Triple E's It's Ok to Laugh Thread

[TRIPLE E]

Every time a boy went to his playmates house he saw his grandmother studying her Bible. Finally, he asked his friend about it. Why is you Grandmother always reading that Bible? He answered, I don’t know. But I think she is cramming for her finals."

[TRIPLE E]

A young man went into a drugstore to buy 3 boxes of chocolate: small, medium, and large. When the pharmacist asked him about the three boxes, he said, “Well, I’m going over to a new girlfriend’s house for supper. Then we’re going out. If she only lets me hold her hand, then I’ll give her the small box. If she lets me kiss her on the cheek, then I’ll give her the medium box. But if she really lets me smooch seriously, I’ll give her the big box.” He made his purchase and left.

That evening as he sat down at dinner with his girlfriend’s family, he asked if he could say the prayer before the meal. He began to pray, and he prayed an earnest, intense prayer that lasted for almost five minutes. When he finished his girlfriend said, “You never told me you were such a religious person.” He said, “And you never told me your dad was a pharmacist!”

[Pro31:28]

A young man went into a drugstore to buy 3 boxes of chocolate: small, medium, and large. When the pharmacist asked him about the three boxes, he said, “Well, I’m going over to a new girlfriend’s house for supper. Then we’re going out. If she only lets me hold her hand, then I’ll give her the small box. If she lets me kiss her on the cheek, then I’ll give her the medium box. But if she really lets me smooch seriously, I’ll give her the big box.” He made his purchase and left.

That evening as he sat down at dinner with his girlfriend’s family, he asked if he could say the prayer before the meal. He began to pray, and he prayed an earnest, intense prayer that lasted for almost five minutes. When he finished his girlfriend said, “You never told me you were such a religious person.” He said, “And you never told me your dad was a pharmacist!”

HA! Triple E, you cleaned that joke up really well!

I would have said a candy store instead of a pharmacist though

[DividedThigh]

well i think the boy was wise to pray so long, since papa was listening, lol

[TRIPLE E]

One day, a mother explained to her five-year-old daughter that if she chose to disobey her, she would have to live with the consequences. "Oh, Mommy!" she said with a terrified look on her face. "Please don’t make me live with the Consequences. I want to live here with you!"

[tstew]

HA! Triple E, you cleaned that joke up really well!

I would have said a candy store instead of a pharmacist though

:ursofunny
Yeah, that was a good job of censorship on that one.

[mizpeh]

I received this in an email today.

The Potato History

Well, Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam.'

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.

When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.

They warned her about going out
and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.

Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!

But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.

She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.

When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland .

And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.

Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate</ SPAN> with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'

Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University ) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.

But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw!

Mr. and Mrs . Potato were very upset.

They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just......






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A COMMON TATER

[Sam]

A young man went into a drugstore to buy 3 boxes of chocolate: small, medium, and large. When the pharmacist asked him about the three boxes, he said, “Well, I’m going over to a new girlfriend’s house for supper. Then we’re going out. If she only lets me hold her hand, then I’ll give her the small box. If she lets me kiss her on the cheek, then I’ll give her the medium box. But if she really lets me smooch seriously, I’ll give her the big box.” He made his purchase and left.

That evening as he sat down at dinner with his girlfriend’s family, he asked if he could say the prayer before the meal. He began to pray, and he prayed an earnest, intense prayer that lasted for almost five minutes. When he finished his girlfriend said, “You never told me you were such a religious person.” He said, “And you never told me your dad was a pharmacist!”

I've heard a different version of that one.

[TRIPLE E]

I've heard a different version of that one.

I guess your not the only one,I myself have never heard it any other way!

[TRIPLE E]

- WIFE: "There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?"
WIFE: "In the swimming pool."

[TRIPLE E]

Did you hear the one about the woman who begged her husband to take her somewhere expensive for a change? He drove her to the corner gas station.

[TRIPLE E]

Mark Twain was a distinguished-looking figure in his later years. One day he was strolling in the park when a little girl pattered up to him and asked if she could walk with him. Highly flattered, Twain told her stories for an hour, then gave her a nickel and said, “Now run along home—and when you grow up you can tell your friends you once walked with Mark Twain.” “Mark Twain!” echoed the little girl, bursting into tears. “I thought you were Buffalo Bill!”

[HappyTown]

Triple E's It's Ok to Laugh Thread

I'll admit I thought this was a bra thread!!!!:footinmouth

[TRIPLE E]

One year, a man decided to buy his wife a different gift for Christmas.
He decided to purchase a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift for her.
The wife thought it was quite strange but she figured: “at least
We won’t have to buy one when the time comes.”

So the next year comes around and the husband did not buy her a gift this
time.

When she asked him why, he replied,

"Why should I, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!"

[TRIPLE E]

Did you hear about the guy that
bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas? A friend of his said, "I
thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "She did," he
replied. "But where am I gonna find a fake Jeep?"

[Neck]

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:
"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."
1000 BC - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 AD - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 AD - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 AD - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 AD - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

[Neck]

The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. They all died and went to heaven together.


"Oh, this is terrible," exclaims St. Peter, "I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those coincidences that happen. Since we weren't expecting you, your quarters just aren't ready... We can't take you in and we can't send you back...."

Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, "Lucifer, this is Pete. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They're ours, but we weren't expecting them, and we gotta fix the place up for 'em. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It'll only be a couple of days. What d'ya say?"

Reluctantly, the Devil agreed.

However, two days later, St. Peter got a call.

"Pete, Lu.

Hey, you gotta come get these three clowns.

This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody,
the Graham guy is saving everybody,
and that Oral Roberts has raised enough money to buy air conditioning."

[Neck]

"How many church members does it take to change a light bulb?"

Whaddaya mean CHANGE??? That light bulb was given in memory of my Grandmother! My father installed it with his bare hands! He donated his time AND the use of his ladder to do it, too! My family's been members of this church for four generations! And if you think you're gonna come in here and make a bunch of changes all of a sudden, Pastor, you've got another think coming!

[Neck]

Preaching
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.

Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.

After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

[Neck]

Heavenly Rates
A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates. St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."

"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."

"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!"

"Three points?" he says. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service."

"Terrific!" says St. Peter, "that's certainly worth a point."

"One point? Golly. How about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."

"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.

"TWO POINTS!!" the man cries, "At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God!"

"Come on in!"

[TRIPLE E]

A lady was out hitting all the local garage sales when she came across an old needlepoint picture that read, “Prayer Changes Lives.” She bought it, took it home and began to look for just the right place to hang the new picture. Finally, she decided that it went well in the dinning room over the dinning room table. With great pride she admired her garage sale discovery and could hardly wait to show it to her husband. That evening when her husband arrived home from work, she showed the picture to him but he made no indication one way or another of his likes or dislikes of the new picture. The next day as the lady was cleaning the house, she discovered that the new picture was gone. As she continued to clean the house, she discovered the picture behind a bookcase. She thought, “That’s strange,” and rehung the picture in its original location. The next day, to her dismay, she discovers the picture gone again and again discovers it behind the bookcase. When the husband arrives home, she confronts her husband and asks him if he is displeased with the art of the needlepoint, to which he responds, no, not at all, it is a great work of art. She continues, is it the place? Do you not like the place it is hung? He says, no, not at all, it is in a great location. She concludes that it must be the message and asks him if it’s the message that he doesn’t like. He says, no, not at all, the message is great. Finally, she says, then what’s the problem? He says, “I just don’t like change.”

[TRIPLE E]

1. My wife and I have the secret to making our marriage last: Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant for some good food and relaxation. She goes on Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
2. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
3. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
4. I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
5. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
6. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What’s on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"