Children of Lost Parents and Standards?

[Scott Hutchinson]

Suppose you are a Pastor and you have set standards for your church.
Now you have children coming to your church whose parents are lost.
Suppose these children want to sing in the youth choir or participate in Sunday School outings and events.
Do you demand that children from these enviroments comply with the church standards before they can participate in church activities?

[Rhoni]

I'd say that most conservative churches are rigid about the letter of the law and would demand compliance to participate. We have lost many an individual and families over similar issues.
IMHO.

Blessings, Rhoni

[Scott Hutchinson]

Sister Rhoni what about a situation where a DAD or MOM is in church but the other spouse isn't.A woman might have probelms making her children comply if her husband is lost and undermines her.

[Rhoni]

Sister Rhoni what about a situation where a DAD or MOM is in church but the other spouse isn't.A woman might have probelms making her children comply if her husband is lost and undermines her.

I agree this is a possibility but very few of our conservative churches would grant such grace so as not to be accused of favoritism. This is why I love a balanced church who trusts the leadings of the spirit in individuals lifes to make changes necessary in modest dress.

Blessings, Rhoni

[MrsMcD]

I don't know what my new pastor would do but in the past, everyone had to comply.

We had a youth six-flags outing and my former pastor made the girls that were visiting wear skirts to six flags. The visiting boys had to wear pants.

[Neck]

Suppose you are a Pastor and you have set standards for your church.
Now you have children coming to your church whose parents and lost.
Suppose these children want to sing in the youth choir or participate in Sunday School outings and events.
Do you demand that children from these enviroments comply with the church standards before they can participate in church activities?


That is the problem. They burn these souls out by not have no flexability.

[Whole Hearted]

Suppose you are a Pastor and you have set standards for your church.
Now you have children coming to your church whose parents and lost.
Suppose these children want to sing in the youth choir or participate in Sunday School outings and events.
Do you demand that children from these enviroments comply with the church standards before they can participate in church activities?

They could participate in Sunday School outing and such, but must abide by the standards to be on the platform.

[myhaloisintheshop]

what age are we talking about--teens?

At my church you have to abide by standards to praise sing. But in the children/youth choir we let the kids that don't have parents in church wear whatever.

i say let the participate! What is it going to hurt to let them sing or participate in outings?

[Fonix]

I am not sure any of us would know exactly what we were going to do until we were faced with those same circumstances.

I think alot of it would depend on the childs age. The other children who are complying might have a hard time understanding.

We once had a lady who attended our church. Knew the standards that the church held yet would allow her daughter to come to picnic functions in shorts or pants.

To me that is disrespectful because she herself knows what is taught and what the people believe. Kids have a hard time understanding it because they considered themselves as a member and yet they werent following what they heard taught

Big difference when you dont know what is taught and you do it or you know what is taughtand you just dont care and are gonna do what you want anyway

[myhaloisintheshop]

I have to disagree. I have 4 kids and at our church (which is a conservative UPC church I might add) we have probably 20+ kids that come and the girls wear pants and most of the boys wear shorts in the summer.

My boys understand that those kids parents don't come to church so they don't have a choice about their clothing. They understand more than you think!

[Brother Price]

They could participate in Sunday School outing and such, but must abide by the standards to be on the platform.

Amen and well spoken.

[myhaloisintheshop]

I guess I don't understand why that would be forced on a CHILD. There are some girls that don't own a skirt believe it or not! They aren't preaching....lol They are participating in a church activity! If you don't let them participate they will find a place that will!

[Rhoni]

I guess I don't understand why that would be forced on a CHILD. There are some girls that don't own a skirt believe it or not! They aren't preaching....lol They are participating in a church activity! If you don't let them participate they will find a place that will!

I agree.

[MrsMcD]

I guess I don't understand why that would be forced on a CHILD. There are some girls that don't own a skirt believe it or not! They aren't preaching....lol They are participating in a church activity! If you don't let them participate they will find a place that will!

Exactly!!!

[Whole Hearted]

They could participate in Sunday School outing and such, but must abide by the standards to be on the platform.

I want to add that I'm not talking abut little Sunday school kids. The Sunday school may do a little song or something and that's fine, but to be on the platform as singer, choir, and so on they must comply.

[Fonix]

I want to add that I'm not talking abut little Sunday school kids. The Sunday school may do a little song or something and that's fine, but to be on the platform as singer, choir, and so on they must comply.


WH. Thats what I understood you to be talking about

[HeavenlyOne]

Suppose you are a Pastor and you have set standards for your church.
Now you have children coming to your church whose parents are lost.
Suppose these children want to sing in the youth choir or participate in Sunday School outings and events.
Do you demand that children from these enviroments comply with the church standards before they can participate in church activities?

My pastor allowed the teens and younger children to wear whatever when participating in church. His logic is that it's better for them to come than not to come because he wants them to wear certain items.

The only problem I have with this is, when will what they are wearing become a problem? Last Wednesday, the girl doing the testimony service was wearing jeans with holes in the knees and a T-shirt with her friends' writing on it. She's 13. Her mom has been in church for about 4 years now and lives the standards, but her three girls, ages 14, 13, and 7 refuse to wear skirts, especially the older two.

I don't care if they wear pants or whatever, but ripped and torn jeans and nasty looking T-shirts? This isn't a child here, but a teenager. I don't see a problem with asking them to wear something a little more presentable for church, honestly.

But the real problem is that what they are wearing today is ok, but when they are 15, it won't be acceptable. See what I mean? It's a problem when you preach standards for the adults and let the kids wear whatever they want.

[HeavenlyOne]

I guess I don't understand why that would be forced on a CHILD. There are some girls that don't own a skirt believe it or not! They aren't preaching....lol They are participating in a church activity! If you don't let them participate they will find a place that will!

On the flip side of my previous post, I agree with this. There are lots of churches that will let them be used in service no matter what they have on. Clothing really doesn't mean anything to a child. They put clothes on and that's all that matters....not what they look like in them.

My church has the children 11 and younger at the front of the church every Sunday morning to sing "I am a Friend of God" and it's great! I love it! It's the highlight of my Sunday morning. And nobody cares what those kids have on either! There are a couple who wear skirts and hold them up while singing...hahaha. There's something to be said about little girls wearing pants!

[Scott Hutchinson]

This is a true story and this sadly happened, there was a child in a beginners SS class whose parents were not saved.The child came to the SS class wearing earrings and the SS.teacher told her she couldn't come to the church wearing those ,well the child quit coming to SS.

[HeavenlyOne]

I want to add that I'm not talking abut little Sunday school kids. The Sunday school may do a little song or something and that's fine, but to be on the platform as singer, choir, and so on they must comply.

My son led song service and had to be in a dress shirt, tie, and dress pants (which is mostly my standard for him anyway, but it's also the standard of the church for those behind the pulpit for any reason). He's 15. Yet the 13 yr old girl could wear torn jeans and a T-shirt and two pairs of earrings and that was ok. :nah

[HeavenlyOne]

This is a true story and this sadly happened, there was a child in a beginners SS class whose parents were not saved.The child came to the SS class wearing earrings and the SS.teacher told her she couldn't come to the church wearing those ,well the child quit coming to SS.

That is absolutely pathetic!

[Scott Hutchinson]

That is absolutely pathetic!

This really happened.
Another teacher in the same church accused a child whose parents aren't in church of dying her hair.

[HeavenlyOne]

This really happened.
Another teacher in the same church accused a child whose parents aren't in church of dying her hair.


Someone forgot to keep the main thing, the main thing.

[Scott Hutchinson]

Someone forgot to keep the main thing, the main thing.

I agree.

[Sherri]

Someone forgot to keep the main thing, the main thing.
These kinds of stories make me think that there's going to be a lot of blood on somebody's hands someday.

[freeatlast]

This is a true story and this sadly happened, there was a child in a beginners SS class whose parents were not saved.The child came to the SS class wearing earrings and the SS.teacher told her she couldn't come to the church wearing those ,well the child quit coming to SS.

I'd comment Scott...but I'm not sure how to spell IGNORANT !!










Hey it just means unlearned.





And I do mean the teacher , not the student.

[Scott Hutchinson]

I'd comment Scott...but I'm not sure how to spell IGNORANT !!










Hey it just means unlearned.





And I do mean the teacher , not the student.
The one that did this was self-righteous they couldn't even get along with their spouse,whom they would get into arguments regularly.

[freeatlast]

The one that did this was self-righteous they couldn't even get along with their spouse,whom they would get into arguments regularly.


Whoa there Big Fella...let's not get all judggy... :slaphappy J/K

[Scott Hutchinson]

Whoa there Big Fella...let's not get all judggy... :slaphappy J/K

Let's just say that person had issues.

[Fonix]

This is a true story and this sadly happened, there was a child in a beginners SS class whose parents were not saved.The child came to the SS class wearing earrings and the SS.teacher told her she couldn't come to the church wearing those ,well the child quit coming to SS.

The Pastor of that church should have definately had a talk with the lady.

[Rhoni]

These kinds of stories make me think that there's going to be a lot of blood on somebody's hands someday.

*tearfully*
I am sorry that this is the case.

[MrsMcD]

This is a true story and this sadly happened, there was a child in a beginners SS class whose parents were not saved.The child came to the SS class wearing earrings and the SS.teacher told her she couldn't come to the church wearing those ,well the child quit coming to SS.

This is heart breaking.

[MrsMcD]

Let's just say that person had issues.

Does the pastor know that this person did this to the child?

[originalsecretplace]

I am not sure any of us would know exactly what we were going to do until we were faced with those same circumstances.

I think alot of it would depend on the childs age. The other children who are complying might have a hard time understanding.

We once had a lady who attended our church. Knew the standards that the church held yet would allow her daughter to come to picnic functions in shorts or pants.

To me that is disrespectful because she herself knows what is taught and what the people believe. Kids have a hard time understanding it because they considered themselves as a member and yet they werent following what they heard taught

Big difference when you dont know what is taught and you do it or you know what is taughtand you just dont care and are gonna do what you want anyway


This strikes a nerve with me.

We had a Bible school in the church basement. I wanted to go and had talked to my daughter and asked her to go with me. My daughter was in her late teens and decided she didn't want to wear skirts all the time. My take on it was that it wasn't and heaven or hell issue and that my relationship with my daughter was more important so I did not make a big deal of it. I carefully pick my battles and weigh issues.

I was really happy that my daughter was going to go to Bible school with me for many reasons not the least of which was that she was going to have the Word of God taught to her more in depth. There's nothing more powerful than the Spirit and the Word working together to make deep spiritual changes in a person's life. We went to Bible School and the pastor said that all women had to abide by the dress standard of no pants. My daughter wouldn't go back because of it. I was crushed.

I thought instilling the Word in a person's life was more important because that is a heaven or hell issue and a way to come to maturity in Christ. Dress standards are just not a way to mature someone in the Lord.

[Revelationist]

How do people get saved if they are limited in their worship?

[Fonix]

This strikes a nerve with me.

We had a Bible school in the church basement. I wanted to go and had talked to my daughter and asked her to go with me. My daughter was in her late teens and decided she didn't want to wear skirts all the time. My take on it was that it wasn't and heaven or hell issue and that my relationship with my daughter was more important so I did not make a big deal of it. I carefully pick my battles and weigh issues.

I was really happy that my daughter was going to go to Bible school with me for many reasons not the least of which was that she was going to have the Word of God taught to her more in depth. There's nothing more powerful than the Spirit and the Word working together to make deep spiritual changes in a person's life. We went to Bible School and the pastor said that all women had to abide by the dress standard of no pants. My daughter wouldn't go back because of it. I was crushed.

I thought instilling the Word in a person's life was more important because that is a heaven or hell issue and a way to come to maturity in Christ. Dress standards are just not a way to mature someone in the Lord.


Im sorry it struck a nerve. I should have mentioned that the lady herself was a saint at our church. Im not talking about unchurched unlearned people
or people who have lost family or anything of the sort. That would be foolish to insinuate those folks had to abide by some dress code. I was certainly not belittleing instilling Gods word in people

[Trouvere]

Suppose you are a Pastor and you have set standards for your church.
Now you have children coming to your church whose parents are lost.
Suppose these children want to sing in the youth choir or participate in Sunday School outings and events.
Do you demand that children from these enviroments comply with the church standards before they can participate in church activities?

Our current pastor asks that they dress modestly when special things are going on but no he does not put restrictions on bus kids.

[Scott Hutchinson]

Our current pastor asks that they dress modestly when special things are going on but no he does not put restrictions on bus kids.

Bus kids come from lost homes and lost parents who buy their clothes so that makes sense.

[HeavenlyOne]

Bus kids come from lost homes and lost parents who buy their clothes so that makes sense.

And a lot of church raised kids have only one parent in the church and one that isn't. This makes for a very difficult situation as well.

[Scott Hutchinson]

Does the pastor know that this person did this to the child?

I think that Pastor find out after it happened.

[NightOwl]

Suppose you are a Pastor and you have set standards for your church.
Now you have children coming to your church whose parents are lost.
Suppose these children want to sing in the youth choir or participate in Sunday School outings and events.
Do you demand that children from these enviroments comply with the church standards before they can participate in church activities?


OK I know this is an old topic but it got me thinking.
I started going to a UPC church when I was 8, was baptized at 9. I went to church on and off till I was 14 then was going regular I started going as a result of people from the church going door to door. Neither my parents went to church, infact I had a dad that thought the standards were stupid, I had to wear pants even though I did not want to, even to church a couple times. My dad made me keep my hair cut, as he wanted me to always be in style lol.
My pastor never kept me out of anything for it, I was in the youth coral and all
This was in the 80s and we had cable TV. The pastors granddaughter spent the night and after her telling her mom she watched cable over at my house, it was awhile before she spent the night again. But other than that I didn't have any problems not having parents in church

[Scott Hutchinson]

Night Owl it sounds like you were under loving and understanding leadership.

[NightOwl]

There was a lady in church that let me know she didn't think I should have come to church in pants, the time I had to but she wasnt there long, but other than that I had no major problems

[Scott Hutchinson]

Night owl you living under parents who wasn't in church what could you do ?

[NightOwl]

true

[Scott Hutchinson]

I not a UC to some I'm would be considered as liberal but I'm not anything goes.
One time a child was going to a UPCI church and her parents were not in church ,and a person told the child she couldn't come to their sunday school class wearing ear-rings.Anyways the child quit going and goes nowhere to my knowledge now.
And no that pastor didn't approve of such.

[preachtruth1ness]

Suppose you are a Pastor and you have set standards for your church.
Now you have children coming to your church whose parents are lost.
Suppose these children want to sing in the youth choir or participate in Sunday School outings and events.
Do you demand that children from these enviroments comply with the church standards before they can participate in church activities?

The way to handle this is to allow the child to participate. That is how you are to minister to the children. You will impact there lives for the gospel that way. This is my opinion only.

[AmazingGrace]

Bro Scott,

My nephews have started coming to church with us. They havent been in church since they were babies.. yet their mom grew up in a UPC pastors home. They have no standards whatsoever in their home but... The boys have been coming faithfully and they both almost received the hg this weekend.. This coming Sunday they are supposed to sing with the childrens choir and nothing at all has been said to them but the oldest came to me last night and said.. auntie.. I need you go to buy me some pants because its getting cold and also I dont feel right at church in shorts anymore... thats his own thing.. again NOTHING has been said by anyone at the church. .they come every service in shorts and one of them only wears tank tops... but they are feeling a need for change in their own lives and I believe it is because of the examples set before them

[Scott Hutchinson]

Bro Scott,

My nephews have started coming to church with us. They havent been in church since they were babies.. yet their mom grew up in a UPC pastors home. They have no standards whatsoever in their home but... The boys have been coming faithfully and they both almost received the hg this weekend.. This coming Sunday they are supposed to sing with the childrens choir and nothing at all has been said to them but the oldest came to me last night and said.. auntie.. I need you go to buy me some pants because its getting cold and also I dont feel right at church in shorts anymore... thats his own thing.. again NOTHING has been said by anyone at the church. .they come every service in shorts and one of them only wears tank tops... but they are feeling a need for change in their own lives and I believe it is because of the examples set before them

This is a great testimony.

[NightOwl]

Children of unsaved parents to me, the fact that they are comming showes they are developing a love for God for themselves and not riding their parents coatails as it seems some young people in the church are. They are at least coming because they want to and not being made to, and that ought to say somthing right there

[Arphaxad]

This is a true story and this sadly happened, there was a child in a beginners SS class whose parents were not saved.The child came to the SS class wearing earrings and the SS.teacher told her she couldn't come to the church wearing those ,well the child quit coming to SS.

that aint right, SS teachers don't run the church.
there was a guy that had piercings that was baptized, he removed them prior and put them on again afterwards and someone( not one in authority) told him that he couldn't wear them again at all, whether at church or not. I asked him why he said that, and that we will probably never see that guy again. Well, he never came again. The sad thing is the pentecostal police guy is backslidden now.


ARPH :doggyrun

[pelathais]

This is a true story and this sadly happened, there was a child in a beginners SS class whose parents were not saved.The child came to the SS class wearing earrings and the SS.teacher told her she couldn't come to the church wearing those ,well the child quit coming to SS.
I could see telling the child that she could not preach the sermon from the pulpit that day, but to exclude someone like this, especially a child, is just heartless.

What's the point in even having a church if you run off everyone who visits? That sounds a lot like an environment I was in for years.

[JaneEyre]

I could see telling the child that she could not preach the sermon from the pulpit that day, but to exclude someone like this, especially a child, is just heartless.

What's the point in even having a church if you run off everyone who visits? That sounds a lot like an environment I was in for years.

Yes..I've witnessed those kind of things, too....People would have skirts in the back of the church for the little girls if they came to church in pants. I thought that was carrying things too far. It was so embarrassing to those kids to have to be taken into the Sunday School room to change clothes and sometimes the clothes didn't fit. No wonder that someone dreamed (and posted) that the Angels were folding up little white robes. We can offend our children by talking negatively about the pastors and saints in the church or we can offend the little ones coming to our churches unawares of all of the "to do" lists. Sad, sad, sad. This makes me want to cry.

[Truthseeker]

I have to disagree. I have 4 kids and at our church (which is a conservative UPC church I might add) we have probably 20+ kids that come and the girls wear pants and most of the boys wear shorts in the summer.

My boys understand that those kids parents don't come to church so they don't have a choice about their clothing. They understand more than you think!

Then there parents like us who are in church and let their sons wear shorts.

[Truthseeker]

OK I know this is an old topic but it got me thinking.
I started going to a UPC church when I was 8, was baptized at 9. I went to church on and off till I was 14 then was going regular I started going as a result of people from the church going door to door. Neither my parents went to church, infact I had a dad that thought the standards were stupid, I had to wear pants even though I did not want to, even to church a couple times. My dad made me keep my hair cut, as he wanted me to always be in style lol.
My pastor never kept me out of anything for it, I was in the youth coral and all
This was in the 80s and we had cable TV. The pastors granddaughter spent the night and after her telling her mom she watched cable over at my house, it was awhile before she spent the night again. But other than that I didn't have any problems not having parents in church

UHHH but do ya still wear ppants, cut your hair and have cable TV?:guns

[Truthseeker]

I not a UC to some I'm would be considered as liberal but I'm not anything goes.
One time a child was going to a UPCI church and her parents were not in church ,and a person told the child she couldn't come to their sunday school class wearing ear-rings.Anyways the child quit going and goes nowhere to my knowledge now.
And no that pastor didn't approve of such.


How bout sit the teacher down, pastor goes to the child and invites her back?

[Tina]

Our church doesn't have restrictions on the children participating. The children who come in through the bus ministry often come to church in jeans or shorts. No one ever says a word to them about what they are wearing.

They are not restricted from taking part in kidz church or any related activities. They are allowed to participate in the Easter programs, Christmas programs, etc. Keeping those children involved in church activities is very important. As long as they are coming for the activities, they are being taught-- regardless of how they are dressed when they get on the bus to come to church.

Who cares if a child comes to church in jeans or shorts... or wearing earrings, etc? At least they are coming to church, and wanting to be involved. By keeping the kids involved and excited about things going on at church-- you have the chance to get the unsaved parent(s) to attend service when there's something special going on that their child is participating in.

If you offend the child, and the child doesn't want to come back to church-- you will never have a chance of getting the parents to attend.

[Sister Truth Seeker]

Suppose you are a Pastor and you have set standards for your church.
Now you have children coming to your church whose parents are lost.
Suppose these children want to sing in the youth choir or participate in Sunday School outings and events.
Do you demand that children from these enviroments comply with the church standards before they can participate in church activities?

Are you refering to adult children or minors? Hey I was once saved, but now I am lost according to my kids(I don't think I am lost, and neither does God)...they will not let us around our grandkids and they won't even hardly talk to us....but that does not stop them in their church....they do it all....ya know to the point of exhaustion...no time for anything outside the church...oh those were the days...I am so glad they are behind me! I am not angry or bitter anymore...still hurt about my kids cause I love them, but happy with my life....and what God is doing in it!

[Scott Hutchinson]

Are you refering to adult children or minors? Hey I was once saved, but now I am lost according to my kids(I don't think I am lost, and neither does God)...they will not let us around our grandkids and they won't even hardly talk to us....but that does not stop them in their church....they do it all....ya know to the point of exhaustion...no time for anything outside the church...oh those were the days...I am so glad they are behind me! I am not angry or bitter anymore...still hurt about my kids cause I love them, but happy with my life....and what God is doing in it!

Sister I was referring to minors.

[NightOwl]

UHHH but do ya still wear ppants, cut your hair and have cable TV?:guns

lol no to the first 2 and yes to the last lol

:couch:

whats interesting the mom that wouldnt let her daughter come over alot because of cable, now has cable herself

[MissBrattified]

This is a true story and this sadly happened, there was a child in a beginners SS class whose parents were not saved.The child came to the SS class wearing earrings and the SS.teacher told her she couldn't come to the church wearing those ,well the child quit coming to SS.

I hope that teacher was dismissed. :shifty

[Sister Truth Seeker]

Sister I was referring to minors.


The church I attended would not have let the children do those things unless they(the parents, at least one of them) came to church too...as a matter of fact they had a school and they wanted parents to follow the rules even if they didn't come to church, but just to have their kids in the school...they were very afraid of negative influences, they did let down a bit on the school requirements, ,mainly I think because they needed the money....

[ForeverBlessed]

This strikes a nerve with me.

We had a Bible school in the church basement. I wanted to go and had talked to my daughter and asked her to go with me. My daughter was in her late teens and decided she didn't want to wear skirts all the time. My take on it was that it wasn't and heaven or hell issue and that my relationship with my daughter was more important so I did not make a big deal of it. I carefully pick my battles and weigh issues.

I was really happy that my daughter was going to go to Bible school with me for many reasons not the least of which was that she was going to have the Word of God taught to her more in depth. There's nothing more powerful than the Spirit and the Word working together to make deep spiritual changes in a person's life. We went to Bible School and the pastor said that all women had to abide by the dress standard of no pants. My daughter wouldn't go back because of it. I was crushed.

I thought instilling the Word in a person's life was more important because that is a heaven or hell issue and a way to come to maturity in Christ. Dress standards are just not a way to mature someone in the Lord.

I like you think there is more to consider in a teens life. I agree with you..pick your battles… I have two girls who find it difficult to wear skirts all the time. I am not living w/same peer pressure they are in today's schools… I don’t think it is salvational issue… so when I found several years ago that my youngest changed her clothes when she got to school anyway (Thanks to most of her classmates being larger and handing down all their jeans) .. I sat down and explained it was worse for her to rebel against me.. I don’t want her hiding stuff from me… like you, my relationship with her is far more important… and I would never shun her from church..or allow a church to shut her out over pants. I would go somewhere else first.

I explained to her that God would never turn her away over a pair of pants…why should a church… and especially her mom. I explained until she sang in the adult choir, she could wear pants as long as they were modest. She sings in the youth choir from time to time… you don’t have to sign agreement for youth choir. I just keep her in church, in his presence and cultivate a walk with God.

One of my daughters has a lot of issues… emotional and otherwise… there are far too many things to be concerned with than a pair of pants.. I am more concerned about getting the basics of the Word of God in her… Then there is my oldest loves to stand out and loves to tell everyone about her God… she uses the attire to get others attention.. seriously.. and she gave a speech for her speech class where her first part of the speech was informing that nothing we can do can earn salvation… so her dress wasn’t part of her salvation…but then went on to talk about standards of life… including religion, career…. Right down to cops and uniforms on military… My hats off to her, but she is a totally different personality. She doesn't mind being different.

God made us all different and I wish that pastors and churches would figure out we all can’t be cookie cutter Christians.. and let people work out their own salvation on some things.

I think that we should be very careful who we shun or turn away because of a tradition of standards… the loss of souls is not worth it.

[Sister Truth Seeker]

I like you think there is more to consider in a teens life. I agree with you..pick your battles… I have two girls who find it difficult to wear skirts all the time. I am not living w/same peer pressure they are in today's schools… I don’t think it is salvational issue… so when I found several years ago that my youngest changed her clothes when she got to school anyway (Thanks to most of her classmates being larger and handing down all their jeans) .. I sat down and explained it was worse for her to rebel against me.. I don’t want her hiding stuff from me… like you, my relationship with her is far more important… and I would never shun her from church..or allow a church to shut her out over pants. I would go somewhere else first.

I explained to her that God would never turn her away over a pair of pants…why should a church… and especially her mom. I explained until she sang in the adult choir, she could wear pants as long as they were modest. She sings in the youth choir from time to time… you don’t have to sign agreement for youth choir. I just keep her in church, in his presence and cultivate a walk with God.

One of my daughters has a lot of issues… emotional and otherwise… there are far too many things to be concerned with than a pair of pants.. I am more concerned about getting the basics of the Word of God in her… Then there is my oldest loves to stand out and loves to tell everyone about her God… she uses the attire to get others attention.. seriously.. and she gave a speech for her speech class where her first part of the speech was informing that nothing we can do can earn salvation… so her dress wasn’t part of her salvation…but then went on to talk about standards of life… including religion, career…. Right down to cops and uniforms on military… My hats off to her, but she is a totally different personality. She doesn't mind being different.

God made us all different and I wish that pastors and churches would figure out we all can’t be cookie cutter Christians.. and let people work out their own salvation on some things.

I think that we should be very careful who we shun or turn away because of a tradition of standards… the loss of souls is not worth it.
Sis your girls and you are just beautifullllll!

[Truthseeker]

lol no to the first 2 and yes to the last lol

:couch:

whats interesting the mom that wouldnt let her daughter come over alot because of cable, now has cable herself

Sometimes us parents can not allow something now but in the future see it different.

[NightOwl]

Sometimes us parents can not allow something now but in the future see it different.

true

I have a 14 year old myself, so I know

that is 14 going on 24 lol

[Truthseeker]

true

I have a 14 year old myself, so I know

that is 14 going on 24 lol

I was telling a brother wose wife is with child(I sound biblical, don't I) in so many words nothing more challenging the raising kids. All our inconsistencies come to the front that would have never been revealed before.

[NightOwl]

I was telling a brother wose wife is with child(I sound biblical, don't I) in so many words nothing more challenging the raising kids. All our inconsistencies come to the front that would have never been revealed before.

so true

[ForeverBlessed]

Sis your girls and you are just beautifullllll!

Thank you.. :)