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Rhoni
03-10-2008, 07:34 PM
I was thinking about Sis Barb's post about "Do-overs", and thought it might be freeing somewhat for many of us to confess to things we might like to do over or have turn out differently. You don't have to list your experiences or faults in detail but a bit of soul-searching might be good to 'normalize' all of us.

Just an idea.

Blessings, Rhoni

Cindy
03-10-2008, 08:57 PM
I would have really listened to my Dad and others that were trying to help me after my Mom died. I was a hard headed kid. If you can believe that.......:)

Rhoni
03-10-2008, 09:10 PM
Well Cindy,

You are not alone in that. I think I would have changed my goal about finishing Bible College and taken my bio-father up on a free education at Memphis State. Things would be so different in my life. Not sure if better, but different.

Kay B
03-10-2008, 09:13 PM
I would have probably gone to Ga instead of TX in May 2004. I would have been able to see my youngest brother befor he was murdered in June less than a month later.

OneAccord
03-10-2008, 09:54 PM
In the words of a famous man from days gone by.... Wow, I mean WOW. What a thought provoking thread. And, I might add, unsettling. A thread that, in my prediction, will go all too quickly into oblivion. Not that it isn't a good thread, It is... but like most good threads, it'll more than likely pass rapidly.

Actually, it is an exceptional thread that requires honesty and sould searching. That is uncomfortable, at least for me, because to look into past, and think of things I'd like to be able to "do-over".... well, thats unsettling.

I just finished re-finishing our kitchen cabinets.... a job I wanted to do for Lola for a long time... but... no time. Procrastinate. Put it off....

Wish I could move the calendar back a couple of years so she could see the finsihed work. She would have been proud.

I bought 700 square feet of hard wood flooring today. Been meaning to get rid of this old carpet and have nice new floors. Lolas always wanted hard wood flooring. Well, she'll have it soon... she just not here to see it. Am I crazy to do things she wanted, even though shes no longer here? Yeah, probably. About as crazy as going to the cemetary every Sunday morning to have a cup of coffee with her.

But, this is a Christian Forum so I guess I should say something Christian. Okay... if I could do it all over again...I would remain true to my calling as an Evangelist. I would still be preaching...I'd still be doing what God called me to do. Then maybe... just maybe I wouldn't have to be refinishing cabinets and putting down new flooring for a wife who is no longer here to enjoy them.

Fiyahstarter
03-10-2008, 10:32 PM
... if I could do it all over again...I would remain true to my calling as an Evangelist. I would still be preaching...I'd still be doing what God called me to do. Then maybe... just maybe I wouldn't have to be refinishing cabinets and putting down new flooring for a wife who is no longer here to enjoy them.


Perhaps the "break" in your evangelism was actually OF GOD so you could spend as much time as possible with your precious wife before her departure. I'm feeling your loss. I pray the Lord continue to heal the hurt from her passing.

My dear brother, You have a beautiful Spirit ... I am thankful for your ministry here on this forum ... I am a better person from having known you ... and I always LOOK for your posts! Thank you for caring.

YES, I feel sure you will evangelize again! I'll continue praying for you as the Lord leads you...

Feed my sheep.

LadyCoonskinner
03-10-2008, 10:33 PM
In the words of a famous man from days gone by.... Wow, I mean WOW. What a thought provoking thread. And, I might add, unsettling. A thread that, in my prediction, will go all too quickly into oblivion. Not that it isn't a good thread, It is... but like most good threads, it'll more than likely pass rapidly.

Actually, it is an exceptional thread that requires honesty and sould searching. That is uncomfortable, at least for me, because to look into past, and think of things I'd like to be able to "do-over".... well, thats unsettling.

I just finished re-finishing our kitchen cabinets.... a job I wanted to do for Lola for a long time... but... no time. Procrastinate. Put it off....

Wish I could move the calendar back a couple of years so she could see the finsihed work. She would have been proud.

I bought 700 square feet of hard wood flooring today. Been meaning to get rid of this old carpet and have nice new floors. Lolas always wanted hard wood flooring. Well, she'll have it soon... she just not here to see it. Am I crazy to do things she wanted, even though shes no longer here? Yeah, probably. About as crazy as going to the cemetary every Sunday morning to have a cup of coffee with her.

But, this is a Christian Forum so I guess I should say something Christian. Okay... if I could do it all over again...I would remain true to my calling as an Evangelist. I would still be preaching...I'd still be doing what God called me to do. Then maybe... just maybe I wouldn't have to be refinishing cabinets and putting down new flooring for a wife who is no longer here to enjoy them.


Bro. I can actually feel your grief in this post. I've been thinking about you and praying for you.

OneAccord
03-10-2008, 11:00 PM
Its funny...in an odd way. I feel guilty for not doing these things while she was here... that guilt makes me feel that I need to do them... then, I feel guilty for doing them because I didn't do them when I should have. I'm sorry...tonights just not a good night.

Praxeas
03-10-2008, 11:03 PM
I was thinking about Sis Barb's post about "Do-overs", and thought it might be freeing somewhat for many of us to confess to things we might like to do over or have turn out differently. You don't have to list your experiences or faults in detail but a bit of soul-searching might be good to 'normalize' all of us.

Just an idea.

Blessings, Rhoni
Great idea.....you go first :bliss

A_PoMo
03-10-2008, 11:21 PM
1. I would have gone to seminary straight out of Bible college instead of waiting 15 years.

2. I would have been nicer to people when I left the UPC. I probably would have left the UPC sooner.

3. I would have gone to the doctor sooner when I got sick and maybe the bronchial infection wouldn't have spread to my heart and progressed into congestive heart failure.

4. I would be nicer to my wife.

5. I would have spent more time with my friend Dave before he died of cancer.

6. I would have spent more time with my friend Dave's son when he needed a man in his life before his mom re-married.

7. I would have talked to my Dad more honestly about my feelings toward him and our theological differences sooner rather than later because now that we have it's amazing how much we have in common and we're closer now. Lots of lost years though.

8. I would have been there for my friend Maurice when his baby was in the hospital.

9. I would have read the Bible more.

10. I would have allowed myself to think and not be afraid to ask honest questions.

Rhoni
03-11-2008, 05:49 AM
In the words of a famous man from days gone by.... Wow, I mean WOW. What a thought provoking thread. And, I might add, unsettling. A thread that, in my prediction, will go all too quickly into oblivion. Not that it isn't a good thread, It is... but like most good threads, it'll more than likely pass rapidly.

Actually, it is an exceptional thread that requires honesty and sould searching. That is uncomfortable, at least for me, because to look into past, and think of things I'd like to be able to "do-over".... well, thats unsettling.

I just finished re-finishing our kitchen cabinets.... a job I wanted to do for Lola for a long time... but... no time. Procrastinate. Put it off....

Wish I could move the calendar back a couple of years so she could see the finsihed work. She would have been proud.

I bought 700 square feet of hard wood flooring today. Been meaning to get rid of this old carpet and have nice new floors. Lolas always wanted hard wood flooring. Well, she'll have it soon... she just not here to see it. Am I crazy to do things she wanted, even though shes no longer here? Yeah, probably. About as crazy as going to the cemetary every Sunday morning to have a cup of coffee with her.

But, this is a Christian Forum so I guess I should say something Christian. Okay... if I could do it all over again...I would remain true to my calling as an Evangelist. I would still be preaching...I'd still be doing what God called me to do. Then maybe... just maybe I wouldn't have to be refinishing cabinets and putting down new flooring for a wife who is no longer here to enjoy them.

One Accord,

Your post here reminds me of the book, For One More Day, written by Mitch Albom. I too feel your grief but I feel it in a positive light. May I remind you, putting your wife and family comes first...and you did that. The WORKS of an Evangelist come secondary to being a good husband and father. You did exactly as God willed it.

Things happen for a reason, and though your head knows this...it is time to realize it with your heart. Your wife was sent to you for a purpose. You have learned to love, to hold on to, and now to let go. Your ministry can only be enhanced by what you have expierenced. You will have a heart of compassion that you have never had before.

I am still praying for you and I know that God will be a comfort just as he has promised. He has been there with you through this whole process and he is the one who gave you strength. Don't stop trusting him.

The catch-up things you do now with your wife in your heart are only 'things'. She knew you loved her and you were there when she needed you. Those are things that can't be taken away.

BTW, I would have been more careful in my past marriage to keep my promises and love like I meant to. I can't go back and will always have a hurt in my heart for what I would've, could've, and should've, but in the future someone else will reap the benfits of what I have learned.

Blessings & Prayers,
Rhoni

smurfette
03-11-2008, 06:21 AM
One Accord,

Your post here reminds me of the book, For One More Day, written by Mitch Albom. I too feel your grief but I feel it in a positive light. May I remind you, putting your wife and family comes first...and you did that. The WORKS of an Evangelist come secondary to being a good husband and father. You did exactly as God willed it.

Things happen for a reason, and though your head knows this...it is time to realize it with your heart. Your wife was sent to you for a purpose. You have learned to love, to hold on to, and now to let go. Your ministry can only be enhanced by what you have expierenced. You will have a heart of compassion that you have never had before.

I am still praying for you and I know that God will be a comfort just as he has promised. He has been there with you through this whole process and he is the one who gave you strength. Don't stop trusting him.

The catch-up things you do now with your wife in your heart are only 'things'. She knew you loved her and you were there when she needed you. Those are things that can't be taken away.

BTW, I would have been more careful in my past marriage to keep my promises and love like I meant to. I can't go back and will always have a hurt in my heart for what I would've, could've, and should've, but in the future someone else will reap the benfits of what I have learned.

Blessings & Prayers,
Rhoni

Very well said Rhoni. I was thinking the same thing. I don't write alot, but I do read. One Accord, I cry when I read about your beautiful wife. I think she would have much rather spent the time with you than have the perfect home. I think she's watching from heaven and smiling.

Digging4Truth
03-11-2008, 06:45 AM
I started a thread similar to this several years ago but, alas, both forums I started the thread on have lost the databases for those days.

I would have to say that my list would still be very similar to the one I made back then. Thankfully I am now in a part of my life where I am building on the "Things I am glad I did" list although there is no part of our lives where we are completely free of activity that, given hindsight, we wouldn't have changed. But, isn't that the learning process?

Before I make my list I would like to pass on a little story, joke, whatever it is that has spoken to me many times.

A young man was talking to an elderly gentleman and he said "You are so wise... it seems like you never make mistakes. How does one get to be wise like you?" To which the elderly gentleman replied "Well son, you get wisdom through experience"

The young man looked at him a moment and asked "Where do you get experience from?"

The old man smiled and wisely replied "Through mistakes"

One does not come without the other. If those things you look back on in life have given you more wisdom then they serve you well and have become part of the wiser person that stands today.

Pressing-On
03-11-2008, 06:49 AM
I started a thread similar to this several years ago but, alas, both forums I started the thread on have lost the databases for those days.

I would have to say that my list would still be very similar to the one I made back then. Thankfully I am now in a part of my life where I am building on the "Things I am glad I did" list although there is no part of our lives where we are completely free of activity that, given hindsight, we wouldn't have changed. But, isn't that the learning process?

Before I make my list I would like to pass on a little story, joke, whatever it is that has spoken to me many times.

A young man was talking to an elderly gentleman and he said "You are so wise... it seems like you never make mistakes. How does one get to be wise like you?" To which the elderly gentleman replied "Well son, you get wisdom through experience"

The young man looked at him a moment and asked "Where do you get experience from?"

The old man smiled and wisely replied "Through mistakes"

One does not come without the other. If those things you look back on in life have given you more wisdom then they serve you well and have become part of the wiser person that stands today.
Excellent post, Digging! This is the answer!

I have no regrets! When I make a mistake, I only make it once! Some of them just lasted a littler longer than others. :ursofunny

scotty
03-11-2008, 07:03 AM
You bet, lots of things I would change. Not sure I would be better off.

I figure God planned on me being where I am for a reason.

(now, as soon as I figure out where I am, then I will work on the reason)

Digging4Truth
03-11-2008, 07:07 AM
1. I am, generally, not an impulsive individual. I tend to think things out (probably too much). But when I met my wife I asked her to marry me after having known her for 2 weeks. Sometimes you just know. But we waited a year before getting married because "you're supposed to". Sometimes you should just follow your heart. I could have had one more year of marriage to this wonderful lady if I weren't so worried about what others thought.

2. I used to be a yes man. I was the guy you wanted in your church. As a matter of fact I was the guy that you told "It's God's will for you to come with us" when you left a church and I was "yes man" enough to pack my family up and follow suit. I did it all and at the same time. I was youth pastor, choir director, praise team leader, sunday school teacher and I covered for the pastor when he was out of town. On top of that anything else that needed doing I did it. WOW... what a great guy. And then I look around and my kids are entering their teens and I don't have time for them. I am at a point in my life where we are slowing down and taking time to spend with our kids. I am talking to my kids about God, the Bible, how it affects us and the way we treat others. I am seeing how big my daughters Tamagotchi has grown. I am taking my kids to breakfast on Saturday mornings one at a time and spending some time listening to their interests. My Christianity is becoming something I live every moment of every day and less something I have to leave my family to do. I would have made these changes much earlier could I have seen more clearly at an earlier date.

3. What a wonderful journey this has been where I have begun to form a relationship with God rather than with church & men. Church & men are still a part of it, of course, but I used to gain my feeling of "being saved" by many other things rather than the true relationship I have with God. I am finding that of the many attributes of God I had missed one that he showed us earlier on in the Bible. He tends to like to walk with us in the cool of the evening. God is running to and fro. He isn't living a frantic life. He is spending time, taking time, enjoying the beauty thing that is life... and that more abundantly.

I tried and tried to say "I wish I had done it sooner" on #2 & #3 but I just can't. I do...I really do. But I also realize that it took the journey for me to see the wisdom. It also takes the costs to understand the value.

Suffice it to say there are still many things I want to change (my weight being foremost... now that I have slowed to enjoy life and family I need to be around to see it) but I can honestly say that the song rings so true...

More than ever before - Lord, I love You
More than ever before - Lord, I need You
More than ever before - I've got to tell You
I love You now more ever before.

And that, my friends, I would not change.

bethola
03-11-2008, 07:14 AM
Good thread....DIFFICULT thread! I think I would:

1....have spent more time with my kids and less time working (should have practiced "being content in all things.")

2....have spent more time in prayer and The Word and less "being busy for Jesus" (notice I LOVE serving the church....but, sometimes...well you all probably know this)

3....have loved more and criticized less.

4...have learned to meet people where they are...like God does.

But, we can't go back and we must accept the consequences of our choices. Thankfully, God has a way of helping us!!

Beth

Digging4Truth
03-11-2008, 07:23 AM
Good thread....DIFFICULT thread! I think I would:

1....have spent more time with my kids and less time working (should have practiced "being content in all things.")

2....have spent more time in prayer and The Word and less "being busy for Jesus" (notice I LOVE serving the church....but, sometimes...well you all probably know this)

3....have loved more and criticized less.

4...have learned to meet people where they are...like God does.

But, we can't go back and we must accept the consequences of our choices. Thankfully, God has a way of helping us!!

Beth

So true... we can't go back but it never dawned on me until I read your list and your comments.

Everything we list is a success.

If we had not learned better then we wouldn't be listing it as something we would change if we could.

So each item everyone has listed is something to be excited about. It is growth that life has given us and a sign that we are moving in the right direction.

DividedThigh
03-11-2008, 08:10 AM
well for sure the one thing i would do over if i could which would radically have changed my life , i would take the scholarship to ole miss and to the law school, i am sure that would have changed my life completely, no regrets though in the area of my kids, love them always, they are great, dt

Pressing-On
03-11-2008, 08:12 AM
well for sure the one thing i would do over if i could which would radically have changed my life , i would take the scholarship to ole miss and to the law school, i am sure that would have changed my life completely, no regrets though in the area of my kids, love them always, they are great, dt

Digging,
I was working with a law firm when I was 21. They offered to pay my way through law school. I turned them down. I can't say that I regret that.

ManOfWord
03-11-2008, 08:21 AM
It's probably just part of my personality make up, but in all honesty, I can't look back on my life with regret and really conclude that there are things that I wish I would have done differently. Not that I haven't made mistakes (I've made plenty) but even in those, I can't say that I have a lot of regrets. I have 3 wonderful sons, a beautiful wife, pastor a great group of people, I've traveled to many places in the world to minister, I am still quite healthy and on the go at almost 54, I am still accomplishing new things, I haven't lost vision, I still have the "fire in the belly".......I guess I could go on.

I'm not boasting or posting in pride...but I am extremely thankful and blessed!!!

Oh, and did I mention that I am posting from sunny Florida? (now, in that I AM boasting:D)


If there is one thing though, that I regret, it is ultra-hard/ultra-con way I treated people while in the UPC. I take 100% responsibility for that. But I do know that it was hurtful, damaging and certainly NOT of God. It was a form of godliness. It was fleshly. It was destructive, It was prideful.

But I am also thankful that I am no longer in that frame of reference and mind!! :D

rgcraig
03-11-2008, 08:24 AM
I hated to be the first to post that, but I'm not sure I've got any regrets either. Everything that has happened in my life was for a purpose for the next thing that was going to happen.

I do wish I'd read more to my kids when they were younger.

Pressing-On
03-11-2008, 08:35 AM
I hated to be the first to post that, but I'm not sure I've got any regrets either. Everything that has happened in my life was for a purpose for the next thing that was going to happen.

Amen! I agree! I have no regrets. Even the mistakes I've made have taught me so much. The mistakes I've made as a Christian have taught me the love and mercy of God. I can't say I regret that!

chosenbyone
03-11-2008, 08:53 AM
I wish I could say that I have no regrets! I struggled this morning trying to come up with a short list, but I soon gave up. So, I decided that instead of dwelling on the many regrets I have, I would rather focus on what God did for me throughout the years.

He was a healer when my body was racked with pain; a father when I needed one; a comforter when I was all alone; a friend when I didn't have one.

I am thankful to God that he walked with me through each valley, wrong decision, failure and heartache. He showed me mercy when it was needed the most.

MissBrattified
03-11-2008, 08:54 AM
Transparency...on the internet? :rolleyes: I'll save transparency for God and my mother. :D They both love me no matter what.

As for regrets--I have them--but if given the chance, I don't think I'd change very many things. I wouldn't know what I know if I hadn't been there, done that, and bought several t-shirts.

MrsMcD
03-11-2008, 08:55 AM
I wish as a teenager that I had trusted God! My life would be so much easier now. Oh well... By gones!

Michael Phelps
03-11-2008, 09:07 AM
Excellent post, Digging! This is the answer!

I have no regrets! When I make a mistake, I only make it once! Some of them just lasted a littler longer than others. :ursofunny

Exactly, PO.

When I look at some of the moves I've made, the decisions I've acted upon, I may regret them individually, however, all of them together have brought me to where I am - and I am incredibly happy at this point in my life!

Just as Joseph's ups and downs worked together to bring him to the throne, all of the "goods and bads" in my life have worked together to bring me to a place of great peace.

If I had skipped any of the steps, even the bad ones, I may not be where I am today.

Digging4Truth
03-11-2008, 09:13 AM
Transparency...on the internet? :rolleyes: I'll save transparency for God and my mother. :D They both love me no matter what.

God & mother...

Both require that you have no other gods before them. :)

Pressing-On
03-11-2008, 09:21 AM
Exactly, PO.

When I look at some of the moves I've made, the decisions I've acted upon, I may regret them individually, however, all of them together have brought me to where I am - and I am incredibly happy at this point in my life!

Just as Joseph's ups and downs worked together to bring him to the throne, all of the "goods and bads" in my life have worked together to bring me to a place of great peace.

If I had skipped any of the steps, even the bad ones, I may not be where I am today.

Amen!

Pressing-On
03-11-2008, 09:22 AM
Transparency...on the internet? :rolleyes: I'll save transparency for God and my mother. :D They both love me no matter what.

Amen and Amen, Abigail!!!!

MissBrattified
03-11-2008, 09:31 AM
God & mother...

Both require that you have no other gods before them. :)

Haha, so true!

LadyChocolate
03-11-2008, 10:25 AM
I have to also say that I have no regrets..... I mean, everything choice I have made has helped me. Even the wrong choices I have made, they have helped me also.

I am one who does dwell on what could have been. I don't think about going back and changing things because if I had it to do all over again, I would have done the same thing.... Now if I could back with all the wisdom I have gained, then maybe things would change. But then again, I have wisdom because of the life I lived in the past....

I can't change yesterday, and I am one who does not live well with the past hanging over me... I could let all the "what if's" in, but I would become a bitter person..... I would rather have joy and think about today.... I can use the past to make today a better life....And if I do that, then soon, my better days will far out weigh the bad....(they already do)...

A_PoMo
03-11-2008, 10:39 AM
I find transparency (no matter where I see it) to be incredibly inspiring.

Digging4Truth
03-11-2008, 10:41 AM
I find transparency (no matter where I see it) to be incredibly inspiring.

Amen...

So many try to "minister" to the world by appearing flawless and near perfect when nothing speaks to a world trying to find their way than seeing a real, imperfect person making a real effort to take on the nature of a perfect God.

A_PoMo
03-11-2008, 11:02 AM
Yeah, I'm not inspired by someone who isn't honest. That's why I try to be honest about myself even though I think people at times think it's self-aggrandizement and cries for attention. "Hey look at me! I'm important!". Yeah, I'm insecure like that too but I mainly figure that I can't ask other people to be honest if I'm not honest and open and its hard for us to grow and have community if we all walk around holding up our masks and maintaining our image. It's amazing the opportunities you get to minister to people and to be ministered to when you're honest and straightforward. It cuts through the garbage.

I like what you said about imperfect people making a real effort to take on the nature of a perfect God. That's quotable. Good stuff.

RevDWW
03-11-2008, 11:14 AM
I would have spent more time with my Dad. Since that is no longer a possibility I'll make it easier for my son to spend time with me.

Like Paul. the best I can do is to leave those things which are past and continue to press toward the mark. Every regret should make us a better person for trying to fulfil that regret in some way today.

If you didn't love someone enough, start showing love toward someone today.
If you were to busy to be a good friend, stop what your doing and be a good friend to someone today.
If you haven't read your bible enough go read it now.
If you haven't prayed enough go pray for a little while.
If you haven't been joyful enough, break out in song.
If you haven't been thankful enough, show genuine gratitude today.
If you haven't received enough, go give something to someone today.
If you haven't been happy, go make someone happy today.

This list is not any where near complete,but I hope you get the gist of it.

MrsMcD
03-11-2008, 11:15 AM
Yeah, I'm not inspired by someone who isn't honest. That's why I try to be honest about myself even though I think people at times think it's self-aggrandizement and cries for attention. "Hey look at me! I'm important!". Yeah, I'm insecure like that too but I mainly figure that I can't ask other people to be honest if I'm not honest and open and its hard for us to grow and have community if we all walk around holding up our masks and maintaining our image. It's amazing the opportunities you to minister to people and to be ministered to when you're honest and straightforward.
I like what you said about imperfect people making a real effort to take on the nature of a perfect God. That's quotable. Good stuff.

:scoregood:scoregood:scoregood

Ferd
03-11-2008, 11:20 AM
in the third grade I told a kid named Jessie James __________ that my daddy arrested his daddy.

still wish I could take that one back.

DividedThigh
03-11-2008, 11:22 AM
in the third grade I told a kid named Jessie James __________ that my daddy arrested his daddy.

still wish I could take that one back.

well did he look like an outlaw ferd, that is the question, lol,dt

Pressing-On
03-11-2008, 11:25 AM
in the third grade I told a kid named Jessie James __________ that my daddy arrested his daddy.

still wish I could take that one back.

I told a girl, in first grade, that we had a train in our back yard just like the one at the Zoo in San Antonio. I never regretted that because when I ran into her after we graduated she said she had believed that story all that time!!! :ursofunny

I only told her the story because I knew my mother wouldn't let her come over to our house. I can't remember why. It may have been because there were so many of us and she always had piano students coming over. :ursofunny

Blubayou
03-11-2008, 01:54 PM
Regrets, I have a few...... (from the song " I Did it My Way") I just couldn't resist! Yes, I do have a few regrets, but like several people on the forum- I hope I have used my mistakes to grow and become a better person.
If I could go back and redo I would...
Go to college in another state and settle in another state.
Be more focused on others and not so self absorbed.
I would be more adventuresome in life.

Sister Alvear
03-11-2008, 02:21 PM
The Lord hates false ways...May we ever be pure and true.

dizzyde
03-11-2008, 02:52 PM
Exactly, PO.

When I look at some of the moves I've made, the decisions I've acted upon, I may regret them individually, however, all of them together have brought me to where I am - and I am incredibly happy at this point in my life!

Just as Joseph's ups and downs worked together to bring him to the throne, all of the "goods and bads" in my life have worked together to bring me to a place of great peace.

If I had skipped any of the steps, even the bad ones, I may not be where I am today.

This is so completely true. I look back on some of the events of my life, and they are big, black, painful holes. But if not for those things, I wouldn't have learned the things about myself that I needed to know.

I could have spent my life in a bubble, fairytale world, but I would have never truly known myself and my God. So, I cannot say that I would change anything. Maybe sometimes when I feel like I was less kind than I could have been. But overall, no.

Rhoni
03-11-2008, 06:40 PM
The truth is, if we had it to do over we would do the same thing and make the same mistakes. I wouldn't trade one moment of what I have went through for anything the world has to offer.

Better is one day in your courts,
Better is one day in your house,
Better is one day in your courts...
Than thousands elsewhere.

Rhoni
03-11-2008, 08:12 PM
Just FYI...I only have a couple things I would do differently in hindsight and they deal more with being true to my own personal integrity and convictions. There have been a couple times that I violated my own personal value system and have had difficulty with self-forgiveness even though God forgave me the first time I asked him.

Blessings, Rhoni

DanielR
03-11-2008, 08:41 PM
Sometime ago I thought about the life that I had lived up until this point and came to the conclusion that I truely only have 1 regret. There are however many things that I would do better a second time around simply because I know better whats going on this time. But that really doesn't matter, it's all water under the bridge. What is important is; Did we learn from our mistakes or short comings? Are we going to do better the next time a simular situation presents itself? Will we actually do differently in those areas that we have true regrets when those circumstances presents itself again?

I would like to say that if I was able to go back that I would study my Bible more, Pray more, get on fire for Jesus at a much earlier age. But, Honestly even if I had it to do over again, I'd still have lived my life the same as I did. I did and continue to do things according to how my personality is, that is one thing that I wouldn't want to change because God is working with my personality to accomplish what it is that he has me doing, and for that I can only give Him praise.

Daniel

Monkeyman
03-11-2008, 09:04 PM
James Cleveland said it best....

I've had my share of life's ups and downs
God's been good to me, and the downs have been few
I would guess you can say, God has blessed me
But there's never been a time in my life, he didn't bring me through.

If anyone should ever write, my life story.
For whatever reason there might be.
You'd be there, between each line of pain and glory.

Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me.

If anyone should ever write, my life story.
For whatever reason there might be.
One day, I was lost but Jesus found me.

Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me.

If anyone should ever write, my life story.
For whatever reason there might be.
I was on my way to hell, but Jesus lifted me.

Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Rhoni
03-11-2008, 09:04 PM
Sometime ago I thought about the life that I had lived up until this point and came to the conclusion that I truely only have 1 regret. There are however many things that I would do better a second time around simply because I know better whats going on this time. But that really doesn't matter, it's all water under the bridge. What is important is; Did we learn from our mistakes or short comings? Are we going to do better the next time a simular situation presents itself? Will we actually do differently in those areas that we have true regrets when those circumstances presents itself again?

I would like to say that if I was able to go back that I would study my Bible more, Pray more, get on fire for Jesus at a much earlier age. But, Honestly even if I had it to do over again, I'd still have lived my life the same as I did. I did and continue to do things according to how my personality is, that is one thing that I wouldn't want to change because God is working with my personality to accomplish what it is that he has me doing, and for that I can only give Him praise.

Daniel

Daniel,

Isn't itwonderful how God creates us all with unique personalities and gifts? He loves diversity and he uses diversity to get his will accomplished. God made no mistakes when he made each one of us. He has a plan for all.

I'd like to think I have learned from my mistakes, but regardless...God in his foreknowledge saw each one of us, how we would react, and the prices we had to pay. He uses those things to perfect us.

Don't you just love Jesus?

Blessings, Rhoni

Monkeyman
03-11-2008, 09:05 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nz3gc55-mJQ

Rhoni
03-11-2008, 09:06 PM
James Cleveland said it best....

I've had my share of life's ups and downs
God's been good to me, and the downs have been few
I would guess you can say, God has blessed me
But there's never been a time in my life, he didn't bring me through.

If anyone should ever write, my life story.
For whatever reason there might be.
You'd be there, between each line of pain and glory.

Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me.

If anyone should ever write, my life story.
For whatever reason there might be.
One day, I was lost but Jesus found me.

Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me.

If anyone should ever write, my life story.
For whatever reason there might be.
I was on my way to hell, but Jesus lifted me.

Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Dave Peterson used to sing that song. Brings back precious memories. Thank-you :)

A_PoMo
03-11-2008, 09:11 PM
Dave Peterson. That's a blast from the past. I remember him singing in church when I was a kid back in the 70'. We went to the same church in Indy.

commonsense
03-11-2008, 11:15 PM
It's too late for clear thinking. First of all I have enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts and insights.
I've made mistakes but usually pick myself up and go on.
My only regret as such is in regard to some poor parenting tactics. I was a very harsh taskmaster and expected unreasonable behavior/perfection. :reaction My oldest is still paying the price for my errors...(she sees her therapist regularly).

Sometimes I think I should have gone on to a secular college after ABI.

We hopefully learn from our mistakes and become better and wiser. Without the past we wouldn't be who we are now.

Rhoni
03-12-2008, 04:47 AM
It's too late for clear thinking. First of all I have enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts and insights.
I've made mistakes but usually pick myself up and go on.
My only regret as such is in regard to some poor parenting tactics. I was a very harsh taskmaster and expected unreasonable behavior/perfection. :reaction My oldest is still paying the price for my errors...(she sees her therapist regularly).

Sometimes I think I should have gone on to a secular college after ABI.

We hopefully learn from our mistakes and become better and wiser. Without the past we wouldn't be who we are now.

Yes, There are a lot of adults in therapy over the past, but it isn't all about parental mistakes, but a combination of things. We don't get a trial run at being a parent. Kids live a lifetime to prove they can do it better than their parents only to find the mistakes they made to be carbon copies of those they tried to avoid.

I said all that to say...don't be so hard on yourself. All you can do is as you were taught/exampled.

Blessings, Rhoni

Pressing-On
03-12-2008, 05:39 AM
James Cleveland said it best....

I've had my share of life's ups and downs
God's been good to me, and the downs have been few
I would guess you can say, God has blessed me
But there's never been a time in my life, he didn't bring me through.

If anyone should ever write, my life story.
For whatever reason there might be.
You'd be there, between each line of pain and glory.

Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me.

If anyone should ever write, my life story.
For whatever reason there might be.
One day, I was lost but Jesus found me.

Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me.

If anyone should ever write, my life story.
For whatever reason there might be.
I was on my way to hell, but Jesus lifted me.

Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened...
Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me.

:highfive

Pressing-On
03-12-2008, 05:46 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nz3gc55-mJQ

Loved it, Monkeyman!!!!

RevDWW
03-12-2008, 06:32 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nz3gc55-mJQ

Love JC rendition of this song. I used to listen to him a lot as a teen.

Rhoni
09-01-2008, 06:25 AM
Great idea.....you go first :bliss

One Accord,

Your post here reminds me of the book, For One More Day, written by Mitch Albom. I too feel your grief but I feel it in a positive light. May I remind you, putting your wife and family comes first...and you did that. The WORKS of an Evangelist come secondary to being a good husband and father. You did exactly as God willed it.

Things happen for a reason, and though your head knows this...it is time to realize it with your heart. Your wife was sent to you for a purpose. You have learned to love, to hold on to, and now to let go. Your ministry can only be enhanced by what you have expierenced. You will have a heart of compassion that you have never had before.

I am still praying for you and I know that God will be a comfort just as he has promised. He has been there with you through this whole process and he is the one who gave you strength. Don't stop trusting him.

The catch-up things you do now with your wife in your heart are only 'things'. She knew you loved her and you were there when she needed you. Those are things that can't be taken away.

BTW, I would have been more careful in my past marriage to keep my promises and love like I meant to. I can't go back and will always have a hurt in my heart for what I would've, could've, and should've, but in the future someone else will reap the benfits of what I have learned.

Blessings & Prayers,
Rhoni

I have to also say that I have no regrets..... I mean, everything choice I have made has helped me. Even the wrong choices I have made, they have helped me also.

I am one who does dwell on what could have been. I don't think about going back and changing things because if I had it to do all over again, I would have done the same thing.... Now if I could back with all the wisdom I have gained, then maybe things would change. But then again, I have wisdom because of the life I lived in the past....

I can't change yesterday, and I am one who does not live well with the past hanging over me... I could let all the "what if's" in, but I would become a bitter person..... I would rather have joy and think about today.... I can use the past to make today a better life....And if I do that, then soon, my better days will far out weigh the bad....(they already do)...

I find transparency (no matter where I see it) to be incredibly inspiring.

Just FYI...I only have a couple things I would do differently in hindsight and they deal more with being true to my own personal integrity and convictions. There have been a couple times that I violated my own personal value system and have had difficulty with self-forgiveness even though God forgave me the first time I asked him.

Blessings, Rhoni

The truth is, if we had it to do over we would do the same thing and make the same mistakes. I wouldn't trade one moment of what I have went through for anything the world has to offer.

Better is one day in your courts,
Better is one day in your house,
Better is one day in your courts...
Than thousands elsewhere.

Daniel,

Isn't itwonderful how God creates us all with unique personalities and gifts? He loves diversity and he uses diversity to get his will accomplished. God made no mistakes when he made each one of us. He has a plan for all.

I'd like to think I have learned from my mistakes, but regardless...God in his foreknowledge saw each one of us, how we would react, and the prices we had to pay. He uses those things to perfect us.

Don't you just love Jesus?

Blessings, Rhoni

Yes, There are a lot of adults in therapy over the past, but it isn't all about parental mistakes, but a combination of things. We don't get a trial run at being a parent. Kids live a lifetime to prove they can do it better than their parents only to find the mistakes they made to be carbon copies of those they tried to avoid.

I said all that to say...don't be so hard on yourself. All you can do is as you were taught/exampled.

Blessings, Rhoni

With all the talk on parenting and doing things different I thought I might bring this thread back up because it is truly inspiring. I hope Sis. Foreverblessed will post her story with her daughter on here because it fits.

Thinking back to the short past...I would have done something different...I would have stayed in Florida 2 years ago. I left hurt, angry, and disappointed in quite a few people, along with myself.

Florida has always been my "Happy Place". and when things didn't go as I expected or thought they should it affected my happiness. I have learned and invaluable lesson though...better to stay and trudge through things than to pick up and run. While running would seem to be the easiest decision it costs you the greatest price.

Blessings, Rhoni