How to deal with a difficult music director?

[Renee29]

What do you think is the best way to deal with a difficult music director? besides involving the Pastor?

What do you think is a realistic amount of practice time?

[StillStanding]

What do you think is the best way to deal with a difficult music director? besides involving the Pastor?

What do you think is a realistic amount of practice time?

I would approach the music director and let him/her know my feelings about extreme amount of practicing. Everyone has jobs and families that they must attend to also. I would let them know that I planned to talk with the pastor about it if it continued.

Let them know that it's not personal, but that you are burning the candle at both ends because of the demands of time.

[jaxfam6]

What do you think is the best way to deal with a difficult music director? besides involving the Pastor?

What do you think is a realistic amount of practice time?

You may want to simply step down. I think, from experience, that when dealing with music you are dealing with ego's. Not something you should have in church but it happens.
Simply advise them that due to time constraints you will not be able to continue participating in praise team, choir, whatever it is.

[StMark]

What do you think is the best way to deal with a difficult music director? besides involving the Pastor?

What do you think is a realistic amount of practice time?


Give me more details

what's this practice for ? Praise team? choir ? band practice ?


my choir practices are 1 hour. I'm a music director and will say ,it can be done successfully to with careful preparation

[Renee29]

an hour a week? I think that's very reasonable. How much do you except your musicians to practice?


Give me more details

what's this practice for ? Praise team? choir ? band practice ?


my choir practices are 1 hour. I'm a music director and will say ,it can be done successfully to with careful preparation

[Renee29]

My Pastor very RARELY let's someone "step down".

You may want to simply step down. I think, from experience, that when dealing with music you are dealing with ego's. Not something you should have in church but it happens.
Simply advise them that due to time constraints you will not be able to continue participating in praise team, choir, whatever it is.

[jaxfam6]

My Pastor very RARELY let's someone "step down".

your pastor has no right to force anyone to stay in a position.

[StillStanding]

My Pastor very RARELY let's someone "step down".

Wow! Your pastor exercises a lot of control!

[jaxfam6]

Wow! Your pastor exercises a lot of control!

Sounds to me like it is called absolute control.

[StMark]

an hour a week? I think that's very reasonable. How much do you except your musicians to practice?


We practice about 2-3 hours BUT we love it! it gets fun. I try to give lead sheets and CDs of the music in advance


My musician practices are seperate from choir. That's one reason choir practices end up being too long. there is too much going on at once.
when you have the band trying to learn the songs at the same time it turns into chaos.
Even if the band knows the songs, the choir can hide behind the music. It's better to have minimal music at rehearsals so that you can focus on parts and leads.

what I do is this. I have a seperate practice with my vocal section leaders and teach them the new songs. I believe every section needs an anchor. then, at rehearsals, they help me teach the songs and sing the parts. This makes the rehearsals go much more effectivley.

Also, I type out all our announcements and only highlight the things that need to be brought up.

IN fact, we have choir from 7-8 pm on weds nights which is our mid week service night! then the choir goes into our pastor's bible class at 8pm. our choir doesn't even have to come out an extra night in the week! this gives me more time to practice with the band and smaller groups, teams, etc.
It is AWESOME!

One hour rehearsals can and are very effective! and our attendance is GREAT because the people know I value their time,they know we mean business and they respect that in return.

[steve p]

Shoot em....( I am one of em....LOL)

[RevBuddy]

What do you think is the best way to deal with a difficult music director? besides involving the Pastor?

What do you think is a realistic amount of practice time?

Pull the electrical plug on the keyboard and instruments...

[jaxfam6]

Pull the electrical plug on the keyboard and instruments...

now there is a solution. We all know todays musicians can not play if they do not have electricity to back them up.


=)

[steve p]

:crazywallsnow there is a solution. We all know todays musicians can not play if they do not have electricity to back them up.


=)
I beg to differ....Gimme my Acoustic Martin D 18 and Scott Hutcherson on upright bass and I bet we could play even if the electricity was off!!
LOL

[MissBrattified]

What do you think is the best way to deal with a difficult music director? besides involving the Pastor?

Directly, but in a problem solving sort of manner, rather than confrontational. Sometimes leaders can be brusque in the process of getting the job done, without meaning to be. (Ask me how I know. :) )

Along the lines of, "I'm feeling really frustrated right now, and this is why. [Explain]" "Is there some way to work this out so I feel more excited about being involved in the Music Department?"

If that conversation doesn't work out, THEN I would approach the pastor and ask for a mediated conversation between you and the Music Director.

What do you think is a realistic amount of practice time?

It depends on the type of music you have. We have a Thursday night practice, and we practice (about half an hour) before each service. For special services, we may tack on a Saturday afternoon or two prior. Sometimes we have separate musicians practices, and separate practices for special music like trios or solos.

Generally, if the pastor and music director have agreed on a certain schedule, the music department member is aware of said schedule upon joining the department, and agrees to it, reasonable or not. If you agree to a schedule, then you have no leeway to object to it later.

If you joined with a certain understanding, and the musical ante is upped, then you are a volunteer, and thus have the right to withdraw from the department if the schedule is too demanding. :)

[MissBrattified]

My Pastor very RARELY let's someone "step down".

Um, Renee, what do you mean by "let's"?

You say, "I will no longer be able to participate in the music department." Firmly and with a pleasant smile. ;)

[Renee29]

That would be followed with an hour or two of why and how can we work this out, you need to be involved etc.

Um, Renee, what do you mean by "let's"?

You say, "I will no longer be able to participate in the music department." Firmly and with a pleasant smile. ;)

[jaxfam6]

:crazywalls
I beg to differ....Gimme my Acoustic Martin D 18 and Scott Hutcherson on upright bass and I bet we could play even if the electricity was off!!
LOL

Then you my brother I truly want to hear. To many these days depend to heavily on the electricity to get them through.
I have not heard a good upright bass played in church in many years.

[jaxfam6]

That would be followed with an hour or two of why and how can we work this out, you need to be involved etc.

And you say at this point in time I just need to have more time for my family. I have looked everything over and this is the area I am able to let go of right now.

[StillStanding]

That would be followed with an hour or two of why and how can we work this out, you need to be involved etc.
Purposely call the meeting when you have an important doctor's appointment or something like that 30 minutes later! :D

[U376977]

Speaking of "pulling the plug." Let me add a little humor. When I was growing up the my pastors daughter thought she liked some guy from her school. He started coming to our church and was kind of "hands off" because of the pastor/daughter connection. Everyone could see that he was gay, except for the daughter. The pastor would not receive any input about the guy, his love for his daughter blinded him to the obvious. Anyway, the guy even had the classic gay "Jesthus" lisp. One night the guy was asked to sing and my dad--a joker--flipped the switch that cut off the power to the organ and amps. Then ducked out the door before anyone knew what happened.
Perhaps, pulling the plug is not a bad idea. I know of times I would still like to do it today!!!

[Mareljr]

go srtaight to the source and in a Godly fashion discuss with him/her what the problem is as you see it and be open minded enough to be wrong if need be.

[mrjxbx37i]

I think you should call a church meeting and take a vote on this issue. And go from there. I believe the best democracy is a hypocracy! (wait a minute... that didn't quite come out right...)

but SERIOUSLY....

Isn't this REALLY about restoring the integrity of the commitment you made to be a part of the group you are talking about?

I use the word INTEGRITY here not as maybe you have known it to be.... as a moral issue. But I use the word ~ Integrity ~ as referring to a state of being WHOLE and COMPLETE!

If I were your Pastor here would be MY suggestion...

I would simply go to the Music Director and ask him or her to please clarify the expectations and commitment that he / or she expects from everyone. Then YOU must be responsible to examine your own life and your priorities to see if YOU can make that commitment full out.

Maybe your M.D. simply has a commitment to offer up their gift of worship with a level of excellence that allows them to be true to God, their gift and their calling. And we all know that it's time our churches bring something fresh and new and annointed as an offering to the most high and excellent God.

AND If I were your Pastor I would not accept anything less.

So you see my friend, [I]at this point[I], this issue has NOTHING to do with your Pastor. And let me also add ~ IF he or she is someone who "rarely lets anyone step down" then this sounds like a case of classic freakish religious control ~ aka abuse.

So ~ in short ~ Be responsible for your own choices my sister and serve with integrity and passion and MOST OF ALL PLEASE BE where you are supposed to be WHEN you are supposed to BE there. And I mean REALLY BE THERE ~ not just "there" taking up physical space while your heart and soul is in an upset about being there for a certain amount of time. THAT will kill the team my friend. And I have a hard time believing that would be like Christ!

Be well. NOT right!

[mrjxbx37i]

Hey Steve P and Jaxfam

Did you know that there are some places where electricity AND running water are not only options for luxury living ~ BUT not BAD things? And I hear the next HUGE invention is gonna be little boxes that can compute and transfer images and data REALLY quickly... all over the world! Like crazy ~ breakneck speed.

I don't know.... you might wanna upgrade your pardigm brothers!