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Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 09:24 AM
Have you ever met someone that you just cannot stand? A total personality conflict? There is a new couple who moved from another church and are attending our church now. My husband and I can't stand them? LOL! I can't stand this woman!

I feel terrible because I'm supposed to always care about people - look past the ugly and see why they are hurting or acting the way they do. It's just that I'm having a really hard time with this one. I don't want to gossip about details - just the subject of not liking a person's personality - everything about them! LOL!

I know I need to pray and have been - Lord, bless her, heal her heart..........but when I see her - my prayers seem to be out of the window.

Hoping at some point I can break through that and end up friends, but it's just not looking good.

So, advice or a sharing of similar experience would be nice. I really am trying, honestly........

Ferd
04-29-2009, 09:27 AM
LOL! YES! I Certainly know exactly what you are talking about.

As i read this, a certain person popped into my mind! I know exactly what that feels like.

intererstingly enought, I am preaching tonight on the subject of "Looking past the person"

How funny is that?

ILG
04-29-2009, 09:28 AM
What I find is that, generally, when I can't stand someone, either they remind me of a bad trait in myself, or they have a bad trait that I don't know how to deal with. I try to find what it is about them that is bothering me (besides, she is such a witch! :ursofunny) and try to figure out what my shortcoming is. At the same time, I do not use my shortcoming (which may be small compared to theirs.....or not) to beat myself over the head and say I should like them more. It could be they are just a pretty rotton person. But, I can learn something from everybody, even if it is about what I could change about me. And then, I try to be nice. :)

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 09:30 AM
LOL! YES! I Certainly know exactly what you are talking about.

As i read this, a certain person popped into my mind! I know exactly what that feels like.

intererstingly enought, I am preaching tonight on the subject of "Looking past the person"

How funny is that?
Well, preach to me then!!! When I am in the same room with her it's like nails on a chalkboard!!!! I need help! LOL

This is serious, I'm thinking - Okay, you will see her tonight - do not drink any caffeine after noon so you will make sure you are thinking clearly and are calm! Do not read anything stressful before church - no news! Do not elevate your blood pressure in any way! LOL!

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 09:33 AM
What I find is that, generally, when I can't stand someone, either they remind me of a bad trait in myself, or they have a bad trait that I don't know how to deal with. I try to find what it is about them that is bothering me (besides, she is such a witch! :ursofunny) and try to figure out what my shortcoming is. At the same time, I do not use my shortcoming (which may be small compared to theirs.....or not) to beat myself over the head and say I should like them more. It could be they are just a pretty rotton person. But, I can learn something from everybody, even if it is about what I could change about me. And then, I try to be nice. :)
This is so true and something that I generally always practice - see if the thing you don't like in them is a trait of yours as well.

It would get into gossip if I lined out some things I don't like, so I'll read what everyone has to say and keep the details to myself.

Good post, ILG!!!

rgcraig
04-29-2009, 09:34 AM
Freak her out and give her a small gift - - maybe a candle you've made.

Prehaps, the way she acts toward you is because she doesn't understand you or feels threatened by you?

Given a gift might break the barrier.

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 09:37 AM
Freak her out and give her a small gift - - maybe a candle you've made.

Prehaps, the way she acts toward you is because she doesn't understand you or feels threatened by you?

Given a gift might break the barrier.
Good idea, but I'm not there yet. I'd feel like a hypocrite. If I gave her a gift, I'd have to be sincerely sincere. That isn't happening this week. LOL! Pray for me!

I do agree with you, in that, I also believe she feels threatened by me. I think as time goes by and she sees that I am NOT competing with her, she will eventually calm down.

Ron
04-29-2009, 09:38 AM
PO, one thing you are is honest & I don't mean that in a bad way!:thumbsup

I have met a few over the course of my 26 years of living for God that I called my "Grace Builders" (I am sure I am a "Grace Builder) to someone) & it isn't easy.

Faith is not feeling & Love, God's love, is a choice.
Ever had everything go wrong & then try to be thankful for it?
It goes against our human nature.
My nature says, "I like you, if you like me." "You can't stand me, well, then go fly a kite, I can't help it if you have poor taste!":thumbsup

Jesus loved everyone & I am sure they were not all like the Apostle John who was I believe a little easier to love.
We have to make a choice to be nice, to love, to serve, to be kind!
Prayer, & sheer will power can help us to achieve this.
When I had someone I did not particularly care for, I would try to find ways to be nice, to be kind, to serve, to love that person.
If you act that way toward them it won't be long before your feelings follow.

Honestly praying for them will help as well.
It is hard to pray for someone for God to bless them & harbour ill feelings at the same time!

Sorry, I am rambling!

rgcraig
04-29-2009, 09:38 AM
Good idea, but I'm not there yet. I'd feel like a hypocrite. If I gave her a gift, I'd have to be sincerely sincere. That isn't happening this week. LOL! Pray for me!

I do agree with you, in that, I also believe she feels threatened by me. I think as time goes by and she sees that I am NOT competing with her, she will eventually calm down.

I think that is the whole reason!

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 09:44 AM
PO, one thing you are is honest & I don't mean that in a bad way!:thumbsup

I have met a few over the course of my 26 years of living for God that I called my "Grace Builders" (I am sure I am a "Grace Builder) to someone) & it isn't easy.

Faith is not feeling & Love, God's love, is a choice.
Ever had everything go wrong & then try to be thankful for it?
It goes against our human nature.
My nature says, "I like you, if you like me." "You can't stand me, well, then go fly a kite, I can't help it if you have poor taste!":thumbsup

Jesus loved everyone & I am sure they were not all like the Apostle John who was I believe a little easier to love.
We have to make a choice to be nice, to love, to serve, to be kind!
Prayer, & sheer will power can help us to achieve this.
When I had someone I did not particularly care for, I would try to find ways to be nice, to be kind, to serve, to love that person.
If you act that way toward them it won't be long before your feelings follow.

Honestly praying for them will help as well.
It is hard to pray for someone for God to bless them & harbour ill feelings at the same time!

Sorry, I am rambling!

Thanks for the kind compliment, Ron! I am trying my best to be an honest Christian.

This is a good post and I think I need to pray a little more. Truthfully, when I read the part where you said, "If you act that way toward them it won't be long before your feelings follow" - I cringed! Lord, help me!! I'm miles away from where I need to be on this one!

Don't you love the times when you are in a prayer meeting or during the song service and His Spirit just melts your heart and everything in the whole world is all right again?!!!

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 09:47 AM
I think that is the whole reason!
I agree and I think through time we will work this out.

I've also observed people who have spent years in the medical industry are a bit more aggressive and a part of them seems to become a little unfeeling. That's just my observation. Perhaps others have seen a different side or have a different view.

Jermyn Davidson
04-29-2009, 09:47 AM
I just joined the choir at my new church-- I used to be a member of it before a long time ago. But the brother I sat next to in practice-- I think I made him uncomfortable. SO I was uncomfortable and was paralyzed by that discomfort because all I really wanted was to make friends with the lady on my left and the dude on my right.


I felt so awkward, so out of place-- I think I get on this guy's nerves!
He and his family are newer to the church than I am.

Ferd
04-29-2009, 09:47 AM
Good idea, but I'm not there yet. I'd feel like a hypocrite. If I gave her a gift, I'd have to be sincerely sincere. That isn't happening this week. LOL! Pray for me!

I do agree with you, in that, I also believe she feels threatened by me. I think as time goes by and she sees that I am NOT competing with her, she will eventually calm down.

fake it till you make it.

Ron
04-29-2009, 09:48 AM
Thanks for the kind compliment, Ron! I am trying my best to be an honest Christian.

This is a good post and I think I need to pray a little more. Truthfully, when I read the part where you said, "If you act that way toward them it won't be long before your feelings follow" - I cringed! Lord, help me!! I'm miles away from where I need to be on this one!

Don't you love the times when you are in a prayer meeting or during the song service and His Spirit just melts your heart and everything in the whole world is all right again?!!!

Amen! More of Jesus & less of me!
Also, if everyone was honest, all of us struggle with this at one time or another!

I often find myself falling far short of the mark when I compare my character to Jesus!
I am like Paul, "I press toward the mark...." Sound familiar?:thumbsup

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 09:50 AM
fake it till you make it.
Lord, it's so hard for me to do this. It's like being a liar, so I just do the avoidance thing. LOL! I can't separate the fake thing and the liar thing in my mind. I've never been able to do that.

I need help!

mizpeh
04-29-2009, 09:51 AM
PO, one thing you are is honest & I don't mean that in a bad way!:thumbsup

I have met a few over the course of my 26 years of living for God that I called my "Grace Builders" (I am sure I am a "Grace Builder) to someone) & it isn't easy.

Faith is not feeling & Love, God's love, is a choice.
Ever had everything go wrong & then try to be thankful for it?
It goes against our human nature.
My nature says, "I like you, if you like me." "You can't stand me, well, then go fly a kite, I can't help it if you have poor taste!":thumbsup

Jesus loved everyone & I am sure they were not all like the Apostle John who was I believe a little easier to love.
We have to make a choice to be nice, to love, to serve, to be kind!
Prayer, & sheer will power can help us to achieve this.
When I had someone I did not particularly care for, I would try to find ways to be nice, to be kind, to serve, to love that person.
If you act that way toward them it won't be long before your feelings follow.

Honestly praying for them will help as well.
It is hard to pray for someone for God to bless them & harbour ill feelings at the same time!

Sorry, I am rambling!
C S Lewis says very similar things in his chapter on Love/charity in his book Mere Christianity. I'll try to type some of them out later, but I have to do some running around.

I was having a difficult time with my oldest son. He constantly liked to jab with words, words he knew would be hurtful but thinking he was being funny. It was bothering me so I went to pray and fast for him one day at the church by myself and while praying God allowed me to feel His love toward my son and WOW!! it changed my heart and the offense I felt was gone. Now the things my son does and says, I can look past and not be offended in the way I was before I sought the Lord. I don't like what he says at times but his words don't stick into me like they use to.

We need the love of God shed abroad in our hearts for EVERYONE.

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 09:55 AM
Amen! More of Jesus & less of me!
Also, if everyone was honest, all of us struggle with this at one time or another!

I often find myself falling far short of the mark when I compare my character to Jesus!
I am like Paul, "I press toward the mark...." Sound familiar?:thumbsup
Yes! "I press toward the mark...!"

"....if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus."

If I could get a hold of Him like He got a hold of me!!!

P.S. Could you change the "cat" to "act" in your above post? Bad typo! lol

mizpeh
04-29-2009, 09:56 AM
Lord, it's so hard for me to do this. It's like being a liar, so I just do the avoidance thing. LOL! I can't separate the fake thing and the liar thing in my mind. I've never been able to do that.

I need help!Do it because it will please God. Read Romans 12. And keep in remembrance that we are all the children of God and all part of the body of Christ. We are members one of another.

Hope that helps.

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 09:58 AM
I just joined the choir at my new church-- I used to be a member of it before a long time ago. But the brother I sat next to in practice-- I think I made him uncomfortable. SO I was uncomfortable and was paralyzed by that discomfort because all I really wanted was to make friends with the lady on my left and the dude on my right.


I felt so awkward, so out of place-- I think I get on this guy's nerves!
He and his family are newer to the church than I am.

I'm sorry about this Jermyn! Since you just joined maybe this brother will settle down after he gets to know you. So many people are introverts, it's hard to reach out to them, fully, in the beginning. They have to feel less threatened or more comfortable. That may possibly happen if you have some function outside of church where many people tend to relax more.

Ferd
04-29-2009, 09:59 AM
Lord, it's so hard for me to do this. It's like being a liar, so I just do the avoidance thing. LOL! I can't separate the fake thing and the liar thing in my mind. I've never been able to do that.

I need help!

It is a lie when you are being fake toward people for your own image.

It is NOT a lie to "fake it" if the intention is that you are working on YOU, and you are doing your best to be like Christ.

Papa George used to say that if the truth would hurt someone, keep your mouth shut.

at least that is my personal veiw.

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 10:03 AM
Do it because it will please God. Read Romans 12. And keep in remembrance that we are all the children of God and all part of the body of Christ. We are members one of another.

Hope that helps.

I don't think it will please God if I'm not sincere in the gift giving and I'm honestly not today. I'm working on it though and will report my victory at some point. If I'm nice and polite He will be pleased with me.

One time I stood beside her when she was praying at the altar and she walked off. She didn't want me to pray with her, so there is a little more of a conflicted story here. Not sure what it is about. I'll learn something though.

I will read Romans 12 this afternoon, Mizpeh! Thanks! :friend

rgcraig
04-29-2009, 10:04 AM
It is a lie when you are being fake toward people for your own image.

It is NOT a lie to "fake it" if the intention is that you are working on YOU, and you are doing your best to be like Christ.

Papa George used to say that if the truth would hurt someone, keep your mouth shut.

at least that is my personal veiw.Ah, he had some good ones, didn't he?

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 10:05 AM
It is a lie when you are being fake toward people for your own image.

It is NOT a lie to "fake it" if the intention is that you are working on YOU, and you are doing your best to be like Christ.

Papa George used to say that if the truth would hurt someone, keep your mouth shut.

at least that is my personal veiw.

I never looked at it that way, Ferd. Okay, I can do this!!! :thumbsup

Michlow
04-29-2009, 10:08 AM
I thought at first this thread was going to be about me! :heeheehee

ILG
04-29-2009, 10:09 AM
I never looked at it that way, Ferd. Okay, I can do this!!! :thumbsup

Well, although this is a great idea, you might make sure you are prepared for the interaction that it will cause.

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 10:09 AM
I thought at first this thread was going to be about me! :heeheehee

Stop it!!!! :smack :toofunny

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 10:13 AM
Well, although this is a great idea, you might make sure you are prepared for the interaction that it will cause.
I take his instructions as if I am forced to have an exchange with her. She has a very defensive attitude at the beginning of any conversation and I generally don't talk to her much.

My struggle is that my husband teaches and whatever I do and how I act will affect any response he will get. It's like - why listen to you if you can't control your wife? LOL! So, I am seriously trying to be careful.

ILG
04-29-2009, 10:18 AM
I take his instructions as if I am forced to have an exchange with her. She has a very defensive attitude at the beginning of any conversation and I generally don't talk to her much.

My struggle is that my husband teaches and whatever I do and how I act will affect any response he will get. It's like - why listen to you if you can't control your wife? LOL! So, I am seriously trying to be careful.

It is possible that a quiet and indirect acceptance of her may work better than a "Hi, I will be your friend" approach. From what I read here, quiet and indirect may be better. You will have to decide.

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 10:23 AM
It is possible that a quiet and indirect acceptance of her may work better than a "Hi, I will be your friend" approach. From what I read here, quiet and indirect may be better. You will have to decide.

That's pretty much the direction I am taking with her. I'm not a "Hi! I want to be your friend" type person anyway. I normally don't allow people into my private space unless I feel they are a truly sincere person. That doesn't mean that I treat people outwardly different. It's an internal judgment call that I make. They will never know how I feel and I can maneuver the relationship where they feel like I care without allowing them into my life on a personal basis. Some people just don't need to be in your private space.

The main thing is that I just don't like being at odds in the church! It makes you feel dirty and ugly!! I hate that!!

Ferd
04-29-2009, 10:39 AM
Algae, I really like what you are saying! very sound stuff!

PO, I am right there with you. Working on ME is a hard thing! LOL! I live by a general rule. I dont like PEOPLE! which is a huge conflict for a minister.

I love individuals but "People" as a concept tend to be a problem for me. So working on me is often quite difficult where people are concerned.

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 10:45 AM
Algae, I really like what you are saying! very sound stuff!

PO, I am right there with you. Working on ME is a hard thing! LOL! I live by a general rule. I dont like PEOPLE! which is a huge conflict for a minister.

I love individuals but "People" as a concept tend to be a problem for me. So working on me is often quite difficult where people are concerned.
LOL!

Someone e-mailed me and said, "Maybe God is wanting to take some of the rough edges off of you." LOL! If He is, He's having a rough time of it! LOL!

That's the hard part - true - working on ourselves and having to look in the mirror and seeing a personality trait that needs to be fixed! You can only imagine that as Snow White looking in the mirror only to turn into the Wicked Step-mother. LOL!

You've reminded me of something a missionary once said, "Someone asked me how I liked Portugal. I said, 'I love it! It's the people I can't stand!"

:toofunny

LadyRev
04-29-2009, 10:56 AM
fake it till you make it.

Hey! Thats a good line!

I think I'll use that with my youth group. :thumbsup

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 10:57 AM
Hey! Thats a good line!

I think I'll use that with my youth group. :thumbsup

:toofunny :toofunny

Kay B
04-29-2009, 10:57 AM
Oh my ! I soon will be new where we are moving. Lord HELP ME !!!

LadyRev
04-29-2009, 11:03 AM
:toofunny :toofunny

They need all the help they can get. Well, my girls do anyway. The guys are fine but oh the drama with the girls. Hollywood soaps have nothing on my girls.

LadyRev
04-29-2009, 11:03 AM
Oh my ! I soon will be new where we are moving. Lord HELP ME !!!

Where are you moving? Closer perhaps?
Would love to see you again.

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 11:08 AM
They need all the help they can get. Well, my girls do anyway. The guys are fine but oh the drama with the girls. Hollywood soaps have nothing on my girls.

My husband has a few words about girls and women. I won't post it, but he's right! :toofunny

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 11:09 AM
Oh my ! I soon will be new where we are moving. Lord HELP ME !!!

Girl! Who would not like you?!!! You'll be fine. We have some friends coming to see us at the end of May who live in Alaska! Excited to see them! I'm sure he won't want to stick around the Texas coastal weather for long. LOL!

Kay B
04-29-2009, 11:10 AM
Where are you moving? Closer perhaps?
Would love to see you again.

We're moving back to Texas. It would be nice to see you again too.
We do plan on visiting around after we get setled in.

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 11:10 AM
Okay, Mizpeh! I'm going to start reading Romans 12. I hope you will all pray for me tonight. I really would like to see a change in both of us, but mainly in ME! If I can change, I will be all right! :sad

Kay B
04-29-2009, 11:18 AM
Girl! Who would not like you?!!! You'll be fine. We have some friends coming to see us at the end of May who live in Alaska! Excited to see them! I'm sure he won't want to stick around the Texas coastal weather for long. LOL!

Well I'm praying Texas has a cool summer this year. I'm sure your friends hope so too. :thumbsup
The past few weeks here have been drop dead gorgeous and HOT. I even got a bit of a sunburn yesterday sitting outside!

LadyRev
04-29-2009, 11:24 AM
We're moving back to Texas. It would be nice to see you again too.
We do plan on visiting around after we get setled in.

If I were to come see you in Texas, would that mean I might get to meet PO too?

Kay B
04-29-2009, 11:29 AM
If I were to come see you in Texas, would that mean I might get to meet PO too?

Maybe if you travel a bit further southwest. That would be great!

RevDWW
04-29-2009, 11:37 AM
The Word instructs us to love everybody, but it doesn't say we have to like them...........:thumbsup

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 11:55 AM
If I were to come see you in Texas, would that mean I might get to meet PO too?

Well, if I could get my husband to allow me to meet "imaginary" friends, we might could work that out. Just don't hold your breath.

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 11:55 AM
The Word instructs us to love everybody, but it doesn't say we have to like them...........:thumbsup

POTD!! Thanks - I can make it!!! :toofunny

Ron
04-29-2009, 12:07 PM
If I were to come see you in Texas, would that mean I might get to meet PO too?

Well, if I could get my husband to allow me to meet "imaginary" friends, we might could work that out. Just don't hold your breath.

I am stil waiting for her & her husband to come visit our family in Vancouver!:thumbsup

We may have to make the first step!:gotcha


Wait until she hears this in her driveway!:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeyTcBQGokE&feature=related

mizpeh
04-29-2009, 03:51 PM
The Word instructs us to love everybody, but it doesn't say we have to like them...........:thumbsup

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends

Do you really think it is easier to love than to like someone? Why?

MissBrattified
04-29-2009, 04:03 PM
PO, pray for her, and it will be therapeutic for you!!! And ask God to give you the wisdom to deal with her personality. I think some of the most difficult people to deal with are those who have been hurt.

However, I DO know what you mean. And...that's as far as I'll go with that! :D

MissBrattified
04-29-2009, 04:06 PM
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends

Do you really think it is easier to love than to like someone? Why?

I've heard that cliche a lot of times, and I think there's a little truth to it. You can be kind TO someone, and genuinely want the best for them, without liking how they are as a person.

I don't think it's easier to love. I think it's the meaning of love that matters--you can love someone unconditionally, which means, even if you don't like them. Love isn't something you say so much as something you DO.

Haven't you ever been angry with your husband? Or a parent? You still love them, right? Just because you're unhappy with someone, or don't like them (temporarily or permanently) doesn't mean you can't or don't love them.

Hence: You have to love everyone, but you don't have to like them. :thumbsup

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 04:22 PM
I am stil waiting for her & her husband to come visit our family in Vancouver!:thumbsup

We may have to make the first step!:gotcha


Wait until she hears this in her driveway!:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeyTcBQGokE&feature=related

:toofunny :thumbsup

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 04:29 PM
PO, pray for her, and it will be therapeutic for you!!! And ask God to give you the wisdom to deal with her personality. I think some of the most difficult people to deal with are those who have been hurt.

However, I DO know what you mean. And...that's as far as I'll go with that! :D
I agree - hurting people are the hardest to deal with AND the ones that need the most love! We lay down our very hearts when we reach for those in a hurting mindset or situation. I think we must be willing.

I have been praying that God would give me wisdom in dealing with her personality. Well, I asked that He would help me to have an understanding heart toward her. Same thing, right? lol

As to the bold part, above - I KNEW PEOPLE WOULD NOT ELABORATE!!! :sad :toofunny

I've heard that cliche a lot of times, and I think there's a little truth to it. You can be kind TO someone, and genuinely want the best for them, without liking how they are as a person.

I don't think it's easier to love. I think it's the meaning of love that matters--you can love someone unconditionally, which means, even if you don't like them. Love isn't something you say so much as something you DO.

Haven't you ever been angry with your husband? Or a parent? You still love them, right? Just because you're unhappy with someone, or don't like them (temporarily or permanently) doesn't mean you can't or don't love them.

Hence: You have to love everyone, but you don't have to like them. :thumbsup
That's kind of how I interpret Romans 12:18 "IF IT BE POSSIBLE, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Perhaps I should be focusing on the middle part of that verse - "...as much as lieth in you,..."

That is almost giving you a measure to weigh yourself by!

Well, at least I did what Mizpeh said to do - Read Romans 12! Actually, I do feel more tender in my heart at this moment, but I haven't walked into the sanctuary yet!!! :toofunny

Ron
04-29-2009, 05:03 PM
PO, prayer you can use!:thumbsup


Dear Lord, So far today, I am doing ok. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, or eaten any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit cards.....

But, I will be getting out of bed in a minute and I will really need Your help then.

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 05:09 PM
PO, prayer you can use!:thumbsup


Dear Lord, So far today, I am doing ok. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, or eaten any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit cards.....

But, I will be getting out of bed in a minute and I will really need Your help then.

:toofunny :toofunny

Well, I might struggle with everything above except for Chocolate. I know I won't be eating that. It could have been the lesser of the evils though. :toofunny

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 05:13 PM
RENDA!!! Do you remember that thread you started showing people on a journey carrying their cross with the one guy complaining and wanting it cut down? When he gets to the ravine, he can't get across?

A friend of mine from Austin just sent that to me a few minutes ago!!! Now that is very timely!!! I know someone is praying for me!!!

And it ends....


Whatever your cross,
Whatever your pain,
There will always be sunshine, after the rain....
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God's always ready, to answer your call....
He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
A word from His lips, can calm every fear...
Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light...
The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
To give you His grace, and send you His love.
May God fill your day with blessings!!


Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!

Praxeas
04-29-2009, 07:10 PM
If opposites attract does that mean equals repulse? Maybe they don't like you either? :ursofunny:ursofunny:ursofunny

Pressing-On
04-29-2009, 09:30 PM
If opposites attract does that mean equals repulse? Maybe they don't like you either? :ursofunny:ursofunny:ursofunny

:toofunny

I'm sure she doesn't! But, anyway, tonight went well. I really feel that she is trying to find her place and we have mainly been in charge of a lot of things for a while. After I prove to her that I am not trying to invade her space, I'm very sure everything will be fine.

Tonight was the first time I felt we didn't actually have a total personality conflict, just one of adjustment.

I appreciated ALL of the comments on this thread today! Everyone really helped me out today. :friend

Cindy
04-29-2009, 09:54 PM
I was not always likable, but I think I was always lovable. :)

Ron
04-29-2009, 09:58 PM
:toofunny

I'm sure she doesn't! But, anyway, tonight went well. I really feel that she is trying to find her place and we have mainly been in charge of a lot of things for a while. After I prove to her that I am not trying to invade her space, I'm very sure everything will be fine.

Tonight was the first time I felt we didn't actually have a total personality conflict, just one of adjustment.

I appreciated ALL of the comments on this thread today! Everyone really helped me out today. :friend

I always knew you had it in ya!:thumbsup

Pressing-On
04-30-2009, 06:10 AM
I was not always likable, but I think I was always lovable. :)

:toofunny :friend

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!!!!!!!!!!!

Pressing-On
04-30-2009, 06:11 AM
I always knew you had it in ya!:thumbsup

Thanks for your prayers, Ron! I think as I get older I have to be careful to "be not weary in well doing."!!

rgcraig
04-30-2009, 07:05 AM
Glad things went okay and yes, I think about that illustration quite often!

Pressing-On
04-30-2009, 08:51 AM
Glad things went okay and yes, I think about that illustration quite often!

Thanks! I was surprised to get that e-mail right before church!!! You should post that here, if you still have it, for those that have forgotten. I think it goes really well with the discussion.

rgcraig
04-30-2009, 08:54 AM
http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f108/rgcraig/cr1.jpg

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f108/rgcraig/cr2.jpg


http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f108/rgcraig/cr3.jpg


http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f108/rgcraig/cr4.jpg


http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f108/rgcraig/cr5.jpg

rgcraig
04-30-2009, 08:56 AM
http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f108/rgcraig/cr6.jpg

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f108/rgcraig/cr7.jpg

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f108/rgcraig/cr8.jpg

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f108/rgcraig/cr9.jpg

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f108/rgcraig/cr10.jpg

Whatever your cross,
Whatever your pain,
There will always be sunshine, after the rain....
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God's always ready, to answer your call....
He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
A word from His lips, can calm every fear...
Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light...
The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
To give you His grace, and send you His love.
May God fill your day with blessings!!


Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!

Bella1
04-30-2009, 09:33 AM
My family and I switched churches about 19 months ago after going to another church for 14 years.

For about 9-10 month, we sat and worshiped at the new church. No one really bothered us and we really did not try to make friends. Then we joined the choir and praise team. There was one lady who became a absolute thorn in my side. I literally cried every night when I went home because I had to sing with her. But know one knew except my husband how I felt.

Even though I am a confrontational person, I decided to just wait it out and see if the problem was with me or her. Because I have such a strong and outgoing personality, I assumed that she thought I was going to take over her spot on the praise team or something.

Well, all these months later and she is still not my favorite person She has not jerked the microphone out of my hand in quite awhile or asked the sound me to turn me down. I leave the lady alone. I very seldom speak to her. I go the the platform and give God all I can. Then I listen to the preaching and go home.

I am not at church to make friends, although I desire to and do have lots of buddies. If one person affects me negitivally, I just remove them from my circle of people. I do not like to offend anyone, although sometime people do say when they first meet me, they are petrified of me. ????? I honestly don't know why.

So yes. Everyone has that special Someone that is going to be that "person you just can't stand". :friend

Cindy
04-30-2009, 11:16 AM
My family and I switched churches about 19 months ago after going to another church for 14 years.

For about 9-10 month, we sat and worshiped at the new church. No one really bothered us and we really did not try to make friends. Then we joined the choir and praise team. There was one lady who became a absolute thorn in my side. I literally cried every night when I went home because I had to sing with her. But know one knew except my husband how I felt.

Even though I am a confrontational person, I decided to just wait it out and see if the problem was with me or her. Because I have such a strong and outgoing personality, I assumed that she thought I was going to take over her spot on the praise team or something.

Well, all these months later and she is still not my favorite person She has not jerked the microphone out of my hand in quite awhile or asked the sound me to turn me down. I leave the lady alone. I very seldom speak to her. I go the the platform and give God all I can. Then I listen to the preaching and go home.

I am not at church to make friends, although I desire to and do have lots of buddies. If one person affects me negitivally, I just remove them from my circle of people. I do not like to offend anyone, although sometime people do say when they first meet me, they are petrified of me. ????? I honestly don't know why.

So yes. Everyone has that special Someone that is going to be that "person you just can't stand". :friend

So you go to church with PO?................:gotcha

Ferd
04-30-2009, 11:41 AM
So you go to church with PO?................:gotcha

That was FUNNY!

Jermyn Davidson
04-30-2009, 11:50 AM
PO,


Well I approached the guy I thought I had rubbed the wrong way and he is either "faking it until he makes it" or he really wasn't offended.



Maybe the person who is getting on your nerves realizes they are nerve wracking and they don't know how to approach you about it.

Ron
04-30-2009, 11:52 AM
PO,


Well I approached the guy I thought I had rubbed the wrong way and he is either "faking it until he makes it" or he really wasn't offended.



Maybe the person who is getting on your nerves realizes they are nerve wracking and they don't know how to approach you about it.

Good point!:thumbsup

Pressing-On
04-30-2009, 04:36 PM
So you go to church with PO?................:gotcha

Okay you little tadpole!!!! :smack :snapout :thwak :tricycle :winaa :pillowfight :boxing :drawguns :guns :Nhl_check :girlytantrum

Pressing-On
04-30-2009, 04:56 PM
My family and I switched churches about 19 months ago after going to another church for 14 years.

For about 9-10 month, we sat and worshiped at the new church. No one really bothered us and we really did not try to make friends. Then we joined the choir and praise team. There was one lady who became a absolute thorn in my side. I literally cried every night when I went home because I had to sing with her. But know one knew except my husband how I felt.

Even though I am a confrontational person, I decided to just wait it out and see if the problem was with me or her. Because I have such a strong and outgoing personality, I assumed that she thought I was going to take over her spot on the praise team or something.

Well, all these months later and she is still not my favorite person She has not jerked the microphone out of my hand in quite awhile or asked the sound me to turn me down. I leave the lady alone. I very seldom speak to her. I go the the platform and give God all I can. Then I listen to the preaching and go home.

I am not at church to make friends, although I desire to and do have lots of buddies. If one person affects me negitivally, I just remove them from my circle of people. I do not like to offend anyone, although sometime people do say when they first meet me, they are petrified of me. ????? I honestly don't know why.

So yes. Everyone has that special Someone that is going to be that "person you just can't stand". :friend

Bella,
I appreciate how you handled the situation. That was the wisest and best way!

I am not a confrontational person, but I will take up for myself if confronted. I don't recall ever getting into a heated altercation, at any time, since being in church. I just verified that with my husband and he said he doesn't recall that has ever happened. Just wanted to be sure! LOL

After some of my posting here, I wasn't sure anyone would believe that! :toofunny

The worse thing that I have done is remind a pastor's wife that her own mother said that she was a smart aleck. I was very ladylike when I addressed the issue. :D I thought she might need to know that. Don't mess with my children - ever! I also thought that if I wasn't in church I would like to waylay her. :D But, I got through that one and they moved and are tormenting another congregation. :D Praise the Lord! :toofunny

My very worst fault is that I am not perfect, but I am a perfectionist. I want everything organized, laid out and on schedule. I'm sure that does annoy people. I want no excuses. Frankly, people are so lazy and unproductive these days. That is very annoying to me. Just do it and do it right - the first time!!!!!!! Whew, I need something to drink!!! :toofunny

I don't go to church to make best friends, because I do draw a circle around my privacy and, well, even though invisible, you can't cross it. In doing that I am not the one that gets the calls concerning gossip, etc. That does save me some aggravation. Hey, it works for me.

One of my good qualities, even though I'm a private person, I do try to include everyone when we are together. I try to make everyone feel welcome and involved. Even when we were doing our Easter program, I made sure that all actors were happy with the fabric colors, texture, etc. in their costumes. That is a little way, for me, to show that I value them as a person. I don't know if they see that or not, but it's something I need to do for myself.

I have seen a tremendous insecurity in this woman, for whatever reason, and happened to hear her speaking about a book she was reading on that very subject - being intimidated. That allowed me to know it was a big issue for her. After I get past her defensive attitude, by not feeding it, I'm sure she will see that I am not here to hurt her in any way.

For the most part, in all honesty, we've been through a rough time in the last three or four years and I think I forgot to be on guard for - "the love of many shall wax cold." I don't want that to happen to me. This was a wake up call to watch my attitude and spend more time with God that He would fill me with His love, thereby, extending that love to others. God is good. I am thankful He has helped me nip this in the bud!

Pressing-On
04-30-2009, 05:00 PM
PO,


Well I approached the guy I thought I had rubbed the wrong way and he is either "faking it until he makes it" or he really wasn't offended.



Maybe the person who is getting on your nerves realizes they are nerve wracking and they don't know how to approach you about it.
I'm sure that is not it, but thanks anyway. LOL!

Glad you let the guy know how you felt. Maybe he didn't want to admit to you that he was at fault and that is why he said he wasn't offended. He will probably take care of his attitude, privately, and do better. Hoping he does.

Let us know!!! Praying for you!

ILG
04-30-2009, 08:13 PM
I have seen a tremendous insecurity in this woman, for whatever reason, and happened to hear her speaking about a book she was reading on that very subject - being intimidated. That allowed me to know it was a big issue for her. After I get past her defensive attitude, by not feeding it, I'm sure she will see that I am not here to hurt her in any way.


Well, just because someone is reading a book on a subject doesn't mean they have a big problem....it might mean quite the opposite, that they are unafraid to confront their own issues.

Pressing-On
04-30-2009, 08:35 PM
Well, just because someone is reading a book on a subject doesn't mean they have a big problem....it might mean quite the opposite, that they are unafraid to confront their own issues.
So, it is an issue? lol

ILG
04-30-2009, 08:42 PM
So, it is an issue? lol

Maybe she is having a big issue, but is trying to deal with it. Some people just deny they have issues at all. ;)

Pressing-On
04-30-2009, 09:04 PM
Maybe she is having a big issue, but is trying to deal with it. Some people just deny they have issues at all. ;)
Are you having fun, ILG? lol I never denied I needed to work on myself in this "issue". :D

Ron
04-30-2009, 09:06 PM
Okay you little tadpole!!!! :smack :snapout :thwak :tricycle :winaa :pillowfight :boxing :drawguns :guns :Nhl_check :girlytantrum

Texas Speak?:D

Pressing-On
04-30-2009, 09:07 PM
Texas Speak?:D

:toofunny I guess so!!!

Cindy
05-01-2009, 08:00 AM
Texas Speak?:D

I knew exactly what she meant!!!!!!!!!!!!

:toofunny

ILG
05-01-2009, 08:36 AM
Are you having fun, ILG? lol I never denied I needed to work on myself in this "issue". :D

PO, why is it that you personalize what I said? I said some people deny their own issues. I was not talking about you. If this woman is reading something about her own issues, it is better than denying them.

Pressing-On
05-01-2009, 08:45 AM
Maybe she is having a big issue, but is trying to deal with it. Some people just deny they have issues at all. ;)

PO, why is it that you personalize what I said? I said some people deny their own issues. I was not talking about you. If this woman is reading something about her own issues, it is better than denying them.

I took your "wink" above as a subtle or not so subtle insinuation. Perhaps that's how I take some of your posts. And I figured it wasn't too far removed from how you addressed me on your money saving thread. Just sayin'... :D

Pressing-On
05-01-2009, 08:45 AM
I knew exactly what she meant!!!!!!!!!!!!

:toofunny

:thumbsup

ILG
05-01-2009, 08:51 AM
I took your "wink" above as a subtle or not so subtle insinuation. Perhaps that's how I take some of your posts. And I figured it wasn't too far removed from how you addressed me on your money saving thread. Just sayin'... :D

No, I didn't mean it that way at all. And I only gave my opinion on the money saving thread, which is different than yours. So, I will say that I have not meant to come across wrong and if I did I apologize.

Pressing-On
05-01-2009, 08:57 AM
No, I didn't mean it that way at all. And I only gave my opinion on the money saving thread, which is different than yours. So, I will say that I have not meant to come across wrong and if I did I apologize.

I apologize if I misunderstood you.

ILG
05-01-2009, 08:58 AM
I apologize if I misunderstood you.

Okay.

Glenda B
05-01-2009, 09:07 AM
There are people I have issues with as I'm sure everyone has some type of issue if they will be honest enough to admit it to themselves and others.

I have issues with people who think they know it all, always have to be right, and have the last say as my Mom always said, or bust a gut.

Ferd
05-01-2009, 09:18 AM
There are people I have issues with as I sure everyone has some type of issue is they will be honest enough to admit it to themselves and others.

I have issues with people who think they know it all, always have to be right and have the last say.

That's my pet peeve.

i am posting a reply here so you wont have a problem with yourself... if you had the last say here, you might have an issue with yourself, and it is hard to live with someone you have an issue with and I wouldnt want you to have a hard time living with you.

God Bless you Sister Glenda B!

Glenda B
05-01-2009, 09:22 AM
i am posting a reply here so you wont have a problem with yourself... if you had the last say here, you might have an issue with yourself, and it is hard to live with someone you have an issue with and I wouldnt want you to have a hard time living with you.

God Bless you Sister Glenda B!

LOLOL Thank you Ferd, but I wouldn't want to be talking about you too. LOL :thumbsup

Keep me in line, OK. LOL

Cindy
05-01-2009, 09:54 AM
:toofunny

Pressing-On
05-01-2009, 11:36 AM
i am posting a reply here so you wont have a problem with yourself... if you had the last say here, you might have an issue with yourself, and it is hard to live with someone you have an issue with and I wouldnt want you to have a hard time living with you.

God Bless you Sister Glenda B!

:ursofunny

mizpeh
05-01-2009, 07:53 PM
But love in the Christian sense does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people.

I pointed out in the chater on Forgiveness that our love for ourselves does not mean that we like ourselves. It means we wish our own good. In the same way Christian love (or charity) for our neighbours is quite a different thing from liking or affection. We "like " or are "fond of" some people, and not of others. It is important to understand that this natural "liking " in neither a sin nor a virtue, any more than your likes and dislikes in food are a sin or a virtue. It is just a fact. But, of course, what we do about it is either sinful or virtuous.

Natural liking or affection for people makes it easier to be "charitable" towards them. It is, therefore, normally a duty to encourage our affections -- to " like " people as much as we can (just as it is often our duty to encourage our liking for exercise or wholesome food) -- not because this liking is itself the virtue of charity, but because it is a help to it. On the other hand, it is also necessary to keep a very sharp look-out for fear our liking for some one person makes us uncharitable, or even unfair, to someone else. There are even cases where our liking conflicts with our charity towards the person we like. For example, a doting mother may be tempted by natural affection to spoil her child; that is, to gratify her own affectionate impulses at the expense of the child's real happiness later on.

But though natural likings should normally be encouraged, it would be quite wrong to think that the way to become charitable is to sit trying to manufacture affectionate feelings. Some people are cold by temperament; that may be a misfortune for them, but it is no more a sin than having a bad digestion is a sin; and it does not cut them out from the chance, or excuse them from the duty, of learning charity.

The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you love your neighbour; act as if you did. [Ferd's: "fake it til you make it"] As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less. There is, indeed, one exception. If you do him a good turn, not to please God and obey the law of charity, but to show him what a fine chap you are, and to put him in your debt, and then sit down to wait for his gratitude, you will probably be disappointed.(People are not fools: they have a very quick eye for anything like showing off, or patronage.) But whenever we do good to another self, just because it is a self, made (like us) by God, and desiring its own happiness as we desire ours, we shall have learned to love it a little more or, at least, to dislike it less.

Consequently, though Christian charity sounds a very cold thing to people whose heads are full of sentimentality, and though it is quite distinct from affection, yet it leads to affection. the difference between a Christian and a worldly man is not that the worldly man has only affections or likings and the Christian has only charity.The worldly man treats certain people kindly because he likes them: the Christian, trying to treat every one kindly, finds himself liking more and more people as he goes on--including people he could not even have imagined himself liking at the beginning.

Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis (pages 129-131)

Pressing-On
05-01-2009, 10:47 PM
But love in the Christian sense does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people.

I pointed out in the chater on Forgiveness that our love for ourselves does not mean that we like ourselves. It means we wish our own good. In the same way Christian love (or charity) for our neighbours is quite a different thing from liking or affection. We "like " or are "fond of" some people, and not of others. It is important to understand that this natural "liking " in neither a sin nor a virtue, any more than your likes and dislikes in food are a sin or a virtue. It is just a fact. But, of course, what we do about it is either sinful or virtuous.

Natural liking or affection for people makes it easier to be "charitable" towards them. It is, therefore, normally a duty to encourage our affections -- to " like " people as much as we can (just as it is often our duty to encourage our liking for exercise or wholesome food) -- not because this liking is itself the virtue of charity, but because it is a help to it. On the other hand, it is also necessary to keep a very sharp look-out for fear our liking for some one person makes us uncharitable, or even unfair, to someone else. There are even cases where our liking conflicts with our charity towards the person we like. For example, a doting mother may be tempted by natural affection to spoil her child; that is, to gratify her own affectionate impulses at the expense of the child's real happiness later on.

But though natural likings should normally be encouraged, it would be quite wrong to think that the way to become charitable is to sit trying to manufacture affectionate feelings. Some people are cold by temperament; that may be a misfortune for them, but it is no more a sin than having a bad digestion is a sin; and it does not cut them out from the chance, or excuse them from the duty, of learning charity.

The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you love your neighbour; act as if you did. [Ferd's: "fake it til you make it"] As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less. There is, indeed, one exception. If you do him a good turn, not to please God and obey the law of charity, but to show him what a fine chap you are, and to put him in your debt, and then sit down to wait for his gratitude, you will probably be disappointed.(People are not fools: they have a very quick eye for anything like showing off, or patronage.) But whenever we do good to another self, just because it is a self, made (like us) by God, and desiring its own happiness as we desire ours, we shall have learned to love it a little more or, at least, to dislike it less.

Consequently, though Christian charity sounds a very cold thing to people whose heads are full of sentimentality, and though it is quite distinct from affection, yet it leads to affection. the difference between a Christian and a worldly man is not that the worldly man has only affections or likings and the Christian has only charity.The worldly man treats certain people kindly because he likes them: the Christian, trying to treat every one kindly, finds himself liking more and more people as he goes on--including people he could not even have imagined himself liking at the beginning.

Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis (pages 129-131)

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, Mizpeh!!!! Thanks for your post!!!!! :thumbsup

RevDWW
05-06-2009, 11:38 AM
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends

Do you really think it is easier to love than to like someone? Why?

No it's not easier to love than to like. But we are instructed to love, in the same manner as Jesus loved. Do you think Jesus liked Judas?

RevDWW
05-06-2009, 11:39 AM
But love in the Christian sense does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people.


Agreed!

'Like' is an emotional thing, 'Agape/Charity/Love' is a matter of will.

Fiyahstarter
05-06-2009, 03:18 PM
I follow the "love thy neighbor as thyself".

Problem is, sometimes I don't like myself!! LOL!!!