky Pig ?

[Revelationist]

I used to have a tape from my sister called "Twisted Christmas" and had many of the songs twisted like some already posted.

That was a great tape.... I was going to bring it up, but you beat me to it... : )