Resume Tips

[Ron]

I have a Resume that is Chronological but someone advised me to also put together a "Skills Resume."

For some reason I am having a mental block, any tips or advice?

[Ron]

Any CV experts around?

[pelathais]

When they ask you, "How did you hear about this job?" Don't answer, "The voices."

"The voices" is never the correct answer in a job interview.

[Ron]

When they ask you, "How did you hear about this job?" Don't answer, "The voices."

"The voices" is never the correct answer in a job interview.

Yup! That & don't fidget & look real agitated!:nutso

[Cindy]

When they ask you, "How did you hear about this job?" Don't answer, "The voices."

"The voices" is never the correct answer in a job interview.

Is so!!! And you have to shout real loud sometimes so they listen.

Oh sorry, wrong thread.

[Cindy]

I have a Resume that is Chronological but someone advised me to also put together a "Skills Resume."

For some reason I am having a mental block, any tips or advice?

There are free online programs to help you with a resume.
Monster.com I think is one.

[Ron]

Is so!!! And you have to shout real loud sometimes so they listen.

Oh sorry, wrong thread.

:hijacked:hijacked

[Ron]

There are free online programs to help you with a resume.
Monster.com I think is one.

Then I could just go there!:nutso

I like getting free info here!:gotcha

[TalkLady]

Please don't include these comments in your resume:

The resume bloopers

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:

1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.

3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

5. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

6. Its best for employers that I not work with people.

7. Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.

8. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.

9. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

10. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

11. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

12. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.

13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

14. I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.

15. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.

16. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.

17. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.

18. As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.

19. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.

20. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.

21. Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.

22. Marital status: often. Children: various.

23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those conditions.

24. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

25. Finished eighth in my class of ten.

26. References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.

[Ron]

Please don't include these comments in your resume:

The resume bloopers

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:

1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.

3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

5. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

6. Its best for employers that I not work with people.

7. Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.

8. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.

9. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

10. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

11. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

12. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.

13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

14. I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.

15. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.

16. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.

17. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.

18. As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.

19. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.

20. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.

21. Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.

22. Marital status: often. Children: various.

23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those conditions.

24. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

25. Finished eighth in my class of ten.

26. References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.

Oooooppps, I gotta change #17 & 26!:nutso

[Cindy]

Then I could just go there!:nutso

I like getting free info here!:gotcha

Yes, you may have to register. But you don't have to pay anything. In Texas even the state will help you look locally.

[Ron]

Yes, you may have to register. But you don't have to pay anything. In Texas even the state will help you look locally.

We have Monster.ca.
My Resume is already there.

[TalkLady]

These may be Oldies to you but refresh yourself...You may need to remember them in your office:

Company buzz words

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.

Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, and then leaves.

Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.

Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.

Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

Tourists: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in class; the rest were just tourists."

Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

Going Postal: Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.

Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the Alpha Geek around here.

Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.

GOOD job: A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.

Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of attacking an electronic device to get it to work again.

Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a Vice President at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.

Vulcan Nerve Pinch: The taxing hand positions required to reach all the appropriate keys for commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.

[Cindy]

We have Monster.ca.
My Resume is already there.

There should be examples of the skills part somewhere there. They usually have examples to show you.

[TalkLady]

These websites might be helpful in writing or revising a resume:

http://www.howtowritearesume.net/page/functional-resume.aspx

http://www.howtowritearesume.net/search.aspx?q=skills%20resume

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=How+to+write+a+resume&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&resnum=4&ct=title